It's All On You
by BellaClary
Summary: Tyler is still damaged from his brothers death & can't get through the darkness he's consumed by. Aiden invites prostitutes over in an attempt to make him feel better. Tyler is instantly intrigued with Mallory. Rated M for a reason. NoTylerMalloryDeath
1. Chapter 1 Tyler

**Summary:** Tyler is still damaged from his brother's death and can't get through the darkness he's consumed by. Aiden, his roommate, invites prostitutes to their apartment in an attempt to make him feel better. Without disclosing to Tyler that the girls are prostitutes Tyler becomes intrigued with Mallory. They hang out and things seem like they're going well she keeps him out of the darkness. Although when the darkness takes over again and she leaves he finds out she's a prostitute. Will he be able to let her go or will he find a way to meet her again? Rated M for a reason, Lemons, AU

**A/N: Thank you for taking time to check out this story, I really hope you enjoy it. This is the first fanfic that I've ever written and I have no beta/prereader so all the mistakes are mine. **

**I wanted to write a Tyllory story because there weren't many around and I ship them so hard together that ideas of their relationship kept going through my mind. This is one of them finally being written out. **

**Xoxo**

I always get a coffee at the corner by my apartment. Every single damn day I get one without fail. Sometimes more but it all depends. I can't handle anything without my coffee. Once I get that I can handle the rest of my day and deal with my job and all the other fucking shit that goes along with me. Today's Friday, but isn't any different than any other Friday. I'll be going to work then going home. I don't want to do anything but sit, drink, sleep, it's getting too close to that time of year again that I fucking hate so much.

The thing is I know I'm not a fun person to be around. I'm moody and I get pissed off really easy. I have a lot of baggage and it makes dealing with things a lot harder. I don't like people getting close to me. It's useless. I'm never fun after the first ten minutes because that's when my mind begins to wander. Aiden is the only person in my life other than my parents who actually knows what's going on with me and even though he tries to get me to go out and do things he is still supportive.

I work at one of the hundreds of Italian restaurants in New York City doing random things in the kitchen. Its small but is always busy. I like working there I'm no chef but I can cook some things. I just work there to pay the bills. It also helps keep my mind off of things. Cooking and keeping my mind moving constantly leaves little room for it to wander.

As I was leaving work my phone started ringing, I glanced at it before answering already knowing who would be calling.

"What?"

"That's no way to answer the phone, Tyler. When are you going to be home?"

" Soon" I figured that Aiden was probably going to try and get me to go out tonight.

"Good. " He hung up before I could even respond. Maybe that's because I've been in a horrible mood the past couple days, even worse than normal. Sunday is coming too quickly and I already know I'm going to crash hard.

I got to my apartment a few minutes later. We lived in a pretty big apartment building that was full of run down piece of shit places but I liked it. It was cheap too, which helped. Before I even opened the door I could hear a girl's voice on the other side. It was probably one of Aiden's girls he always has waiting on the side for him. He could be such a player. I opened the door and looked into the living room as I tried to find the voice and was met with two new faces. One girl was sitting on Aiden's lap and the other our couch.

The girl in his lap was tall, curvy and had short blonde hair. She was pretty and didn't even notice I had come into the apartment because she had her mouth attached to Aiden's neck. The other girl, sitting on the couch, was the one that intrigued me though.

She was thin and tiny but not short. She had brown hair that flowed down her back and incredibly pale skin. I caught myself staring at her in the doorway when she turned towards me and smiled. Her eyes shocked me. They were a piercing green that lightened with her smile. I couldn't help but notice her red pouty lips as her smile relaxed. I instantly had the urge to kiss them. Aiden noticed her attention was focused on something else and turned around to say hello.

"Hello" I responded lamely I was trying to recover from completely staring at the girl still sitting on our couch, who was now completely turned to face me at the doorway. I kept wanting to look again but I had to refrain myself, I didn't want to seem creepy for staring at her.

" Tyler! I want you to meet my new friends! This is Sara." He gestured to the blonde sitting on top of him in a chair. "and this is her friend Mallory. Mallory this is Tyler." He introduced us winking at me making me even more confused. Why was Mallory here? For me? I wasn't interested in girls right now. I hadn't been interested since the..incident. He knew this. I couldn't handle the commitment and I didn't want to. I was content being alone and doing my own thing. I wasn't like him with his sleeping around and finding a new girl as often as possible, he got bored easily. I mean I guess I used to be like him, sleeping around. But that was before. I keep to myself now.

"Hi Tyler" I looked at her again and was met with those green eyes. They were ringed in black in a sexy way that gave the impression she didn't give a fuck. She was absolutely beautiful. I hadn't been this attracted to a girl in a long time and I think I was enjoying it a little too much. I don't know how I could even handle being involved with someone right now… I was still a mess. What was I saying? I hadn't even talked to her yet and I was already killing off our relationship. Maybe I am going crazy. Whatever.

"Hello Mallory" I smiled at her and pulled my hand through my hair to try and calm my nerves. We continued to keep eye contact and I heard Aiden clear his throat.

"Tyler could I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute?" Aiden bumped my shoulder as he walked past me pulling me out of the hold Mallory seem to have over me. Our entire apartment was very small. You could take ten steps and walk through most of it, I'm not even kidding. I followed him in and could already tell he had something up his sleeve. "Look you've been so out of it the past couple months. You don't do anything but work and sleep." Great. Getting lectured again." You don't even try to get with girls anymore which I get or whatever but its been two years Tyler. Two fucking years. You need to start living life again."

"Yeah , I guess." I knew I had been out of it recently but I don't think I realized just how bad I had gotten. He didn't need to bring up the anniversary to me like I didn't know, I obviously knew. Plus I think he meant that I should get with Mallory. Which to tell you the truth I was liking that idea a little too much right now.

"I'm serious dude. You need to get out of this..funk..or whatever you want to call it. Mallory's a cool girl, hang out with her for a while." He winked at the end of his sentence and led the way back to the living room. So he wanted me to hook up with her? This made me oddly happy and I didn't want to admit why.

"Well I'm going to go take Sara into my room for a while." Before I could even realize what he was doing he grabbed the other girl and went into his room. I was alone with Mallory. I didn't know what to do next. I hadn't really hung out with a girl outside of the bars Aiden was always bringing me to, trying to get me to have fun.

I looked over at her sitting on the couch and saw she was watching tv and not looking at me. Part of me wished she had been looking and part of me was glad she wasn't. It gave me a moment to look her over, when I did I noticed she had on a very tiny black skirt and a blue tank top. It was simple and yet incredibly sexy. I went and sat down in a chair across from her. I didn't want to sit next to her because that could just make things awkward so sitting in the chair seemed my best plan.

"So, Tyler."

"So, Mallory."

"Why are you sitting so far away from me?" She looked over at me and smiled.

"I'm not sure. Would you like me to move?" Say yes. I tensed up hoping she'd take the bait. She didn't say anything but patted the cushion beside her. I relaxed as I got up and moved so that I was sitting beside her. I could feel her body heat and I suddenly had the urge to touch her. I was attracted to this girl and this was rare for me. I didn't know whether I should take advantage of that or leave it alone.

"What are you watching?" After I said it I internally smacked myself who asks that while sitting next to someone obviously watching it with them?

"Some cooking show on food network.." She smiled and almost seemed embarrassed. That couldn't be it though she was probably just wondering why I'm so weird.

"Do you cook?" Why not..I was already on the cooking conversation path let's keep going.

"Um not really.." She laughed and looked at me. "Do you?"

"Yeah I can make a few really good things."

"Maybe you could cook for me sometime?" After she said it she looked like she regretted it. That confused me? Why would she regret saying that? I need to stop over analyzing everything.

"Yes I think that we could arrange something." I winked at her and she smiled but it wasn't the same smile as before-this one had sadness behind her eyes. Although, as quickly as the sadness behind her eyes came, it went.

"Do you want something to drink? Beer? Rum? Vodka? Soda? Water?" I offered everything I could think that we would have in our fridge, rambling on until she cut me off. I probably sounded like a blubbering idiot.

" I'll just take whatever you're having" She gave me a small smile as I got up and went into the kitchen. I scrambled for a moment before deciding that I needed something harder than beer. We had so much alcohol in the house because Aiden was always restocking. He wanted to make sure if we ever had an impromptu party, we'd be prepared. I ended up grabbing rum and made two rum and cokes. It would calm me down faster and then maybe I could try not to make a fool of myself. I downed mine and had to make another because my nerves were coming back and I needed them to disappear if I were to actually be normal tonight.

"Here you go. Its rum and coke." I handed her the drink and she nodded thank you as she took a sip.I sat down back down next to her but this time a little closer. As I took a large sip of my drink I could feel the alcohol in my system already which caused my tense muscles to relax slightly. I looked over at her and was met with those green eyes looking back at me. "I love your eyes" I said without even thinking.

"Thank you" she smiled at me. I wanted to make her smile again. I wanted to see those full pink lips of hers pull into that smile again and again. Luckily liquid courage was coming to my rescue. I could do this. I needed to make the most of this situation because I was obviously attracted to her and she was incredibly beautiful. Why she was still here after having me stare at her half the time and the other half make stupid comments no one cared about was beyond me. Maybe she was attracted to me?

"I'm sorry I'm not the best conversationalist. I just.." I didn't know what to say. I'm really fucked up and have a lot of baggage in my life, can I kiss you?

"Don't worry about it." She smiled at me and finished off her drink placing the glass on the coffee table in front of her. She then pulled her legs up on the couch with her so that her knees were touching my thigh. I looked over to meet her eyes once again. She ran her tongue over her bottom lip and then pulled it between her teeth. I wanted her. Badly. I wanted to touch every inch of her.

"Tell me about yourself." If I could keep her talking I would stop thinking about touching her, at least I hoped.

"There's nothing to tell. I'm twenty and I've lived in the city my entire life." She kept eye contact with me as she answered. I wanted her to tell me more but I didn't know what to ask. "What about you, Tyler?" She said my name so softly that I almost didn't hear it.

"I'm not interesting either. I'm twenty one and I've lived here since I was young." If she was going for cryptic answers I could do the same thing. Not like I'd actually go all into my life story but still. "You don't look twenty one.." I didn't realize I had said this out loud until she laughed and squinted her eyes at me.

"Oh really? How old do I look then?" She was teasing me now and I knew it.

"I don't know..eighteen?"

"Why do you think that?"

"Your eyes" It didn't make sense for her to lie about her age, maybe I'm just overanalyzing things again. Although, there was a maturity behind her eyes that I couldn't ignore.

"What's your favorite food?" She broke eye contact with me and looked down at her hands in her lap.

"Uh Italian. I know a good place a few blocks away and I work there. So I suppose that may be a biast opinion." I looked up from my lap to see her laughing quietly." What about you?" I noticed we were both leaning in towards each other drastically. I had my arm draped around the couch above her shoulders and she was sitting sideways with her legs tucked under her. She still had her knees touching my thighs and was leaning into my arm on the couch slightly. I just wanted to touch her. My jeans were causing there to be no actual contact to her pale skin and I couldn't think of anything but touching it.

"I basically eat everything" She laughed as she said this and I looked at her with mock surprise.

"Yeah okay. No one as skinny as you eats everything." She was very slim and fit I could see the muscle definition in her arms and legs. The window beside the couch was letting in a neon glow from the lights which made her skin look almost translucent. I looked a little closer and I noticed she had bruises on her legs. I wondered where she would have gotten them?

"Thank you?" She laughed again. I was becoming addicted to her laugh it was so playful and carefree. It made me laugh too. "But I could eat more than you anyday. It's a gift!" She said playfully and poked my chest in the process.

" Oh really?"

"Yes. Although, I'm probably better at a lot of things than you are." She winked at me. She fucking winked. What did that mean? I kept eye contact as she looked at me from under her eyelashes. She was leaning in so far now that my arm was an inch away from being around her shoulders. I wanted to close the gap and touch her skin, it looked so soft.

"Like what?" I said suggestively leaning in closer to her and whispering in her ear.

" Let me show you.." I wasn't prepared for her to actually do anything so when I felt a tug at my earlobe I shivered.


	2. Chapter 2 Tyler

**Chapter 2**

It took me a second to realize that she was using her teeth to tug on my ear and then she began to suck on it. My breathing sped up as she slowly made her way down my neck nibbling and biting until she got to my collar bone. I was becoming increasingly aroused with each kiss, bite and suck. She slowly began making her way back up sucking at my skin and kissing. I couldn't handle it anymore, I needed to touch her. I wanted to feel her. I wanted her mouth on mine. I took my right hand and slowly dragged it up her thigh relishing in how soft her skin was. I knew it would be. I wanted to pay more attention to her legs but my lust took over and I grabbed her waist and pulled her towards me. She didn't resist me as she pressed herself against my chest. I tilted her head up so that I could see directly into her green eyes before leaning down and placing my lips on hers softly. Slowly we began moving our lips against each others in an incredibly sensual way. I ran my tongue across her bottom lip and she parted her lips allowing me to explore her mouth. Our tongues danced together as our lips crushed against each other over and over again. She let out small moans as I circled her tongue with mine. Her sounds were intoxicating, I wanted more. Everything about her made me want more.

Suddenly she pulled herself over so that she was now straddling my legs. I still wanted her closer to me. I wanted her to feel what she was doing to me but I didn't want to scare her either by being so forward. As I was thinking this she wrapped her hands around the back of my neck and pulled herself as close as she could get to me. Her body was completely flush against mine and I knew she could feel my hardness beneath her. Her hands traveled into my hair tugging and pulling. I wrapped my arms around her to keep her in place. She began to move slowly on top of me creating the friction I craved. I moaned into her mouth as she continuously grinded into me. We continued to kiss, never letting our lips separate from each other.

"Want to go to my room?" I mumbled into her lips as we continued to move against each other. _Say yes, say yes, say yes._

"Yes" her voice was raspy as I stood up. She wrapped her legs around me as I walked us into my room and laid us down on my bed keeping her on top of me. We stayed connected whether it was with our lips, hands or bodies.

"So you still think you're a better kisser than me?" I whispered against her neck.

"Maybe." She whispered back as I kissed and sucked at her neck. My hands were all over her. Tracing over her flat stomach, up her sides continued further. Right before going underneath her bra I paused causing her breath to shake.

"Then I guess I'll just have to prove you wrong" I whispered in her ear before making my way back to her mouth and kissing her hard. I bit her bottom lip eliciting a moan from her. That sound went straight to my dick. I slid my hand underneath her bra and ran my hands around her breasts. They fit perfectly in my hand as I squeezed and rubbed. She sat up slightly pushing me off her and I didn't understand why . At first I thought she was uncomfortable and wanted to stop..that was until she pulled her shirt and bra off swiftly revealing herself to me. God, I wanted her. I pulled my shirt off and pulled her on top of me once again. Our kissing became frantic as our hands traveled across each others bodies. Her skin was so soft and smooth. I used one arm to hold her as close to me while the other could tease her nipples tugging and pinching at them. She was grinding on me again and the sensation was phenomenal. She lowered herself and began to undo my pants as she stared at me from under her eyelashes. I wanted to be inside of her. I turned my head to look in my nightstand for a condom, _please let me still have some in there,_ when I saw something that I wished I hadn't. It killed the mood. It was just a picture but it brought the nightmares back instantly.

"I'm sorry.." I moved back " I just..I cant..do this.." I could see the confusion in her face. I was completely turning down this beautiful girl and I had no reason to do so except that my fucking baggage was always coming back to haunt me. Here I was a few minutes ago worried she was going to turn me down, I'm such a hypocrite.

"What?" She looked at me with such a lost look in her eyes.

"I cant do..this.." I pointed at the two of us. The lustful state we had just been in had worn off and my nightmares had fully taken over, like a thunderstorm taking over blue skies.

"Oh." She looked hurt but then quickly recovered. "Whatever." She got off me and put her clothes back on. Before I could say anything she had opened my bedroom door and walked out. Fuck. I cannot believe I'm messing this up. She probably thinks I don't want her, but I do. I really, really do. I'd just have to make sure she knows that before she leaves and I never get to see her again.

I got up, put my shirt, fixed my pants and made my way down the hall. I could hear Aiden talking to her so I paused, he'd help me out. He had to.

"You still have to fucking pay me." Paid? What? Was that Mallory talking?

"What the hell happened?"

"He didn't want it. You know you still have to fucking pay me for this shit we made a deal." That was Mallory but it did not sound like the Mallory I had just spent the past hour with. Why would he be paying her?

"I know we made a deal.." Aiden hesitated and I heard him ruffling though cash. "God damnit …Here. Take it and leave."

"Gladly." I heard the door open and slam shut. I was still frozen in the hallway as I tried to piece together what had just happened. Did he hire her to sleep with me? My mind was racing with the memories of things I wanted to forget still in my head. I couldn't focus on what had just happened with Mallory.

"Aiden! What the fuck just happened?" I was almost yelling as I walked into the living room to find him walking back towards his room. He stopped dead in his tracks and put his hands out as if to stop me.

"Dude I just wanted you to have fun tonight! I found Sara and was going to be bringing her home anyways and so I figured I could get you a little toy too! You need it!" What? Was I hearing him correctly? Did he pick me up a prostitute? Mallory..was a prostitute? "You are still so fucked up from.."

"Stop fucking reminding me!" I screamed back at him. I felt like I was being suffocated I needed to get out of the apartment and away from him.

"See! You are still so affected! You need to live and have fun and fuck random women from time to time!" I wanted to punch him. My fists balled up and I struggled to keep them at my sides.

"I cant fucking live and have fun Aiden. I'm not allowed to do that anymore." My voice was so strained. I kept my eyes focused on our window beside the couch. I didn't think I could handle looking directly at his face.

"Yeah? Who the hell told you that?" I needed to get out of here. Immediately.

"Doesn't fucking matter. "

"Tyler you don't even know what the hell you're talking about, you need relax dude."

"I can't believe you fucking did this." I grabbed my keys and shoes and walked out. Who the fuck did he think he was? You can't fix me. Hiring a damn prostitute to make me feel better? Prostitutes can't fix me either. She obviously didn't want me. She was just using me for money. She didn't give a shit if I had issues or what my background was. Here I was trying to be all nice and ask her about herself and she didn't give a shit. She was there for one thing. Nothing we had talked about actually is relevant because it was all a lie. She got paid and made it pretty damn clear when she left that I wasn't fucking fun to be with anyways. I'm such a fucking idiot.


	3. Chapter 3 Mallory

**How are you liking this fic so far? Thank you to all those who have put this story in their favorites or added story alert. I love you.**

**We're in Mallorys head now..what did she think of Tyler?**

Well whatever tonight was..interesting. No you know what, I made a lot of fucking money tonight for not actually doing anything. When does that ever happen? I mean what guy doesn't want sex? Really dude? He must be all kinds of fucked if he turned down free sex from someone he had just met.

Although… he was incredibly attractive.. I'm sure he gets laid all the time. He must have girls lining up with a face like that. His body wasn't too bad either. Who am I kidding he was fucking sexy as hell. He was the first guy I've worked for in the past year that I've actually been attracted to. That is a convenient fucking thing to happen. Figures. I'm pretty sure he was attracted to me too but maybe I just wasn't his type? Whatever I won't ever see him again anyways.

I was walking down the street towards my apartment. Luckily it wasn't too far away from where Tyler and Aiden live so I didn't have to pay for a fucking cab. I just wish it wasn't so damn cold at night, wearing a tank top and skirt is great for working but not for anything else.

I 'm confused about him though. When we were talking about cooking and I fucking slipped saying he should cook for me he said we could arrange something. You don't say "arrange" unless you mean I'm going to pay you to fuck me. Right? Was my sense of wording totally fucked enough that I'd interpret that wrong? Or did he actually want to cook for me? I shouldn't have said it anyways. I was getting caught up and that is just not acceptable. I'm not the type to be taken in by pretty faces and sexy raspy voices. I'm the type who takes advantage of them and uses them. I had to refocus and get back in the game at that point.

"Hey Sexy!" I was taken out of my thoughts by someone in a blue car slowly down the street. "Can I have a ride?" He winked and laughed at the guy driving.

"Fuck off asshole!" Really? I'm walking down the street not standing at a fucking corner.

"Aw come on baby! Just get in we could have some fun tonight. " They were now stopped a few steps ahead of me.

"You can go fuck yourself." Not only would I never get in the car of a random dude, I'm not stupid, I wasn't allowed to do any jobs without my boss being involved in the process. Apparently he finally got the fucking hint and drove away. My adrenaline always started pumping when I'd have to deal with asshole men. Who the fuck did they think they were?

A girl can have limits you know..just because you have money doesn't mean instant access to my pussy. Then they think that they can just be like your hot, lets fuck. No one ever compliments me unless it's to say I'm hot or some shit involving how good I am at fucking or sucking things. Even when I touch myself for them they compliment me. Those are the types of compliments I get. Those are the ones I'm used to.

He had told me he loved my eyes. That's a first..ever. I'm not used to having eyes someone loves. It freaked me the fuck out.

He fucking guessed my age too! Who does that? I said twenty one because Aiden had told me to lie. He said Tyler usually liked women his age and if I was eightteen he'd back off immediately. Too bad he fucked guessed it. I was so worried he'd read right through my immediate question and make me explain. I don't understand that at all. I was always liked at work because I was so young. Men come in and want young girls not old ones. That's not how it fucking works. Add that to my list of confusion as well.

Tyler really just completely mind fucked me tonight. I was doing everything I could to stay in control and keep the power. I was taking advantage of him and just about to use him for what we both obviously wanted when he stopped me. That whole thing just won't leave my head. Maybe it's because I've never been turned down before..ever. That's another first. I'm not enjoying these firsts. They are fucking stupid.

When I got to my apartment it was around 11:45pm, which was pretty damn early to me. I was usually let out around midnight and then I'd go out drinking or something just to forget all the fucked up people that I'd dealt with that night.

"Mallory!" I heard my name as I was jiggling my key in the lock on my door. It never worked.

"Hey Clara." I didn't even look up. I didn't want to talk right now.

"How was your night? I heard you made out with some private deal with a hot guy and Sara?"

"Yeah it was..great." I went back to jiggling my key. Gossip travels way to fucking fast. "Sorry but I have some shit to do so..I'll talk to you tomorrow Clara?" Usually she was easy to get rid of. Please be easy to get rid of.

"Yes! Of course! Goodnight!" Clara was a beautiful girl, everyone knew that, that's how she became a top girl at the club. She just didn't have a lot of brains to go with her beauty but she could make money. Whatever, she was a nice neighbor in this shithole of a place. I rented here because it was cheap and close to the club. I finally got the key to work and walked into my apartment. It was small, really small. I liked it though. It was mine and that was all I cared about.

I grabbed a drink on my way to my room, I had lost my buzz from the rum after I was kicked out. I wasn't expecting to be home this early. I don't think I have been home at this time of night since two years ago when I started working at the club. Maybe I'd actually get to sleep while it's still dark out tonight.

I stripped down to my tank top and underwear and got into bed. I needed to get refocused. I'd be going into work tomorrow and had to be on my A game. Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights were huge at the club. Probably because these were the nights where drinks were half off and we all cost extra to play with. It was a vicious circle but worked well for my bank account. Since I had done a fabulous job at getting my money for Friday night ..without actually working.. I knew I'd pay for it Saturday and be working the long shifts. As much as my boss liked it when we'd get private jobs, jobs where we leave the club, he liked it when we were there more. More women at the club means more money in his pocket.

**What do you think of Mallory? **

**Reviews are better than having firsts with Tyler. **


	4. Chapter 4 Tyler

**Chapter 4**

I had gone back to the apartment after an hour of walking up and down the streets. It wasn't helping. When I got back Aiden was in his room again and the rest of the apartment was dark. I just went to bed. The next day we didn't even talk. I stayed in my room most of the day and slept. Sunday was approaching too fast.

Now it was Sunday night He was dragging me out to the fucking bars. I'm not in the mood to go out to fucking bar hop. I'm going to go fucking insane. I want to drink myself into oblivion in the privacy of my own fucking apartment. He knows this and obviously doesn't give a shit.

He invited another guy and two girls to go with us. Apparently he had met them when he was out one time? I have no fucking clue. I literally couldn't tell you their names that's how much I have been paying attention. I haven't even said more than a mumbled hello to any of them because I don't give a shit and I don't want to be here.

We went to one place and left after about thirty minutes since it sucked and I wouldn't stop complaining to Aiden that I wanted to leave. He knew I meant I wanted to go home but he somehow convinced me to go to one more place with them. I had only had two whiskeys tonight and I was not feeling it. I wanted to feel it because it was the numb feeling I needed today.

I want to fucking forget. I want to drink myself into a fucking coma and forget everything. Fucking two years ago. It been two fucking years of this shit. How does anyone even put up with me when I can't put up with myself?

"Tyler here take this." Aiden handed me a tall whiskey. Could he really not tell how much I didn't want to be here?

"I'm drinking this and leaving." I took a large sip trying to finish it quicker. One of the girls that had gone with us kept looking at me, it was getting annoying. I wasn't exactly putting off a come and hang all over me vibe but apparently that's what she thought. She walked over and dragged her hand from my shoulder to my belt.

"Hello. Why are you standing all alone?" Wow. Great line. Get the fuck away from me.

"Because I don't like random girls rubbing on me." _Hint hint. _

"Well good thing I'm not random." She traced her hand up and down my chest again and I cringed from the contact. She was short, black hair and not my type. On her way back down to my belt I grabbed her hand.

"I'm not interested. Please get the fuck away from me." Not as smooth as I'd usually be but I'm not in the best fucking mood right now.

"Asshole" She said as she walked away. Did she think that would make me feel bad? It didn't.

I put my empty glass down and walked towards the door, the second I got outside someone grabbed my shoulder.

"What?" I turned around to face Aiden.

"Don't leave yet just stay for a few more drinks dude."  
>"I don't want to be here I'm going home."<p>

"Tyler stop! Fucking man up and deal with today like your brother would want you to. "

"Don't fucking talk about my brother!"

"Why? That's why your fucking depressed and drinking whiskey like water isn't it?"

"You don't know anything." I turned to walk away. My anger was slowly going away and being replaced with guilt and sadness.

"You are so fucked up you won't even let someone help you." I knew he wanted to help me but I wasn't in a place to be helped.

"I'm sorry. I just need to do it on my own." I always ended up taking shit out on him and I knew he meant well.

"Yeah I figured. I'll just see you later." I just nodded my head at him and turned and walked away.

I hadn't even walked five feet when I heard ,"Tyler isnt that your runaway prostitute over there?"

I froze. Mallory? Here?

"Too soon for runaway jokes?...Yeah…Sorry.." My mind went from racing to focused on one thing. Seeing her.

"Where?" Why did I want to see her? She basically ran out of the apartment and she only was there because she was getting paid.

"What?"

"Wheres Mallory?" I was frantically looking around for that long brown hair and green eyes. I didn't give a fuck if she didn't want to see me, I needed to see her. I didn't even know why but just knowing she was this close to me I wanted to talk to her.

"I just saw her over by the Onyx club, that's uh..where she works." Aiden's voice was so quiet for the last part but I heard it. She worked there. I knew where she was. Mallory was right across the street from me.

"Okay, later." I started walking towards the Onyx club. For the first time today my mind wasn't focused on my fucked up issues . It was focused on Mallory. I hoped that she didn't hate me. I looked into the crowd standing out front of the club when I saw her.

She was standing with a group of men and another girl with a cigarette tucked into her mouth. That was oddly hot.

"Mallory!" I yelled her name because it was so loud with all the people and music from inside the club. She looked at me and then looked away. Shit. I walked closer to her and was standing right behind another guy that was basically pushed up against her.

"Mallory could I talk to you?" I wanted to get her away from these men. I didn't like them touching her. She looked at me for a moment , her green eyes just as beautiful as I'd remembered, before shaking her head yes and pushing out of the crowd. I followed her as she walked towards the entrance to the club.

"Look here's the deal." She was only a foot away from me facing me. I wanted to touch her. What was with this girl? She was taking me completely out of my misery just by standing there. " Time with me costs money, if you don't have money you can leave now. If you do then its $250 for a private room for an hour."

She lifted her eyebrow as she waited for my response. She was going to make me pay to talk to her. " Let's see this private room." I didn't even hesitate and I think that surprised her. She paused before grabbing my hand and turning around to pull me inside of the club. I slowly realized that I was spending $250 to talk to her and I didn't even know if she would actually talk back. Whatever. I felt better around her and that was something I wanted to figure out. Why would I feel better around someone I barely knew..who I had turned down..who had been paid to be with me?

"I need your money in advance." We were in the back of the club and stopped outside of a door with the number 8 on it. I pulled out my wallet and handed her the money. I wouldn't be eating this week since all the money I gave her was going to be for food and alcohol.

"Thank you. " She grabbed the money and handed it to a bouncer who stood beside the door. She then grabbed my hand and pulled me into the room. It was a pretty big room. It had a bed in the middle with pillows everywhere. The walls were all painted dark and the spotlight lighting was a dark pink that made the entire room glow. It was incredibly sensual. When the door shut Mallory turned to look at me.

"You wanted to _talk_ to me?" She said talk like it was an insult. She pulled off the coat she was wearing and put it down.

"Yes..well..yeah..I did.." I didn't know why she was wearing a coat until I looked down at her body, now my_ other_ brain was taking over my thoughts. She had on this tiny top that had less material than a bathing suit with triangles barely covering her. Her smooth, flat stomach brought my eyes down to her skirt . Although, it wasn't a skirt but a narrow band of material that covered just enough to tease. Her skin had that translucent glow again and I wanted to touch her so badly.

"Or did you come to pretend you want to fuck and then change your mind?" She sounded annoyed and it pulled me out of my thought immediately.

"Could you just please put that jacket back on?" I couldn't focus on talking to her if I had to look at her while she was barely wearing anything.

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I can't focus on anything but touching you in all kinds of dirty ways with what your wearing right now."

"You're all talk.." She mumbled as she grabbed for her jacket. Hm? Did that mean she wanted me to touch her?

"If you'd let me actually talk to you for a moment I'll show you that I can do more than talk." I wanted to talk to her, I did. But there was a larger part of me that wanted_ her_.

**What do you guys think so far? Tyler is very messed up..obviously. haha I will tell you why but not right away. Mallory is confused about him as you can see but this could be good for her. Another chapter will probably be posted later tonight or at the latest tomorrow night :D Please leave some feedback on how you're feeling about the story so far! Sorry the chapters are short but I have to for editing reasons keep them this way! Let me know if you do want longer chapters though! **


	5. Chapter 5 Tyler

**Chapter 5**

I stared at her green eyes waiting for her response. I was so attracted to this girl I couldn't even stand it. I wanted to kiss her, talk to her, hold her and fuck her all at the same time. She kept eye contact with me as she slowly pulled her jacket back on zipping it up slowly. Thank God.

"Why didn't you tell me you were getting paid to be with me?" That wasn't how I wanted to start off this conversation..

"You didn't know?" She sounded genuinely surprised. We were still standing next to the bed only a foot away from each other.

"No. I figured that out when you left demanding money from Aiden…"

"Oh." We both were looking away from each other.

"I have a lot of fucking issues with myself and my life." I needed to explain. Not because I owed her anything but because I needed to talk to someone and she was the only person that was calming me down today. She was being paid to be with me right now anyways so I might as well take advantage. " I panicked when I was with you because today was getting too close..I..today..its just not a good day for me." So much for telling her.

"Sundays in general or this one in particular?"

"This one in particular." I realized I was whispering.

"Why?" She stepped closer to me and whispered back.

"Because.." This was harder than I thought it would be.

"Tell me…please" I could hear the sympathy in her voice. She wanted to know. I could do this, I could tell her. I could finally tell someone.

"My..he just..hes gone." I had closed my eyes and I jumped at her hand as she cupped my cheek. When I realized it was her I leaned into it, enjoying her warm, smooth skin against my face.

"Who's gone Tyler?" her voice was so sincere and soft. I don't know how she was doing this but it was working.

"Michael." I barely choked his name out.

"Michael.." She repeated. "Was he your dad?"

"No..he was my brother.." I couldn't hear my own voice so I'm wasn't sure she did either until I heard a mumbled "I'm so sorry." She brushed her fingers under my eye and I felt wetness. Fuck. I was crying. She was making me feel better and bringing it all back to me at the same time. So fucking bittersweet.

I turned my head away from her touch and leaned against the wall with my forehead. Really Tyler? Crying in front of her and you haven't even been talking for ten minutes? She's going to kick me out. I know it. I used up my first two strikes rejecting her in the apartment. This would be my third strike, breaking down in front of her with only saying one thing.

I felt tiny arms wrap around me and pull me towards the bed. I followed willingly. She laid me down and sat beside me, still wearing the jacket. I closed my eyes because I was exhausted and the alcohol I had consumed tonight was slowly wearing off.

She didn't say a word as she crawled up to my face and kissed my cheek, then one eye and the other, my other cheek, my nose and finally my chin. They were soft kisses that felt like she was saying sorry. I felt a tug on my shirt as she slowly unbuttoned my black shirt I opened my eyes to look at her and was met with those piercing emerald eyes. They were burning with want as she pushed my shirt back and over each of my shoulders and down my arms and threw it across the room. Next she pulled my t shirt up and over my head while keeping her eyes on mine. I slowly brought my hand up and cupped her face, she gave me a small smile and began to work on my belt. I took my hand and unzipped her jacket with slow determination. When I got it undone I pushed it off one shoulder and then the other. Now she was back in that tiny outfit sitting in front of me undoing my pants. I was so ready for her. I was getting increasingly harder with tug, pull and touch she gave me. I couldn't imagine how I would be able to hold off once she actually touched _me._

I reached around behind her head to pull on the tie holding her top up . It came undone easily and I slid it off of her and onto the floor with my shirt. Through my hooded eyes I looked down her body at her emerald eyes, her pouty lips opened to reveal her heavy breathing and she bit down on her bottom lip releasing it slowly. I felt myself get even harder, if that was possible. Her breasts were exposed and they were exactly as I'd remembered them, absolutely perfect. I put my hands over them and rubbed and squeezed at her nipples. Her eyes closed momentarily before opening to meet mine as she let out heavy breaths. I dragged my hands down her stomach and towards the thin material she had covering her pussy. I wanted it off..now. I pulled at it a little harder than I thought and it ripped down the side revealing a black lace thong.

"Holy fuck" I growled. She went to work on getting my pants off during my momentary pause at her almost naked body. She got them off quickly and threw them to the floor, I was now naked while she still had on that damn sexy thong. She went to pull them off when I stopped her hand. She looked at me with worry in her eyes, did she think I was turning her down again? Could she not see how much I wanted her? Feel how much I wanted her? I was not turning her down. "Not yet, sweetheart." I whispered. Her eyes softened back to their hooded want as I pulled her down to lay beside me.

I took my hand and dragged my fingertips along the edge of her panties, along her hip and across her stomach. She closed her eyes. I slowly took two fingers and traced from her belly button down until I got to the lace. I repeated this two times until she lifted her hips slightly, telling me to go further. I did as she wanted and dragged my fingers down, I could already tell through the lace that she was completely bare. I got down to her wetness and groaned, she was soaked already. I was so turned on I could barely contain myself. I rubbed over the lace against her clit causing friction. She leaned into me grabbing my arm tightly as she spread her legs further apart. She was moaning and pushing her hips against my hand, craving more. I stilled my hand and leaned toward her to kiss her.

"Do you like that? " I whispered in her ear. I wanted to hear her say it.

"Oh my fucking god, yes. Please.." She breathed pulling on my hair as she said it making me shiver.

I needed more of her. I wanted to consume her. Pulling myself down her body I pulled her thong down along with me. When I got to her feet I pulled it off and threw it down with the rest of our clothes. I looked up at her and saw those eyes looking back at me. I put my hands on her knees and spread her legs apart. I dragged my nose up to her knee and then down her inner thigh, stopping right before her center, her breathing hitched. I repeated this on the other side and then kissed right below her belly button. She was so wet I could tell just by looking at her, I loved that I was turning her on so much. I had my face a few inches from her center as I took my fingers and dragged them down feeling at her wetness. I wanted to taste her, I bet she was sweet.

I slid one finger in and began pumping it in and out before adding another she was so hot and wet. In and out, In and out, she was so wet, and so tight. I don't think I expected her to be so tight but I loved it. She moaned every time I pushed back inside of her, motivating me to keep going. I loved the sounds she was making . I never wanted her to stop. I added another finger and as I pumped my fingers back inside her I leaned forward and flicked my tongue at her clit, she tasted so sweet. She instantly bucked her hips up towards my mouth and moaned so loud. I was so hard it was beginning to hurt but I wanted to eat her out so badly. I kept my mouth on her pussy and began sucking at her clit. I took my free hand and began tugging at her nipples as I licked and sucked. This made her crazy, her moans got louder and longer and I could feel her tighten around my fingers. I swirled my tongue around and around hitting every sensitive area all while keeping my fingers consistently pushing in and out. I dragged my tongue up and down her slit collecting all her juices. I bit down on her clit while flicking my tongue against it making her shake beneath me. Swiftly, I pulled my fingers out and shoved my tongue inside of her. I wanted to feel her around me and taste her arousal. I wanted to know every inch of her. I kept my fingers pinching her clit as my tongue slid around inside of her. Switching back I pushed my fingers inside her slick pussy and scraped my teeth along her clit, softly biting down. I looked up at her and she was holding the blankets around us while her eyes were squeezed tight and her mouth open and panting. I wanted to make her cum, now. I curled my fingers inside of her and quickened the pace all while alternating between biting and sucking on her clit. I could feel her walls tighten around my fingers as I pushed her over the edge. She came undone on my fingers while I continued to push inside her and suck hard. "Fucckkkkkkk! That feels so fucking good! Oh my god, Tyler! Aaahhh." Her words made me go faster keeping her pulsing against my fingers squeezing hard. I could not have been happier. I was doing this to her. I was making her cum so hard she screamed.

When she finally came down from her orgasm I pulled my fingers out and licked from her center up towards her belly button before coming up to kiss each of her nipples. Her breathing was still heavy and her eyes hadn't opened yet. " Oh my god." She whispered. "I've never..that..wow..shit.." She couldn't form a sentence and that boosted my ego incredibly. I smiled down at her as I lay sideways against her body. She slowly opened her eyes and tilted her head towards me.

" You..are fucking..amazing at that."

"Thank you sweetheart." I was now calling her sweetheart. Don't ask me why, but it felt right.

"That never..happens..ever.." What was she talking about?

"What doesn't happen?" She took a deep breath and blinked slowly.

"No one ever does shit like that to me.. I'm always doing things for them. You didn't have to do that you know."  
>"I wanted to." I answered confidently. .."Really fucking badly actually." …And honestly.<p>

Her eyes got this look in them. It looked like happiness and complete fear. How was that possible?

"I take back my comment about you pretending to want me.."

"I definitely want you. Trust me." I gestured down towards my incredibly hard dick. I loved eating her out but it made me want her so badly that I was now in pain.

"Well, I could help you with that if you'd like.." She smiled at me. I loved her smile. It made her look so innocent and sexy. She pushed me onto my back and moved herself on top of me right below where I was throbbing for her. Was she really going to give me head? I guess I did just eat her out. Even thinking about her mouth on me was enough to make me cum. Her tongue peeked out of her mouth to wet her lips before biting down on the bottom one.

"Let me make you feel good now" She lowered her mouth as her hands wrapped around my dick. She began slowly pumping me keeping her hands together. I groaned at her touch, it was intoxicating. I closed my eyes to just feel her hands on me. The second I did I felt something hot and wet circle the tip. I opened my eyes to see her tongue swirling around my dick and her eyes focused on mine. Shit this was insanely hot. I was not going to last long.

She opened her mouth and took me inside of her. It was so hot and wet in her mouth that it made me think about what it would be like to be inside of her pussy. Fuck, I needed to stop thinking like that or I was going to cum in her mouth right now. I couldn't be that guy.

She sucked hard on my dick and she stroked me with her other hand. She used her tounge to swirl around the tip. I was groaning and grabbing at pillows around me. She was fucking good at this. Her mouth began to bob up and down against my dick sucking and tugging at me, while her hand bounced up and down on the bottom of my shaft.

"Fuck..Mallory..I'm going..so..now.." I tried to warn her, I didn't want her to think she had to swallow. At this point I could really give a fuck what she did it just felt so fucking good, but when I said this she sucked even more on me making me cum hard into her mouth. I yelled her name along with low groans as I emptied myself. She didn't stop until I had nothing left in me and I was a panting mess like she had just been.

"You're fucking amazing. Did you know that?" I didn't want to open my eyes so I kept them shut and pulled her waist up towards me.

"I take it you enjoyed that?"

"Fucking right I did." She laid on top of me. I could feel her warmth against my dick, I couldn't wait to be inside of her. Not tonight though, I didn't want her to think I had come back to talk for two minutes and then just hook up. I still had things I wanted to talk to her about. She made me feel better, she saw me cry, she helped me get out of the dark hole I had myself in today. I suppose I have been in a dark hole since two years ago. Getting away from that, even for a little, I needed it. I needed her.

**Tyler and Mallory are getting hot and heavy! I wouldn't disappoint you guys and cock block again! That would be mean..plus they obviously want each other! What did you guys think of this chapter? Do you think things will be smooth sailing from now on? Will Tyler be able to tell Mallory what happened? What do you think Mallory thinks of the situation now?** **Please let me know! REVIEW! I want your feedback :) **


	6. Chapter 6 Mallory

Chapter 6

Laying against his chest I could hear his heartbeat. It was still going so fast. This whole _thing_ tonight was new. I was always giving blow jobs or fucking or whatever the guy wanted… except anal, I had my limits. They never wanted to make _me_ happy though. It was great if I could fucking get off on whatever they did, like an added perk I guess. It happened pretty rarely though. Most of the time, I'd just fake it to get my money and get them the fuck out.

Tyler was proving me wrong again, and I enjoyed it way too fucking much. I expected his asshole self to come in and tease me to leave five seconds later but he kept his promises. Fuck, he exceeded his promises. I've never been so turned on in my life. Being attracted to him was one thing, having his head between my legs was putting attraction on a new level. I just had the most intense orgasm I've ever experienced and I was already ready for round two.

I heard a knock at the door and hopped off Tyler, had it really been an hour? I threw on my thong and I opened the door not bothering to put any more clothes back on, not like I wore them a lot here anyways.

"Yeah?" It was my boss.

"Unless your client wants to pay another two fifty he'll need to leave. Now." He walked away and I just the door.

"Who was that?" Tyler was standing up and pulling his boxers back on.

"Uh..my boss.." Do I ask him to pay again? I don't know what to do in this situation..Ive never been in this situation. " Would you want to uh..hang out ?" That was awkward.

"Is that not what were doing?" He smiled and put on his pants and shirt. I was still standing there in my thong so I grabbed his button down and threw it on.

"No we are..you just happened to have paid to do so.." He eyed his shirt as I buttoned it on myself, I didn't feel like tying my top back on me. "I was thinking we could continue to hang out but somewhere you don't have to pay?" Fuck me. What was I doing? Did I really just ask him to hang out with me? I mean..I wanted to hang out with him right? Yeah, I definitely did. Shit, Did I even remember _how___ to just hang out with a guy?

"Uhh.." Fuck! He was going to turn me down again wasn't he? He ran his long fingers through his hair before answering. "Yeah, definitely. Where do you want to go?"

"My place is real close." I paused to look at his reaction, he looked..excited? "I don't have a roommate either so.." Wow. I pretty much just said _I want you, again____. _ In the lamest way possible. Fucking awesome.

"Okay, that's cool. Can we just leave now?"

"Yeah." I grabbed his hand and led him out of the room and out of the club. It scared me because half of me was saying that I held his hand to make sure he didn't lose me in the crowd or get lost but the other half just liked touching him too much.

When we got outside the club and began to walk toward my apartment I dropped his hand. The side of me that was freaked the fuck out was winning. We walked in silence most of the way. When we got to my door I was praying that my key wouldn't give me a hard time as I slid it in the keyhole. Of course it still fucking did.

"Need some help?" Tyler moved around me and grabbed the key out of my hand and in one try had my door open. "Mine does the same thing sometimes.."

"Right." I walked past him and into my apartment feeling slightly exposed. People never came to my apartment so this was another first. Tyler and his fucking firsts with me. "It's nothing special..I get it for cheap and its close to the club so yeah..it works."

"I like it." He sat down on the couch smiling at me.

"What?"

"What what?" His smile got bigger.

"Why are you just..smiling at me?" I could hear the annoyance in my voice but he continued to smile. I had to admit I loved the way his eyes looked when he smiled. They were so happy and innocent. And he looked fucking sexy as hell.

"Because you're getting all nervous about me being here." Fuck. He could tell? I just didn't have people over. Ever. Why did I invite him again?

"I am not."

"Yeah, you are. Its fine, I can leave if you want me to." I didn't want him to. I don't know why I didn't want him to but at this point in time I didn't. I didn't say anything and I think he figured out that I wasn't going to because he settled into the couch and patted the cushion beside him.

I went and sat down beside him, still only in his shirt my skirt and thong.

"My..my dad..died." Where the fuck did that come from? Why did I say that?

"I'm really sorry." His voice was so low and sympathetic it almost made me sick.

"It was a long time ago." Im fucking stupid. He doesn't give a shit. Just because he was crying at the club telling me his secrets didn't mean I needed to go spilling all of mine.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Fuck. He's so understanding about everything. I'm on an emotional fucking rollercoaster right now. People don't _care_ about me. I don't know how to handle this. What do I do here? I suppose I should just..go with it? It couldn't hurt, right?

"He died of heart problems. I was like eight." Worst year of my life. " It fucking sucked."

"I bet, I can't imagine that would have been easy to deal with."

"It wasn't… I loved him." I hadn't said that outloud since he died. " _He _actually cared about me."

"Your mom wasn't..didn't.." He didn't know how to ask if she was a total fuck up. She was.

"Yeah well my mom wasn't the best at dealing with it either..always needing her _fucking drugs_." I hated my mom. I was staring off at the wall in my living room completely caught up in my thoughts. "She needed to be numb all the damn time. Forgot she had a fucking daughter.. until she needed me to help her get more money." I whispered it to myself, forgetting that Tyler was inches away.

"What happened?" He seemed cautious in his question knowing that I was at a breaking point. I hadn't talked about this with anyone before and here I was giving my life story up for him to judge.

"She fucking used me to get money, fucking welfare or some shit.. so she could buy drugs. I was nothing to her. I was just there for her disposal." I swore when I left her I'd never go back. I never will. I could feel my eyes getting watery and I wiped my hand across my face streaking my hand with black.

His lips were immediately on mine, soft and sweet. I wanted more. I deepened the kiss pushing my tongue against his lips until he let me inside. The kiss became rough and needy. "I'm so sorry sweetheart" He mumbled against my mouth, he kept calling me that. I didn't know how I felt about it but the sensation of his lips on mine made my mind go blank. His mouth consumed mine, taking over completely. Our tongues danced back and forth into each other's mouths. I wound my fingers into his hair tugging and pulling with each kiss. He moaned into my mouth as I pulled myself on top of him, straddling his lap. I could feel his erection beneath me. Fuck, I was already wet.

I moved against him grinding my hips back and forth as we kissed. My hands were in his hair while his were on my ass pushing and pulling me back and forth. I could feel myself dripping through my thong as I pushed my body closer to his.

"Can we go to your room?" He whispered in my ear as he turned picked us up.

"Yes.. that door" I pointed and sucked on his neck as he walked us to my bed. He laid down beside me and immediately put his fingers over my thong dragging up and down . " You're fucking soaked." He growled at me. Fuck. He grabbed my thong and skirt and yanked them down fast. Then he took three of those long fingers and immediately trust them inside of me while he pushed his thumb against my clit.

"Oh my fucking god" That felt so good. He pushed in and out hitting so many different spots. I couldn't stop moaning, it was almost embarrassing. Some guys at the club liked it when I was loud but that was fake. I wasn't getting paid to cum right now, this was real and I was fucking loud.

I could feel his erection pushing against my leg, I wanted to make him feel good too. I reached down and unzipped his pants pulling him out and stroking the head.

His breath hitched as I touched the sensitive spots. I was having trouble concentrating because his hand was still between my thighs.. in and out..in and out. I was so wet and he had his thumb circling my clit and putting just enough pressure. I couldn't keep my eyes open they kept drifting close as I was wrapped in sensations. I wrapped my hand around him firmly, but gently, moving my fist up and down his shaft in a slow, steady motion. I would increase my tempo as he did on me.

He pulled his fingers back, hitting _that_ spot. I could feel my muscles tighten as I fell over the edge. I felt dizzy and my body convulsed against his hands. I couldn't focus on anything. I let go of him and pulled on his hair my moaning got louder with every move of his fingers inside me. He pushed his mouth against mine and muffled my sounds as I came down from my orgasm.

When I finally had control of my body again I put both hands around his dick, one above the other, and moved my hands up and down. He was big. I wanted him inside of me so badly. He had said at the club he wanted to wait. Whatever the fuck that meant. I moved my hand on top around the head massaging as the other pumped up and down. I was getting wet again from getting him off.

"Fuck Mallory" He was so close. I bent down and put my mouth over him and sucked, hard. "Shit!" He moaned and came almost immediately. Fucking right. We laid there for a few minutes, our ragged breathing the only sound, neither of us saying anything.

I must have fallen asleep pretty damn fast last night because I woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon. The rush of last night poured back into my head. What have I done? I was panicking. I couldn't do this. I'm not the type to have..boyfriends? Was that was this was? Didn't boyfriends listen to your problems, comfort you, make you have fucking awesome orgasms, stay with you, cook for you? Fuck. He was doing all these things. I cant..no..he needs to leave. Now.

I walked into the kitchen and his back was to me as he cooked.

" I need you to leave." He turned around and looked at me his face registering confusion and hurt.

"Please. Just get out." Don't make this fucking hard Tyler, please. My voice was calm and steady but inside I was shaking. I needed to do this.

**Uh oh. Mallory isn't happy. Tylers confused. What do you guys think of this chapter? Do you think Mallory has the right to freak out? Let me know in the reviews please :D Sorry it took so long to update this time but I hope you enjoyed this chapter anyways!**


	7. Chapter 7 Tyler Mallory

**Chapter 7 **

TYLER

What did I do?

I'm so confused.

She's kicking me out of her apartment after …everything? Did I miss something here? Let me think..maybe I did something? I got a private room at the club. I broke down in front of her. We hooked up hardcore at the club. She asked me to come back to her apartment. I said yes. We came back here and she opened up to me. We hooked up yet again. We fell asleep in her bed. I woke up and decided to cook breakfast. Now I'm getting kicked out. Fuck I'm confused.

"What?" I didn't know what to say. The words barely came out.

"Tyler stop fucking acting stupid. Just get out." She looked so determined and yet it faltered, she looked down before whispering "please."

I felt numb. She didn't fucking care about me. I kept doing this. I kept thinking she liked me. She may _want_ me but that was it. Fuck.

I grabbed my keys walked out not even bothering to look back at her. It would just make me want to turn around and at this point I didn't need to fuck this up further. I threw the door closed as I focused on the floor. I was so fucking pissed at myself. I kept letting her in, letting her get to me. Why did I keep doing that. Oh right because I feel fucking fantastic when I'm with her. Seriously. She makes everything better. I actually slept through the night last night. No nightmares. That doesn't fucking happen..ever.

I mean I'd never been this close to someone before, not really. I didn't even know her that well and I felt like she knew me better than Aiden and my parents. I suppose that's kind of sad but keeping people out works well for me. I can suffer alone and they can mind their own business.

I can't do that with her. Whenever I'm in the same room as her I feel so damn _happy.___Everything is just..good. I want to tell her everything about me. I end up getting tongue tied because I don't want her running away once she knows the truth. Yeah, she knows my brother died but she doesn't know how or why or any of the fucking details. As much as I want to tell her all of them, god only knows why I do, she's going to hate me. I know it. _I hate me._

I ended up walking back to my apartment without even realizing that's what I was doing until I was halfway there. It's not a short walk but I couldn't function enough to get a cab.

MALLORY

He can't be here. He needs to leave. Get out Tyler. Come on. Don't make this harder than it is. I don't want to kick you out. Really, I don't. Part of me wants you to stay, I swear it does. No. Fuck, get some balls Mallory. He needs to get the fuck out. Now.

"Tyler stop fucking acting stupid. Just get out." Shit this is so much harder than I wanted it to be. I couldn't stop myself from mumbling, "please". Please do this Tyler. I won't be able to say it again so just do it before I make a bigger fool of myself by having you stay. You can't stay.

He didn't fight me. He didn't tell me I'm the biggest idiot in the world. He didn't yell, scream or _say anything_. He just _left._ He left me. He didn't even look back as he walked out the door slamming it shut. Why did he leave? Oh that's right because I just told him to get out.

Isnt that what I wanted though? I wanted him to leave. I'm fucking tweaking out.

I don't do boyfriends.

I work as a fucking prostitute for god's sake. I dance on poles and in cages. I strip for money. I fuck for money. I suck dicks for money. I don't have a _boyfriend._ It wouldn't work.

_Hey I'm going to fuck some other men tonight so see you later! _

_Oh sorry my lips are so chapped I blew like five guys tonight._

Fuck no. Tyler has to know that this couldn't work. He wouldn't be able to handle me or my job. I know it. Boyfriends aren't for girls like me. I'm not allowed to be treated nicely by a man. I'm not allowed to have someone care about me. No one wants to be with me unless they are paying for me. Tyler staying over was a fluke..we were tired..we fell asleep. Its fucking possible you know to just fall asleep without realizing it, especially after hooking up. I wouldn't have charged him anyways because he had already paid for a private room..yeah..exactly.

Boyfriends weren't for me. I couldn't see him again. I needed to stay away. Something about him kept pulling me in, making me think that I could tell him anything. I did tell him things..fuck. I told him a lot. I told him things I don't talk about. Fuck Fuck Fuck. Why am I so fucking stupid. I need to shut my fucking mouth and stay away from him.

I walked over to the stove and checked out what he had cooked. There was an omelet, bacon and toast all perfectly sitting there. I stabbed a fork into the omelet and took a bite and it was fucking delicious.

I threw it all out.

I couldn't focus on anything. I wished I didn't have the day off today because truthfully I could use the distraction. I went and sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. It was on the cooking channel, I switched it. I didn't even care what I was watching really..just not the cooking channel. I stared off into nothing and thoughts kept swirling around my head. Why did I ever think it was a good idea to hang out with Tyler again? Money or not I knew it wouldn't turn out well. I'm such an idiot. I'm really starting to fucking hate myself. I'm an emotional basket case and it fucking sucks.

I heard knocking on the door and sat down into the couch. I hoped that it wasn't Tyler. Please don't be Tyler.

I hesitated before getting up and answering the door. Why not? What else could go wrong?

"Mallory!" Clara..shit. I would've rather seen Tyler at this point. "How are you? I'm super good! I've been having the best day ever!" Day? How long had it even been since he left? "One of the clients down at the club requested me to go to his house for some party or whatever! I'm going to get paid like two thousand dollars for like three hours!" I. Don't. Give. A . Fuck.

"Clara this is a really bad time, I'm sorry. Good for you and all but.." I tried shutting the door- she held it open. Fuck.

"What happened?" Way to peppy to be concerned.

"Nothing I just need to be alone right now..so.." Tried to shut It again..she wouldn't move.

"Does it have to do with that guy that you brought home last night? I saw him leaving this morning and he looked so out of it! Although he's still quite beautiful if I do say so myself! I almost invited him in my—" I literally slammed the door in her face.

Why am I so pissed off? What the fuck.

I sat down on the couch again, trying to get my mind off of..everything. It wasn't working. Instead my brain was going over my entire night with Tyler and then the fucking lovely conversation with Clara.

I don't even know how long I had been sitting there when I heard knocking at the door again. Not fucking answering. Clara can go fuck herself before I get up and listen to her fucking talk again.

Wait. That wasn't her usual girly I'm super annoying knock..

Fuck it I'll just go check.

TYLER

Walking back to my apartment was a total blur. I couldn't tell you If it was sunny, cloudy, rainy, cold, hot anything. I was still numb to the world.

Mallory is the one person on this earth who makes me feel alive and free.

Mallory is the one person on this earth who can crush me and kill me in an instant.

I can't lose her.

There is no way that I can just walk away from someone like her. This weekend is usually the worst in my life and she just popped in and took the thunderstorms and turned them into sun. I feel..happy. Well at least when I'm with her and she's not kicking me out of her apartment.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Aiden was in the kitchen staring at me like I had ten heads. I didn't realize I was standing in the middle of our living room staring into space and I wasn't sure how long I'd been there.

"Uh..?"

"Where did you go last night?" He knew..he had to know.

"I..uh.." I pulled my fingers through my hair trying to get the fog out of my brain. "I was with..Mal—her." I couldn't even say her name. I felt empty.

"I knew you were going to do something stupid..what happened?" He sat down in the living room and I decided that meant I probably should as well. I took a seat on the couch and put my elbows on my knees letting my head fall in my hands.

"I went to the club..we..yeah..and then we went to her apartment..it was great..awesome..this morning she kicked me out." Not going into detail with him. It seriously wasn't even worth it.

"Well then just forget about her I mean if its going to be that fucking complicated to hook up with a prostitute I'll find you someone new." My head snapped up at this last comment. He was dead serious…

"I don't want someone new!" I yelled and walked out the door slamming it behind me. It's like someone cleared the fog and I could finally see straight.

I don't want someone new. I don't want anyone but her. I need to get her. I need to tell her that she can't keep doing this to me. I either need her to hate me or love me but nothing in between. I cant handle the in between. We can't be just friends, that wont work. I hate to be an all or nothing person but there really is no other way for this to happen. I must have subconsciously already figured this out because I realized I was walking back to her apartment. She lived only about a twenty minute walk from me and it gave me time to think about what I would say. I needed her to know that I would be there for her no matter what. I wanted us to work. I wanted everything..with her. I wasn't going to leave without her this time. She could yell, scream, hit me, whatever she wanted but I wasn't leaving until we had an actual conversation. We could do this. We could. I know we could. I know she must feel something for me or she wouldn't have opened up to me last night. I wouldn't have been invited back to her apartment if she didn't remotely like me.. I had to keep believing that I had a chance because inside I knew I did.

We definitely would have complications but I didn't want to think about those..I wanted her. I wanted to know she was mine and that we could work this out somehow.

I had to think of something good to tell her to make her want me..to make her want to keep me. I needed her and I needed her to need me.

I got to her door and just stood outside of it. I could hear the tv on inside and I hoped that she was in there. What would I say though? I hadn't thought of anything good on the way here..it went too quick.

Fuck it. I knocked.

I waited.

Shit. What if shes not home..

What if she knows its me and wont answer..

I counted to ten before I heard the lock click and the door knob turn.

"Please don't shut the door." It was all I could think to say.

**This is getting interesting huh? Tyler Is figuring out what he wants but will that be what Mallory wants? Is that what you guys want? Could her being a prostitute affect them? What do you think? PLEASE REVIEW! LEAVE FEEDBACK! 3 Thank you so all my amazing readers for being so supportive and kick ass ;)**


	8. Chapter 8 Tyler

**Chapter 8**

"What do you want?" She was mad. Fuck. Should I even be here? She wouldn't want to talk to me. She wouldn't understand that I need her. How much I'm realizing that I need her. It'll just scare her away. Fuck this, I'm not about to lose her. I'll do whatever I can to keep her with me. She's like a drug. I just want more and more of her every time I'm with her. I still hadn't said anything and she was staring at me like I had ten heads.

"Uh.." Nice Tyler. Great choice of words. "Can I come in?"

"No." She went to shut the door and I shoved my foot in the door to stop it.

"Mallory are you fucking kidding me? Let me in." I'm _not_ about to lose this girl over nothing.

"You're a persistent asshole aren't you? I told you to leave.." She was pushing against the door.

"Yeah and that was hours ago.." I couldn't help but say what was on my mind "And I wished I never left." I looked down at the floor. I still had my foot in the door and was halfway in her apartment while she stood against it pushing to get me to leave. I wasn't leaving. I felt her pushing on the door resist as I looked up at her. "I don't want to leave you."

"You can't say that" She whispered and shook her head almost as if she was saying it to herself instead of me. I wanted to open the door and take her in my arms but instead I was trying to make sure she didn't shut the door in my face.

"Why?"

"Don't care about me... okay? Don't. You cant." I could feel the wall she was putting between us. It's like she was trying to convince herself that I needed to leave.

"Stop doing that shit." She had her head turned away from me as she leaned against the door.

"What?" She wouldn't even look at me.

"Pushing me away like I'm some asshole you fucked one night" Her head snapped up and she glared at me, I mean we hadn't even fucked but she knew what I meant. Did not mean to say that. Shit. Shes going to kick me out now or at least shut the door in my face

"You are some asshole but we haven't fucked..we just hook up and then you end up " She pushed against the door again "leaving my fucking apartment."

"Yes because you" I pushed back against the door with my hands "fucking told me to." I'm beyond confused…is she mad I left? "Do you really think that I wanted to leave? I only left because you seemed like you wanted me out more than anything in the world"

"I did." She almost whispered this and it made my mind race. She did..as in..that's the past? And she wants me to stay now? Fucking help me out here Mallory.

"And what do you want now?"

"I don't fucking know but I do know you need to stay away from me. I can't be your girlfriend, we can't do that shit. I don't do that shit." Fuck. This isn't going the way I had intended. " You couldn't even fucking handle my job anyways. I fuck people for money Tyler. I suck men's dicks and fuck them. All the time. You can't tell me you'd be okay with your _girlfriend_ doing that?" I don't care about that shit right now. As much as it bothers me to think about her doing that shit I don't want to lose her.

"I just can't be away from you. As fucking lame as that sounds, I can't. I don't even think if I explained it to you that you'd understand it because I don't even understand it." I'm going to just have to say what I'm thinking or there is a large chance I am going to lose her right here and now.

"So what? What are you looking for Tyler?"

"I'm looking for you to stop pushing me away every fucking chance you get. That'd be a great start."

"I don't push you away."

"Yes you do. I mean let's just ..hang out..do shit? I don't know.." Great now I'm back to awkward and nervous.

"I really don't think this is a good idea. I don't do this Tyler, I don't date. I don't have relationships."

"Fuck Mallory neither do I, I'm confused as fuck as to why I can't seem to leave you alone but I can't."

"So you want to date me?" Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, I do ." I'm not about to back out now I might as well just go all in and hope she doesn't leave me.

"Fine. You know what .. you win. " She backed up and I pushed the door open and shut it behind me. " We can try this but don't fucking expect me to feel bad for you when this shit doesn't work and you go running for the hills because you can't stand to watch me go off every night to fuck someone. " I feel like every time I take one step forward in getting to know her I take two steps back.

"What do you want from me Mallory?" This pushing me away thing had to have another meaning. " I'm here..I'm not leaving.. What do you want?"

"I…don't know. Whatever.." She had her eyes closed and was pulling at her hair. I looked at her and noticed she was wearing short and a t shirt that was so baggy on her small figure. She still looked beautiful.

"I'm not going to leave you.. I'm not going anywhere." I whispered and I knew she understood the meaning of my words. Her eyes shut tightly and she dropped down to the floor. I dropped down on my knees to be at her level.

"You're going to get hurt, Tyler." She was sitting on the floor with her legs crossed, hands still intertwined in her hair. "I'm not saying that I'm not interested in whatever it is the fuck you think you're trying to do…but this can't turn out well. We're completely different people this wont work. "

"Why not?" It could. I know it could work. " We're not completely different and I think you're underestimating how fucked up I really am." I was trying to make light of the situation but I'm not sure it worked. All she did was shake her head.

I was all in at this point. There was no backing out. If she was willing to give me a chance and let this play out how it may then I was going to take it for all its worth. I moved to sit beside her and put my arms around her pulling her towards me. I missed this, holding her.

"I don't mean to keep pushing you away you know." She mumbled into my chest. "I'm not used to having anyone stick around for more than sex… I'm fucking tweaked out by you"

"I'm going to take that as a compliment." So she knew I cared about her and she didn't like it. She probably thought that it was an ulterior motive or some shit like that. It wasn't. I really liked her, I could see myself liking her more if she'd let me in.

"Does this mean I'm like your..your like fucking girlfriend or whatever?" She sounded scared.

"Uh not if you don't want to be? I was thinking we could take it slow..considering.." _Considering you're a prostitute and I'm more fucked up than you realize._ Even though I was trying to lighten the mood before..it really is true.

"Whatever." Well at least she didn't say no. We sat there for a while and she let me hold her. I enjoyed it far too much. She never let me to anything that was too intimate. This made things like holding hands and cuddling out of the picture. I was going to enjoy this while it lasted.

My mind began to race through the events of the weekend when I realized what today was.

Fuck. I have to go to dinner with my parents tonight. We always go around the anniversary of his death..depending on everyones _schedules_. Fuck who am I kidding it all depends on my parents schedules I never do anything but drink myself into oblivion on the anniversary. Truthfully I'm not even sure why I still go to the dinners. Maybe its because I think it might still mean something to Michael that I still talk to our parents..once in a while.

"Fuck." I said this out loud and did not realize that until Mallory looked up confused. "I have this..dinner? With my parents in a couple hours.."

"What kind of dinner?"

"It's sort of an anniversary dinner..it usually sucks so fucking much because my parents are fucking assholes."

"I bet they aren't that bad." She obviously didn't know my parents.

"Yeah? Then you go and I'll see you later." I was kidding around because I knew she wouldn't want to be moving that fast in this relationship or whatever we were. Plus my parents aren't people you choose to hang out with.

"I could go with you?"I froze. She seemed so unsure of herself and I didn't know what to make of that. She wanted to go to dinner with me and my parents? For the anniversary of my brothers death? No baby steps in this relationship.

"Seriously?"

"I mean..yeah..sure.." She seemed incredibly unsure but I felt like she did want to go with me .

"You'd really do that for me?" I couldn't believe it but part of me was getting way too excited about this. I wanted her by my side all night. I didn't want to leave. This way we'd have to see my parents but I could take her away early. I would protect her from them and their fucking opinions. If I didn't then there was a good chance that I'd never see her again. I'd have to lie about her job. My parents were horrible people and if they figured out that she was a prostitute things would get ugly.

"Yes" She reached her hand up and cupped my cheek and kissed me on the lips. That was new and I wanted it to happen again and again. I kissed her back harder pulling her closer to me. I needed that more than she realized.

Now we had to prepare for the dinner that could scare her away forever.


	9. Chapter 9 Mallory Tyler

**Chapter 9**

Mallory

"So this dinner..where are we even going?" What the fuck did I get myself into? I mean were practically dating and I'm going to dinner with his family. How did I just go from being single,a dancer and prostitute to having a fucking boyfriend?

This can't end well. I don't see how he can be so positive. I know he won't be able to handle my lifestyle. I'm single for a fucking reason. I mean it's not like I've been looking for someone. Though, I suppose if I have to be with someone he's a great person to be with.. he's sweet, caring, supportive, easy to talk to, incredibly fucking hot and hooking up with him is absolutely fucking insanely good. Those are all qualities I suppose people look for in a boyfriend. Right? I don't fucking know.

" It's at some place downtown..its kind of dressy?" He looked scared to tell me that. Great. That meant I needed to wear something appropriate or whatever. Fuck that. I don't even know if I own anything that's not either extremely casual like my current clothing choice of shorts and a t-shirt or my club clothes. I'm going to go with the fact that club clothes probably aren't going to be proper attire.

"Right. I'll just go..search for something.." I walked into my room and towards my closet. I'll find something _nice___ and he can deal. He said his parents were assholes but I doubt it. They at least want to have dinner with him. My mom couldn't give a fuck about me. I haven't heard from her in years and I don't want to because that would mean she found me and that would mean she needs something. Usually money. I work hard for my money and she can't fucking have any. She wasn't even fucking surprised when she found out that I was a fucking prostitute. Probably because she was always trying to whore me out to men when I was younger for drug money. I fucking hate her.

I can't even fucking find anything to wear. This sucks. I have some clothes I used to wear to visit the cemetery. Those are going to have to do because it's all I have..they have horrible memories of me being alone and without my dad.. but if it's the only thing I have. It's going to have to fucking work.

I ended up finding some navy blue dress that was incredibly fucking conservative with a neckline to my collarbone and hemline down to my knees. Luckily it was sleeveless so I didn't feel like to much of a fucking tool. I grabbed a white sweater too, just in case it was one of those places..

I didn't put any make up on and pulled a brush through my hair. I ended up leaving it down because it wasn't cooperating and I was seriously beginning to freak the fuck out.

What was I doing?

"Mallory?" Tyler was right outside my bathroom door.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? You've been in there for a while.." Shit. How long had I been in here? It could have been five minutes or an hour and I wouldn't know..I've been too stuck in my head.

"Yeah I'm fine..just.." I opened the door to let him in.

"Holy fuck" I whispered to myself, he looked hot as fuck. He had on a black suit with a white shirt underneath, no tie. It was formal and casual at the same time. His hair looked as though he had just been thoroughly fucked. I wanted to rip that suit off of him and fuck him so badly.

"You look beautiful." he said as he stepped forward and tucked my hair behind one ear.

"You look fucking sexy." I couldn't help it..he did. He should know I'm going to want to be on him all night. His laugh that followed was nervous and made me remember how nervous I already was.

"Thank you sweetheart. " He kissed my forehead and backed up. I wasn't used to that shit and he knew it. I think he realized after he did it that I might freak out by the look on his face. I was surprised that it actually comforted me instead of making things worse..I'm fucking confused. "Are you..uh..ready?"

"Sure" _Actually I think I may throw up._

We grabbed a cab to a restaurant downtown that seemed way to fucking formal for anyone but here we are. Tyler seemed comfortable in this situation which made me wonder if he was actually one of those rich kids who didn't pay for anything? He did pay for a room with me and that's not fucking cheap but he also did say he worked at a restaurant..so maybe not? We got out of the cab and stood a few businesses away from the restaurant.

"I'm really sorry about anything my parents say to you tonight. They aren't nice people. They never really have been..and it all got..worse..after Michael died." He seemed so sad but I didn't know how to comfort him. I wondered if he was just exaggerating to prepare me for the worst. I doubt anyone could be as bad of a parent as my mom.

"It's okay Tyler I'll be fine. We're not going to tell them I'm a prostitute I'm guessing.." I'm not stupid..people don't want their son dating a prostitute. They don't want to be associated with me unless they're looking for some ass, then I'm their best friend. With the incredible exception of Tyler apparently. I'm guessing that his parents aren't going to be looking for some ass so I'm going to need a fake job.

"Yeah I'm sorry. " God, hes so stressed out and nervous I can feel it in everything he does.

"Tyler, it's fine. Stop worrying so fucking much. I obviously know I can't go up to your mom and be like '_Hi I suck dicks and fuck men for money! Nice to meet you!' _ I'm not stupid."

"I know you're not stupid, I just feel bad that's all.. I don't like that you have to hide parts of yourself from them." There's that considerate, supportive kind of adorable side coming through that I never know what the fuck to do with. I'll just ignore it because I'm already in an uncomfortable situation that I have no clue what to do in..

"I'll just say I'm a dancer..I mean that's like..kind of true?" I do dance. It just happens to be on tables, laps, poles, cages and any other place I fucking feel like it.

"Yeah that'll work..I mean they probably wont talk much to you anyways.." He drifted off into thought as he finished his sentence. He had his hand wrapped around my back and began to pull me towards the restaurant. This is it. I can't fucking believe I'm doing this right now.

We walked in and were immediately brought to a table in the corner where we would wait for his parents. I was so fidgety and I couldn't stop. I pulled at my hair, bit my nails, twisted my ring around my finger and did anything but look at Tyler. It was like having a mini panic attack. Today was too much for me. It was weighing down on me, I don't know how long I could handle this.

"Mallory, calm down. I'm sorry I've been scaring you with how bad they are..you're going to be fine okay? " He obviously noticed my panic attack, he grabbed my hand and rubbed his thumb back and forth against my palm. "Breathe sweetheart. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. Don't worry." I took some deep breaths and focused on his hand on mine. It was oddly comforting, I usually didn't find intimate things such as kisses, hand holding or any of that to be nice. I hated it to tell you the truth because the only person who had ever been caring like that to me had been my dad…

Fuck I was getting in deep with Tyler I could already tell. I mean his voice was intoxicating. It was deep and sensual and raspy, I just wanted him to keep talking.

"Thank you" I opened my eyes and refocused. I do like him. I know I do. I need to focus on that part of me and not the scared shitless part that's trying so hard to come through.

"They're coming.." He nodded his head towards the entrance of the restaurant where I saw a good looking older couple coming towards us. We both stood up and waited for them to come closer. His mom was pretty with short light brown hair and clothes that obviously were designer. Instantly making me feel underdressed. His dad had that pretty face Tyler did and was very tall. He had short brown hair and a full suit and tie. Yes, we were definitely underdressed. Fuck it, whatever.

"Hello Charles, Diane.." He calls them by their first names? "This is my girlfriend, Mallory."

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Hawkins" I put my hand out for his mom and she barely took my fingers and shook them slightly. "Mr. Hawkins.."His father already had his hand out and shook mine hard. This was fucking odd.

"It's lovely to meet you, Mallory. " His mom said as she sat down in the chair the waiter had pulled out for her.

"Oh call me Charles! Tyler has never brought anyone to meet us before, you must be special." Never? I could feel my face turning red so I just smiled and thanked god we were in a low lit place.

Charles shook Tyler's hand and sat down. I wished I wasn't sitting next to his mom, she was scaring me. She was busy with her silverware never even looking up at Tyler or returning his greeting. I mean excuse me lady your fucking son said hello to you and your silverware needs your attention? Really?

This was awkward as fuck. No one was talking..we were all just sitting there..doing separate things. Playing with silverware, napkins, sipping water..awkward.

The waiter came over and took our drink over, everyone got alcohol except me, I ordered a soda. The drinks came quickly and gave everyone something to do .

"Tyler shouldn't you stay away from alcohol?" His father asked raising his eyebrow.

"No, I'm good." Tyler didn't even look up, he just fixed around his drink and plates. And it gets more awkward.

"So, Tyler, how have you been?" His dad finally asked a question after a few minutes of silence.

"Good.."

"Are you still working at that horrid restaurant?" His mom spoke and I almost jumped. I wasn't expecting her to join the conversation.

"Just because they have paper products..doesn't mean it's a horrid restaurant mother." I'm just going to look at my fork..

"Well you should be working somewhere more prestigious like a law firm..you should work with your father.."

"I'm not fucking working with him mother, you know this, we go over this every time." Every time? How many times has she asked him to work with his dad?

"Language Tyler!"

"Enough about Tyler, Mallory tell us about yourself!" Charles was forward and loud, he took control of the situation and changed the subject..to me. Fuck.

"Um..What do you want to know?"

"Do you live in the city?"

"Yes, right near Tyler actually."

"Oh? Tyler where are you living exactly?" His dad brought the attention back to him and off of me. They didn't know where their son lived?

"Same place as the past two years.." They don't pay attention to him at all.

"So Mallory, what do you do for work?" Charles asked me another question ignoring his son's response.

"I..dance.."

"You dance? You can make a living dancing?" He questioned me as he took a sip of his drink.

"Yes." Short answers would probably be better.

"There is no way that you can dance and make enough money to live in an apartment in New York City.." His mom spoke loudly and matter of fact as she fixed the napkin in her lap once again. Her voice was sharp and her tone was bitchy. I didn't know what to say..so I said nothing.

"Well?" She looked at me expectantly and I wasn't sure what she was waiting for? "Aren't you going to tell me how you can make money _dancing?_" There's that bitchy tone again.

"I get jobs dancing, there's a calling for it in such a big city" How the fuck do I explain myself out of this one..?

"Mother stop being rude to her, you barely even know her." Tyler spoke up, clearly annoyed with his mothers questions. Thank you Tyler. I'm running out of shit to fucking say.

"I'm not bothering her Tyler. Right Mallory? " Her whole tone of voice was just..bitchy.

"No Mrs. Hawkins, you aren't." No you really fucking are actually.

"Exactly. What kind of dancing do you do?"

"Mother stop asking her about her job for Christ's sake!" Tyler had gone from annoyed to angry, quickly. I'm not really sure why because I was just going to continue to bull shit his mother until she shut the fuck up.

"Tyler watch your language! " She shook her finger at him. "You've always been the rebel..never following rules. You always thought you could get away with anything. That you could _do anything_." There was a bitterness behind her words that gave me a chill.

"Stop fucking talking." Tyler spoke through clenched teeth. I slid my hand under the table and onto his knee and squeezed.

"Don't talk to your mother like that, Tyler. You have complete disregard for rules and you always have. "

"Is that what you two came here to do? You do this every fucking time I see you, I can't stand it." Tyler pushed his chair back and stared at his parents.

"Do what?" His mother asked him with her bitchy tone. I was getting so fucking sick of hearing her voice. They were being horrible to Tyler, he didn't do anything. He works and as far as I know supports himself. He said they were assholes but I didn't think that he meant to him?

"You talk down to me like I'm some idiot. I work, I have my own money, I'm not fucking milking it off of you two. I'm sure you'd like that though wouldn't you? Have me be right back under your fucking wing waiting for me to make a mistake so you can rub it in my face forever? Oh wait you already fucking do.."

I'm officially even more confused than I was before..what was he talking about? He had made a mistake and that's what this whole double meaning conversation was? I really wish he would have prepared me for this before coming into it.

"It's your fault. It's always going to be _your fault."_ His mother just wouldn't stop. What was his fault? Why wouldn't she just drop it? I looked over at Tyler and saw his fists clenched . his eyes looked hurt and angry and I could see the tears threatening to spill.

I knew I cared about Tyler but right now that feeling was intensified. I didn't like how she was treating her son. It reminded me of how my mom used to shit on my about things that weren't in my control. I wasn't sure how his brother, Michael, had died but it couldn't' have been Tyler's fault. She was just being a huge fucking bitch for no reason.

" Diane?" Fuck this shit. " You have no respect for your son or for me. I can't even believe the way you are talking to him right now. "

"You know nothing about this family."

"You know nothing about your son. He's a sweet, loving, sensitive, smart man who I care about and you are a bitch. A total bitch who doesn't even deserve to be in the same room as Tyler if that's how you're going to talk to him." She stared at me with her mouth slightly open, I kept going. " Oh and I wouldn't want to lie to you so..you were right you can't make good money dancing. That's why I dance at a strip club." She gasped and threw her hand over her mouth. Fuck you.

"I'm a fucking prostitute." I could see the shock register on her face and I was enjoying this too much. "When was the last time you got laid Diane? How many dicks have you sucked? "

"Tyler! You're dating a whore!"

"Yes and I fuck him _soooo gooood_." I used my breathy sex voice to emphasize that last part. No we hadn't fucked..but we would. I stood up from the table at the same time as Tyler and he grabbed my hand. I looked over at Charles and noticed his mouth was open as well, in total disbelief at the scene in front of him.

TYLER

I cannot believe she just fucking said that to my mom.

I wanted to hug her, kiss her, fuck her and punch a wall all at the same time. I was still so mad from how this dinner had been going that when Mallory decided to tell off my mom it distracted me. Now all I could think about was putting my hands all over her.

My mom was being such a bitch but I was used to it. I didn't always handle it the best way but I had been handling it for the past two years so it wasn't too bad. Every time I saw my parents we had the same conversations about the same things and we fought. It was like déjà vu.

Mallory being there as my support was extremely helpful because I could look over at her and not think about the situation I was in. I felt really bad for bringing her into this though. She didn't need to deal with them. I'm really glad the conversation didn't get too far because I didn't need Mallory hearing information about Michael from my parents. They didn't know him like I did. They don't even know me.

"I can't believe you just did that!" I was excited, no I was fucking pumped right now.

I looked down at Mallory as we walked out the doors of the restaurant and onto the street. She looked kind of scared.

"What's wrong?" She should not be scared she should be fucking pumped that she just did that.

"I can't believe I just said any of that to your _mother_. Fucking great first impression right?"

"I wouldn't worry about that. She's not even important." I grabbed a cab for us and we got in quickly. "I learned a long time ago to just ignore everything they say."

"Why do they treat you the way they do?" Damn I knew she'd ask this I just figured she'd wait till we got back to her place before doing so. I don't want to lie to her..she's just getting into some bad territory. She was looking right at me so I looked out the window. Maybe if I avoid eye contact then she won't keep asking me.

"Its..uh..its a long story.." Please drop it. Every time I see my parents I leave trying to forget all the shit they say to me. I usually do this by drinking large amounts of whiskey but tonight it looks like I won't be doing that.

"So they treat you like shit for a reason?"

"Yeah." Now that I'm coming off the high that Mallory telling my mom off put me in I really need whiskey. They treat me like that all the time, I don't think I've had a normal conversation with them in years.

"Bull shit. What'd you do?" So she wasn't going to let this go..How do I even begin to tell her about this?

"It just has to do with Michael."

"Oh." She stopped asking questions and looked out her window. She knew he was a sore subject for me but now she had me thinking about it all. It was too much. I didn't want to think about it. I thought having her here would make it go away, would make me forget. Instead my parents kept making comments towards me that made her suspicious. They're such fucking assholes.

I squeezed my eyes shut trying to stop thinking. Fuck. All the nightmares are coming back and I'm stuck in a fucking cab. Mallory can't see me like this again. She already had to deal with my whiplashing emotions regarding Michael and I didn't want to put her through that again. My mind was racing, bringing back images, conversations, fights, hospitals. I felt so claustrophobic in my own mind.

"Are you okay?" she whispered by my side. It was like déjà vu from the way to the restaurant. I didn't realize that I had balled myself up as much as I could on my side of the cab, trying to get away from everything and everyone.

"No. I need to get the fuck out of this cab." I could hear her mumbling and the cab stopped. I was in my own bubble and I couldn't get out of it.

"Come on Tyler, this way, follow me." She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of her side of the cab. We were on a sidewalk and I looked around and noticed we were only a few blocks away from her apartment. "We can just walk the rest of the way if you'd like." She was being so sweet and I was still stuck inside my head. I barely nodded and kept a tight grasp on her hand.

We walked into her apartment and I was still in a daze. She walked me to her bed and pushed me so I'd sit down. I felt her push my suit jacket off and heard her drop it on the floor. She then began to unbutton my shirt. I shivered every time her fingers touched my chest. Once she got my shirt off she threw it on the floor and pushed back on my shoulders.

"Lay down" She whispered and so I did. I'd do anything she wanted me to do at this point. Usually when I went into this mood all I wanted was to feel numb, now all I wanted was to feel _her_.

I turned so my head was on her pillow and kicked my shoes off. She ran her fingers down my chest stopping at my belt and pulling it off. She was successfully distracting me . I wanted to rip her clothes off her body. She still had on that damn dress that covered everything, I want that fucking thing off. I went to grab for her and she shook her head no and placed my arm back down at my sides. She wanted control.

"All night you've been looking hot as fuck in this suit.. and all I wanted to do was take it off you. " She pulled my pants off and looked up at me with hooded eyes. "I want to fuck you so badly."

Was she asking for permission? Didn't she realize that I would do anything she asked? I was speechless, I wanted to scream _I want to be inside you now. _But no words would come out of my mouth. I was like putty in her hands. She crawled her way up my body and straddled my stomach as she unzipped her dress and pulled it off.

"Can I make you feel good? Please?" She peeked at me through her hair that was like a veil around her face, she was wearing the tiniest black lace bra that made her skin glow. Her matching black lace thong was rubbing up against my stomach and I wanted to put my hands all over her.

"God, yes. " She was absolutely beautiful . I put my hands on either side of her face and pulled her towards me. I kissed her softly at first pushing against her soft lips. Her tongue pushed through first and I opened my mouth instantly to let her in. Our tongues pushed and flicked against each other as I crushed my lips to hers over and over. I had my arms wrapped around her body to keep her close to me, I needed her close to me.

When she broke away from the kiss I immediately went for her neck, sucking and biting my way down her collarbone. She let out small moans that filled the silence in the room. I loved the sounds she makes, I love making her feel good. I slid my hands up her sides and over her bra causing her to moan at my touch.

She moved down my body kissing her way down my chest until she got to my boxers. She peeked up at me briefly before taking them off me and throwing them to the floor. I was now completely naked lying on her bed as she moved beside me.

"You're so beautiful" I kept thinking it and this time it just came out. She smiled at me before reaching down to grab my dick. Before I knew it she was licking the tip.

"Holy fuck!" I wasn't ready for that. It felt fucking fantastic. She put more of me in her mouth and began sucking. Shit, I wanted to be inside her. Last time we had hooked up she had been so tight, I couldn't imagine how hot and wet she must be right now.

I took my hand and dragged it across her thong. I could feel the heat radiating from her. I rubbed my fingers along her pussy and I could feel the wetness soaking through.

"Baby you're so wet" God, I wanted her. She had no idea what she did to me.

Her mouth was so hot and her tongue kept swirling around my dick as she sucked. I was going to come soon if I didn't stop her. I wanted to last longer but that obviously wasn't going to happen, she was so fucking good. It's like she knew I was close because she began to suck harder and pump her hand again, that felt fucking amazing. I was moaning her name as I came inside her mouth. I could hear myself panting when I finally came off my high.

" You are fucking amazing at that." I could barely get words out of my mouth but she knew what I said. I wanted to make her come, make her scream my name. I pushed her onto her back and yanked her thong off and threw it across the room. She giggled at my urgency and unhooked her bra.

I threw her bra off the bed too, I wanted all of her clothes gone. I sucked one of her nipples into my mouth swirling my tongue around. She tasted so sweet. I took one of my fingers and ran it along her slit, she was so wet. I pushed my finger inside of her and she moaned grinding against my hand, she wanted more. I pushed another finger in, pumping in and out of her. I moved down her body kissing my way along her flat stomach and to her clit. As I slid another finger inside of her I flicked my tongue against her clit. She jumped at the touch and let out an extremely loud moan. She pushed herself against my face and hands as I pumped in and out of her while keeping my tongue pressed against her clit. She wanted more I could tell but I wanted to tease her. I wanted her to want me and I wanted her to say it.

"How does that feel?"

"So fucking good." She breathed. "Give me more." That was what I wanted to hear. I dragged my teeth along her clit and pulled my fingers out. She gasped at the emptiness my fingers had left. I paused before placing my face onto her pussy and pushing my tongue inside of her, swirling it around. She began to tighten up as I slid a finger in along with my tongue to hit _that spot_. That was all it took for her to come undone, shaking and moaning my name. I didn't let up, I kept my tongue moving and my fingers pushing and pulling inside of her. As she calmed down I pulled myself back up to lay beside her.

"You don't understand how much I want you. I can never get enough. I just want to bury myself inside you." I whispered into her ear as she lay there breathing heavy, eyes still closed.

**Special thank you to: .com for all your editing help! 3 you're awesome! **

**This chapter was intense for me to write. It had so much content and I know you all wanted a long chapter anyways..so here it is! Haha! I needed this chapter to be a certain way and I think that I definitely achieved my goal! I like to switch POV's because I feel like it gives more dimension to the story ( I hope you all think that too!) Tyler and Mallory really want to fuck if that isn't obvious. They have quite the steamy sex life huh? What do you think of this chapter? Did you like the length? Dinner? Lemons? What was your favorite part? Please let me know in the comments what you thought of it!**


	10. Chapter 10 Tyler

TYLER

After the disastrous dinner with my parents Monday night and the fucking amazing hook up with Mallory my mood swings were insane. I felt so unstable. I still do I suppose. It's been two weeks since then and they have gone extremely fast. I have had work every day and I work opposite hours than Mallory. Which fucking sucks. I go to the restaurant during the day and she's at the club all night. We see each other for a couple hours each day and in those hours we're either extremely awkward or extremely touchy. I think it's because we're in new territory for both of us. We don't know what to do or how to do it. I don't know what her boundaries are so I never know what she will accept from me.

It's like can I hold your hand? Can I kiss your cheek? Can I rub your back? Can I kiss you now? Seems like the only thing we never seem to have a problem with is our 'sex' life. I mean..we haven't had sex but everything else has been done, over and over. I'm totally not complaining because it's amazing. That's where she's most comfortable in our relationship and for obvious reasons.

I'm not as comfortable in that because I get all nervous. I don't know why but I do. I want to be more caring and touchy and just talk to her. I feel like the girl in the relationship… what the fuck is that about? Isn't the guy supposed to be the one who wants to get in the girls pants all the time? Isn't she supposed to want to talk to me? She's supposed to want me to cuddle her, kiss her, talk to her? I don't fucking know. I never really had girlfriends..I'm just as new to this as her..I suppose I'm just more accepting of the concepts of what dating really means? Or maybe I'm the one who needs the emotional support and she's the one who needs the physical?

Fuck it. I have no idea. I feel so lost. I'm so happy though and that's why I'm so confused. I am completely content with whatever she wants to give me. Whatever she's willing to let me do I'm going to take and savor. I'm just worried that I'm going to go too far one day and she's going to be gone forever.

I feel like she'd be completely okay with just taking off and never seeing me again she's like a bird, ready to fly away at any sign of danger. At the same time I feel like she does feel _something_ for me or she wouldn't have given in to being my girlfriend. I think my issues make me clingy to her. I crave the attention she's willing to give me, almost in an addictive way.

The awkward moments come from when we don't know what to do with ourselves. When those cuddle, kiss, intimate moment opportunities occur and I'm lost on what to do. She usually is as well and we end up watching tv or something to that extent.

Now I'm getting out of work, it's Monday and we both have the night off. This means that I'll get to spend the night with her. I'm incredibly excited to see her and kiss her. I miss touching her. I love how soft her body is and how when I kiss her our lips move together perfectly.

Oh and I still want to fuck her. Really bad. Its like we're both waiting for the other to make a move first. It's not happening though, we both hesitate when we get to that point and end up using our tongues for the job. I feel like having sex is going to be that connection that brings us both together, common ground almost.

I went back to my apartment and found Aiden in the living room with some girl. Not surprising.. I think this is his 3rd girl since I met Mallory. He keeps asking me about her and when I'm going to bring her around again. Never. He would probably just fuck shit up for me anyways. I don't need him trying to _help.___

"I'm just grabbing some clothes and I'm going to Mallorys.." I said as I walked though. There was no need to interrupt whatever the hell it was they were doing.

"Alright man me and Ali were just chillin" Right. I'm sure their tongues were going to be all over each other the second I left.

I grabbed clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste and my phone charger and threw it all in a backpack. I'd like to keep things at her place, since we're always there anyways but I think she may get freaked out. I am even freaked out by the idea that I thought of doing that to tell you the truth. My commitment level to her is scaring the fuck out of me which means it's probably worse for her.

I had to stop at the store on the way to her place because I was going to be making her dinner tonight. It should be nice because we haven't had much together time recently. I feel like the last time we really got to be together was that disastrous night. We need tonight and I don't want to fuck it up. I don't even know what to cook her, we don't eat actual food together very often. Its usually any form of take out that's mostly pizza or sandwich oriented. I settle on making chicken parmesan, its easy and she has to like it..right?

I called her when I got outside her apartment to have her let me in. When she opened the door I stopped breathing momentarily. I almost dropped the bags of groceries that I was was wearing one of my button down shirts. Mine. On her body.

I'm fucking ecstatic right now. I wanted to take a picture of this and keep it forever. She had _me_ all over her. I guess this was such a big deal because of how against relationships she is. I had left it here a few nights ago not even on purpose, just accidentally. She must have tucked it away because I haven't seen it out since. This was like her saying 'Yes I'm yours.' Damn, I wanted everyone to know that. I know she feels something for me, she's kind of told me that much, but this just seemed like we took a giant step forward. In a very symbolic, awkward, Mallory- Tyler way.

"You look beautiful." I stood in the doorway, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"Thanks." Her face turned red and she turned and walked towards the couch and sat down. That's when I noticed that my shirt was the _only _thing that she was wearing. Fuck me. What was she trying to do?

"I'm thoroughly enjoying your outfit for tonight. It's going to be hard for me to cook for you when you're looking that sexy though.." My plan of cooking her dinner tonight had gone from chicken to orgasms.

"Well I've been looking forward to your cooking so do I need to go put clothes on?"

"No." I answered way too quickly. She knew where my head was. She just smiled and looked at the tv, food network. That had almost become an inside joke with the two of us, we watched it religiously. She was in a really happy mood right now. This was rare, usually something was bugging her or she was stressed or tense, but not tonight. Tonight she seemed at ease and content with being with me.

I threw my backpack down on the floor and put the groceries on the counter, getting everything ready to cook. She had placed pans, pots, cooking utensils and apparently any other random thing she thought I'd need to cook on the counter. God, I'm falling for her she was trying to be helpful in her own way.

I focused on cooking and not her in the other room and everything was done pretty quickly. I had made a salad, garlic bread and chicken parmesan. It looked pretty fucking good if you ask me.

"Wow." She watched me place it all on the table and I was instantly self conscious. I wanted her to like my cooking, I craved her attention in ways I didn't even realize.

"Uh..yeah..Its just chicken."

"It looks great." She smiled at me and sat down. I sat beside her awkwardly, internally trying to calm myself the fuck down. I had no reason to be nervous now. It was just food, if she didn't like it we could go get pizza..

I waited for her to take a bite, watching her pull her fork towards her mouth..

"You're freaking me the fuck out." She looked at me, her fork freezing in mid air. "Stop being all nervous and shit and eat this fucking awesome food you just cooked." She smiled again, I loved her smile, and pushed the fork into her mouth. Well I feel stupid. She read right through me, not like I was being discrete anyways but still.

We both ate making random conversation about absolutely nothing, I could feel the lust between us, it was radiating throughout the room. She would playfully put her leg over mine which gave me an amazing view of her pink lacey panties. I wanted to rip them off the entire dinner. Fuck. I was getting a hard on just looking at her. She must have known what she was doing because she kept biting at her lip. I wanted to be biting that lip and listening to her moan into my mouth. I had to remember to take bites of my food and swallow it. When we finally finished dinner I grabbed the plates and went to put them in the sink, when I turned around she was right there.

"You're an incredibly good cook." She looked at me from under her eyelashes.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"I'm making you cook for me more often."

"Anytime you want."

"Anything I want?"

"Of course, you can always have anything you want." It was true. I'd give her anything she asked for.

"I want you." She reached her hands up and locked them around my neck.

I wanted her too, now. I grabbed her hips and pushed her against the wall, my lips crushing hers. I lifted her up and she locked her legs around my waist. Her shirt had ridden up when I picked her up and my hands went towards her ass, cupping her panties, all while pushing her against the wall with my chest. She pushed her tongue inside my mouth and began playing with mine. Her hands were pulling at my hair, grabbing at my shoulders, doing anything to get me closer to her.

Our breathing got faster and we kept pulling at each other trying to be _closer._ I wanted to be inside her, buried in her. I moved my head away from hers so that I could walk us to her room, she began kissing my neck as I walked. It felt so fucking good. I laid her down on the bed and lay between her legs putting my weight on top of her. I loved feeling her under me, her heart beating faster and pussy getting hotter with each kiss. I began kissing her again when she realized that my dick was pressed against her pussy and began grinding against me. She had her legs wrapped around my back as she ground herself against me rubbing against her clit.

"Oh God, don't do that to me Mallory, you're killing me." I loved it and hated it. I wanted her and I wanted to cherish her. "I just want to fuck you so hard." I didn't mean to say it..I was thinking it but I didn't mean to say it. It just came out. I didn't want her to freak out, fuck. We hadn't really discussed that topic but its not like she was a virgin either.

"Please." She said as she continued to grind against me, moaning softly at the friction she was creating.

"Please what?"

"I want you to fuck me. Please." I got even harder than I thought possible did she really just say that? Her breathing was getting ragged and it came out in a whisper. I wanted her, she wanted me. She even said please, that one word went straight to my dick.

"Are you sure?" I wanted to be careful with her, I wanted her to make the decision. I didn't want to be the asshole that used her for sex, ever. I knew I had done well so far and I wasn't about to fuck that up because I was thinking with my other brain.

"Yes. Please ,Tyler." I didn't answer I just kissed her as hard as I possibly could. She kissed back just as hard and pulled my shirt off. Her fingers went all over my chest before she began to unbutton hers. It only took her a minute but it felt like forever. I wanted her clothes off. She wasn't wearing a bra under the shirt which I actually hadn't noticed until now. She had been distracting me with her panties all night that I hadn't even looked to see what else she had under the shirt. She was laying under me in tiny pink panties. My nerves were coming back, full force. I was going to have sex with this girl. She was mine and tonight I would fully claim that. I don't know if I ever expected this to actually happen, I think in the back of my brain I always thought she'd leave. She could get sex from anyone.

I hadn't really let myself think about it till now but she had been with a lot of men , I knew that. What if I wasn't good? What if she thinks I'm completely lame and doesn't ever want to be with me again? She's a lot more experienced than me..this shit just got so scary in a matter of seconds.

"Tyler, relax." She breathed as she looked up at me, I was holding myself up with my hands and staring at the pillow behind her head. "Come on baby." Fuck. She was trying to kill me, I knew it.

I turned my focus to getting my pants off and throwing them across the room. The only clothing left was her tiny pink panties that were so fucking sexy on her. I laid back down on top of her and rubbed my dick against her panties. She moaned and I could feel the wetness through them. " Fuck that feels good." She mumbled into my hair as I sucked one of her nipples into my mouth. I sucked and bit at her breasts leaving small hickeys on each one, marking my territory.

"I want you so badly." I whispered in her ear. " You're already so fucking wet for me." The only response I got from her was a moan. I kept dragging my dick back and forth over her in a steady rhythm causing friction in just the right places. I couldn't handle it anymore, she was moaning and grabbing at my hair pulling me towards her whispering for me to _come closer._ She wanted me closer. I would get closer.

I backed up and slowly pulled her panties down her legs. I heard her mumble 'hurry' as I got to her knees and quickly pulled them off her completely, throwing them with our other clothes. I reached over on her nightstand and grabbed a condom, rolling it on to myself slowly, nerves coursing through me.

This was it, I would finally get to have this with her, do this with her, feel this with her. Having sex with her would make this whole relationship seem more stable and real.

I looked down at her pussy, she was completely bare. I loved that. I rubbed my dick against her clit and I could feel her wetness. I closed my eyes and moaned at the sensation. Fuck. I looked at her face and saw her watching me with hooded eyes. I put myself against her entrance and heard her breath hitch.

"Ready?"

"Yes." I leaned down and kissed her as I pushed myself inside of her. God, she felt so fucking good. She was so tight around my dick, I could feel every inch of her. "Holy shit you're so big" She moaned into my mouth between kisses. That made me feel incredibly good about myself. I pulled out and pushed back in with a little more force, loving the way she felt. She was so hot, wet and tight around me. "Keep going Baby I want to feel you."

"You feel so fucking amazing." I whispered in her ear making her shudder.

"Oh god, don't stop." I kept thrusting into her slowly. "Please, faster." I went faster and kept changing the pace based on her sounds. She was so much more vocal during sex and I fucking loved it. I wanted to hear her scream my name when she came.

I flipped over so that she would be on top of me, I wanted to see her. I wanted to watch her ride my dick. Her skin was so milky she almost glowed in the dim lighting of the room, she was beautiful. I ran my hands along her sides and up to her boobs. I pinched at her nipples causing her to shiver. She began to lift herself up and drop back down on me. Over and over again she moved arching her back and holding my hands for leverage. I could feel her tightening up around me and it felt so good, I wanted to make her come hard. I grabbed her hips and took control as I thrust inside her. We were fucking amazing together. We both just..fit.

"Harder." She moaned into my ear, she was so close I could feel it. If she wanted it harder then I would give it to her harder. I pumped harder into her over and over again. I felt her whole body tense before giving in, moaning my name and pulling at my hair as she fell apart. I tried to last longer as she came around my dick but I was consumed by her. I couldn't take it anymore and I exploded, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close.

This was the most intimate thing we had ever experienced together and I never wanted it to end.

I held her there for a while before picking her up and carrying us to the bathroom. She was still coming off her orgasm with a sleepy look on her face. She smiled at me when I put her feet down on the floor. She leaned over and pulled my condom off and threw it away. I wasn't expecting her to do that and I jumped at her touch. I turned on the hot water and pulled her in with me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me in a very slow, sensual way.

She was never the one to do things like this, wrap around me, kiss me like this. It was new. I loved it. I ran my hands all over her body, massaging her shoulders, back and finally resting them on her butt. I squeezed and pulled her towards me. Her pussy was pressed directly on my dick. I was already ready to be buried inside of her again.

"I seriously don't know what I'd do without you." I whispered into her ear and I felt her tense up.

**I'm leaving you at the end of this chapter with a lyric as well:**

"kiss the world goodnight now, its you I want to hold."

**It's from a Sam Bradley song and I LOVE IT. **

**I hope you all loved this chapter as much as I do. What do you think will happen next? Are you glad that they finalllyyyyyyyyyyy had a legit lemon? I think this chapter is pivotal but which way do you think it will pivot..good or bad? Happy or sad? LET ME KNOW! **

**Readfanfic . tumblr .com**


	11. Chapter 11 Mallory

**WARNING: NOT EDITED! I wanted to post because you all have been waiting patiently and I couldn't edit and post it tonight but I figured you'd all want it anyways..**

**I hope you all enjoy Mallorys head and let's just say its about to get crazy.**

Mallory

Sex is nothing to me. It's a tool. Something I use to get what I want. It's not emotional, it doesn't have emotion, its sex. Everyone wants it and they pay me to get it. Who doesn't enjoy the feeling of an orgasm? Things like hand jobs, head, eating out and sex are all ways to get off and nothing more than that.

What I just did with Tyler was not sex.

Fuck.

What did I just do with Tyler?

I felt something with him. I don't even know what exactly I felt to tell you the truth. I'm fucking screwed. I enjoyed feeling him pressed against me, inside me. I loved he felt pounding against me. I wanted more and more from him. I couldn't get enough. I kept trying to get closer in any way I could. I didn't know what had come over me but it was the best and scariest feeling I've ever had. I felt like I needed him, like he was the only one that could fix me.

No one can fix me.

But being with him is an insane sensation that I never want to lose.

When we got in the shower and he told me he didn't know what he'd do without me I panicked. I fucking freaked out on the inside and I tried not to show it on the outside. We had just had amazing sex and here I am fucking it up within minutes after.

He cares about me, I know that. I came to terms with the fact hat I care about him too, even if I have never said it to him. Now hes telling me he doesn't know what he'd do without me? Shit. This means that if I leave I'll hurt him. Ive been thinking about leaving..getting out of this relationship. Not getting too deep. He knew when we started this shit that I was skeptical. I'm not trying to use him but I don't know what to do.

He knew I was freaked out, he felt me tense up. He didn't say anything for the rest of the shower. We washed each other and kissed, a lot. It felt too intimate to me but I couldn't bring myself to stop him. I didn't want him to get he wrong impression. What am I saying..I didn't want myself to get the wrong impression.

He would get to know me better and he wouldn't want me. Its going to click in his head one day that I'm not that girl. I'm not the one you date, kiss, cuddle, cook for, nothing. I'm the girl you fuck and pay. I'm not a good person. I'm a fucking prostitute.

I'm worried because I feel like the day he realizes I'm not a good person is going to be the day that I'm going to lose this piece of myself. This happy piece that he's brought back and I don't think I'll ever be able to get it back.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked Tyler as we walked out the doors of my apartment building. I was heading off to work and he was going back to his apartment to hang out with Aiden. He hadn't been seeing much of him since we started dating or whatever. I'm still not fucking used to having a _boyfriend._

"Of course sweetheart." He's been dropping that nickname a lot since we had sex a week ago. I know its because he cares and we've gotten a lot closer but he also knows it freaks me out. I can see it in his eyes every time he says it, waiting for me to crack and flip my shit at him. Part of me wants to yell _fuck off my names Mallory _ but then there's the larger part of me that knows he's doing it because we're together and he cares. I just have to remember that he cares and not be freaked out by the concept. It's easier said than done.

Work seemed long tonight. I mostly stuck to dancing which was always a good money maker. I would be completely bruised tomorrow from the pole but whatever. I got paid real well when I danced, lap dances tended to be my specialty. Plus there's always those regulars that want a certain girl every time they come in and I was a lot of men's certain girl. Sometimes my lap dances would turn into private rooms which meant more money.

Tonight I kept thinking about Tyler. Usually while I'm at work I'm focused and I don't think about much of anything. Its very mindless for me. Tonight every time I'd be grinding against someone I'd think of how it felt to be grinding against Tyler. I'd be riding the pole and see the men watching me and wish that they were Tyler watching me. I wanted him to be there and that was weird.

When I got a break I did something I never thought I'd do in my entire life. I texted Tyler and told him I missed him. I don't even think I realized what I was doing until after I did it and even then I was frozen staring at the screen. Holy shit, I just told him I _miss_ him? Great Mallory now he's really going to get in too deep. I'm going to singlehandedly screw myself over.

I didn't even look at my phone to see if he had sent anything back I just threw it back in my locker and when back to dancing. I didn't want to think about what I had just done. It would just distract me from making money and I always needed to make money.

I wrapped myself around the pole, swinging down and exposing my ass beneath the tiny skirt I had on. I was wearing a similar skirt to the one Tyler had pulled off me in the private room weeks ago. Ah! See! I'm fucking thinking about him again! Fuck.. Mallory stop.

I dropped down low and then dragged my body back up the poll. As I stood up I saw a man coming towards me. He was older and I was hoping he'd have money on him because I would make him pay. I grabbed the poll and threw my head back. I slid myself down and laid on my back as he approached me. My knees were bent and straddling the pole as I sprawled out. I wanted him to want me, I wanted him to want to pay me.

"Hi sexy" I winked and grabbed the tie he was wearing. This was my job, make them feel like _I want them_ even when they're creepy, ugly, weird, old…whatever. "What can I do for you?"

"How about you dance for me?" He was probably in his 30's and definitely single.

I got off the platform that I was on and took his hand and led him to a chair. I began to dance as he sat and stared. This used to be so intimidating for me when I first started but now its nothing. I dance erotically and rub my hands all over my boobs and down my stomach and tug on my skirt. The goal is to make the guy as horny as I possibly can and that produces more money because he'll want help getting off. I hadn't even gotten close to him and I could tell that he was already hard, this would be fucking easy. I leaned towards him and whispered "You're so fucking sexy" into his ear. He visibly shivered. Fucking easy fucking money. It was almost like I was another person when I was here. It wasn't really _me_ doing all of this it was another side, a dangerous side. I didn't care about the process I just wanted the result, money.

He started to get really touchy with me and I was glad, I wanted him to buy a private room. If he did then I'd make a ton of money and I'd probably only have to fucking jack him off or get myself off for him. Either way it's a fucking win. I stopped dancing because his five minutes was up and he put a hundred dollar bill in my skirt.

"Do you want to get a private room with me?" I put one of my legs up on the chair arm beside him and his eyes immediately went to my pussy. I was barely wearing any panties, they were the tiniest ones I could I find and they always did what I needed them to do.

"Oh fuck yes gorgeous." Yeah buddy, you talking nice to me isn't going to get you anything special. I don't do discounts, I don't give extras and I don't do anal. I hated those fucking guys that thought if they were extra sweet to you that they'd actually get extra shit..fuck no.

"You've just gotten me so hard honey and I want you to take care of it." Yes I knew you would. I grabbed his hand and pulled him with me through the club. We got into one of the rooms and it was tinted blue. Each had its own unique lighting, creating its own mood.

I pushed him down on the bed in the center of the room, he wasn't muscular but large and incredibly tall. I mean probably a foot taller than me at least, maybe like 6'5'', it freaked me out. I wanted to have the upper hand and control him, so I made him lay down. I stood at his feet and began rubbing my inner thighs.

"Oh you're so fucking sexy..it's making me wet."

"I want to come, right now. " All I could think of was money, money, money. He'd be paying for this and he knew it. I crawled onto the bed and unbuckled his pants and pulled them down taking his boxers with them.

"What do you want me to do to you?" I used my raspy, sensual voice and licked my lips. Usually they wanted head..i'd give it, they'd pay and leave.

"I want to stick it in your tight ass." I froze. Fuck no. That was my _only no._

"Wouldn't you rather me suck your dick?" I kept with the voice thinking I could persuade him.

"No honey. You look so tight and I want to feel you." He sat up and grabbed me by my arms and pushed me down on the bed beside him. He started kissing me and began to pull my clothes off, I let him. Maybe I could get him to change his mind? I grabbed his dick and began pumping it, he responded immediately with grunts. I moved down and put my mouth around him and began sucking him off. See? He wanted it.

"That's right, get it all wet so it will go in you easier.." He said between grunts and I sucked harder. No. I'm getting you off like this and you'll fucking pay me. "Okay now turn around." His voice was hard.

"No." It's all I said. I sat up waiting for him to complain or some shit.

"No? Fucking bitch I told you to turn around." He yelled I into my ear before grabbing my arms and trying to turn me. I tried to fight him and it wasn't working, I wasn't strong enough to fight, he was huge. He was grabbing my arms so tightly it hurt and I knew I'd bruise. I struggled against him as I felt his elbow smack into my face. Fuck that hurt a lot.

"Back the fuck up pencil dick!" I screamed at him and he let me go just enough that I pushed away and opened the door.

Someone immediately rushed past me, I assumed it was a body guard. These rooms aren't sound proof and we had been yelling at each other. They were always there to take care of clients like these. We were allowed to have things we _didn't _do. Anal was my one thing.

I heard a loud smack and knew it was someone getting punched in the face. I turned around and saw a man knelt over the client. He had one arm on the clients neck and the other ready to hit again.

"Never fucking touch her again!" I stopped breathing. I fucking knew that voice. Didn't I? No. It couldn't be..that's impossible.

"You hear me?" He punched again. "Don't fucking go near her! Don't touch her!" And he punched him again. I was frozen. I was still naked standing in the corner, I could hear myself breathing loudly. The client got his strength back from the surprise attack and punched the man, hard. The man fell off the bed and hit the ground with a thud. As the client went over to hit the man more a bodyguard came in and went towards them.

"Break it up! You're both out of here!" The client had punched the man another time before the bodyguard pulled them off each other. Another bodyguard heard the commotion and came in the room ready to take one of the men out. The second bodyguard threw me his jacket knowing I couldn't easily put my clothes back on.

"Thank you" I barely mumbled. I was waiting for them to take these men out.

I watched as one of the bodyguards grabbed the client by his arm and began dragging him out of the room. I looked away, not wanting to make eye contact. My boss would still make him pay for the room and I was fucking happy about that.

"You fucking slut! You better watch your fucking back!" His voice was just..scary. I fucking hated it. I'm never scared.

"Mallory!" There was _that_ voice again. "Are you fucking okay?" It sounded panicked and scared and extremely worried. As the body guard brought him closer I could see the blood covereing his face. It looked like he had been punched more than twice. His nose looked broken and his eyes were puffy.

That's when something happened that hadn't happened since I had lost my dad, I felt my heart sink, and it hurt.

"Tyler?"

**This is unedited so I'm REALLY SORRY for any mistakes you may have come across. I will fix it when I can but until then please enjoy and let me know what you think of this chapter. I HATED writing about Mallory with another guy but it was necessary..you need to know about her life. **


	12. Chapter 12 Mallory Tyler

MALLORY

My heart is racing and my entire body hurts. What the fuck just fucking happened? Tylers here? What the fuck? I don't even know what just happened. My brain can't catch up with the things happening in front of me. I don't know if seconds or minutes have passed as I stand with my back against the wall in this empty room. This empty room that apparently Tyler was just in?

I tried to focus and figure out what just happened..okay.. my client was being really fucking creepy because wanted to stick it in my ass and I don't fucking do that shit. I tried to get away but he wouldn't let me and gripped my arms, hard, until I screamed at him. I was subconsciously rubbing at my arms in the places where his hands once were. I don't even know how I got out of that fucking grip he had me in, I can already feel the bruises he left. I hated his hands on me. I just wanted the money! That's the only reason I didn't stop him sooner, I was being fucking greedy.

I remember that as I was running out of the room i was trying to scream but my voice wouldn't let me, I was actually scared of what might happen. That's never happened before, I don't get scared. As I opened the door someone rushed past me, but it wasn't a body guard.

That was Tyler. Tyler came in to help me. How did he even know I was in here? How long had he been in the club? I don't even fucking get why he would just _show up_. He's never done anything remotely close to this..ever. I'm so fucking confused.

I remembered hearing Tyler punch the client in the face, again and again. I couldn't even move, I was just standing there naked watching Tyler beat this man up. What was I supposed to do? Yell at them? Probably but I couldn't get my voice to work. The client had thrown Tyler off the bed and onto the floor where he began punching him. At the time I didn't even know who the client was punching, just that they had come in and helped me. Now knowing that it was Tyler made me feel sick.

I was in a blur, and my emotions were going crazy. I felt nauseous, scared, confused and I couldn't make anything come out of my mouth. I wanted to yell at them to stop, to get the fuck out, to say anything to make it all go away. One of the body guards handed me his jacket as he walked in and I put it on without even thinking, the only thing I could focus on was searching for who had come bursting in the room. I felt like I was in a bubble, I could only hear my breathing, nothing else.

When they finally grabbed both men and began dragging them out I knew that the client was saying something to me but I couldn't for the life of me tell you what. As the second man was pulled past me I barely heard him speak because my entire body felt numb . When my brain finally caught up to the moment I felt sick.

"Tyler?" I couldn't believe I could actually speak. I looked into his once green eyes and could only see black. He looked intense and violent, I was actually scared of him in that moment.

I don't know why I was scared but I was. I didn't feel like I was looking at Tyler, I felt like I was looking at a version of him. A version I wasn't sure I wanted to experience.

They walked out of the room and I still hadn't moved. I couldn't speak. I could hear my breathing shallow breaths coming out quickly. I felt like curling up in a ball, my whole body was giving up on me. I slid down the wall and hugged my knees . my face felt wet and I brought a hand up and touched my cheek, I was crying and I couldn't stop. Tears kept flowing down my face and my breathing kept getting heavier, my heart felt like it had been punched. Why the fuck was I reacting like this?

TYLER

I cant fucking breathe. I need to get out of this fucking club.

He better not have fucking hurt her. I'll fucking kill him, I will seriously fucking kill him if he hurt her.

I can feel my adrenaline pumping through me. I haven't felt like this since…then. I hate it and I love it. I feel alive and I want to fucking kill someone. These fucking body guards better take care of this fucking douche bag or I will. They were fucking slow to get in there to help her, I had my hand on the door knob when it flew open and she was standing there. I never want to see her face look like that again. She looked frightened and I knew it was because of him. She was just standing in the doorway naked except for fishnet tights and those heels she wore. Thinking about that now it bothered me that he had seen her naked, a lot. That's when I had run in and started to beat the shit out of that fucker.

The second I got thrown out of that club I started looking for that asshole and he wasn't even a hundred feet away from me walking towards another club. I want to kill him. I don't even know what the fuck he did to her and I hate him. I feel like I'm in a total fog. I start walking towards him, I'm going to punch his fucking face in.

"Hey!" I'm almost running to him at this point. "Why don't you stop fucking walking and face me like a man!"

I swung at him and hit him directly in the jaw. I felt it break, he wasn't expecting the hit and I wasn't holding back.

"Mother fucker!" He screamed and grabbed at his jaw. We were attracting the attention of anyone within a mile radius with all the yelling. I didn't even let him compose himself before hitting him again, first in the stomach, then in the chest, again and again. He fell down to his knees as I continued punching, I couldn't stop.

He finally decided to join me in the fight apparently because he pulled himself up off his knees and stood up as he started swinging his fists. The first time he swung I ducked and he missed, my cocky side took over and I wasn't paying attention and his second swing made contact with my temple. Fuck. I dropped to the ground, hitting the pavement with my shoulder first.

"You fucking pussy! Is that all you got?" I taunted him as I stood up. Any fear I may have had was gone, I was completely focused on beating the shit out of him. All I could think about was hurting him, making him pay for what he did. At one point I actually thought I'm finally going to be the man that my parents think I am, a killer. I mean that's what they thought of me anyways right? Why not give them a reason to hate me more? Although at this point I couldn't even give you a legitimate reason for continuing to fight, I didn't know what had happened between him and Mallory and I had already hit him multiple times, but it felt good and I couldn't convince myself to stop. There was a small part of me that kept saying _Go Find Mallory! What about her?_ But it wasn't winning. The feeling of hitting his him felt good, it fueled my anger and wouldn't let me stop. It was like my nightmares were here but in a different form, one I hadn't experienced yet.

He punched my stomach and I'm not going to lie it fucking hurt. I bent over trying to catch my breath and he hit me in the face again. Fuck this shit, I am not going down like this. I stood up and swung at him again, making contact with his face, he went down with a painful smack against the pavement. I heard yelling and finally came out of the fog I had been in to realize that there were a lot of people around. Body guards suddenly appeared and broke the two of us up. I had two holding me back and bringing me one way , I wasn't sure what had happened to the asshole I had just knocked out. I could feel the blood dripping down my face, I could taste it in my mouth, the iron and salty flavor almost made me gag.

"You need to calm the fuck down and get out of here before you cause anymore trouble." The bodyguard holding my left side spoke into my ear, it didn't sound harsh but almost like he was looking out for me. I was completely coming off my adrenaline high and my body was beginning to feel the effects. Everything was sore or hurt like fucking hell. My face felt like someone kept hitting me with a hammer right behind my eyes, my stomach had a painful ache.

"Thanks" I mumbled and started walking away, I don't even know what I was walking towards. I didn't know where to go, I didn't know where Mallory was. Fuck, where was she? I turned around and began searching the crowd outside the club, looking for those long legs of hers or that tousled hair. I wanted to look into those green eyes and make sure she was okay.

I couldn't find her anywhere and I wasn't allowed back inside of the club. What the fuck do I do now? I reached into my pockets and found my cell phone, immediately dialing her number. It rang and rang, the longest thirty seconds of my life, and she didn't answer. Fuck. Where was she? I called again and no answer. Why wasn't she fucking answering?

Was she mad at me? Shit, I hadn't thought of that. What if she hated me for coming here, what if she thought I was a possessive asshole and never wanted to talk to me again? I couldn't even think with my pounding headache but I knew I needed to find her. She looked so affected by it all when I was escorted out of the room, could she just not care? Of course she could. I'm such a fucking idiot she doesn't care about me, why would she care? She has never straight up told me that she cares about me, that she worries. No, I can't believe that. She sent me a text saying that she missed me, _she missed me._ Why the fuck would she send that if she didn't care? She wouldn't.

Before all this shit happened I was sitting in my apartment with Aiden drinking beer and watching tv, nothing fucking exciting, the whole time I was thinking I'd rather be with her. That's when I get this text from her saying she missed me. I was fucking ecstatic, three words and I was done for. I wanted to see her and I didn't care that she was at work, I was going to fucking see her, she missed me.

"Tyler!" hearing my name broke me out of the fog I was in, I heard her voice but I couldn't find her, I frantically looked around trying to find those eyes. I needed to see her.

"Tyler!" she yelled again and I saw her push through the crowd. She was wearing a mans coat, zipped up all the way, as she stumbled on her heels towards me. She saw me and tried to move quicker, though her heels wouldn't allow it. I closed the distance and wrapped my arms around her holding her tight to me. I pulled back and looked into her eyes , I had never been happier to see emerald. Although that's when I also noticed how puffy and swollen they were, she had been crying. I felt horrible, I hated that she had cried, I never wanted her to be unhappy. I wrapped my arms tighter and pulled her to me once again.

"You're okay." I whispered into her hair, breathing in her scent. It was more of a question but came out as a statement.

"I'm fine, are _you _okay?" She sounded concerned and I enjoyed that way too much. I wanted to keep hearing her voice, hear the emotion she was putting into it. "I can't believe you ..you're here?..I mean, where did you come from?" As she finished the sentence I could hear her voice crack, almost like she was going to _cry. _ She reached up and touched my face gently, cringing as she took in the bloody mess.

"I..just..I had to see you." It was a lame excuse for what really happened but I wasn't about to get into details standing on the street with her wrapped in another mans coat. "I don't want to be here." She nodded and grabbed my hand pulling me with her down the street, towards her apartment. It kind of reminded me of the night I got a private room where she took control or even the night of my breakdown in the car where she helped me through it. She always knew what to do when I was in a place of need, her hand was the one thing keeping me stable and sane in this moment.

We were completely silent on the way to her apartment, I was slightly limping and kept having to stop every few feet because of the pain.

"Maybe we should go to the hospital?" she asked as we turned onto her street.

"No." I didn't want to go to the hospital because I didn't want to explain what happened but mostly I didn't want to be with anyone but her.

"But you're in so much pain." I could hear the hurt in her voice and I wished that I could take it away.

"I just want to be with you, no one else. Please." She gave me a small smile and whispered _okay_ as she led me the rest of the way to her apartment.

It took a while for me to make it up the couple flights of stairs and I was trying to not show how much it hurt. I think she knew that I was holding back because she kept whispering encouraging things like _almost there_ and _just a little further_. I made it to the top and paused once more, everything hurt. She kept looking back at me and every time she would it looked like she would start crying. This wasn't a side of Mallory that I was used to and I didn't know how to handle it.

"Do I really look that bad?" I said as we walked into her apartment, I was trying to lighten the mood a little but I don't think it worked.

"I'm so sorry." She leaned in and kissed me so softly on my lips that I almost didn't feel it. "Come on, I'll help you." She walked beside me as we made our way to her bathroom. She grabbed towels and a first aid kit she had tucked inside a cabinet on our way. I wanted to know what I looked like and the second we got into the bathroom I went right for the mirror.

"Holy shit." I had blood coming out of my nose and other places, scratches all over my cheeks, bruises by my eyes and my bottom lip was busted. I was a fucking mess.

I sat down on the side of the tub as she wet a towel and dabbed at my face. It hurt like hell but I didn't complain, I just closed my eyes and let her take care of me. When she was done cleaning my face with the towel she opened the first aid kid and grabbed some things and threw them on the counter. I watched her put some on a tissue and she brought it over to my face.

"I'm so sorry, this is going to hurt a little but if I don't use it you may get an infection." She waited for me to nod before gently applying it all over my face, it burned. Every time I would cringe against her touch she would whisper _I'm sorry_. I felt so bad, she shouldn't be saying sorry, its not her fault that I'm like this right now.

Once she was done she moved her attention to my hands, I hadn't even looked at them, they were all bloody as well. I had apparently done more damage to myself than I had originally thought. She cleaned them and wrapped a thin layer of some gauzy looking stuff around them a few times. Almost as if she knew I would ask she handed me two white pills and a cup of water. I popped them into my mouth and chugged the water. I loved that she was taking care of me, that I needed her so much and she knew exactly what to do. She was so fucking beautiful, every time I was around her I _wanted _her.

"Thank you." I couldn't stop staring at her, those beautiful eyes and those long legs. I didn't like that she still had that jacket on though, it was someone else's and she was mine. I reached up and traced the lines of her collarbone down to the point where the jacket was. She brought her hand up to mine and held it there.

"I need to know why you were there tonight." Damn her. I was really hoping that she wouldn't ask. It's not like I thought that we could go on forever like nothing ever happened but I at least wanted tonight to be without questions. I didn't want this conversation to happen now, because if it did I may say things I wasn't sure she wanted to hear, things I wasn't sure I wanted to say. I stood up because I felt like it would give me leverage and control of the conversation, who knows if that's even true.

"I know you don't want to talk about it but I need to know." I knew I would tell her but it sucked because I didn't know how she was going to react.

"I needed to see you." I answered cryptically.

"Tyler I know that or you wouldn't have been there but how did you know where I was? You were right there when I opened the door." She was looking right into my eyes, almost like she was searching for something. I wasn't sure what she was searching for or if she would even find it. I considered giving her another short answer but I knew she would just ask me again, she was persistent like that.

"You texted me. Please understand that when you told me you fucking missed me I couldn't just sit at home and think wow I miss you too. _I had to see you." _ That was the truth. I was looking directly into her deep green eyes and I wondered what she was thinking. Her breath came out ragged and her eyes watered up. I was instantly worried that I was making her cry..again.

"Mallory don't cry, please don't cry." I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her towards me. " I shouldn't have come, I should have just texted you back and left it at that, I should have waited for you to call me when you got out. I just..I couldn't." I was talking into her hair and she had her face pressed against my chest, her breathing still very shaky.

"I..you walked..I just.." She was mumbling into my chest and I couldn't understand a word she was saying. I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back so I could see her face. "You fucking scared me so much."

"I know I shouldn't have barged in and.." She cut me off. "No, I thought..I just..he threw you off the bed, you walked away so bloody." Her eyes searched the air as she spoke almost like she was reliving it in her mind. I stroked her cheek to bring her back to me and keep her focused on my face.

"Wait so I scared you because of how I looked..not because I was fighting one of your clients right in front of you?" So she didn't hate me? I scared her because I was hurt?

"Because of what fucking _happened___to you…and how you looked." Her voice was barely audible. Now it was my turn to apologize.

"God I didn't mean for any of this shit to happen, I couldn't..you were just..i don't know what to say to make you feel better and I want you to feel better." I couldn't get my words right, everything that I wanted to say wasn't working so I settled on the one main concern, her.

"I fucking hate this, I'm not _this girl_. I don't cry, I don't get emotional, I don't do relationships." I think I stopped breathing. Was she going to leave me? No, please no. "This isn't something I'm used to. I don't know how to act, I don't know what to expect, everything fucked." She was pushing away from me and the only thing I could think of was losing her. It hurt to think about and I wasn't going to let that happen.

"Don't fucking do this!" I basically yelled at her, not intentionally, but it seemed to be working. " Don't fucking make excuses and reasons for not being with me when I know you want to be. I know you feel something or you wouldn't have stuck around this long, you wouldn't have sent me a text in the middle of your shift to tell me you miss me. Don't fucking do this Mallory, I wont let you ruin this. I wont. You hated seeing me hurt tonight? Well I hated that you were in a room with a fucking creep and he was touching you, I hate that other men get to touch what's _mine. _ Yes, mine." I could see the fright in her eyes at my words. "I know it scares the fucking shit out of you to think about that but I know you feel it, I know you do."

I reached out and pulled her back towards me, making sure to maintain eye contact. Her green eyes were piercing through me as I continued, I wasn't about to let her walk away without me reminding her what we have.

"You try to be all tough and push me off like you don't need me as much as I need you but I know it's a lie. Its this front you put up so people wont get to know you and you wont get hurt but you don't fucking need it with me. I know you were crying when I was pulled out of the room tonight, I could see it in your face and then when I met up with you outside your eyes were swollen, I never want to hurt you like that. I need you to realize that I'm not going anywhere. I really don't want to lose you. "

"Fuck you. You don't know me! You don't know anything about me! I wasn't fucking crying alright? You can't just come in and think you can fix me! I'm not fucking fixable. I don't need you to help me or do _anything _ for me. If I'm such a fucking hassle you can just leave now. Get out! Leave!" She was screaming at me and I just stood there.

I wasn't going anywhere. I had made that mistake once before and I wasn't about to do it again. She wasn't going to be able to get rid of me that easily. I would do anything to keep her, anything.

"I'm not going anywhere, Mallory."

"Get the fuck out of my house!"

"No."

"Get out!"

"I'm not leaving you. I'm never going to leave you." I could see in her eyes the anger was leaving and being replaced by a new emotion that I hadn't seen before.

"Why? Why won't you just leave? Everyone fucking leaves me. I'm not a good person, don't you realize that?" The hurt was back in her voice. I hated it, I wanted to take it away.

"You're not a bad person, Mallory, you think you are but you're not. You're amazing. You're strong, smart, loyal, caring , beautiful and you don't take shit from anyone. I've never met anyone like you before and I never want to lose the feeling I get when I'm with you. " I decided that the only way I could try to calm her down and make her realize that I wasn't going anywhere was to really tell her how I feel. There was no other way that I could think of to fix things.

"You don't even fucking know me." She was still talking like she was angry but I could see in her face that I was making progress.

"I do know you , very well actually. I know what foods you love and what ones you hate, I know what music you listen to when your sad, I know that you smoke way too many cigarettes on a daily basis and you think no one knows. I know that you talk in your sleep . I know that you hate cold weather and love the sun. Shit Mallory, I could tell you things about you that you probably don't even know." It was true, I knew a lot about her because I was always watching her and listening to her and making sure that every detail about her was permanently in my head.

She was avoiding my eyes, looking at anything but me. I grabbed her chin and tilted her head towards mine. "I'm not going anywhere." I whispered and bent down and softly touched my lips to hers.

"I can't handle it if you leave. I won't be able to do it again." Her voice was cracking as she spoke, she was on the verge of tears once again tonight. I must really fucking suck because she kept crying around me.

"What do you mean baby?"

"Everyone always leaves me and you keep saying you won't…"

"I won't, I could never take myself away from you."

"You can't fix me Tyler, you know that right?" It's like she was trying to force me away from her, thinking that if she told me how difficult it would be that I would just run away or something.

"I'm not trying to fix you, I'll take you any way I can have you, I just want to have you." I leaned down and slowly kissed her forehead, then temple and made my way down to her lips. I kissed her softly, wanting to feel her lips against mine. She was the one to deepen the kiss by pulling my bottom lip into her mouth and sucking gently.

I put my hands on either side of her face and pulled her closer to me, it felt like I could never get her close enough. She wrapped her arms around my waist and dug her finger nails into my back causing me to moan into her mouth. This only encouraged her and she opened her mouth and let my tongue slide into hers. Our kisses got rougher as our hands explored, grabbing and digging into each others skin, always trying to get _closer._

I unzipped the jacket she was still wearing because it was getting in the way and I wanted it gone. I was extremely surprised to find her wearing nothing but the tiniest panties underneath, no wonder the coat was zipped up all the way. I tucked my fingers into her panties and tights pulling them all down and off of her body. She was standing completely naked in front of me and I wanted to take her right there.

She reached under my shirt and pulled it off, instantly going for my pants, getting them off in a hurry. I looked into her eyes and I could see the lust in them, she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

"Would you like to take a shower with me?" She looked at me from under her lashes, hiding those burning emerald eyes from my view.

Instead of answering her I turned the shower on and pulled her in with me. I wrapped my arms around her and stood underneath the hot spray. I could feel myself pressed against her stomach I began kissing her again and as I did I kept getting harder and harder. She could do things to me just by kissing me that I had never experienced before. I could probably get off just by kissing her but fucking her was so much more fun. She tangled her hands into my hair and pulled as our kisses became frantic in their need. We wanted each other so badly, we needed each other so badly. I took one hand and dragged it down her side and down to her pussy. I slid one finger between her folds and felt the wetness dripping from her. I couldn't help but think that I did this to her, I made her this wet.

"I want to feel you move inside of me, please Tyler." She mumbled this against my lips and she hitched her leg up over my hip. I grabbed her thigh and then the other and pulled her up so that her pussy was pressed against _me._ She was so fucking beautiful with her soaking wet hair and black ringed, emerald eyes.

"Say it."

"Say what?"

"Say what you texted me earlier.." I needed to hear her say it, hear her mean it. She hesitated before grabbing my face with both hands and tightening her legs around my waist.

"I miss you." Those three words seriously meant more to me than anything she's ever said. I know that may sound completely lame but when you have a girl who won't even really admit she's dating you this was a lot. She missed me, which means she liked me enough to miss me, which means she could at some point do more than _like_ me.

I lifted her up and slid myself inside of her slowly, painfully slowly, as I watched her face as I filled her. She closed her eyes when she felt my hips meet her body and let out a loud moan. Fuck, she sounded so fucking sexy. I pushed her against the shower wall, with the hot spray still hitting us and began to slowly slide in and out of her hot, wet pussy. It was so tight I couldn't think straight. I had to distract myself so that I wouldn't come so soon. She kept moaning and mewling at my movements. I bent my face down to her boobs and licked at her nipples, causing her to shiver and her walls to tighten around my dick. It felt fucking fantastic.

As good as it felt to go slow, I wanted it harder. I wanted to hear her scream my name. I started moving faster and faster, she grabbed my face and began kissing me. It was so intense, the feel of her pussy tighting around me with every thrust, her mouth assaulting mine as she bit my lip and sucked on it. She just consumed me with every action. I felt her start to climax and I went harder and harder. She cried out my name as she came and I watched her face, holding her up against the wall and pushing inside her trying to prolong her pleasure. I loved the way she screamed my name as she came, I loved making her feel this way.

"I'm almost there baby, I love the way you feel coming on my dick." I could still feel the aftermath of her orgasm and I wanted to make her feel that way again. I moved one of my hands to her ass and took the other and began rubbing her clit, she jumped at first but then kept pushing herself into my hand. She loved it and I loved watching her squirm at the sensations. "Come with me baby, please." I whispered as I pinched her clit and felt her walls tighten around me once again in orgasm. I thrust hard into her one last time as I came, feeling her pussy milk everything out of me.

I was breathing heavy and turned us so that I could slide down and lay in the bottom of the shower. I kept her on top of me and began rubbing her back as the hot water continued to come down onto us. I closed my eyes and focused on her deep breaths. I heard her mumble something into my neck and I tilted my head and looked at her, wanting her to say it again.

"What did you say baby?" I kept calling her baby and I didn't know what she thought of that but I loved it. She buried her face back in my neck and said the words once again, this time I had to strain my ears over the rushing water to hear, but I did hear it. She said something I never expected to hear.

"I need you too, you know."

**I am in LOVE with this chapter.**

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	13. Chapter 13 Tyler

**Hi everyone! The reviews for CH12 were amazing! Thank you all so much! **

**I wrote this chapter while listening to It will Rain- Bruno Mars (Breaking Dawn Soundtrack) and For Annabelle- Band of Horses incase you were wondering. I'm one of those people who needs to memorize all soundtrack songs before the movie whether I like them or not..its just what I do..and I needed another song so KStews rec. of For Annabelle became the second song in my playlist - Feel free to listen to them while you read this chapter if you want..or if you have songs that you feel go with my fic LET ME KNOW. Okay I'll stop ranting..read awayyyyyy**

TYLER

It wasn't another twenty minutes until we finally got out of the shower. At first I didn't want to move, I wanted to stay in this position and hold her, feeling her smooth skin against mine. I could touch her forever and never get bored, she had the softest skin that was so pale it was almost translucent. My thoughts kept going back to her words, replaying them over and over in my head. _I need you too, you know._

I didn't say a word when she said that. Truthfully I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to say. It didn't seem like she was looking for a response, more like she just wanted me to know. That and well, I was speechless. I was having trouble realizing that she had just admitted that she needed me. She finally fucking said it. I knew she felt it, I could just tell by how she acted with me sometimes but I had wanted to hear her say it. I had become so used to being with her when her guard was up, I could just see it in her eyes but now I could hear in her words that I was breaking that barrier down. I don't think it's that she doesn't trust me, I think she doesn't trust herself but maybe this would be a step forward instead of a step back?

I can definitely say that our sex life obviously doesn't suffer because of our baggage and commitment issues though. We have this insane chemistry that I couldn't explain, every time I'm around her I want to be touching her or kissing her. I can never get enough.

We'd fallen asleep shortly after getting out of the shower, I was still in a lot of pain and taking her against the shower wall probably didn't help. She may only weigh a hundred pounds but at this point I couldn't pick up a toothpick without it hurting.

Now I'm just laying in her bed with her wrapped around my torso, her leg is locking me to her while her arm is up around my chest. Her head is resting on my shoulder and her face is relaxed, her lips open just slightly. I'm afraid to move and ruin this moment. I really want to kiss her but I don't want to interrupt her sleep, she's so peaceful when she sleeps. It seems like it's the only time she's not anxious or stressing out or trying to find ways to get me to leave.

Its ironic really because sleeping is the one time that I can't control the nightmares. Sleeping is when I stress out the most, freak out the worst and I never wake up happy. I always feel like I've just gone right back to my depression state. That was when I didn't eat, sleep or talk to anyone. Back then It was almost like I was nothing to the world. I couldn't function or go outside, I just sat in my parents house and stared at the wall and tried so hard not to think. I hate even thinking about that time in my life although, I don't even think I'm fully out of that point yet.

She seems to pull me away from the darkness, keep me out of my depression. I don't know what it is about her but my mind seems to attach to her every move. I watch how her long legs move when she walks, how her lips are like pillows that press into a pout when she's thinking, anything she does I am enamored by and I cant get enough.

I couldn't even tell you how long I just stayed in that position with her, not wanting to move, listening to her breathing and loving the feel of her pressed against the side of me. She makes me happy, so happy. I didn't even realize that I could be this happy again. I didn't care that we fought, it seemed to be bringing us closer anyways. Its like we felt that we couldn't have a legitimate conversation unless we fought first.

I had my arm wrapped around her with my hand tangled into her hair. I felt her breathing change and I stared up at the ceiling, if she woke up I didn't want her to think I was creepily staring at her even though I had been for a while. I didn't need to freak her out and think I'm too clingy..which I am.

"Morning" she mumbled into my chest as she stretched her legs out making an adorable growling sound. I smiled and untangled my hand from her hair so that she could move more freely.

"Good Morning." I smiled at her, her hair was a mess and still damp from the shower. "You look beautiful."

"Oh god." She moved her hands to her hair feeling around at the matted mess. She tried running her fingers through it and they kept getting stuck so she just laid back down on my stretched out arm.

"I want to spend the day with you." I blurted out. Well, why not?

"Okay." She answered immediately.

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Is that okay? "

"Yes of course it is. I suppose I was expecting to have to convince you or something." Usually I would have to do a little more convincing when it came to things other than sex. She's definitely wearing the pants in this relationship.

We were silent for a few minutes both just laying there staring up at the ceiling. I wanted to say something or hug her or just do something but I couldn't think of anything, so I just laid there. She all of a sudden sat up and looked at me, in her eyes I could see her guard was up.

"I'm..fuck.. Tyler you know this isn't me. I don't know what you want me to say, you think I'm totally falling for you? That I'm so glad this is all _working out._" Obviously she was referencing last night.

"What? What are you even talking about? " Where was she going with this? I keep thinking everything's okay and then she just snaps and were back to square one. Its like shes fucking bipolar or something, I don't know what to do with that.

"I don't know..I just.." She was pulling at her hair with her fingers and leaning into her knees, almost as if she was trying to curl herself into a ball. That's something I do when I have a panic attack…wait, was she having a panic attack like I do? Mine are always related to my family, never our relationship. I never thought that would be what she goes through when she all of a sudden switches moods on me. Maybe I've been approaching this situation the wrong way this whole time?

"Mallory, breathe." I started rubbing her back and I could feel her muscles tense.

"Shhhh its okay. I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here and I'm not leaving." Saying this last night seemed to help her for whatever reason and I figured that it could help now. She was still tense and slightly pushing away from me. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know." She was mumbling into her knees and I could barely hear what she was saying. I just wanted to figure her out, I just wanted to make her happy.

"Please talk to me, I just want you to be happy. I'll do anything to make you happy, I swear. Just tell me what you want and I'll do it."

"What if I told you I never want to see you again?"She looked at me as she said this, her green eyes looked like ice. They were hard and I immediately froze at her words. She kept doing that to me, making me stop everything , making me feel like she was a piece of glass that I could easily shatter. Did this mean that she really didn't want me here? That she never wanted to see me again? Could I even do that?

"I would tell you that sucks but I'm not leaving." I couldn't do that, I couldn't leave her. I knew that deep down she was a huge reason that I wasn't falling back into a depression. Even with our ups and downs the downs were never as bad as what I've been through.

"You wouldn't leave?"

"No."

"Even if I lied to you and told you things just because I knew you wanted to hear them? Not because I actually meant them?

"So what you said last night you only said because you think that's what I want to hear? I mean I do want to hear it but I want you to mean it." If she was only saying that because she was trying to make me happy it would crush me.

"No…I really meant it." It took me a moment to realize that she was talking to me and not mumbling to herself.

"I'm confused Mallory, help me out here. What are you trying to say?"

"I don't want to hurt you." She still wouldn't look at me.

"Look at me." She turned her head and hid behind her hair as she looked into my eyes. "What I said last night, I meant it."

" I know you did." She was playing with the pillow beside her. "I..I meant it all too." She continued to look at the ceiling, avoiding my eyes.

"Mallory, look at me."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Tyler cant you see how scared I am? This fucking scares the shit out of me, you scare the shit out of me." She was back to pulling her hair. "I care about you, okay? A lot. More than I ever thought I would and definitely more than I have about anyone since I was young.."

She didn't finish her sentence but I knew she was talking about her dad. I could understand her pain, I knew what it was like to lose someone you love.

"It freaks me out at the same time it makes me happy. I'm just worried that you're going to all of a sudden realize you can do better and leave me." Her voice kept getting smaller as she spoke, she didn't see herself like I saw her.

"I'm never going to leave you."

"You say that but I just feel like one day you'll wake up and It will all click and I'll never hear from you again. I…I fucking need you. I hate that. I hate that I'm dependant on someone else..That you have the _power._" Her voice was full of annoyance and hurt. She didn't want to be dependent on me because she didn't want me to have power over her? I wouldn't want power over her, I just want to be with her.

"Mallory, you don't get it." I cut her off because she was working herself up over nothing. "I'm not perfect . I have more baggage than I care to admit and yet when I'm with you everything's okay. I can sleep through the night when your next to me, I can smile at random things, actually eat normally and not drink away my thoughts. " _Something I tended to do a lot recently._ "Somehow you make me better, you make me feel..alive again." I reached over and pulled her arms away from her face, the look in her eyes was similar to the one I saw last night, the one I'd never seen before. " Why would I ever want to be away from someone who makes me feel like that?"

"I don't know." A small smile played at her lips. She reached over and hugged me and I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her tight.

"You're never going to lose me, Mallory." I whispered into her ear. "I don't know how I can get you to understand that. "

She didn't say anything back and I'm not really sure that I expected her to. I knew this was hard on her, I knew she wasn't used to having someone be there for her and care for her. I knew that my advances weren't ones she was used to because they weren't sexual, they were intimate touches and kisses.

I mean If I said what I was thinking I'd really freak her out, I was completely falling for her. The fact that I was realizing that scared me, could I really be falling for her so quickly? Yes, I think so. She had done more for me in the past couple of weeks than anyone ever had. I knew at some point she'd see that I need her more than anything and there's a good chance it would scare her away for good. But I couldn't bring myself to care because my selfish reasons would always keep me near her, no matter what.

"What would you like to do with our day together?" I loosened my grip on her and pulled back. I figured that if I changed the subject back to something lighter it would help.

"I don't care." She seemed happier than minutes ago, lighter almost. Something I said must have clicked because she didn't seem as tense and I hoped that tense feeling wouldn't come back. Her stomach growled loudly and we both laughed.

"I'm thinking that food should be first on the list." I poked at her stomach and pulled her out of bed.

We ended up at a diner down the street that I come to a lot, mostly just for coffee and to think. Thinking about all those things I want to fix, things I want to change. We got some food and our conversation was light, the weather, food, random not important information. We were strategically avoiding talking about her work and because of that it was like the giant elephant in the room.

" I hated it." I randomly blurted out as she took a bite of her pancakes. I could see the confusion on her face as she chewed and swallowed the bit. "Seeing you in the club, I fucking hated it."

"Oh." She didn't know what to say and I didn't blame her. I was randomly voicing my thoughts in the middle of breakfast and they weren't exactly pleasant thoughts.

"I watched you dance. I was sitting in the back trying to decide whether or not I should approach you. I knew you didn't know I'd be there so I didn't want to freak you out. I didn't want you to think of me as.." _ a possessive fucking asshole who cant leave his prostitute girlfriend alone. _

"as what?" She took a drink of her coffee slowly, waiting for my response.

" Jealous, possessive, controlling, any of those would work here.." I was staring at the eggs on my plate as if they were the most amazing thing in the world. I couldn't look her in the eyes, I knew this conversation needed to happen and that's why I was bringing it up first. I didn't want her to think I was a coward, I could talk about difficult things, I could own my mistakes. I admit when I had done something wrong, I've done many things wrong in the past. She hadn't said anything so I looked up and she was staring at me, waiting. Fuck that meant she wanted me to keep talking.

"When he walked up to you I almost lost it. I couldn't stand to see him look at you like he was." I closed my eyes and shivered as I continued to remember the night. "Then watching you dance on him, fuck Mallory." I slammed my hand down on the table, shaking everything.

She jumped and her eyes began to look scared. I pulled my fingers into a fist and squeezed, trying to take the anger away, without taking it out on her. "I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"I could have fucking killed him at that point, I swear to you."

"But you didn't.."

"No." My voice was hard and cold. I couldn't get the images out of my mind of him touching her, her rubbing on him, on whats _mine._ "Then you fucking took him to the private rooms, you fucking went _there _with him."

I clenched my fists tightly, I knew she danced on people. I knew she was a prostitute. I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew she did things for money. I knew all of these things and yet seeing it happen, watching her go through with it, made it that much worse.

"Tyler, that's my j—"

"I know. I know its your job. I know its what you do, but it doesn't make it any easier ." I had tangled my hands into my hair and I was pulling as hard as I could. I was still in a lot of pain from the fight but for some reason I was going numb right now, I needed the pain to bring me back to reality. I needed her to know last night wasn't just some fight. I was trying to distract myself from getting angry at her, this wasn't her fault. This was something that I needed to come to terms with and soon if I wanted to keep her.

"I warned you about this." Her tone was careful but I could hear her warning. We both knew that if this bothered me, I'd known about it since we decided to start this. I pushed her to be with me, to be more than just a friend and I told myself that I could handle everything about her. Her job, lifestyle, baggage..anything that would come with her I would take. Why am I freaking out now then?

"Yeah, I know. You just..God Mallory you don't understand how hard last night was for me." I looked up and was met with those emerald eyes. "I fucking heard you yelling at him, I heard it. I'll never get that sound out of my head. I heard you trying to get some fucking douche bag to not touch you. I mean he would have fucking basically raped you!" She tried to talk over me and say he wouldn't but those body guards wouldn't have heard her, they were too far away. She would have been left in that room with that man, he could have easily over powered her.

" I've never wanted to hurt someone more in my entire life and _trust me_..that's saying something." She raised her eyebrow at the last sentence but I didn't feel like expanding on that.

"Then I fucking open the door and your standing there completely fucking naked!" I knew I couldn't yell in the diner so I did that awkward whisper yell that wasn't nearly as effective as I had hoped it would have been.

I put my head back in my hands and started breathing deeply. I needed to calm down and have this conversation with her, not freak out and yell because I couldn't control the fact that other men get to have her. Fuck them.

I didn't even know she had gotten up from her side of the booth until I felt her pushing against my hips, trying to get me to move in. I pushed myself closer to the wall, still avoiding eye contact with her. She wrapped her arms around my torso and placed her head against my shoulder. Having her touching me seemed to calm me down a lot but I still couldn't get the images out of my mind.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you." Mallory whispered into my ear, I didn't move, I wanted her to keep talking. "You wouldn't leave my head, everything I did I'd wish you were there instead."

"I texted you because I did miss you and I kept wanting to _dance for you, against you." _She missed me. She wanted to dance for me, grind on me. Me.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"But then I was there..and things didn't exactly go well." I tried to make my voice sound lighter but I was still pushing my palms into my face which ended up making me sound pissed off still.

"I'm actually..really glad you were there." She tangled her fingers into mine and pulled my hand into her lap. "I'm not sure what would have happened otherwise."

I took my other hand and cupped her cheek, those beautiful eyes of hers were soft and full of understanding. I leaned in slowly and brushed my lips against hers.

"You mean so much to me, I can't lose you." I mumbled against her lips without even thinking.

"I know." I was okay with her response because I knew I wouldn't get much more than that. I would just hope that it was enough that she knew how I felt and that I wasn't going anywhere.

"Tyler?" A voice yelled my name from across the diner. I broke away from Mallory and looked towards the door. The person was walking towards us in our booth.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." I said it loud enough that only Mallory could hear.

"What? Who is that?"

**Sorry for leaving you on a cliff hanger, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! I had to do it because of outlining purposes! Pretty please with sugar and sprinkles and cherries on top leave me a review/feedback/comments/predictions! I will try to answer any questions you have **

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	14. Chapter 14 Tyler

**PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! I'm sorry its taken absolutely forever to update. RL got in the way and completely took over my time to write. I got some good guesses on who the person in the diner was and I hope that you aren't disappointed with who it ends up being. Alright shutting up so you can read: **

Chapter 14

TYLER

"What ? You aren't happy to see me? " The smug look almost sent me over the edge. "No hugs for your old friend?"

I wanted to punch him. I want to get up and beat the living shit out of him. Did he really think he had the right to stand here and talk to me? After everything he's done? He looks the same as he used to years back. He has always been tall, muscular, with dark hair and always finding a way to get girls to eat out of the palm of his hand.

"You were never my friend, and you will never be my friend." I tried so hard to keep my voice steady. I didn't want to reveal how much red I was actually seeing at this moment.

"Oh, you've never stopped being so dramatic have you? "

"Dramatic? I'm fucking dramatic? You've got to be kidding me.." Fuck him. He was always here to fuck everything up , make my life a living hell. I started to stand up and realized that I was still sitting at a booth and Mallory was up against my side.

"And apparently you've also forgotten your manors, as you have yet to introduce me to this beautiful woman sitting beside you. " I wrapped my arm around Mallory, pulling her in close to me.

"Fuck off." He ignored me.

"Since Tyler doesn't want to be polite I will have to take matters into my own hands." He moved closer to Mallory and put his hand out as he spoke, I wanted him nowhere near her.

"Hello my name is Neil , pleasure meet you Ms…?" He leaned towards her as he spoke and she leaned towards me. I was about to say something when she leaned towards him, I wasn't sure what she was doing.

"I'm sorry was his 'fuck off' not a big enough hint for you to leave?" Her tone was sharp and I could see him recoil. "Where I come from it means get the fuck away, leave, no one fucking wants to talk to you oh and also no way in hell are you getting my name." She sat back against me obviously content with how she dealt with him.

"Wow, You're a feisty one, aren t you?" He winked at her. I clenched my fists, I hadn't come off the anger of last night and he's already tempting me again. "Trust me. You don't want to be with him, I would treat you so much better."

He was asking to fucking die right now.

"I guarantee there are things about him that you don't know. He doesn't like to talk about himself, never has.." He shook his head like he was remembering a funny joke. Except this wasn't funny and it was definitely not a joke.

"He has a bad past mystery girl, one that would give you night mares for weeks. You shouldn't be putting your trust in someone like that, you need a man to protect you. I am more than man enough to protect you…and please you." He added the _please you_ with a wink and leaned into her ear. His voice was soft and too flirtatious for my liking. I was still gripping Mallory and trying to stay in control of myself, come on Tyler. I couldn't let him get to me, I couldn't.

"Wow, do your 'I'm a man' lines always work to get you laid?" Mallory laughed as she spoke, breaking him out of his ego trip.

"Yes, usually."

"Well too bad because it looks like you'll be fucking your hand tonight. I'm not falling for your bullshit. Tyler is more man than you'll ever be, I fucking promise that."

"Oh you must be so good in bed, especially with that dirty mouth of yours." He wouldn't stop. I was focusing on my breathing. I couldn't let the anger take over.

I could feel Mallory tense up, she was about to say more but I stopped her. It wouldn't do us any good to get worked up in this situation. He was doing it on purpose, he wanted to get a rise out of me any way he could. I think he was figuring she would be an easier target.

"You need to leave Neil, you need to get the fuck out and you need to do it right now." I said with a calm in my voice that sounded foreign to even me.

"Oh come on Tyler. I'm just having a little fun. No one's going to get _hurt._" I closed my eyes tightly at the last word. He was taunting me in the fucking restaurant and Mallory had no idea what was going on. She didn't know my past. I didn't want her to have to find out about me from some asshole who I never wanted to see again.

"Are you getting angry now?" His voice had a mocking tone as he continued to taunt me. "Wouldn't want to make Tyler angry would I ? Then someone could get really hurt.."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't without giving into the violent side of me. I felt Mallory grab my arm and hold on, like she would be able to hold me back if I was motivated enough to move.

"Come on, lets go." I pushed her out of the booth and past Neil like he wasn't even there. I threw some money down on the counter at the waitress. She looked confused, as well as everyone else in the diner.

"Nice talking to you, Tyler! See you soon, mystery girl!" Neil yelled at us as I shoved the door open and took Mallory's hand as we headed down the street. I didn't have a direction I was headed, I was just trying to get away.

I didn't say a word as we walked. It must have been 8 blocks before Mallory tugged on my hand and stopped in her tracks.

"You have to talk to me." She wasn't mean about it but I could hear the urgency in her voice. She wanted to know what all that shit was about and I didn't blame her. The only problem was that I wasn't sure I would be able to handle her reaction to me. I wasn't a good person, Neil was right.

"You'll leave me." I know she will.

"You don't know that Tyler, don't assume. I just need to know what's going on with you. I don't get what just happened and I'd really like you to tell me so I don't find out another way. " She couldn't look at me when she spoke and I knew it was because this was uncomfortable for her as well. "If we meet up with him again, I want to be prepared. You're reaction to him obviously means there's more to this than some stupid guy shit."

"I know.." How do I do this? Fuck. I know I've been avoiding telling her about my past. It's pretty stupid actually because she's told me a lot. She tells me basically anything I ask her. She's never asked me about my past though. Fuck this. Part of me thinks it's because she was waiting for me to tell her. I guess I would always just make my mind believe that she didn't want to know and that she didn't care. That she'd run away if she found out what a monster I am. It made it easier to deal with the fact that I've been hiding it from her since day one.

I don't want to lose her. I just stood there and stared into her green eyes, trying to memorize them. If I was going to tell her anything about me, I needed to remember those eyes before I could lose them forever.

"Come on." I took her hand and pulled her with me once again. This time I had a destination.

It only took half an hour to walk to where I have avoided for years.

To anyone else they would think there was nothing special to this part of town. It was just a street corner.

I haven't been over here since_ then_ and I wasn't planning on coming back, but she needed to know.

"Where are we Tyler?" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, I was trying to go numb. I wanted to be able to tell her this without having a panic attack or crying.

"This is the place I killed my brother." I watched her face waiting for it to turn, waiting for her to see that I'm bad, waiting for her to leave me. She didn't flinch.

"What happened?" Her voice was barely a whisper. She didn't betray her emotions on her face, she kept it calm and that bothered me. I wanted to know what she was thinking.

"One of our friends from school was throwing this huge party over in Brooklyn. The piece of shit, Neil you just met, my brother and I were really tight back then and decided that we should all go but that we'd take my father's car. It would save us cab money and it all just made a ton of fucking sense then. He only used it when he needed to get out of the city for business so he really didn't give a fuck that we took it. He never cared where we went anyways. " I was watching her intently. There was people walking around us and cars driving by. I was barely aware that they were there, all I could see was Mallory.

"It was a great party, all our friends were there and there was a ton of fucking alcohol. We were planning on staying over so we were all completely fucking hammered. I don't think I had ever been that drunk in my entire life." My voice was hard and steady. I kept it monotone and continued to talk.

"Some fucking random kids showed up and Neil got into some fucking fight and the three of us got kicked out. The random kids got kicked out too and since we had nowhere to go the fight sort of followed us onto the street. I jumped in to help Neil, fucking asshole and my brother started getting into it too and it was getting too violent. I started to back down, I don't even know why but I just felt like it was getting to a point where someone would get seriously hurt. Michael would never have backed down from a fight and fucking Neil kept pushing it further. I ended up grabbing the keys from my brother, he was more drunk than I was. I somehow got them both to the car and since other kids had spilled outside from the party it was beginning to be more of a brawl. People were fighting to just fight at this point. I wanted to get out of there."

"They both kept asking me if I was okay to drive and I kept saying yes. Why the fuck did I say yes?" I was asking myself and she knew it. My eyes had glazed over and everything I was saying was coming from a place I didn't know anymore. I couldn't stop talking and yet I wanted to, so badly. I hated reliving this night. This is where my nightmares came from.

"Neil never ended up getting in the car with us. I was way to fucked up to even check to see where he was. I just remember getting in the car and driving away as fast as I possibly fucking could. I don't know how he got out of there or what happened to him. He says he can't remember but he woke up with some girl so he didn't give a shit, smug bastard. I wish I could say the same for me but let's just say getting back into the city for me ended completely differently." I walked away from her and faced the intersection, watching the cars drive by.

"I hit another car head on. My injuries were pretty severe and I was taken to the hospital immediately." I paused, my eyes looking at nothing, my brain replaying the events that occurred.

"Michael died instantly." I turned and looked into those green eyes that were right beside me. "I killed my brother."

She didn't know what to do and I could see it in her eyes. I knew she wanted to comfort me because the words I had spoken were ones that usually were accompanied by sorry and hugs. There was one problem with doing this, I didn't look like I wanted to be hugged. My hands were in fists, my eyes were hard and cold and I knew my voice was angry. I probably was scaring the shit out of her with how I was talking in such a calm and strong manor. I scared myself.

I hadn't actually told anyone the story of that night except the police. They of course arrested me and I almost ended up in jail for a while. Of course I didn't because my family is fucking rich up the ass and my father got me out of it. He somehow used his connections to get my on probation. God does he love to remind me how much he _helped me._

I will always regret letting him help me. I would have rather rotted in jail than be debted to him for the rest of my fucking life.

**Alright lay it on me. What'd you think? I've had this in my head since I started this fic. Its not how Remember Me plays out at all and I'm aware..but who wants the same old thing in a fanfic..its fanfic! Neil is NOT gone for good, he just got the ball rolling on Tyler finally fessing up to Mallory about his past. How do you think she'll react? **

**I'm trying to post the next chapter tonight but it may be tomorrow. **

**I love you all for reading this fic and reviewing and sending me your thoughts on tumblr and twitter. Its amazing and I am so in love with this world of writing fanfic :D You all make my day when I get new author/story alerts. I am forever thankful for that.**

**Follow me on twitter if you want to chat : teamhptwilight**


	15. Chapter 15 Mallory

**I know you were all concerned with how Mallory would react to Tyler telling her his background..I hope I don't disappoint..**

MALLORY

What?

He's serious.

I know I'm just awkwardly standing here staring at him and that he's waiting for me to say something..

But nothings coming out.

…

_Mallory say something._

Say Anything.

Blink, do something!

What the fuck do I do? I don't know what to say?

What would someone usually say in this situation?

_I'm sorry._ No. That doesn't even sound right and I'm sure he's heard it enough.

_It's not your fault._ No. He obviously thinks its his fault and there's no way I could convince him otherwise.

_Everything will be okay._ Yeah right. I'm not going to lie to him, it hasn't been alright since then and it probably wont be for a while.

_I didn't know._ Of course you didn't know Mallory. That's why he's fucking telling you right now.

I'm still staring at him.

I hate this fucking shit. I can't even breathe right now.

I feel like I'm looking at someone else because the man in front of me isn't the one I've been dating. This one is angry. His entire body is tensed up. His hands are in fists, turning white because of the tension. His eyes are black. They are hard and cold, as much as I want to look away I can't. I'm scared to go near him at this point.

I feel like I'm walking on glass and if I take the wrong step I'll break it all.

I still haven't said anything. Life is moving around us, cars on the street, people walking around us. We're standing on the street corner in the middle of the day.

Speak Mallory!

"I don't know what to say." I mumbled. Wow. Really glad I spent all that time thinking and that's all that came out.

I moved slightly closer to him, I wanted to be near him but his whole body language was saying get away.

"I want to tell you that its not your fault, that you didn't have another option, that you brother loved you and wouldn't blame you, but I know you won't believe any of it. You're completely set in stone with how you feel about this even if you are completely wrong."

"Completely wrong?" His voice was loud and harsh. I flinched at the sound of it. "You fucking think that I told you this so that you'd tell me I'm fucking wrong?"

"No..its just.."

"Fuck you Mallory. Fuck you. You don't understand this shit." He was yelling at me, full out yelling at me. I was barely aware that we were still on the street. It's like something snapped inside of him and I didn't know what to do.

"I understand losing someone that you love."

"Oh really? How did your father die Mallory? Huh?" He was pushy and arrogant in the way he spoke.

"Tyler you know how he died.." Now I was getting pissed, was he really going to bring up my dad?

"Right! You didn't fucking _kill_ your father! You aren't responsible for his death!" Tyler was gone. Whoever this person was, I didn't like. "You don't even fucking know me! You don't know what I've been through or what I've had to deal with. "

"You know what…you're right, Tyler apparently I don't." I screamed back at him and I walked away.

I turned around and headed back towards my apartment. I didn't look back, I didn't want to care.

I did care though.

Why did I Just yell at him like that?

Oh that's right because he's fucking attacking me for doing absolutely nothing. I didn't do anything.

I was trying to be supportive? Isn't that what girlfriends do? I don't fucking know. Why am I even in a relationship anyways. I mean the sex is fucking great but that's the only benefit I've seen so far..

That's a lie. Its unusually nice to have him around. I never thought I'd like having a man around to talk to and do things other than get paid to fuck or suck. He's become more of a best friend to me than anyone in my life.

I need him.

Yet here I am walking away from him when he needs me most.

Except I can't bring myself to feel bad. I just can't. The man I just walked away from wasn't Tyler. It was some fucked up version that I never want to see again. It was a version who didn't care about me and couldn't see what he was doing. It was like he was in a fog of red. He couldn't get out of it. I could see it in his eyes how lost he was. Does that matter though? Even through the fog he should know what hes doing right?

Fuck. He shouldn't treat me like that. I'm trying to fucking help him and all he does is shit on me and bring up my past?

This wasn't about me. This wasn't about my past. I've told him about that shit and I don't like reliving it over and over again just like he doesn't like talking about his.

I've never asked him about his past because I knew that it was probably pretty fucked. He always eluded to the fact that it was and I knew that if I pushed him that he would just get angry and probably never tell me. Now I feel like because of the Neil situation he was pushed into it anyways.

I've walked almost all the way back to my apartment and I haven't turned around once. I don't know where he is, or if he's following me. I seriously doubt he is though. He has no reason to. I have a feeling what just happened would be considered a break up to any normal couple. Does that mean that we're broken up?

Shit. What if we are? The thought makes my heart hurt. I haven't felt anything like this before, my entire body is caving in on itself, I can feel my breathing become heavier and harder. Are we really broken up?

As I walked up to my apartment building I stopped outside and just stared at the door. Do I go in? Or do I go after Tyler? I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for him but I'm having a hard time just leaving this situation alone. I still refuse to look back where I came from, I'm scared to think he'll be coming for me and I'm scared to think he didn't come after me at all.

Fuck this isn't me. I am not the girl who worries over men. I am not the girl who gets hung up over stupid things like this. I take charge and I do what I want.

I walked up the stairs and into my apartment without hesitation and up to my apartment. I opened the door and walked in quickly shutting it behind me. I didn't want to deal with Clara and all her fucking questions.

I leaned against the door, shutting my eyes tight. I felt like I was going to cry because the anger I had from earlier was wearing off. Stupid angry tears. Or maybe these were sad tears? Fuck.

_Get yourself together, Mallory. He means nothing._

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes.

I think my scream could have woken up the entire building.

"What do you think you're doing here!" I screamed at the man sitting on my couch. "Get the fuck out of my house!" _I didn't mean it. Please don't leave. _

"Don't you ever walk away from me again." His voice was a calculated calm but I could hear the anger behind it.

Tyler was sitting on the edge of the couch with his hands tightly grasped in his hair. I couldn't tell if I was talking to _my Tyler_ or the man I left in the intersection. I needed to see his eyes to tell for sure and he wouldn't look up.

"You don't own me! You can't tell me what I can and can't do you fucking asshole." As much as I wanted to run to him, the angry side of me was taking over. I couldn't help the words falling out of my mouth. I was mad at him, I really was. I was just realizing that I was also afraid to lose him.

"Fucking..Mallory. You cant..fuck..stop this shit." I didn't move. I didn't know what to do..again. What the fuck was with him and this unpredictable bullshit? He looked up and all I could see was black. This can't be good. "You never fucking get it do you! You don't understand me and when I try to get you to understand you fucking walk away!"

"You didn't fucking want me there Tyler, that was pretty obvious!" I walked towards him and he stood up. I wasn't wearing heels and his height overwhelmed me. He was towering at least a foot taller over me. "You know, when someone starts attacking your family that means they're a fucking asshole..so you Tyler Hawkins, are a fucking asshole. You never had the right to bring up my dad, I didn't tell you any of that so you could bring that shit back to use against me!"

I could feel the tears coming to my eyes, stupid fucking tears. I didn't need them right now. I needed to be strong. I needed him to realize he crossed the fucking line.

"Of course I fucking wanted you there! Why would I bring you there if I wanted you to leave me!" My blood pressure was back at its high point. I was fucking pissed off at him. He can't turn this shit around on me, no. I won't let him.

"How the hell would I know?" I threw my hands up in the air way more dramatically than I probably needed to.

"I brought you to the place I killed my brother, Mallory. I haven't been there since the crash. You think I fucking wanted to be left alone? You think your stubborn bitchy side could have held off a few more fucking minutes before leaving me?"

"Fuck you Tyler. I knew this couldn't work. We haven't stopped fighting or having dramatic moments since this shit started. "

"Are you fucking kidding me Mallory! You're going to pull this shit on me again?" We were both incredibly pissed off and yelling at each other, screaming actually. The neighbors could definitely hear and I didn't give a fuck.

I moved closer to him because my adrenaline was taking over and I was so fucking annoyed. Who did he think he was? He can't control me. He can't tell me what to do.

"Who the hell do you think you are! You can't control me Tyler! You never can and you never will!" I took my hands and pushed against his chest as hard as I could. I wasn't surprised when he didn't move, I didn't exactly have a lot of strength.

The next thing I knew his hands were wrapped around my arms, tightly. He pulled me to him so quickly I almost didn't have time to react. His lips were hard as he smashed them against mine. As he began to kiss me I realized this wasn't a caring kiss, this was angry and forceful. He was kissing me like he was trying to consume me, take me. With every kiss I could feel myself getting hotter and more turned on, I could feel the urgency and need. My panties we're already soaked.

He bit down on my bottom lip hard and I moaned, loudly. My hands went to his hair and grabbed as tightly as I could. He put his hands on hips and dug his thumbs in, it was painful and yet I was so aroused.

He backed me up and threw me against the wall. I stared at him, the anger from our fight still rushing through me. His eyes were still black but now I could feel the want, the need.

"You are so frustrating." He mumbled against my lips as he kissed me hard before pushing himself against me and pinning me to the wall with his body. His hands began to travel up my shirt and I was shaking with anticipation. I wanted to feel him everywhere.

I could feel his hardness pressing against my stomach but I was craving the friction lower. He pulled my shirt and bra off and his mouth instantly covered one of my nipples while he massaged the other. It was so quick I didn't have time to react; I gasped and moaned at the sensation. His mouth was hot and wet as he moved across my chest.

I pushed his head closer to me as he sucked and I felt him bite down. I tried to tell him to keep going but all that came out was a moan. I wanted to say _keep going that feels fucking amazing. _He must have realized how much I liked it because he switched to my other nipple and bit down again.

God I had no idea I loved it rough so much. Maybe it was the way he was with me, how his eyes would look me over with such want, how his hands were gripping me so tightly or how his mouth was sucking and biting hard. My entire body was on fire. Every time he would touch me I could feel the heat ripple through my body. I was pulling on his hair so hard and gripping his shoulders as tightly as I could.

I took my hands and pulled him up, I pulled his shirt off and threw my arms around his neck. My lips crushed against his and our tongues immediately began sliding against each other. I tried hitching my leg over his hip to get the friction I craved. He realizing what I was trying to do and grabbed my ass and pulled me up. I locked my ankles together and began rubbed myself against him.

He pushed me against the wall and began grinding against me slowly .I have never been into dry humping but this was hot. Our kissing was getting more intense as he moved, I wanted him to take his pants off. I wanted to fuck him.

I pulled my head away from our kiss so that I could breathe and he worked his way down my jaw and neck. He continued to move, teasing me with kisses. I could feel how wet my panties were. Every time he moved he would hit my clit and it felt fucking amazing but I wanted to feel skin.

Almost as if he had read my mind he dropped my down on my feet.

"Take your pants off." He demanded and I obeyed without hesitation. While I worked on getting my jeans off he had completely pulled his pants and boxers off and was helping me. I'm pretty sure I heard him mumble that I took too long.

He picked me up again, pushing me into the wall and thrust into me without warning.

"Now I'm going to fuck you, hard." My breath hitched at his words, I was so wet that he slid right in. He began pumping into me fast and hard. I was bouncing on him and hitting the wall with every thrust. He was focused and determined and his eyes were still black. This Tyler wasn't soft and caring, he wasn't trying to make sure it was good for me. He was doing this all for himself and I was giving into him. I would let him do whatever he wanted but not because he one of my customers but because I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted him to need me, to want me. I wanted him to know that I would be there for him any way I could and this was the only way I knew I could help.

I was panting and gasping as he pounded into me, over and over. His hands were gripping my ass, pulling me closer each time he entered me. His head was buried in my neck and I could hear his muffled grunts. He was getting lost in me and I loved it.

He started to kiss and bite my neck, I knew he would leave marks and I was glad. It would make me his in a way that others could _see. _I could feel my body tighten around his dick as he slid in and out, my clit hitting his stomach as I moved adding friction. I was moaning like a fucking whore and I didn't care. I felt drunk off his body. I couldn't keep my eyes open and I could feel my body going limp as my orgasm hit. I screamed his name and he never stopped. He kept going, harder and harder.

He pushed into me one final time as I felt him explode inside me. We dropped to the floor and laid down. He was still inside me and I couldn't bring myself to move. The rise and fall of his chest as he breathed was matching mine. We were both out of breath and tired.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and pulled himself out of me and laid me down beside him. We were a mess and still didn't move.

"What?" I was still coming off the high of my orgasm, my brain was still clouded.

"I'm sorry I was such an asshole to you today. I'm sorry I just used you to get off. I promised myself I would never do that. " He turned towards me leaning on his elbow. "I really don't have an excuse for any of it. The only thing I can say is today was a first for me. I've never told anyone that story. I don't talk about it because its still bothering me, I haven't gotten over it and it haunts me every chance it gets. Did you know I hadn't slept a full night until I started sleeping with you?" I didn't know this but he didn't give me a chance to say anything as he continued.

" I haven't been back there since and fuck.. Mallory anything you would have said wouldn't have been right to me, I would have freaked out no matter what. I just know it."

He closed his eyes and I leaned over to kiss him.

"I understand."

"No. You shouldn't understand because I shouldn't be forgiven. Everything I did today was horrible, I shouldn't have done that to you. I should never have said those things. I shouldn't have just taken you on your fucking living room wall"

" Tyler" I put my hand over his mouth so he would stop talking. "Stop. I forgive you and please do _not_ apologize for fucking me because that was absolutely insane. You can do that anytime you want. I love it when you take over." I winked at the end, trying to lighten his mood. It didn't work.

"You shouldn't. You should be running away from me right now. You never should have let me kiss you or touch you or do anything. I don't deserve you."

"Why?"

"Because! I'm not a good person Mallory. I know you think that I'm the only one that can get hurt in this relationship but I know you feel something with me too and I'm afraid that I'm going to be the one _who hurts you."_

Hurts me? I know I feel something for him but would it be strong enough that if he left I'd be hurt? 

_Yes, it would._

He could hurt me. He already did today when he yelled at me on the street and then back here in my apartment. I almost cried twice. I had a moment when I thought I would never see him again, when I thought we had broken up and he was gone for good. That was the worst feeling in the entire world. I never want to feel like that again. He had a hold on me now. Something I never thought someone would have because I have always stayed in such control of everything. With Tyler I have lost control. I've given him a part of me that I will never get back.

_I like Tyler.. a lot._

_I care about him more than I've cared about anyone in my life._

_I am completely afraid to lose him._

"I'm not going anywhere. You can't make me…I can't lose you. Today when I walked away and you didn't follow, I thought I'd lost you forever." I paused, remembering that feeling. " I hated it. I don't want to feel like that again. You said you don't want me to walk away from you again? Well I don't want you to let me go again."

He opened his eyes and searched mine. I noticed his were going back to their green-grey color. The black was leaving and I was grateful. Black eyed Tyler was hot as fuck when it came to sex but I missed _my Tyler._

"God I can't believe I just fucking said that to you..I barely admitted that to myself until just now."

"You have no idea how happy I am right now." He smiled and I was instantly happy. I couldn't give a shit that I had just told him exactly how I felt, it seemed right. He needed to hear that from me like I always needed reassurance from him. I had never thought of that before but he was always telling me how he felt. He was always giving me moral support in this relationship but I had never given it back. As scared as I was about this I needed to go all in, I needed to give him parts of me that I could. And I would do this because he _needed me._

"I have waited so long to hear you say what's going on in that head of yours. I don't know how or why you decided to finally tell me today but I'm fucking thankful for it." His smile disappeared as he took my face in his hands.

"I really am completely sorry for how I treated you today. I know you don't think it's a big deal, but it is. I never wanted to be that guy with you. I respect you and I.." He swallowed hard. "I'm not going anywhere."

**What do you all think? Did this turn out the way you thought or did I surprise you? **

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**Reviews are better than Tyler taking you against a wall ;)**

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	16. Chapter 16 Tyler

**Since I'm totally organized..not. I had wanted to go through and edit this but instead added about 2,000 more words. This means that you guys are getting this kind of unedited and I am sorry about that. Robgasm part of this is dedicated to you. **

**WARNING: I'm serving some lemonade ahead.**

**I hope you all enjoy it-thank you for reading. **

Tyler

I really do wish I could go back in time and change the past. I suppose everyone does though. I guess I just wish that I would have handled the situation differently. I could have driven down the street and stopped, I could have stopped at a hotel. I could have not driven anywhere. I could have called for a cab.._I could have._

Yesterday had me rethinking all of the 'I could have's' over and over again. The only problem was now I wasn't just thinking about them for the day my brother died but just for yesterday in general.

I could have been calmer. I could have told Mallory I'd be angry. I could have explained things differently. I could have let her walk away and not creepily sat in her apartment. I could have shut my fucking mouth and not said shit about her dad. I could have not taken her against a wall.

Now I was living with what I had done and how much I couldn't stand myself for even doing any of it. I really don't even understand how Mallory is still talking to me right now. I guess I've dealt with her issues sometimes with commitment and shit but that's not what this was. I was just a complete and total asshole to her and it didn't bother her like I was hoping it would.

Yes, she did yell at me and scream and push and I could see the anger but it wasn't at the level I was expecting. The second my lips touched hers she gave into me, she let me do what I wanted. That bothered me slightly. She always gave into men and their desires. I used sex against her and I definitely shouldn't have.

Its too late for that though. _I could have.._

I'm now walking into work and Mallory is back in bed sleeping. She probably doesn't even realize that I've left yet. I've been trying to adjust my work schedule around hers and so it never really interferes with anything but now we're getting into winter and the holidays and all that bullshit.

I hated this time of year for many reasons, the largest reason being that my parents would be on their worst behavior. They made the holidays a living hell for me since Michael died. Any birthday was an excuse to tell me what a horrible person I am, Christmas was full of screaming and always ended in me leaving. Thanksgiving wasn't something we even celebrated in our family but we hadn't for years. I'm not even sure why but my parents just weren't into it, they always went to their rich friends houses and would leave me and my brother to do as we wished. I hated New Years because they always throw a fucking party and make me attend and pretend I'm someone I'm not.

I'm not their golden child son, I'm a fuck up in my dad's eyes and my mom doesn't care. Mallory is the first person in my life, since my brother, that I feel like actually gives a shit about me.

Work would be good for me today, it would keep my mind distracted from all the bullshit that seems to go on. My face is still busted from fighting Mallory's client so my boss told me I wasn't allowed up front of the restaurant. He didn't want customers to see that the guy cooking their food could barely see out of one eye, had a busted lip with scrapes and bruises everywhere. I looked horrible.

Mallory had to work tonight and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I mean I was starting to get into it with her yesterday and we got fucking interrupted.

I need to talk to her. I need to tell her I don't want her doing that shit anymore. I will find a way to take care of her before I let some fucking asshole try to fuck her again.

I can't even think about it without my blood pressure rising. I know she's going to work tonight and I'm trying not to think about it. I can't think about her with other men. I can't think about her rubbing against them, touching them. I was shaking at the thought. I think it bothers me more when she lets them touch her. How does she not see that as a bad idea? It's not okay.

Those men don't go there to find a nice girl, they go there to fuck and they go there to get their fantasies fulfilled. I normally wouldn't give a shit but a lot of them are trying to fill my girlfriend.

I knew what I was getting into though, she told me so many times not to get into this with her because of her job. She won't want to just walk away because her boyfriend is fucking tweaking out about it. She's so fucking stubborn. I am too I guess..that doesn't help the situation. I need to accept it. She fucks other men. I dealt with that a while ago didn't I? No. I didn't. I pushed it to the back of my head while I dealt with heavier things at the time..like my brother's death. Now everything is out. She knows about my nightmares. She knows what a horrible person I am.

She knows everything about me, except the fact that I'm completely falling in love with her.

The one thing I want to tell her more than anything I cant because that will mean that I lose her, I will lose her and she will never come back. She's already told me she'd leave. I guess I could think of yesterday as insurance to the fact that she wont leave, but she will. I can feel it.

I'm pathetically distracted at work right now, all I can think about is Mallory. I've been here for almost six hours and I can barely remember what I've been doing this entire time. All I can think is that she will be leaving for work soon and I don't want her to. I shouldn't even be here, I'm far too into my thoughts to be around pointy objects and hot stoves. Plus, I'm pretty sure I just found a way to mess up boiling water for some pasta.

"Hey Sal! I need to leave early." I yelled at my boss across the kitchen. He shouldn't care, I mean I'm here all the time and at this point I'm just getting in the way.

"Tyler we're busy right now, you've got to be kidding me right?" Or maybe he will care.

"I need to leave." She will be leaving at five and its three right now. I want to get home and talk to her before she leaves. Well, maybe not talk to her. I need to keep my mouth shut. I don't need her to know how jealous I'm getting. I'm one of those clingy fucking boyfriends that doesn't want other men to stare at his girlfriend. Fuck.

I left without even thinking about what that could mean. My boss had said no. I should stay and work like I'm supposed to. Fuck that. When do I ever do what I'm supposed to? I walked to her apartment as quick as I could without actually running down the street.

"Mallory?"

"I'm in here!" I heard her yell from the bed room.

I walked in and saw her sitting on the bed. No. I'm not okay with this. She's wearing what couldn't even be considered a bra, because its see-through lace, with a thong and pulling on some sort of tights. The shoes she has sitting next to her are sky high and there's some cloth thing I think she thinks is a skirt there as well.

"Why are you getting ready so early?"

"I got called in, they're short dancers tonight." Right. Awesome.

"Oh." Yeah because that's exactly what I wanted to say..not.

I took a shaky breath before blurting out what I had wanted to say yesterday.

"I want you to quit your job."

"Excuse me?"

"I can't handle it."

"Excuse me?"

"I can't. I thought I could and I've been trying to hold back and not say anything for the past few weeks but its fucking killing me. I cant let you go tonight and wonder who you 'll be fucking and if that douche bag wil—"

"He wont." She cut me off. I couldn't really tell how she felt about my outburst, her face was composed and her voice was monotone.

"Oh because you fucking know he wont? What if some other guy tries to do that to you?"

"I have body guards."

"They don't fucking work Mallory!" I screamed. "I was the one who saved you incase you forgot!"

"I know you were the one but it doesn't mean it happens all the fucking time. I've had my run-ins with those types but I get myself out of it, every time. I would have been fine whether you were there to save me or not. " She was unusually calmer than me right now. I was freaking out. I couldn't see straight, she didn't have a problem with this?

No, of course she didn't have a problem with this, why would she? She has no reason to be, this is her job.

"I don't agree."

"You don't have to."

"Mallory, please."

"Tyler! We've talked about this before. You know I'm not going to quit my job because I'm dating you. You've known this entire time that this was what I do. I've been going to work all these weeks and you've never said a thing. I was wondering if there was something wrong with you or if you were just really good at hiding your emotions. I now realize it's the latter."

"What so you've been waiting for me to crack?"

"Yes."

"What the fuck?"

"You're very good at burying what your really feeling, trust me I know because I do the same. I could tell it was really getting to you the past couple of times I left for work and now after the whole situation..and" She gestured to my face. " I completely get why your tweaked out but…It doesn't change anything. The risks are part of my job. This is what I do Tyler."

"So there's nothing I can say?" Excuse me but when did she become the voice of reason? I thought I was the one who was good at figuring things out..?

"No." She said firmly. I was still fucking pissed off but what could I do? She didn't want to quit and I couldn't really blame her. We hadn't been dating that long and I couldn't just expect her to drop her life for me. I wanted her to though. I wanted to take care of her and..

Shit.

I left the room. I couldn't stand there and watch her get in all that lingerie and sexy clothing that I wouldn't be seeing her in. I wouldn't be the one to take it off, I wouldn't be the one to touch her.

Fuck. I need to stop thinking about this. She is going to work. To work. Going to do her job. Her job. She's going to get money. Make money.

Work. Job. Money. That's it. That's all it is.

I went over to the window and looked out at the people walking down the street, the cars, the lights. Anything to keep my mind off the situation. It wasn't working.

"I'm sorry Tyler." I felt her hug me from behind, wrapping her arms around me. "I really am. I know this is hard for you, I knew it would be. This is the reason I didn't want to get into a relationship in the first place, you know that. I hate to keep bringing that up but its true."

"Yeah." I'm really just not in the mood to talk about this shit. I don't even want to look at her because if I do and I see what she's going to look like to all those assholes..I may lose it.

"I'll be home late, no need to wait up."

"Alright." One word answers could get me far. I felt her arms fall down, off of me. I wouldn't have to make an actual conversation, which means I wouldn't get mad. I wouldn't have to turn around and face her and let her see how much this is bother in me either. I could just face the wall and hope she'd leave. Except I didn't want her to leave..

I wanted to turn around so badly, I could feel her standing there. She hadn't moved, almost like she was going to say something else. Or like she was waiting for me to stop being a stubborn asshole and talk to her. I didn't know what to do.

"I really am sorry." I could barely hear the words because they came out in such a low whisper. She sounded hurt and I instantly hated myself. How could I have thought that ignoring her and this situation would have helped me?

Treating her like this wasn't going to make her quit her _job_, it would make her quit _me_.

Now I'm panicking inside of my head, how do I fix this? I cant scare her away. I need to be more careful in when I decide to fight her on things because I know that it will result in her leaving.

"Sweetheart you have nothing to be sorry for. You're right." I turned around and put my hands on either side of her face. I could tell my voice was soft but still giving away the annoyance that yes, she was right. "I knew what I was getting myself into."

"Don't hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"Promise?"

"Yes Mallory, hate is definitely not the word I'd use to describe how I feel about you."

She smiled but didn't say anything about my words. Without saying anything else she left. She left me standing in her apartment. While she went to work. Fuck. I'm not over this.

I've been sitting in her apartment for 3 hours. She left around 330, instead of five, and its now almost 7 and I haven't moved from my spot on the couch. I've been staring at the blank TV screen and I'm not even interested in what that means about myself. I obviously am having trouble with this entire situation and I don't know how to handle it.

Maybe…no. I shouldn't. Its my only option though..I grabbed my phone and dialed.

"Hello?" Aiden picked up right away, like I knew he would.

"Whats up?"

"Nothing. What about you?"

"Let's go out."

"Did your stripper finally realized what a douche you are and left you?" His jokes sucked, but he thought they were hilarious. I heard him laughing before I even had a chance to respond. He knew me and Mallory had been hanging out and that we were dating but he never really asked much about it. I think its because the first few times he made jokes I'd snap back at him or just straight out punch him. I'm very protective of Mallory and I don't need anyone saying shit about her. Even if the person saying the shit is my best friend and room mate..

"Ha- ha. You're so fucking funny, seriously do you want to go?"

"When have I ever turned down an opportunity to go out?"

"Never."

"Exactly."

"Alright I'll be home in a little."

"I'll be waiting honey." He used his girly, mocking voice and hung up before I could say anything.

We ended up out at some bar that I'd never been to but apparently Aiden comes to all the time. Everyone here knew him. I've come to the conclusion that he's an alcoholic. There is no other explanation for his vast knowledge of bars, clubs, alcohol and strippers. Fuck, without his knowledge I wouldn't have met Mallory so I suppose I'm grateful in a way.

I was on my sixth beer and definitely feeling it. We were sitting right up at the bar and every time my beer would get slightly lower than half full another one would magically show up and Aiden would tell me I had to drink it.

I swear I have the alcohol tolerance of an eighty year old man right now with how drunk I am. I used to be able to put down ten beers without a problem, now I'm downing my sixth.

I looked over at Aiden who was seducing the woman beside him, he always had to bring someone home. When I looked back at my beer the magic had happened, there was another one sitting right beside it.

"Hello" A woman's voice came from my right side and I turned to see a very pretty brunette looking at me.

"Hello to you as well." I'm pretty sure I just slurred, stupid magic beer.

"What are you drinking?" She leaned towards my drink, which made her push her chest against my arm. She was pretty, she reminded me of Mallory in a way.

"Magic beer." Yup, I'm drunk.

"Magic huh? Think I could get one of those?" She touched my arm as she spoke. Instead of denying her I thought of a brilliant idea! I grabbed the second beer that was now sitting next to my almost empty one and handed it to her. There! She could drink the damned thing and I could stop. I didn't need to black out tonight.

"Thanks…" She was fishing for my name now. Except I'm not interested.

"I have a girlfriend, she's beautiful." Fully slurring my way through this conversation.

"Oh alright. Well if anything ever happens with your girlfriend, give me a call." She slid her number on the bar and walked away. I just grabbed it and put it in Aiden's coat pocket. He'd have way more fun with her than I would anyways.

I hadn't been thinking about Mallory that much tonight, Aiden was doing a good job of keeping my thoughts away from that. We talked about sports and work and the weather and all his excursions but never Mallory. It was nice because I knew the moment we did I would break down.

Now that he was occupied with that woman and some brunette came by, my thoughts began to wander. I wondered what she was doing right now…was she thinking about me?

How long had she been at work? Wait, I wasn't even sure what time it was? What if she was already home and I'm out getting drunk at some fucking bar.

"Aiden! What time is it?" Yes, I was definitely drunk. I used my very loud "I'm drunk and can't gauge how loud my voice is till after I speak" voice and now half the bar is looking at me.

"Uhh it's 1." He mumbled and turned back to the woman.

One in the morning. Okay, so Mallory would still be at the club till at least three or four. Sometimes she would be there till five or six, I hated those nights. I would get so worried something happened to her.

I wanted to see her. Maybe I could just stop by. People do that right? They go and visit people at work? Yes they definitely do that. Boyfriends do that. I'll go and visit her at work..and bring her something. What could I bring her?

Flowers! I'll bring her flowers because girls love flowers and I'm her boyfriend. Yes.

I got up and left. I think I heard Aiden yelling for me but I'm not sure. He was probably too attached to his _friend_ to notice.

I started walking towards the Onyx when I realized I had extremely underestimated my drunken state. Sitting down, I felt drunk. Walking, I felt completely smashed. I had to focus on walking straight and not running into other people or lights or anything else that was on the sidewalk. I never realized how many things were actually on the sidewalk until tonight.

I saw a Duane Reade up ahead and stopped in there, they would have flowers! When I walked in I saw that they had a bunch set up by the registers. There were too many options.

I didn't know which color to get her? Pink? White? Red? Didn't colors of flowers mean something? Shit, types of flowers meant something too. I didn't know what any of it meant I just wanted to get her something. I grabbed a bouquet of roses in pink and red, that would be okay right?

Fuck it, they were flowers. I thought they were pretty and that she'd like them and that's all that matters. She's not going to get all _what does this mean?_ When I bring them anyways.

Walking up to the club with a bouquet of flowers was..awkward. I looked like I was the creepy guy who had a crush on one of the dancers and wanted to be all sweet and give them some shit and hope they'd fall in love with me. One of those guys who never gets laid unless they pay a prostitute.

No I'm not that guy. I'm the guy who's dating one of the dancers and fucking them on a regular basis..but I am trying to get her to fall in love with me.

I walked into the club and immediately started to try and find her. There were so many people here and yet it wasn't hard. I would be able to spot her anywhere with those legs. She was swinging herself around a poll in the middle of the room. The spotlight on her skin made her look like porcelain. She looked..perfect.

I walked right up to the edge of the platform her poll was on and stood there, flowers held down at my side. It came up to my chest which made her dancing above me. I could see all of her, I was mesmerized by her movements, the way she wrapped herself around the poll. Her legs were long and slender as she wrapped them around the poll throwing her head back and sliding down slowly. It was incredibly erotic. I was getting hard just watching her.

She hadn't notice me just yet, I was kind of behind her and the platform kept people about ten feet away from the poll on all sides. She was focused on another man on the other side who was stuffing money into her bra. I wasn't breathing. I hated that he was touching her and yet I knew I couldn't make another move. I had to be on good behavior. I was here to see my girlfriend at work. Work. She's working. This isn't real.

She turned around, realizing that there was someone else at her platform and her stare turned into a large smile immediately. She crawled over to me and threw her arms around me.

"What are you doing here?" She sounded so excited.

"I came..to see you." I sounded pathetically drunk, which I was so..

"Are you drunk?"

"Maybe."

"I'll take that as a yes." She laughed and sat on the edge of the platform, putting her legs on either side of my chest and locking her feet behind me.

"I went out with Aiden to have a few drinks and they kept giving me magic beer."

"Ahhh Aiden. I knew there was something more to this." I could see the money coming out of her bra and it bothered me, I looked down to get away from the sight and saw that there was some coming out of her skirt thing.

I reached out and took the money out of her skirt and out of her top. She didn't move, she let me do it. That surprised me. I figured she would be protective of her money but I suppose she wouldn't be with me. It's not like I was going to steal it from her.

"Will you bring that home with you?" She asked me as she leaned forward and started kissing my neck. It felt really fucking good.

"Yes." I didn't want to talk about it or I'd lose it. Men had put this in her clothing because she had done _ something_ for them. I fucking hated that. This money was tainted to me, useless. I'd rather throw it away, but I wont.

"Would you like me to dance for you, Mr. Hawkins?" She whispered in my ear before dragging her hands down my chest and skimming them over my dick. I was already hard from watching her dance and she definitely noticed.

"If you'd like to." I had said that I wouldn't push her into anything sexual anymore, I didn't wan tto take advantage of her or do anything that would seem forceful. Although, I don't think any part of our sex life has ever seemed forced I wanted to be careful.

"Help me down?"She pushed herself off the platform , keeping her legs locked around me and put her arms around my neck.

"Where are we going?" I put my hands on her ass and pulled her closer to me, almost crushing the flowers.

"Private room."

"I don't have any money."

"Its fine. " I didn't know why it was fine but I wasn't about to argue. I wanted her to dance for me and I wasn't about to complain about payment options in a private room.

We walked, awkwardly, towards the private rooms. I was still holding her and had to look around her to see where I was going, plus I was still drunk.

When I put her down in the room I held out the flowers to her. I felt like a five year old boy giving flowers to his girlfriend, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"You brought me flowers?" Her eyebrows were scrunched up as she spoke, she didn't want them?

"uh..yes?" I answered in a question because I didn't know what else to do.

"Really?" She sounded genuinely surprised. " No one has ever bought me flowers before." She was hesitant on grabbing them as I continued to hold them out. I realized that of course she would be slightly freaked out by this gesture, it was intimate in its own way. I was giving her flowers, roses for gods sake! Note to self, don't purchase gifts under the influence ever again.

"Yeah you can just..give them away or something..you don't need to keep them." I stumbled over my words, I didn't want her to think she had to take them. I was trying to give her an out.

"No!" She yelled at me quickly. " I want to keep them."

"Okay." I put my coat down and laid the flowers on top. "you can take them after you dance for me." I didn't want her to forget, I wanted this. I always wanted her.

She took my hand and pulled me over to an oversized chair in the room and pushed me into it. I sat there and watched her intently.

She started moving, swaying to the music that was blasting through the walls from the main room. I slowly raked my eyes up and down her body. She was so tiny and skinny and pale, she looked like she could break so easily and yet she moved with such grace.

She was standing a couple feet away from me with her legs spread apart circling her hips over and over. She dropped down lower until she reached the floor and then slowly came back up.

She started to brush her body against my legs, getting closer to me with every move. I kept my arms at my side,not sure if I should touch her or just watch her. I watched her take off the skirt before she turned around completely and bent over, giving me a great view of her ass. She reached her hands back and spread her ass cheeks giving me an even better view before slapping herself hard. Holy fuck she just spanked herself. She looked back at me with those emerald eyes and I was about to take her right there.

She turned around and kept moving closer and closer, her hands were moving all over her body. They were rubbing her boobs and brushing her stomach as she got more into it she started to rub her pussy. I was so hard just watching her touch herself and dance on me. I never realized how extremely hot this would be. She reached behind herself and took her top off and continued the slow torture of rubbing and pinching her nipples. She leaned forward and rubbed her boobs from my crotch up to my face as I sit in the chair with my hands on my sides. I wanted to touch her but I kept still. She pressed her thigh into my crotch and started moving it in circles to the beat. I wanted to massage her pussy, see how wet she was. Her nipples were tight and her hands were now traveling my body. She put her hands on my neck and ran her fingers delicately down my body - over my chest, stomach, waist, thighs. She kept grazing over my dick but never stopping for long. She knew exactly what she was doing to me. I wanted to fuck her over this chair.

She backed up from me and I was worried that she was going to stop, but I was wrong. She took off her skirt and tights and stood there in the thong I had seen her put on earlier. She then took her knees and wedged them between each of my legs and the chair, opening her pussy to my dick as she began to rotate and grind against me.

This was my girlfriend. I'm so fucking lucky. She's hot as fuck and I want to fuck her right now.

I finally took my hands away from their place at my sides and gripped onto her hips. She licked her lips and brought her face down to mine. I quickly began kissing her, shoving my tongue in her mouth without warning. She seemed to enjoy it because I heard her moaning into my mouth.

"Can I fuck you over this chair?"I mumbled into her mouth, I wanted to make sure she was okay with it. I wasn't going to be that asshole again.

"Why the fuck are you asking? Please just do it."

She got off me quickly and took her thong off, leaving her completely naked. I took off my shirt and went to unbutton my pants but noticed she had already done so and was pulling my boxers down. I grabbed her face again and kissed her hard, biting her bottom lip before turning her around and bending her over the chair.

"What do you want me to do you Mallory?" I wanted to hear her say it, I'm not sure why..maybe the possessive side of me had come out.

"Fuck me Tyler." She almost yelled at me. "Fuck me over this chair until I scream."

I took one look at her before slamming myself into her wet center. She moaned loudly and gripped onto the chair harder as I pounded into her from behind. I had my hands on her hips and I was pushing myself into her over and over. Part of me knew I'd probably leave bruises on her hips but the alcohol in my system along with the feeling of fucking her was pushing that thought away.

I reached my hand around and began rubbing her clit while thrusting into her hard. I could feel her coming close to climax. I wanted to get her good, I wanted her to scream my name. I took her clit between two fingers and began pinching and twisting around, she was writhing under me. I kept going until I felt her muscles clench as she started screaming out as she came on my dick. I let myself go as I felt her orgasm subside, letting myself come apart inside of her wet pussy.

**Okay I'm serving up some serious lemonade here but I felt that it was necessary. Tyler and Mallory solve things through sex even when they probably shouldn't..**

**What'd you think! Please let me know! I love hearing feedback from you all! Reviews are better than giving Tyler a lap dance! **

**THANK YOU for the reviews and for all of you who have added alerts for this story! I am still amazed that you love my Tyler and Mallory as much as I do!**

**SPECIAL Thank you to NabStew for her amazing edits & creating a whole new look for my tumblr! You're the best! I hope that you can continue to make me edits for this fic because I love them so very much!**

**IF YOU ENJOY READING THIS FIC please help me out and recommend it to others! **

***hugs* for all you readers.**

**Oh and Charlie, I know you'll have something good to say about this..can't wait to read it. **


	17. Chapter 17 Mallory

**I have been carefully planning out these next few chapters..things are going to happen and I want it to all go perfectly. Obsessively listening to Haunted by TSwifty while writing this for no apparent reason but if you'd like to do the same while reading this..go right ahead.**

I've been sitting in my room staring at the glass vase on my nightstand for the past hour. I dont know what I'm doing or why I'm even still here. I should probably be out doing something right? No. I dont have any work tonight so I have no where specifically to be. Tylers working so I'm free to do as I wish. Apparently I wish to stare at the flowers he gave me last night.

They're pretty just sitting there in that vase.

They're so delicate and easily broken. Almost like our relationship.

Pink and red roses. What the fuck is that supposed to mean anyways? I mean really. Roses? No one has ever given me roses and even though I'm throughly freaked out by them, I cant stop looking at them.

When I saw that he was holding them my whole body had tensed up. I wasnt sure if he had brought them for me or what. I mean I suppose looking back on the situation now, who else would he have brought them for? There is no one else that he should be giving roses to, just me. That slightly scares me.

I have always been repulsed by the idea of a man buying a woman flowers. Its demeaning. All your doing is trying to make up for something or some shit so you buy her something that is going to die in a few days. I mean it dies so quickly and yet its supposed to represent love?You dont buy a man flowers so why the fuck would a woman want them?

I know why. At least I think I get it now.

They mean that hes thinking of you, that he wanted to show you that he cares, that he wanted to bring you something pretty because he thinks your pretty.

Although, sometimes they can mean other things too, which in Tylers case may be true. We didnt exactly leave each other on the best terms when I went to work last night. It makes me wonder if he meant them as a sorry. If he did, I dont know how I feel about them. Oddly enough I'd rather they be 'just because' than 'sorry I fucked up'.

When I saw how small he seemed to get when I noticed him holding the flowers I panicked. I didnt react the way he had probably thought I would, in his alcohol induced state, and I felt horrible.

I didnt want them, but I didnt want someone else to have them, not even the trash can. If they were meant to be mine, then they would be mine and that was all there is to it.

Its almost like my jealous, posessive side decided to make an appearance without asking me. Now here I am staring at the flowers and wondering what the fuck they mean.

They are so very pretty though.

I couldnt even tell you how long I just sat there staring at them before my mind finally realized what I should be thinking about.

He wants me to quit my job. He wants me to stop dancing on other men. He wants me to stop fucking them. He wants me to stop doing things for money.

Of course he doesnt want me to do those things. He wants to be the only man I am with. That makes sense, right? Of course it does. The only problem is that he wants me to just quit my job for him. We havent been together that long.

From an outside perspective I see two sides.

One side is that I am a prostitute and if I was going to be dating someone, I should stop. I should have respect for them in the relationship and quit my job. I should find something respectable that he could go home and tell his mommy and deal with that shit. I may not make as much money as I do now but I would have him.

The other side that I see is that we havent been together that long, why would I change my life for him? I shouldnt pack up my lifestyle because hes insecure about me going off and fucking other men. It isnt insecurity though. I know it isn't and thats my problem. He doesnt want me doing that shit because he cares about me. He wants me to be his, and only his.

Now the problem is that I need to make an actual decision about what I want to do.

Do I want to quit my job?

No. I dont want to.

Why dont I want to?

The rum I kept in my cabinet by the fridge was almost gone. I had thought that having a little would calm me down enough to make a decision and go through with it.

Now I'm fucking drunk.

I don't even care that I'm drunk. Fucking decisions are making my head hurt and I just want to curl up into a ball and disappear. I dont want to hurt Tyler, I really dont. I just dont know if changing my life for him is the best decision. If anything were to happen with our relationship I would be absolutely screwed.

I'm stuck between thinking with my heart and thinking with my head. I know I care about Tyler. I know I need money to live. I dont want to have to depend on him for things that right now I depend on myself for. I'm not even sure he would be able to support me in any way.

What do I really want? I'm not even sure anymore.

Tyler has taken my world and throw it off balance, I dont know which way is up and which way is down.

I have never had any problem doing my job and taking the money. Its never been an emotional attachment. I have told myself for years, sex isnt emotional. Sex is sex.

I dont go to the club hoping for an emotional attachment to a man. I dont cum screaming his name because I care about him, I do it because its my job.

Sex means nothing.

It does mean something though. Sex has become something that means something to me. When Tyler is inside me, moving in me, we're in that moment together. Its just us. I feel so attached to him. When I'm screaming his name its because I want to, because I want him to know that hes doing this to me. Hes the one giving me pleasure.

I took another large drink of the rum in my hand and felt the warming sensation hum throughout my body.

Hes completely fucked me up. This isnt the Mallory I know.

I know that I need to make a decision and I need to do it quickly.

I fucking hate this shit.

I have to do something and I have to do it tonight.

I'm going to have to make the hardest decision of my life.

"Sweetheart what are you doing?"

His voice broke me away from my thoughts. I wasn't even sure what I was doing so I didnt know how to respond. I was sitting on the floor in the kitchen staring at the cabinet in front of me. How did I even get here? I'm seriously not sure . I tried to rewind my brain so that I could figure out how I got here and nothings coming. I looked around me and noticed that theres coffee grounds everywhere, as if i've spilled them. Did I try to make coffee?

Fuck my entire body feels like jelly. I had been drinking..am I still drunk?

"Um.." I looked up at him and he looked worried. I probably looked like a mental patient sitting on the floor of her kitchen staring at absolutely nothing and not even able to come up with a good excuse for why i'm doing such things. Oh and the fact that I am sitting in coffee grounds probably does not help my cause. Yes I am definitely still drunk. It wouldnt have been that long since drinking that rum if hes just getting out of work. I cant even do the math right now, what time is it?

"Did you hurt yourself?" Oh so he thinks I fell and hit my head and thats why I'm here.. Did I do that? No.

I want to just say what I'm thinking ; Tyler your girlfriend is just having a mental break down because you brought her roses, she stared at them all day trying to figure out what they mean and now shes contimplating her future..all because of you. Oh and she may have drank a large amount of alcohol in hopes that it would help her make the decision, it didnt.

I keep looking around at everything but him, I cant look at him yet. I cant even get my thoughts straight how I am i supposed to be talking to him. He has no idea that any of this is going on in my head though. He doesnt know that I've been thinking about last night. When we got home from the club after my special lap dance I put him to bed with a kiss. It was almost silently agreed that things were back to normal even though inside I know we btoh realize that they are not back to normal, we are not a normal couple.

"No I just spaced out I think, sorry." Please God, dont let me be slurring.

"Why are you saying sorry? You have no reason to say that. Let me help you clean all this up." He grabbed my forarm and pulled me up with ease. I couldn't pull myself out of this haze I seemed to be in. I couldnt place the emotion that was associated with it either, I was just a blur. I watched him as he knelt down and began to clean up the coffee but I did nothing. I kept telling myself to help but I just stood there.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He threw away coffee grounds and turned towards me wrapping his arms around my waist and i didnt move. I just stared at him. "DId I do something wrong?"

He backed off when I didnt respond to his jesture and I immediately felt horrible. He thought I was pushing him away. Wasn't I doing that though? I wouldn't talk to him. I wouldn'd move. I wasn't responding to him in the way that I normally did. What was this? I took a deep breath and let it out.

"Have you been drinking?" His face changed instantly into confusion.

I thought back to the hours before, what I had been doing..thinking.

"Yes." I had been drinking, a lot. I knew that I had to make a decision and that it was going to suck to make but I had to. I had to take control of my own life and do what I wanted.

"Why?"

"Does it matter?" I tried to come off confident and I'm pretty sure I slurred through the entire thing. I felt like I was inside my own body watching myself act one way when I wanted to act another.

"No but I was just wondering, did you fall because you had been drinking?" Yes, probably.

"No." I pushed away from him completely, almost stumbling and started walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I-I have to go do something." I knew exactly what I had to do. I needed to get out of this apartment as fast as I could before I told him what I was about to do. He didnt need to know. I would come back after and tell him and hopefully he would accept it all.

I walked out of my apartment leaving him staring at me like I had ten heads. He looked worried but I couldnt think about that now. I had to think about myself, what I was going to do would be important. It would need my full attention and I would need to stay focused.

Walking to the club I sobered up a good amount. I was still pretty buzzed but I wasnt completely drunk anymore. That was definitely a good thing.

I walked into the club and headed straight for the offices in the back. No one knew there were there except for the people who worked here and the few customers that had been assholes enough to actually end up back there. Once they were back there, they didnt come out until they had been taught a lesson. Lessons usually consisted of beatings. I hated being back here but I knew my boss would be here.

I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer the door.

"Yeah?"

"I'm here to talk to Max." Max was the boss of the place. He keeps track of everyone and makes sure that we're all where we're supposed to be, doing who and what we're supposed to.

"Come in." The body guard let me in and shut the door quickly behind me.

"Mallory! How are you doing this fine evening?" Max loved me. I made him a lot of money and I had a lot of customers. Thats what would make this entire situation that much harder.

"Fine." I responded without much emotion. I knew what I was going to say next and I knew there was a chance it wouldnt work out well.

"What can I do for you?" He said suggestively. Yes, I had fucked him before. I had done a lot with him actually but it was only ever to keep him happy and keep me in the good spots of the club. I wanted to make money and he helped me do that.

"I need to stop."

"Stop what?"

"Stop dancing." I paused gauging his reaction. "And everything else I do here."

"Excuse me?" He didnt sound angry and that scared me, it was like the calm before the storm. I was waiting for him to slap me or something and tell me that I'm a crazy bitch for thinking that I could get out of this business now, now that I'm so profitable. It didnt come.

"I want out. I dont want to do this anymore."

"What exactly has made you change your mind about this lifestyle? Is it that man who keeps coming around?" He lit a cigar and slowly inhaled before blowing it out into the air beside him. "The one who attacked one of our clients because he was doing..whatever..with you. It was completely unnecessary. I should have him put on the black list for doing such things."

He knows about Tyler. Fuck.

"If it is that man I want you to think hard and carefully about what this could mean for your future. You're going to give up all the money for a..client?"

"He's not a client."

"Ah I see. Well I'm denying your request to quit. You make me far too much money for me to just let you go like that."

"Denying? You can't deny someone when they quit. They're quitting.." I'm beyond confused he thinks he can talk around me? Asshole.

"I am your boss in more ways than one and you've known this." I was frozen in place. What could I do now?

"I'll do anything else you want, just no more dancing and fucking for money. I want out of the prostitution. Let me the fuck out Max."

"Well let me think..what else could I do with a sex kitten like you?" He smirked at me while he stood up and started walking around his desk towards me. I was scared but I didnt move. I didnt want him to think that he could intimidate me.

"I know what you can do for me. I have some people that are bringing me a delivery of sorts tomorrow night and I need someone to go and pick it up. It need to be discrete and go very smoothly. Do you think you could do that for me? " He stood closely at my side and wrapped his hand around my lower neck, touching my collarbone.

"Yes." I answered without even thinking. I just agreed to do a drug deal for him. I know thats what it is because I know we deal a lot of hard shit around here. I didnt even think about how bad this situation was, I would just do it and then he would let me quit. He would let me go.

"I knew you were a smart girl. Come back here tomorrow at 6pm for the details." He turned around and the bodyguard came over and grabbed my arm. I was escorted out of the offices and left alone.

I took a deep breath and thought about what had just happened.

Tyler wouldnt have to worry because I wasnt fucking anyone anymore but I would still be making a little more money before having to figure out something else to do with my life.

Everything would be okay. It would all go smoothly and quickly.

Tomorrow night I would go pick up the order and bring it back here and leave. Forever.

I walked out of the club and back towards my apartment. I couldnt feel the buzz of the alcohol anymore and Ifigured it was probably because my adrenaline had taken over and killed it off. I didnt really care either way. I felt sort of numb.

I didnt know what I was going to do now. What had I just gotten myself into?

I cant tell Tyler about the job I have to do tomorrow, he wouldn't want me to go. He would try to go with me and that would be bad. I couldnt let him do that. I needed to just keep it to myself and maybe after I could tell him. Maybe.

Right now all I was about to tell him was that I quit my job. He would be happy, ectatic probably. If he asks me about what I am going to do now I'll just make up some shit about looking for a new job, I will have to do that at some point anyways. I was just hoping that tomorrows job would get me enough money to last through..whenever.

When I got to my apartment door I thought about how I had left things with Tyler, would he be mad at me? Worried? I was scared, I could feel that pit in my stomach telling me that I had fucked up. I hadnt handled the situation correctly.

Is there really a good way to handle that type of situation though? I mean I was going to quit my job for this man and I didnt want him to have any last comments before I did so. I didnt want to change my mind.

I opened the door and carefully stepped in. I dont know why I was sneaking around my own apartment, if he was here I would have to talk to him soon. Its not like it was the big in here.

"Mallory?" I heard him yell from my bedroom.

"Yeah its me."

"Where have you been I've been so worried about you!" He came into the living room and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"I had to go do something." I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"You said that but where did you go? I almost followed you." He whispered the last part, almost like he didnt want me to know.

"I quit my job." I whispered into his ear as I squeezed my arms.

He didnt say anything but he pulled me back so that he could look into my eyes.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. I'm done."

"I can't believe you did that for me."

" I cant either actually." I admitted. This was completely unlike me.

"You really do care about me." I had to strain my ears to hear that sentence but I was so glad I did. It was almost as if he was finally realizing it for himself, much like I have been doing the past few days.

I really do care about him, of course I do. He is the first person in my life that cares about me and wants the best for me.

I realized today that I am truly taken by this man and I'm not even sure how that happened. When did his hold on me become so strong?

I pulled back to look into his eyes. All I could see was happiness. He was almost floating with happiness. I could see it in his eyes, in the way he was holding me, in everything he was doing.

I had made him this happy and I wanted to keep doing it as much as I could.

All I had to do was get through the job tomorrow and things would be better, they had to be.

**I love this chapter A LOT. **

**I'd rather know what you think of it though? What do you think of her new job? What do you think of her decision making skills? What do you think of Tyler? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF IT ALL! Let me know pretty please. **

**Reviews are better than Tyler staring at you..happily.. ;) **

**Thank you to all the people who are reading this fic- you make me smile every single day.**


	18. Chapter 18 Mallory

**You may have thought I would switch to Tyler like I have been doing but I am not. Mallory is still here and its for the best, trust me. Sorry for some of the unpleasant things you may read in this chapter but they need to happen. **

**Shoutout to my wifey, thank you for always being so supportive through your tweets/tumblr messages and amazing reviews.**

**Please check out ohshushrobsten (twitter) she has an amazing Robsten fic that I am in love with and seriously addicted to. Its called Undisclosed Desires and its one of my "favorites" ;) **

**Also just finished reading Worship, also in my "favorites" list, and I totally recommend it. It's a quick read and I love her E/B. **

**Alright, read away my Tyllory lovers.**

I'm not even sure who I am anymore.

I dont fucking know this girl. This girl who has a boyfriend. Who does things for her boyfriend. Who is changing her life for her boyfriend.

Who the fuck am I becoming?

I dont know how to handle things anymore.

Am I supposed to be doing all this shit for another person?

It isnt for another person though is it. Its for me. I want this. I dont want to be stuck fucking people for money for the rest of my fucking life. I want to be able to say that I've changed. That my mother didnt completely fuck me up. I want to be something different.

I want to be someone that my dad would be proud of. Someone that he could tell his coworkers about.

I want to be someone that Tyler could tell people about. We cant exactly go out and meet people without having the awkward "I'm a prosititute" conversation. He doesnt need that in his life. If he is willing to deal with me and everything that I come with then why am I pushing him away? I shouldnt be. I should be giving into him.

As much as I want to change I feel like I'm going to lose myself in the process. I feel like I've been worn down so much over the past few years that if anyone had given me attention like Tyler did I would have done anything for them.

No thats not true.

Tylers different. He actually cares.

His face last night when I told him that I had quit my job.

Thats permanently in my brain.

I will never forget the way his eyes lit up. The way his smile was so big that he couldnt contain it no matter what. The way his hands wrapped around me so tightly I knew he never wanted to let go.

That was a moment that I will keep forever. How happy I had made him just by saying that I would get a new job.

I dont have to lose myself in him. I can still keep me and just make myself..better. Changing jobs is something people do everyday. Its not a big deal. Its normal.

That makes sense right?

I should be taking the chance that I am being given.

If I lose Tyler there isnt going to be another guy that comes around that wants me for me. That wants to take care of me like Tyler does.

Ive never really believed in God. I always thought that if I did he was a total asshole for taking my dad away and leaving me with a drugged up mother who didnt give a shit about me.

Now I'm starting to think differently. Maybe he just had a different plan for me. Maybe this is some fucking fate shit that led me to Tyler. God had all this set up. Exactly. Thats what it was.

What the fuck am I even talking about? Fate? God? Who am I?

I dont even recognize my thoughts sometimes. Its almost like I was just dreaming before and now that I've woken up I realize exactly what I should have been doing this entire time.

This isnt how normal couples are though is it?

Normal couples dont deal with the shit that we go through. They have normal jobs that dont involve fucking for money. Their boyfriends dont worry about clients they will see.

We're different.

I like being different though. I wouldnt want us to be any other way.

I'm sure his parents may think differently since I'm pretty sure he hasnt even heard from them since our little dinner of fun. Whatever though. Does he ever hear from them? I'm not actually sure if he does. I feel like he doesnt.

Even if they did call I bet he would just ignore it. He seems to hate them , a lot. They were such fucking assholes to their own son. Who does that?

Who has their kid right in the same city as them and ignores them. They could have the best relationship, they could have grown from what happened and forgave each other but instead they let it tear them apart. They let everything be destroyed and no one seemed to care enough to fix it.

I cant stand that. It reminds me of my mother. I dont want him to have to have parents that are like my mother. I should be th e only person on earth who has to suffer through an asshole parent.

I want to go to them and just shake them.

Fuck you both. Thats what I want to say.

I have a whole fucking speech planned out for the next time that I see those two. They will probably see it coming too, especially with how I acted last time.

Whatever. I'm getting out of the fucking business, then no one can judge me. I only have one thing left to do and I'm done.

One little job wont be that bad.

Right?

I'll just get this shit over with and then go back and be with Tyler.

Then we can be together and there wont be any elephants in the room anymore. No more wondering what I had been doing the night before. We can focus on our issues together and just focus on being together.

I know that is probably wont be as easy as that. We have a lot of issues and we'll constantly be dealing iwth them but I'm not even sure I care.

Truthfully, I miss him. I miss him holding me, cuddling me, kissing me. I miss the feeling of him buried inside of me. 

Yeah whatever we just had sex in the club right..but its not the same. He was drunk, I was at work. I think differently when I'm at work, even if its with Tyler. Work is a place where sex has a disconnect for me. Even when I'm with him its not the same as when we're in bed. Theres something about the way he looks into my eyes as he slides into me and I am pushed deeper into the sheets. I love it. I'm addicted to it.

I need to have him. I need him to know that I do care. Sex is the only way that I know how to show affection.

..O..O..

Its almost six and I'm walking to the club.

I just want to get this shit over with.

Max is waiting for me right inside the doors. He says nothing but starts walking towards the back, I follow.

The girls are looking at me, wondering whats going on but not wanting to say anything. They dont know that I've quit yet. At least I havent told them. They probably think we're just going to fuck. This means they're all jealous. You get a lot of bonus cash if you're the one sleeping with the boss that night. He does that sometimes with the girls, mostly me recently. I am currently his fuck buddy. Tyler doesnt know this and I've never felt the need to tell him. What he doesnt know wont hurt him, right?

He opened the door to his office and I looked around. I was less nervous now than I was to tell him that I was quitting, which in reality makes absolutely no sense. I was walking to a lions den at this point.

I had agreed to do something that I wasn't specifically sure what it was or how illegal it would be. This could be so dangerous. I didnt even want to think about it. Again. I always surpressed the bad things until they were done with.

Its how I had survived my life so far, why stop now?

The room was so grey and dull. It had old furniture that was cold and metal. Nothing in here was happy or anything. I looked at the far right wall, the one I would stare at as he fucked me over the desk. I looked away quickly as the memories flooded back. I did what I had to do and that was it.

"Mallory." He nodded to me, his voice was smooth and softer than I'd expected.

"Yes?"

"Have you changed your mind?" He sat down in his desk chair and put his legs up on the desk in front of him. "Are you sure you want to do this job instead?"

"I want out Max. You know this. Please just accept it."

"I just dont know if I want to lose such a good fuck." He winked at me. "You're always so fucking tight for me, I dont know how you do it. Most girls here are so loose I cant stand it. I cant feel myself fucking them. You however..oh the feelings with you.. just make everything that much sweeter."

He gestured for me to come towards him and I did. I had worn jeans and a tshirt, not really knowing what type of job this is. How do you dress for something if you have no idea what the something is?

"Is there a reason you're not wearing your uniform?" He dragged his hand down my neck and towards my belly button. I almost laughed. Uniform? Fuck that shit we dont have uniforms. We're told to were anything seethrough, lace or "sexy". Their definition of sexy is a lot different than the one that other people use. They have some clothes in the back that they make us put on if we're not wearing what they feel is acceptable but I have quite the collection so I've never had to use it.

"I'm not here to fuck anyone." I said it casually without concern in my voice.

"Really? I was under the impression that you still had work left to do? I told you to be here at six. What deal do you think is going to go down at six in the fucking evening?" I was confused and he could tell. He was enjoying this way too much. He was going to have me fuck him I just knew it. Asshole. Whatever. "I think I'll need you to satisfy my needs before I can give you any information regarding this job you'll be doing tonight. You dont think that client of yours will mind do you? You know..that one who wont leave you alone? Who thinks he can own my property?"

You fucking piece of shit.

"No." I responded coldly.

As he started to unbutton my jeans and pull my shirt away I went numb. He would fuck me and I would let him. I would just go numb, let him do what he wants and hope that he would finish quick. I didnt need this shit right now. I said I didnt want to do this anymore. I would keep this secret, Tyler would never find out about this.

..O..O..

The was the longest hour and a half of my life. I'm not even sure that I should tell Tyler what happened. He'll just want to come and kill Max anyways.

Its not that it was against my will. I knew what I was doing, what I was getting myself into. I knew what he would want, how he would want it. I've been sucking and fucking him for the past couple of months, regulary. I went numb, like always and it was over.

He was still buttoning his pants back up when I spoke.

"What am I doing?" My words came out harsher than I expected.

"Mallory come on now, no need to be hostile." I knew I wasnt being patient. I was anxious. I was going to be sent out to a job that was to occur in a half an hour and I still had no idea what I was walking myself into. "You'll need to wear your club clothes, grab some outback."

"Why?" I had no reason to wear them. I could hear the tension in my voice. "I'm not fucking anyone."

"You need to play the part." He paused to light a cigar and put it in his mouth." You'll put on the clothes."

His voice was demanding and hard.

"What else is involved in this deal?" I tired to keep my voice calm. I was fucking pissed off now but I couldnt show it. I couldnt let him know that he was getting to me. I needed to do this.

"You'll be bringing some..merchandise..to three of my clients. They will give you ten thousand dollars and you will immediately bring it back to me. Immediately. I dont want you to make any other stops on your way back here. I dont want you to count it or touch it any more than necessary to put it in your fucking jacket. Understand?"

"Yes." He knelt down by his desk and picked up a small duffle bag.

"This is what you will give to them after they give you the money. You make sure that you get that fucking money first. They wont try and screw me over because they're smarter than that but still. Do not give this to them until that money is in your pocket."

I didnt even bother responding I just slightly nodded my head. I wasnt an idiot. Ten thousand dollars was a lot of money but I figured that it was nothing compared to what deals he usually did. This was probably a beginners deal he was sending me on, just to try and scare me or something.

"What's in the bag?" I decided to ask because I figured that I have the right to know, since I'm going to be carrying it.

"You don't need to know whats in the bag. Don't ask irrelevant questions." He almost yelled the last part. I cringed.

I just stared at the bag that was sitting on the desk, trying to figure out what it was. I guess I wouldnt really be able to tell until I picked it up. Maybe opened it? It was almost like he read my mind with the next words out of his mouth.

"Do not open this bag. I dont want your fucking hands to touch anything but the handles. Mallory, don't cross me on this, you do not want to get on my bad side. I like you, you're a good fuck and a hard worker. Dont make me do something bad. "

Bad? You're fucking sending me into a business deal with people I dont know, with a bag I dont know whats inside and you dont want to do something bad? Fuck off.

I didnt say a word. I let him talk, he continued to tell me where I was going and what I was to say. I had to go a couple miles and meet in some random park area. I knew the area well enough that I wouldnt get lost but I never spent time over there. It was on the opposite side of town than my apartment. The only good thing about that was that it meant that it was also away from Tyler. He wouldnt accidentally run into me. He didnt even know where I was tonight. I told him I had to go back to the club to get some things and that I'd be back later. He didnt even try to stop me, I think hes still running of the high that I quit.

I hate lying but I have to. I have to keep him safe.

I went to the back of the club and changed into some random fucking outfit that showed way too much skin and threw on a big coat. It covered me nicely but I still hated this shit. Why did I have to dress like a prosititue to go and fucking make this deal? I wasnt about to be giving out fucking blow jobs just to make this deal. I didnt need to look the part, they would know that I was working for Max. This wasn't fucking rocket science.

I ended up picking the shortest heels I could find and they were still like 4 inches. So much for being discrete. I was hoping that people wouldnt find me suspicious, walking down the streets of New York with a duffle bag and fuck me heels.

Please just let me do this and go home.

It was dark and cold and I was already freezing as I walked towards my destination. I didnt know what clients I would be looking for so I thought Id just go find a place to stand or sit and wait it out. They would find me. They would know what they were looking for.

The park was deserted for the most part. It wasn't that big, only a city block and had a few groupings of trees. It was mostly shrubs and a playground. There were people on the streets and around the area but no one was actually sitting or enjoying the park. This made me happy that I could get it done without suspicion and witnessses and it also scared the shit out me because I would be alone.

I sat down on the bench and put the duffle beside me. I wanted to open it so badly and know what was inside but I resisted. I didnt know if something would happen if I opened it or if I really wanted to know what was inside. It had been quite heavy to carry all this way which made me a little freaked out. What could be heavy in a duffle?

As I sat there looking around I thought about how many other girls had this job for Max? I wasnt even sure any of them had. Who usually did this job?

I couldnt even guess.

Before my thoughts could dive deeper into that I saw three men coming towards me in the park. I was sitting close enough to the street that I felt..safe-ish?

I stood up and grabbed the duffle into my hands. I wanted to make sure they knew that I wasnt some timid fucking girl. I was here to get my money and leave.

They stopped around five feet in front of me, one coming foward more than the others. It was nice because it was almost like they were trying to stay neutral, not to intimidate me.

No that couldnt be it. They would obviously try to intimidate me, I'm a girl with things they want. THey are doing this our of pure strategy.

They were three very large men. Tall. Built. I'm sure there were guns under the black coats they were wearing. They were just those type of poeple that you saw walking down the street and you knew they were carrying. You just knew it.

"I take it you're one of Max's whores?" The one on the left said. The one in the middle, closest to me, turned back and gave him a look. The man on the left backed up one step, almost like a child would when theyre yelled at by their mom. "Look at those legs, damn." I heard him whisper under his breath. Thank you fuck me heels.

"If you're wondering if I work for Max then you're correct." I said sternly, my voice didnt shake and neither did I. I needed to stay in control of this situation. "Give me the money and we can all be done with this."

"Give you the money?"

"Yes. I didnt stutter." I put one hand on my hip and kept a firm grasp on the bag with the other, it was heavy enough that this was a hard thing to do.

"How about you give me the duffle and I will gladly give you the money right after that." The man in the front was talking to me and he was trying to intimidate. Luckily my heels made me about his height and so I could look directly into his eyes.

"No. You give me the money. I give you the duffle."

"Look, you're new at this, we've never seen you around. We dont know if we can trust you. Max can obviously trust us, we're regular clients. This means that you're the odd one out, you give us the duffle and we will give you the money. Dont make this hard, sweetheart." His last sentence was covered in a demeaning tone. I dont need to fucking take that from these assholes.

"Fuck off. I'm not some girl you can sweet talk into doing things your way." I didnt mean to say it, I swear. It just came out. That side of me took over, the over confident, fuck off side of me. Sometimes it comes in handy but right now I'm thinking it wont.I should have taken a different route with my response, too late.

"Listen bitch you better rethink your little plan of how this is going to go down because if you dont give us that duffle you're going to be the one paying." I could see the anger in his eyes. I wouldnt be paying with money and I knew that. He was full out threatening me.

"Whatever." I made myself stop talking. I thought about maybe using the clothes I had on underneath as a tactic to make them do things my way but it didnt seem like a good idea. I didnt want to get myself into more trouble than I already was just because I had such a fucking stubborn side that didnt want to lose. I also didnt want to get in trouble with Max. He had told me that I was to get the money and then give them the duffle..now they are switching this shit. I hope they wouldnt screw me over. Please dont.

I threw the duffle down on the ground and the man on the right leaned to down and picked it up. He instantly opened it and looked inside, reaching around to touch things. I wanted to look in it so badly and see what it was but I resisted. I stood still and held my hand out, waiting for the money.

"Its all here." The man holding the duffle said.

"Of course it is." I responded. What the fuck Mallory! Shut your mouth. I didnt even realize I had responded until the man closest to me raised his eyebrow.

"We like to check, we dont want to get fucked over." He explained, I'm not even sure why. I didnt need an explaination. If I was them and I was picking up a mysterious duffle from some girl I would probably check it too. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a white envelope and placed it in my hand. I went to pull away when he grabbed my wrist. He did it so quickly that I almost didnt even realize it.

"You're right Marcus she does have sexy legs." His eyes raked over my body. I was glad I had the jacket on even if it did barely cover my ass.

"Yeah, they're fucking fabulous." I reponded once again with my sarcasm burning through. What the fuck was I trying to do?

"You know you're dirty mouth must come in handy at work. I bet you like talk dirty when you fuck, am I right? " He didnt wait for my response. "I'll have to come by sometime and see you." he winked at me. " I'm sure you like getting fucked hard." His voice was a whisper but we could all hear it.

Yeah buddy come by the fucking club, I wont be there. I'll be at home fucking my boyfriend.

"Whats your name?" He asked, still holding onto my wrist.

"Allison. You look like quite the fuck as well. " I tried to make my voice sound sexy, like I did when I wanted to make the most money out of a man in the club. I thought that I could cover all of my sarcastic comments with this one sexy one. Almost like an odd form of redemption? I'm not sure that it worked but he seemed to accept it. He let go of my wrist and turned around and walked away. He took two steps before turning back around to me and saying he'd see me soon. The other two men said nothing and followed.

I was frozen for a few minutes trying to go over what had just happened in my head. It wasnt that bad. Nothing really happened. I didnt do the deal exactly how I had been told to but Max would never know that right? I dont think those men would tell him that I fucked it up and did it wrong. I mean Max couldnt expect me to just fucking take down 3 large men to get the money first did he?

I broke myself out of my trance and started walking back towards the club. I needed to give Max this money.

Once I gave him the money I would be done.

All of this would be done.

**Reviews are better than having to do a creepy deal with creepy men in a creepy park..obviously.. ;)**


	19. Chapter 19 Tyler

**You know how much I love all of you? Enough that I didnt want to leave you on a cliff hanger because if I was reading this fic I would kill me for having a cliff hanger. This is why you are getting 3 chapters, the previous one..this one and one more so close together. I mean if you're super lucky I will just update a ton this week, but that may not happen. It will depend on how much Twilight takes over my life this week. I loved the Robsten cuteness that we got at the LA premiere! :) I want more of it at the London one.**

**Thank you for reading this fic. If you'd be so kind to pimp it out to a friend I will love you forever. Its very hard to market yourself, it always makes me feel awkward and desperate because I'm always like "hey read my fic." and everyones like um your weird. hahaha thats at least how I view the situation going. **

**We're back in Tylers head which I know is a favorite of some of you ;) I do enjoy being in his head too..he's just so sexy..**

**umm Rob/Kristens thrusting comment may have contributed to some words used later in this chapter.**

**sorry for the longest a/n ever..**

When I got home and saw her lying in those coffee grounds I was so worried. I didnt know what had happened or why she was like that. What the fuck had she been doing? I didnt know if she did drugs but I had never seen her on any, or seen any in her apartment. That couldn't have been it. She didnt drink much that I was aware of, just smoked a lot. She had cut down slightly since we had been dating which was nice. It was almost like I took away the stress she used to have. At least thats what I like to think happened.

I wanted to question her about her afternoon but she was being so short with me. I feel like I have to walk such a fine line around her because I don't want her to snap. I dont want her to think that I'm not worth it and leave.

I let her go. Against my better judgement I let her. She wanted to be away from me and I didnt think that it was in my best interest to go chasing after her. I'm not even sure why I didnt because thinking back on it I definitely should. I was sending my intoxicated girlfriend into the city without me and I had no idea if she had hit her head or not. She could have had a concussion and just passed out on the street. I'm such a fucking idiot.

She didnt though. She came back and I was freaking out. I was minutes away from going out and searching for her. I would have gone everywhere. I wouldnt have stopped until I found her and made her safe.

When she spoke my entire body radiated with happiness.

She quit her job. She really fucking did it. She did it for us. She did it for me.

I have never been happier in my entire life.

I never thought she would do it. I really thought that I would have to fight her on it a lot more. Idont even know what got into her that would make her want to quit but I dont want to question it because I dont want her to question her decision. I want her to want to be with me. I want her to want this as much as I do.

When she tells me shes quit I just want to take her right there, in the middle of her apartment.

I dont though. I know that would be ironic and weird. Oh you just quit fucking people for a living? Let's fuck.

No. Thats not how I am and I would never do that to her. I want to respect her and love her.

Love.

Did I really just think that?

I need to just stay with how much I care about her and keep away from that word as long as I possibly can. I dont want to scare her away.

I just held her until she told me she was tired and wanted to go to bed. I let her.

I woke up and went to work, leaving her in bed. I wanted to wake her up so badly and kiss her and talk to her but I knew she should get some sleep. I'd be home in a few hours, I only had a short shift today and we could talk then.

Work went by pretty quick and I rushed back to her.

I just wanted to see her.

When I got to her apartment she was sitting in the living room watching food network. It made me laugh and remember the night I had met her. I was so fucking awkward. I guess I still am.

It wasnt even a few minutes and she had gotten up to go change. She said she had to get ready and go to the club for some things. She didnt say what. I didnt ask.

I let her go, again. I hate it though. I hate letting her leave and not knowing the outcome for when shes gone. I dont know what exactly shes doing or who shes with. That paranoid side of me comes back and I hate it.

I took the longest shower I could, waiting until the hot water ran out. I fucking hated that she was at the club again but she was quitting. Or she quit? I dont even know but she would be done. For good.

When I got out of the shower I grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down on the couch. I turned on the cooking channel because it reminds me of her. Its almost all I watch now when I'm not with her.

For some reason when I watch it I feel like shes here with me and that comforts me. I'm becoming to clingy to her. I know I am. It botheres me when she leaves almost to the point of me wanting to go with her.

What would she think of that? Me wanting to go with her?

She'd freak out. She'd hate that I would even think that would be a good idea.

I need to be so careful. I cant fuck this up. I keep almost slipping, almost telling her my true feelings.

I need to make sure that she wants to hear them before I go blabbing my..well..my love for her.

I do love her.

I know I do. As scary as that fucking is I know that I do. I would do absolutely anything for her.

I want to be able to say Mallory, I love you.  
>If I did though, she'd be gone.<p>

I just need to keep telling myself that.

She will leave me if she finds out, do not slip.

My mind begins to wander as I sit and drink my beer. I start thinking about the last time I had her. In the club. After a lap dance. I sure as fuck hope thats not what she usually does for men. I was pretty fucking wasted but it was still special.

Right?

She didnt think of that as just another fuck, I mean it was with me. She doesnt do that with everyone, right? No.

I cant believe that she would do that with other men. I cant. We have something special when we're together like that. We're one person. We know each other. Its like nothing I've ever experienced and I cant believe that she has that with anyone else.

Damn. Now I need to see her. I need to be with her. I need to know that what we have she doesnt have with someone else. I'm the only one that can make her feel that good.

I hate waiting for her to come back. I hate it.

When I finally hear her outside of the door I am relieved. I seriously worry about her when shes out at the club. I dont like thinking about it too much because it makes me want to run down there, but I worry.

Ive been sitting in her living room for a few hours and I decide its best if I dont run up to her at the door, I'll let her come to me.

"I missed you." I say instantly as she walks towards me.

"I missed you too."

"Why were you gone so long?"

"I just had a lot of things to do before I could be fully done." She looked out the window as she spoke.

"Yeah. I bet. Are you glad its over?"

"Yes."

"Seriously though, you know you didnt have to do that for me. I wanted you to quit but I dont want you to change your life because of me. I want you to do it because you wanted to."

"I know. I did want to, you were just my motivation."

"Well could I motivate you in some other ways?"

"Please."

I started placing kisses along her cheek and down her neck. Her eyes fluttered closed as she tilted her head to give me better access. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her to me. She was so tiny compared to me, my arms could wrap around her and touch myself. I loved that though. I loved that I could control her in that way, pull her to me and keep her there. She wouldnt be going anywhere.

"Do you understand how happy I am that you're done with that job?" I whispered against her collarbone.

She moaned in response. I wanted her to know exactly how I felt about this and I knew that with me kissing her neck she probably wasnt even listening to a word that I was saying. I pulled back and looked at her face. Her eyes were closed but I could see her eyebrows scrunch together. She was wondering why I had stopped kissing her I bet.

"Really, though. I wish I could show you how much it means to me that you actually took what I said into consideration. I want you to be happy." She opened her eyes as I stopped talking and those beautiful green emeralds were glowing. I could stare into her eyes forever. As I looked into her eyes I noticed another emotion. I couldn't place it but it scared me.

"I am happy." She sounded happy but that look in her eyes was still there. I didnt like it.

I leaned my head down and kissed her forhead. She leaned into me. We just stood there for a few minutes, my lips on her head, my arms around her waist. She had her arms wrapped around my neck, it was perfect. If we could just stay in our own little bubble and not let anyone else in. When we were alone, together, nothing was wrong. There was no drama with our relationship when it was just us. I wished that we could just stay in her apartment, wrapped around each other forever.

The only problem with a bubble is that it can get popped. I didnt want that to happen, ever. I needed to make sure that we would be able to withstand anything.

I kissed my way down to her mouth and slowly ran my lips over hers. Her lips were so soft and full I wanted to nibble on them. We began kissing, slow and soft and passionate. There was nothing rushed about what were doing. Our lips moved against each otherour hands were traveling each others bodies. I was grabbing at her hips, digging my fingers into her skin. As we got closer and harder in our kisses she poked her tongue out to lick my lips.I granted her entrance immediately. I would never say no to her.

Her hands began pulling around my hair and I groaned into her mouth.

I took my hands and dragged them down her body and bent down to pick her up. I held her ass as she wrapped her legs around my waist.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm taking you to bed." I wanted to show her how much I cared and I couldnt do that on the floor or against a wall. I want to have her in bed.

She kept kissing me as I walked us to her bedroom. I laid her down on the bed and backed up so that I could pull my shirt off. I looked at her as I threw it to the floor, our clothes always ended up thrown everywhere. You could always tell what we had been doing by how our clothes looked. I loved seeing hers strewn across the floor, mingled with mine.

She pulled off her shirt and jeans and was left in a plain white bra and lace panties. I swear she always wore something lace. Ive never seen her in something that didnt look like lingerie. The bra even had some lace on it that I noticed after closer inspection. She looked so perfect. Her creamy white skin looked even more translucent against her underware. Her hair was dark and long and wavy. It was so fucking sexy just looking at her.

"I just.."

"Shhh." She got on her knees on the bed and pulled me towards her, unbuttoning my pants and pushing them down to the floor.

We began kissing again, harder than before. We were pulling at each others lips with our teeth and our tongues were sliding against each other. I wanted her so badly. She always knew how to get to me, how to make me want her more than anything in the world. When I'm with her like this, its like shes my air. Shes what I need to survive.

I got up on the bed and crawled up between her legs, pushing my hardness against her. She moaned at the sensation and pushed her tongue in deeper.

I could feel the heat radiating from her pussy as we began to grind against each other. THe movement of our mouths creating the pace.

She reached down and tried to push off my boxers but couldnt because I was pushed against her. I leaned back and took them off as I watched her unhook her bra. I reached down and stroked my hand across her chest, carefully missing her most sensitive areas. Her nipples pebbled at my touch and her breathing hitched. She wanted this just as much as I did.

I dragged my hand down her stomach and grabbed onto her white lace panties. I slowly pulled them off of her, watching her eyes carefully as I did. It was slow and erotic and made me want her even more as I saw the lust fill her eyes.

I put one of my hands on the side of her face and grabbed myself with the other. I lined myself up with her entrance and paused when the tip had just barely gone in. She was so wet for me, always.

"Tell me" I breathed into her mouth "Tell me you arent like this with anyone else."

"I'm not." She gripped onto my hair and tugged hard. "Its just you. Only you."

"Only me?"

"Yes. You're the only one that can make me feel this way." She kissed me and pulled back. "You are mine."

I pushed into her with those words still on her lips. I began to pump slowly inside of her, stretching her with each move. Her breathing got faster and her face began to flush. I placed my other hand on the other side of her face and brought myself down to her, our bodies flush as I continued to move.

This was very close, very intimate. More intimate than we had been in our entire sex life. There was enough light in the room that I could see her clearly. I could see the emotions in her eyes, the sweat beginning to expose itself on her skin, her muscles tightning as I thrust.

I loved it. I licked and sucked at her neck as she reached her arms back and scratched her nails along me. It felt fucking amazing. I groaned as she did it again and again. It was painful and addictive. The feeling of pain mixed with the pleasure was intense and I loved it.

I began to push into her harder, burying myself inside of her and loving how tight she was.

It was in this moment that it would have been perfect to say what I was feeling, what I was thinking.

_I love you._

I wont though. I wont do that to her. Especially in the middle of this. That would be the worst time to say it. This is how she expresses herself, I cant take that away from her.

She wrapped her legs around me and put her hands back into my hair. The new position she created caused a friction that was tipping me over the edge. I could feel her everywhere.

I loved the way our bodies were smashed together. We were as close as we could humanly get and we still grabbed onto each other like it wasnt enough. The heat between us was white hot.

I stared into her eyes and thrust harder and harder. I could feel her coming close to her release and I wanted it, craved it. I loved making her feel good. I loved seeing her face as she came. I loved everything about this girl.

She came hard and loud and I followed not even a minute after. We were in sync and there was no question about it. Our sex life was better than anyones, I had no doubt of that.

I pulled her to my side and we lay there, our legs intertwined. I have my nose stuck in her hair because I just love the smell of her. Its so sweet and almost flowery. I could never place it if you told me to tell you exactly. Its just, her.

I've become so fucking smitten I cant even handle myself sometimes. If I were to go backa few months and look at me now I would laugh and probably want to slap me. I'm completely taken by this girl and every thought I have is now consumed by her.

Who knew that Aiden could actually help me in life? If you would have said he was responsible for me being happy, in a way, I would have told you that you're fucking insane.

Now I'm very happy hes my roommate, even if I do spend as much time as I can in this apartment.

I hate having to go home and not be with her, not touch her, not see her things everywhere.

She makes me happy, she makes me forget the bad things. She really is my sunny day, pushing away the thunderstorms.

The light that pushes away the darkness.

**Reviews are better than Tyler on top of you slowly thrusting..okay maybe not but still.**

**10 points to whoever caught my "just the tip" reference. **

**Love you all!**


	20. Chapter 20 Mallory

**Breaking Dawn has taken over my life. I want to write about all the things I loved but I know theres some people who havent seen it yet so I will wait. Lets just say..Angryward, I love you. Sadward, I love you too. Its like fanfic brought to LIFE! Obsessed. GO WATCH IT if you havent..then find me on twitter and talk to me about it. **

**My wifey, Charlie, has started writing a new fic called check it out! Its in my favorites. Its my new addiction. I've been using this fic as blackmail to get her to write more chapters since this fic is her brand of heroin as she says ;) Love her forever. **

**Alright enough chit chat.. Back into Mallorys head we gooooooooo**

I'm tired.

I'm naked.

I'm sore.

I'm thoroughly fucked.

I'm wrapped up in Tyler.

I'm free.

I'm done.

I'm unemployed.

I'm a horrible person.

I'm a liar.

He's going to hate me.

He's going to leave me and never speak to me again.

He can never know that I went on drug deal.

He can never know that Max fucked me.

Max was inside me only hours prior to Tyler.

How fucked up is that?

I'm such a slut.

I'm a fucking whore.

What am I even thinking?

We're so fucking amazing together in bed. Nothing beats it. I never want anyone but him, ever. Yet here I am going off to work to fuck my boss when I had already quit. I quit. Quitting has to mean something. I shouldnt have let Max fuck me. I should have said no. It wasnt part of our deal anyways. The only problem is that I had always let him fuck me when he wanted to. I was his go to girl. I did get things out of it but still.

Did that make it okay though? Would Tyler really blame me for doing what I did? I wanted out and if the best way to make a clean break involved fucking him and doing a drug deal then I'd do it.

I'm hoping it was drugs..I still didnt really know what was in the bag. What else could it be though?

Body parts? No. Thats just creepy.

Body parts or drugs I still hadnt told Tyler.

He couldn't be mad at me for that, right?

Yes, he could. I would be if he ever did this to me. If our roles were reversed I'd be pissed. I'd want to fucking kill Max, just like he would want to do.

I peek up at him, my head is nestled in his neck, and hes sound asleep. His face looks so innocent and happy. I moved my head to kiss his jawbone and he hummed at the sensation. Even in his sleep he responded to me, I loved that.

I wanted to get up because the longer I laid in bed the more I was feeling guilty. I had lied to him about a lot of things that happened at the club. I dulled things down so that he wouldnt realize exactly what I was doing. None of that matter though. What mattered was that he thought I quit when I technically wasn't done yet. I let him believe that I was. I didnt tell him I had been fucked earlier. I lied. And its eating me inside.

I tried to move away from him, I needed to get up. I slowly moved away and tried to get out from under his arm as smoothly as possible. My legs were so intwined in his that it took me a good three minutes to actually get out. I scooted off the bed and walked towards the door.

"Please dont leave me." I heard Tylers voice, rough and soft at the same time. I whipped around and stared at the bed. Tyler was sleeping. He hadnt moved from the position I left him in.

"No. Please dont. Mallory! Dont go." He kept talking and started grabbing at the pillows where I used to be. He was dreaming I would leave him? "Sweetheart, stay with me. I need you."

I felt a sharp pain in my heart. I hated hearing him like this. His voice was haunting and so sad. He sounded like he would burst into tears any moment, like I had broken him down to nothing. What had I done? I thought he was happy that I had quit my job? Was he thinking that I would fuck this up? I thought I would but I didnt think that he thought I would.

I slowly walked back over to him and he kept mumbling but I couldnt understand what he was saying now. It didnt sound happier. I crawled into bed again and began stroking his back and whispering for him to calm down, that its okay, that I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not going anywhere. He's going to be the one that will run away. He's going to hate me and leave. I'll be left alone. Jobless. Friendless. Loveless.

_Damn that four letter word._

I'd just like to stay like this, in my apartment forever. Away from all the trouble outside. No one could hurt us in here. Not his parents, not Max, not Neil, nobody.

It would just be me and him and no one else.

I would be okay with that. I dont want to lose him. I cant even picture my life with out him.

He's taken over my life, buried inside my heart in a place I will never be able to get to. No matter what happens from here on out, I need to be all in. I need to just go with the flow because I have no other choice. My head may be telling me to run, to get away but my heart has different thoughts.

Anytime I even think about leaving him I feel a sharp pain in my chest. What is that? I've never felt that before. That feeling is something I can only relate to losing my dad and that was guilt and sorrow. This pain is something different. My heart literally hurts at the thought of being without him. It feels like its being squeezed and I cant breathe. I dont like that feeling. I hate it. I hate that I've even brought my thoughts far enough to the point that I think I'm going to leave.

I always start asking myself once the pain begins.. Could I do it now? Could I get out? Could I leave everything with him? Could I leave the feeling I get when I'm around him?

The answer is always no.

Would I miss the way he looks at me? The way he will do anything for me? The way he protects me? The way he touches me?

The answer is always yes.

And yet theres always that voice in the back of my mind telling me that I need to be smart. I need to keep my options open. I cant block myself into a corner for him. I need to be able to run and I need to keep my mind in a place where I will be able to do that. I cant fully commit, I cant allow myself to like him too much. I cant.

I need to protect myself and my heart and my life.

Tyler Hawkins cannot get in the way, no matter how much I care about him. No matter how we seem to fit together.

I mean the best part about him is that he isnt perfect, that he has baggage, that he isnt untouchable. It makes me feel more normal, like I dont have to pretend around him. It's like we're both puzzle pieces that are in the wrong puzzle, we dont fit here but we fit together.

I can finally be myself around someone.

Too bad he doesnt realize I'm a lying slut who cant seem to keep her damn legs shut for her boss.

Fuck. I'm such a fucking idiot. Its killing me. I cant stop thinking about it and I should. I should just let it go , its happened before. This shouldnt be different.

_o_o_

I must have fell asleep because I woke up to Tyler stretching his long body beside me. I opened my eyes and he was smiling down at me.

"You know you're beautiful when you wake up." He looks so sincere.

"You know you're a great liar?" I laughed and rubbed my hand over his face.

"I'm serious."

"What makes you think I'm not serious?"

"You're crazy."

"You love it." Really? Did I just say that. Please dont take it the wrong way. Please.

"I do." He didnt even hesitate.

What do I say now? I don't know.

"Are you hungry sweetheart?" Could he see how much I was freaking out? Whatever I'm taking the out.

"Yes please."

"Alright come on I'll make us breakfast."

I smiled at him as we climbed out of bed. He throws on boxers and I just grab one of his V necks. I considered leaving it at that but grabbed some boyshorts. I didnt feel like putting any other clothes on so I walked out into the kitchen. We could just be almost naked, together.

"Feel free to wear that every day." Tyler said as I stopped at the fridge.

"We'd never get out of the house."

He leaned into me and kissed me hard.

I heard my phone starting to ring in my bedroom. Who would be calling me? I dont really have friends, I'm quite a loner except for Clara. She never calls though, she just comes down the hall and knocks.

"I'll be right back." I pointed towards the phone ringing.

"Take your time, I'm going to start cooking. Want anything special?"

"I dont think I have any good food so just make whatever you want."

"Dont be gone long."

"I wont."

I walked quickly into my room grabbing my phone and looking quick and going to answer before hesitating. The name on the screen is blinking at me and I dont know what to do. This doesnt make sense. I answer.

"Why are you calling me?" I'm slightly pissed off.

"Mallory?"

"Max."

"6pm."

"No."

Is he fucking serious right now?

"6pm."

"I'm not going to be there."

"You will be there."

"I quit. You do realize that means I dont work for you anymore?"

"Do not use that tone with me."

"Don't treat me like I still work for you. I dont."

"Trust me, you'll have to do more than fuck me and do one deal before you're done working for me anymore."

"Why? Just let me go. Let's just make this a clean break."

"Where's the fun in that? 6pm."

He hung up before I could say anything else.

What the fucking fuck? I have to be at the club at six..I have no idea why. I have absolutely no reason to go to the club therefore giving me to excuse to tell Tyler.

_Sorry Tyler, Have to go fuck my boss again..at least I think thats what I'm doing. I could be going on another drug deal..Oh thats right you didnt know about either of those.._

_Forgot to tell you..fucked my boss last night..doing it again..k bye.._

_We just fuck and then I leave..really..its nothing.._

I want to come clean. I want to.

I cant.

He wont believe me.

He'll want to go attack Max, yell at him, tell him I quit and thats it.

That wont work.

Max has body guards. Max has guns. Max knows how to hurt. Max knows things about people that even they dont know about themselves. He's scary and he's dangerous. You dont mess with him.

He already knows about Tyler. The second he mentioned him I knew I was screwed. He knows I care about him. He knows I'm basically quitting because of him, even though thats only partially true. Or atleast I tell myself that. The part of myself that knows the truth, knows I quit for him. I want him to want me, I want to be good for him.

I cant risk Tyler. I cant let him get himself into danger at my expense. He wouldn't understand my relationship with Max. Max is dominating and controlling with everyone and that doesnt change when he fucks. I fuck him and I get things from him. Its how our relationship works. Ive been getting the best spots in the club, highest paying clients and best hours since we started fucking. It has its perks.

I dont fucking want the perks anymore. Theres nothing else he could give me that I would want. He knows that and that is why Tyler is now involved in our fuckery.

If Tyler even heard us he would be seeing red in about a milisecond. Ive noticed that theres two things that make him lose his temper. His parents. And anyone threatening, touching or doing anything with me, in any way.

Is it bad that the sex goddess inside of me thinks its incredibly hot that he protects me like does? I hate that I think that I do. Its fucking sexy as hell. It doesnt mean I condone it though. I dont want him to get mad, to get hurt, anything like that.

So what do I do?

I'm still standing in my room. Listening to what Tyler is doing in the kitchen and hoping, no I'm praying at this point, that he didnt hear my conversation. That would just make this entire thing that much harder to explain. I'm pretty sure I've been in here an odd amount of time. I havent been talking so I cant say I was catching up with a friend, the actual conversation lasted less than 30 seconds. Damn.

I slowly walk back into the kitchen pretending like nothings up, like I wasnt just on the phone.

Maybe he'll forget why I left?

"What's for breakfast?"

"Well considering its noon this is technically brunch. I made scrambled eggs and french toast. Its one of my favorite things to eat." He smiled at me with that smile. That one that makes his eyes scrunch together with the cutest wrinkles around them. His mouth is just beautiful, I want to kiss his lips and suck on that toungue sliding between them. His jaw is so cut and sharp I want to lick it. God, I sound like a creepy fucking stalker. I'm basically memorizing his face in every emotion he has.

I force myself to look away because I think Im becoming delirious.

Inside I'm having an emotional break down with Max and my fucked up job all while obsessing over his face and how much I just want to lick him.

I'm a fucking oxy moron.

"This looks really good Tyler." I was all of a sudden so hungry. He placed the plate full of eggs and french toast in front of me and then grabbed a cup of coffee too. I took a sip of coffee and watched him fix himself a plate.

_Just tell him. He'll understand._

_He'll help you. He would want to know. You would want to know if your roles were reversed._

"Did you try it yet?" He sat down beside me.

"I need to tell you something." I stared at the plate of food. It really looked delicious but all I could think of was him leaving me.

I could do this.

"What is it baby?" He moved his chair closer to me and put his arm around my waist.

"I-I have to go to the club tonight." I felt him tense.

"Why?" He was trying to keep his voice calm, he didnt want to show how upset he was I could tell.

"I need to. They asked me. I wont be fucking or sucking or dancing or anything like that. If thats what your worried about." And my defenses are up. I cant tell him.

"If thats what I'm worried about? Really Mallory?" He pulled away from me, fast. " I dont want you to go back to the club at all. Ever. Its not just the fact that your prostitute yourself I just dont like anyone there. They dont have your best interest and I dont trust them."

Theres that fucking angry, frustrating and sexy as hell Tyler I know.

"I'm going to get ready." I started to walk away.

"Mallory stop."

I turned around and I could feel the tears in my eyes. He would think they were just because of this fight but it was so much more than that. I hated lying to him. I hated this entire situation we've been thrown into.

"I'm sorry. I trust you. If you think that you should go then go. Just please promise me you'll be safe."

"I'm sorry, too." I leaned into his chest and his arms wrapped around me loosely. " Do you remember what you said to me this morning when I tried to get up?"

"What?"

"Do you remember? Before we woke up to eat.." His face showed me that he had no idea. He didnt remember. I could still hear his voice saying please dont go. I wanted to hear him say it now.

I wanted the soft side of Tyler, the one I knew was there but only came out when his guard was down. I wanted him to want me. I wanted him to tell me what he wanted me to do. I wanted an out of this fucked up situation.

I didn't want to go to the club. If I told him maybe we could figure something out, call the cops or bring a group of big men with us..? Something to get me out.

"I dont remember..what did I say?"

"I'm not sure I just heard you mumbling, didnt know if it was something I should know or not."

"I'll try to remember." I smiled up at him and he kissed me.

_O_O_

I'm walking back to the club.

I hate myself.

Why do I even try to be a good person? I'm not. I'm leaving my boyfriend to go fuck another man because I dont have enough balls to just come out and ask for help.

At least I dressed accordingly this time. I wore black thigh high tights and this tiny lacy silky dress. It looked a lot more like lingerie than a dress but whatever. I wore a large coat to cover myself. I had my sneakers on but I was carrying my fuck me heels. It wasnt worth it to wear them as I walked to the club, draws too much attention to me.

I walked up to the door and threw on my heels. Theres always so many people out there waiting to get in, hitting on people or just smoking. I went to walk right past, knowing that the bouncer knew me and it wouldnt be a problem. I kept my head down and walked through the crowd.

As I got closer to the door I felt a tug on my arm. I pulled away and went to keep walking, figuring that its just someone who thinks I'm hot or knows I used to work here or something.

Almost inside I felt the tug again. I flung around, ready to smack this person in the face, I should have.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Oh that dirty mouth of yours, how I have missed it."

"Let go of me asshole." Neil. No. This can't be happening.

"Do you work here?"

"Are you fucking deaf?" I tried pulling my arm back but he kept his grip tight. His eyes scanned my body, no need for me to answer I look like a fucking stripper.

"So Tyler picks up his girlfriends here now? Wow. How much did he pay you? I could pay more."

"He doesnt pay me. Get your fucking hand off of me."

"Hearing you say fuck makes me want to fuck you." I swung my right hand and slapped his face. He let go of my arm and held his face in his hands. I quickly ran into the club without looking back and disappeared in the crowd.

I'll just go back to Max office and get this shit over with.

**Charlie..thats a cliffy..**

**I will be giving you all another chapter tonight, maybe not as long but I would hate to leave you with just this. **

**..but what did you think?**

**REVIEWS are better than Tyler not wanting you to leave him, please.**


	21. Chapter 21 Mallory

**I just want to thank Nabstew (on twitter/tumblr) for being an amazing friend. She makes me super beautiful edits and helps me promo this fic. Love ya girl.**

**Stripped is the name of Charlie's fic. Apparently FF didnt want to post that in my last a/n so I'm doing it again! Its in my favorites and she updates a lot! Mostly because I bug her all the time to do so. I just love me some bedward.**

**This chapter is intense. I went through a lot of emotions writing it and I love how it came out. I hope you do as well: **

This stupid fucking wall.

I hate looking at it.

There are aboslutely no good memories involved with this wall. When I'm staring at this wall it means I'm getting fucked by Max. It means I'm having to numb myself.

My mind shuts off.

My body shuts off.

I just let it happen and hope it ends soon.

He doesn't realize this, he thinks I'm into it. He thinks that I love it when he fucks me. He doesnt understand how much I hate it. How much I hate myself after we're done.

I fuck him to get things. To put myself somewhat in control of what he does, because no one is ever in control around him. He does what he wants and he gets away with it. If I fuck him at least I know I can get something out of it, maybe use it as leverage? Who knows if it would ever work that way but I like to think it would.

Hes a scary person and to be on this side of things, even if this side means fucking him, is a lot better than the other side.

When he finishes I dont move. Its his second time but I'd rather him just fuck me again, then maybe I wouldnt have to go do the damn deal.

"Get up." He demands as he zips up his pants.

I push myself off the desk and turn towards him. I'm naked and I dont even give a fuck. Hes seen me like this more times than I could even count. Most people at this club have actually.

"As much as I love to see you naked put your fucking clothes on, you have work to do. " He turns away from me and goes to his desk. I put my clothes back on, getting stuck in my tights a few times and hoping he doesnt notice. I dont like to upset him or do things wrong. It can only hurt the situation.

Sometimes I wish he was dead. I wish he'd get in too deep with something and someone more powerful would just kill him. Then I wouldnt have to deal with all of this. I would be free, finally.

"What am I doing tonight?" I asked when I finished with all my clothes. I looked at the clock and noticed its a little after seven.

"You'll be going to one of my customers houses and dropping off this." He slammed a briefcase down on the desk. I jumped. "You will get fifteen grand and you will come back here. Understand?"

"Yes." Fifteen grand? What the fuck? What could you be buying with that? What would I even be carrying? What did I do if a cop stopped me? I didnt know what I was holding? I dont want to do this. I have a horrible ,sinking feeling in my stomach and I just want to pull my hair out.

"Good. Go."He nodded to his body guard and I was escorted out. As embarassing as that was I was glad. If I had a body guard with me then maybe Neil wouldn't be brave enough to come near me.

This made me get into a whole new debate in my head, only adding to my stress. What do I do about Neil? Do I tell Tyler? I feel like I should. Neil is someone from his past. Someone he would want to know about.

Neil is dangerous though. He knows how much he can provoke Tyler just by being in the same room as him. He knows that if he uses me it will make Tyler even worse.

Tyler has a temper that I dont know how to handle. I can usually figure out when it will happen but I never know how to control it. I love it and I hate it. I love that he is so passioniate and that he care but I hate it because I dont want him to get hurt. I dont want him to get in trouble.

I dont want to lose him.

As I'm walking through the club towards the doors, with my body guard on my tail, I notice Neil sitting at the bar. He doesnt see me which is good. He has some girls all over him, this type of place is probably the only time he gets girls. Hes such a fucking creep. Although Tyler did say he used to get girls all the time.

Stupid girls who think asshole men are the way to a happy life.

I'll take my sensitive, damaged, sexy, sweetheart over an asshole any day.

I walk out into the cold night air and and immediately regretting this outfit. The coat is great for covering what I'm wearing but not so much for keeping me warm.

I'm fucking freezing.

I start walking faster.

The apartment was a thirty minute walk away from the club. I didnt like that. I hoped that I had enough money in my wallet that I could get a cab back to my apartment, back to Tyler. I couldnt call him for a ride, I would have no excuse and he would want answers.

No. I need to stop thinking about him. At least for the next section of time so that I can stay focused and get what I need.

I walked up to the apartment and it was pretty big and very nice. Obviously someone whos willing to drop fifteen thousand on whatever is in this suitcase would have money but still.

I've been trying to figure out what in the suitcase and I cant. Its an awkward weight. Not very heavy but not light either. I should probably just stop trying to guess because odds are I'll never know.

I pressed the button outside the main door that alerts the client he has a guest. I get buzzed through without even speaking into the intercom, weird?

My heart is literally thumping in my chest right now, I swear everyone in a ten mile radius can hear it. I dont like this. This is making me feel trapped. The last deal was outside, in a park. I could have run. This deal is making me feel like I'm being herded into this apartment against my will.

Stairs or Elevator?

Stairs will give me more time to think.

I start walking up the stairs and end up holding the railing because I'm shaking so badly. I have the briefcase clutched so closely to me. I dont want anyone to walk by and try to grab it, not that anyone would. There isnt even anyone in the hallway with me..I'm paranoid.

I'm still dressed as a fucking prostitute. Fuck. I hope this person doestn want me to take my coat off. I dont want them getting the wrong impression of me. I dont want to fuck, I dont want to do anything with them. I just want to get my fifteen thousand and get out.

Listen to me? Get my fifteen thousand? I'm in deep fucking shit. This isnt something normal people talk about.. this isnt even something former prostitutues talk about..

I walk the final steps and pause at the top. The door I want is only feet away from me, they know I'm coming, I have to go. I want to run.

No. I need to get those over with. I dont want Max to have a reason to hurt me or Tyler. Especially Tyler.

As I walk up to the door I swear I am going to throw up, I can feel it in my stomach and in my throat. I dont even think I will be able to open my mouth without throwing up.

I lift my hand up and knock. Its a pathetic knock, no one would hear it.

I wait.

Nothing.

Damn they didnt hear me, I knew it was too quiet.

I knock again.

Footsteps.

"Come in." The door opens a crack and I hear footsteps walk away. Its a man. Of course it is.

What the fuck?

I push open the door and stand in the thresh hold. The apartment is nice.

"Hello?"

I cant see anyone. All I can see is a hallway that looks like it leads into the living room. Theres a few doors on either side along the way and they freak me out. I dont want to walk in, can't we just do this at the door?

"I said come in." The voice boomed through the apartment.

I walked down the hallway, slowly. I was trying not to make it obvious how uncomfortable I was. I wanted to look strong, confident and like someone you shouldnt fuck with. I'm sure I just looked like someone who had been fucked. Because I had. Because I'm a fucking idiot.

"You aren't Felix."

"No I'm not."

"Well?"

I didnt respond, I just looked at him. He was tall, probably a little taller than Tyler. He had very dark hair, almost black. He wasn't muscular though. He was scrawny. This made me more confident. I didnt feel like he could really overpower me. I would be able to get away if he tried anything.

"Do you have a name?"

"Does it really matter?" I held the briefcase up to my eye level. "I think we both know you only care about one thing in this room and so do I. Let's stick to that." All of my time working with men and dealing with their sneaky ways had paid off. I could still hear my heart beating like a fucking humming bird's wings but I didnt give a fuck right now. My bitch side had come out and I was hoping it would stick around until I left.

"I suppose not." He spoke and walked closer to me. I stood my ground. I wasn't backing down to this asshole. "Would you care for a drink?"

He walked past me and into the kitchen. I followed without even realizing I was.

He motioned to hand me a glass filled with a dark colored alcohol that I could smell from feet away.

"No thank you. I'm here for the money and to give you this, " I moved the briefcase upwards again " and to leave."

His face changed, his eyes grew darker. Fuck. I shouldn't have done that.

Why must everyone I deal with think that they can boss me around? Should I be less bitchy? Maybe I should just accept the drink and be nicer..get the money quicker that way? Would it be easier? Yes probably. I should start treating these deals as if I am back in the club. What was the easiest way to make money? Get the man to trust you, to want you. Get him to want the private room. In this case I need him to be comfortable around me and give me the money. I need to just think of this as me selling myself, except myself in this case happens to be a briefcase worth a lot more than a private room.

"I wouldn't mind having a drink first though." I tried using my nicer, sexy voice that I reserved for the club. I figured that would make him like me and not think I'm a huge bitch. I need to learn how to handle these situations.

No. I dont. I dont because I will never be putting myself into these situations anymore. I'm getting out of this. This is the last deal.

I need to make this one count. Make sure this man doesnt see me as a threat. I dont want any trouble.

"Of course. I'm glad that you changed your mind. You already seem more interesting than Felix." He seemed..nice? If someone paying fifteen thousand for some mysterious briefcase from a criminal who runs a prositution ring could be nice. I still wasnt comfortable around him but I didnt feel so paranoid anymore. I took a sip of the drink he had made me and my breath was taken away.

Whiskey.

I tried so hard not to cough, I didnt want to look like a pussy. I could handle it, I know I could. I hadnt drank whiskey in forever though, making this very hard.

There was an awkward silence as we stood in the kitchen. I was still holding the briefcase because there was no way I would put that down without the money. He must have sensed something because he dug through his pockets until he produced a stack of money.

"This is what you're looking for, correct?" He put his hand out towards me. I didnt know what to do because both my hands were full. I put the drink down and grabbed the money with that hand. I couldnt really count it because I was still holding the briefcase. Oh well.

I put it all in my jacket pocket and placed the briefcase on the counter in front of the man. I'm really glad I lost the bitch face because this was going very smoothly. Everything wasn't tense and I didnt feel like I was in danger.

When he leaned towards the briefcase I thought he was going to take it but instead he opened it. I was instantly curious. He tilted it towards me and I didnt understand why?

"You didnt know what you had been carrying did you?" He said as I looked into the case. He lifted up a top layer of newspapers and revealed the pricey cargo. There were hundreds of tightly packed bags of white power. This wasn't the small baggies I had seen before, these were much larger. Holy fuck. I would have been screwed if a cop had stopped me. I would have looked like a fucking coke whore.

"No. Max didnt tell me." I reached down for my glass and took a large sip.

"He never does. Felix used to try and get me to open it before he'd leave. I never would." He was being nice to me, I dont get it. "Why have you taken over for Felix?"

"I'm only a temp. I'm sure Felix will be back for your next dealing." Another large sip. I was enjoying the burn too much. I had almost finished my glass and I was getting worried that I looked anxious. I looked over at his drink and he was finishing the last drop. Nevermind, now I feel fine.

I feel slightly drunk.

No, I feel very drunk.

There was probably five shots in the glass he gave me and I'm down to one left. Fuck. I'm a fucking lightweight here, I only weigh 110lbs.

"What's your name?" He asked me casually.

"Mallory." I told him almost instantly. I was too comfortable around him. I knew that I was but I couldnt help it. He wasn't a bad guy. He was nice. He seemed harmless. "What's yours?"

"Nicholas. You can just call me Nick if you want."

"Alright." Nick. This is how all deals should go down. I should have just always treated them as if they were a customer as the club. Its the same sort of thing except they are paying a lot more and I'm not what they get in exchange.

"You are very pretty." What? Did he just call me pretty? " I dont mean to embarass you, its just..you are. It may be the whiskey talking. "

"Thank you." What do you say to that? We just did a fifteen thousand dollar cocaine deal over whiskey and now you're calling me pretty?

"Why are you still wearing your coat? You can take it off you know, I'm not going to kick you out just because we've done our deal." I hesistated. I wasn't wearing a lot under here, but I was getting hot from the alcohol. He didnt understand my hesitation. " I wont steal the money back from you if that's what you're worried about. I know enough not to cross Max."

Well at least Nick was a smart man. I wasn't sexually attracted to him at all. That wasnt my pull to him. I think it was just having someone treat me nice knowing what I am. Not judging me. It reminded me of Tyler and how he treats me. Fuck if Tyler knew I was here right now..

"Um, alright." What? Mallory! NO! Do not take off your coat. This is your sober self telling you to keep your fucking coat on. But I'm hot. Really hot. He wont care. He wont judge me. Its just a lacey, silky dress. I could just be a really slutty person in general..right?

I pulled off my coat and placed it on the chair beside me. I could feel his eyes on me. My high heels, thigh high tights and a dress that obviously shows my black lacey bra as well. I was getting completely checked out.

I didnt like it.

I looked at him with what I hoped looked like "stop fucking staring" but I'm not sure.

"Sorry to stare I just wasn't expecting.." he waved his hands in the air "that."

"Well I work for Max. What the fuck did you expect?" I wasnt about to apologize or make a big deal of this. I looked like I came here to fuck. I look like he hired me. I look like the fucking prostitute that I am. I cant say that I'm not anymore because I'm still fucking Max.

"That is very true. He is very lucky to have such a stunning woman working for him." He winked. Fuck. He needs to stop It. I gave him a small smile. This is getting annoying. I want to leave. I shouldnt have taken my coat off. Hes being nice, I shouldn't be freaking out. I need to just calm down. I finished my drink. Fuck that.

He started to move closer to me and I tensed up. What was he doing? I reached down for my coat and put my right hand on it. I could feel where the money was. He couldnt get that from me.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he came closer, inches away from my body. I could feel the heat from him and it did nothing for me. I wanted him to back the fuck up.

He stroked his hand down my arm.

"You really are fucking hot." Wow. I guess the smooth, nice man I just saw is gone?

"Please back up." His hand kept tracing my arm, up and down. His other hand went to my neck and pushed the hair away. He kept his eyes on my body the entire time. He wouldnt look into my eyes.

He wanted to fuck me. He thought I planned this shit. He thought I was going to be up for a causal fuck?

Sorry Nick, no. Never. Going. To. Happen.

"Stop." I tried to sound stern. He needed to stop.

"Why baby? You're all dressed up with no where to go, you could just stay here with me."

"What happened to the man I was talking to a few minutes ago?" I asked, seriously confused.

"Look we both know what you do for a living. I was being nice, trying to make you feel comfortable. Now we can just get down to business and you can fuck me like a good little girl." He moved his lips towards my exposed neck and I snapped. I pushed him back while simultaneously grabbing my jacket.

"You fucking asshole. You think giving me drinks and sweet talking is going to get your dick wet?"

"Yes, it usually does."

"Well then go find the usuals and fuck them." I turned around to leave and he grabbed my arm. The second time tonight someone has done that to me, what the fuck?

"You're going to regret this."

"The opportunity to fuck you? No I'm good. I could go my whole life without seeing or touching your pencil dick." I pulled away from him and left. I slammed the door. Fuck his neighbors I hope they got mad and called someone to complain.

Hes a fucking asshole. He was so fucking nice to me and it was all just to get in my pants? Are you fucking kidding me?

Who the fuck does that?

I'm so riled up right now. My heart is pounding from the adrenaline pumping through me. I want to punch someone or something. I get outside and throw my coat on. I dont need people walking down the street wondering why the hooker isn't on a corner. Fuck them.

My mind is trying to wrap around what just happened.

I cant.

I put my hands in my pockets and feel the money. I need to bring that to Max. I need to be done with this. Done.

Not pretend done. Not one more job then done.

Just done.

I grab a cab because I'm not going to deal with walking there. The walk here was enough for me.

As I get out of the cab I remember that last time I was here Neil was here as well. I dont need to see him again. I dont want him to talk to me or look at me or anything. I just want to drop the damn money off.

I dont even look up as I push through the club and towards the back. Max is in his office with Clara. I can hear her. Shes loud.

Is he really getting off again?I've only been gone a little over an hour?

Whatever. Hopefully she can take over for me, not in the drug dealing business but in the fucking Max business.

I wait outside until they're done. My mind is still racing. I cant stop thinking about everything that happened tonight. I cant tell Tyler and that makes this even harder. I want to tell him. I want to be able to vent to him. I have no one to talk to though.

I guess thats how its always been. I'm a loner. I do things on my own. I like being independant. Too bad I'm not anymore because it would have been very convienent at a time like this.

I've become very dependant on Tyler recently making this situation suck.

It doenst take long for them to finish. I block out the sounds and wait for Clara to leave before heading in. She waves hi to me and smiles brightly. Why the fuck is she so happy?

I walk in before the door shuts and Max looks surprised.

"Here's your money." I throw it on the table.

"That was quick."

" I do the job and I leave. Theres no need for small talk." I know this now because the fucking asshole I just dealt with used small talk against me.

"Well you should be treating my customers nicely." He winked at me. "Have you been?"

"Nicely? Yes. Fucking them? No."

"No?" He looks fucking surprised again. What the fuck?

"No. I quit Max. Thats it. Did you know that Nicholas would want to fuck? Or were you just hoping for extra money?"

"I'll be in touch." He waved his hand and a body guard came in to get me.

So he must have known that things could possibly happen with Nick. Was this a test? I wasn't doing it anymore. He knew that. Fuck him and his mind games I wasn't playing anymore.

"No need, I'm done here." I said as I walked back into the club. I didnt hear if he said anything back and at this point I couldnt care less.

I kept my hair in front of me as I walked through, I didnt want to change Neil seeing me and approaching.

When I got outside I finally took a deep breath.

Maybe I was actually free this time. Max didnt need me for the jobs he had Felix. If he really needed a girl to do it I bet Clara would. As much as I hate to think of Clara getting into trouble I know she'd do it.

I started walking back to my apartment. Its a little after eight I think. Tyler will still be up and wondering how everything went. Damn. I just need to be vague and not lie so much. I hate lying to him.

Maybe we can just hang out tonight and do nothing. Just be us. I cant even believe I'm saying this but I just want to cuddle. I just want to tuck myself under his arm and chin and tangle my legs into his and feel his body pressed against mine. I never realized how erotic cuddling could be.

Its very personal and intensely affectionate but I love it. Its become something that I look forward to. Something that I find comfort in.

I never thought I'd hear myself say that. Ever.

I get up to the apartment and I'm nervous. The lies are building. I hate it.

I open the door to find him sleeping on the couch. The food network is on TV and it makes me smile. He watches that all the time now. I wonder why? Is it because of me or did he always do that?

I walk over and get on my knees beside the couch so that my head is at the same level as his.

"Tyler" I whisper and rub some hair away from his face. "Wake up."

He doesnt move. Hes sound asleep. I decide to have some fun and begin kissing him, moving from his neck to his lips.

As I kiss him I feel him begin to respond to me, his lips molding to mine. I keep kissing, slowly sliding our lips together. I feel his pull into a smile and his hand move and wrap around my waist, pulling me closer. Hes awake.

"What are you doing, baby?" He whispers into my mouth as he continues to kiss me.

"Waking you up." I take one of my hands and latch onto his hair.

"Please wake me up like this every day." He pulls me on the couch and on top of him.

"Alright. I can do that." I used to hate being around anyone like this, hearing people like this, thinking about being like this. Now I'm all over it. What happened? I'm not one to get attached. I dont have cute moments with a guy. Then again I said I didnt do boyfriends and here I am happily dating Tyler.

I'm changing whether I like it or not. I need to take more control, keep my emotions in check. I like Tyler and he likes me. We're good together. It works. Let's not fuck it up.

He pulls away from me and looks right into my eyes.

"I missed you." He whispers and wraps his arms around me. He's so much bigger than me that his hands touch his stomach on either side.

"I missed you too."

We start kissing again and I feel him getting harder against my stomach. He's so fucking big I still dont understand how I can walk after hes inside me.

I start to pull off my coat and realize what I'm wearing underneath. He wont like that.

"I'll be right back." I jump off him and run to my room. That was close. He would have had a lot of questions if he had seen this outfit. I had worn my coat out when I had left, he didnt know what I had on. I stripped out of everything and threw on one of his white v necks and a thong.

I turned around and he was standing in the doorway. How long had he been there?

"Why?" He asked. His voice flat. Fuck. He saw me in those clothes.

"What?" I tried to act innocent but I knew it wouldnt get me far. I just wanted to buy some time so that I could think of something to say.

"Why the fuck were you wearing that Mallory? Dont lie to me." He pointed to the floor and gave me a disgusted look. I felt cheap. I felt used. I felt like a whore. I had been fucked tonight by someone that wasnt him, he didnt know and I wasnt going to tell him.

I just needed to get myself out of this.

"I-I had to wear it. I have to fit in at the club when I go, whether or not I'm working an-and I wasnt working. I was doing random things to close out and be done completely. It was my job for a while Tyler you can't expect me to just up and leave without any warning. Usually you give a two week notice at places. I still have to help train girls to do things that I would have done." Where the fuck did all that come from? I just made that up as I went and I'm pretty sure that it sounded legitimate.

"Dressed like that?" He was still pissed off. My excuse may have worked to keep him away from asking more questions about that but he still didnt want me wearing the outfit. I understood that. Completely.

"I'm sorry."

"You are mine Mallory." He spoke loud and firm. "Do you hear me? Mine. I dont want anyone else to touch you. Ever."

My heart started racing at his words. I loved dominant, posessive Tyler because he made me instantly wet. I hated him because I was my own person and I didnt like being told what to do.

"I'm not kidding. I dont want other men to see you in this." He leaned down and picked up the dress. "This isnt even fucking clothing. I want to be the only one to see your beautiful body. I will be the only one from now on, right?"

"Yes." I was intimidated by him, turned on by him, frustrated with him and liking this side of him all at the same time.

He walked closer to me and my breathing got heavier. He pulled off my shirt and his eyes went directly to my boobs. He leaned down and whispered into my ear, "I dont want anyone else to ever touch you. No one can touch you the way I do. No one can make you feel the way I do."

His fingers began to pull and twist my nipples, it was hard and rough. I loved it. I stood there and closed my eyes, absorbing the sensations. His mouth stayed at my ear and I heard his breathing increase. I wanted to reach out and touch him, see what I was doing to him. I could feel myself soaking my thong.

He pulled his face away from me and stopped touching my nipples, I shook from the loss of contact. I wanted him to touch me.

"Spread your legs apart." He demanded. I did instantly.

He took one finger and began to drag it down my stomach and past my belly button. When he reached the lace of my thong I shivered. He continued down that path and traveled over my swollen clit and towards all the hot wetness.

"So fucking wet. You feel what I'm doing to do?" He dragged his finger back and forth over my center while keeping eye contact with me. "I'm going to make you cum so hard."

Without warning his finger slid behind my thong and slid inside of me. I shuddered and my eyes closed. He began swirling his finger around, just one finger. It was driving me insane. I was soaking wet and he just kept going. It wasn't enough to get me off, just to drive me insane.

"More." I barely whispered. "Please Tyler."

"You like what I do to you?"

I could barely respond so I nodded and hummed. I opened my eyes to watch him go down on his knees and pull my thong off. Yes. He's going to give me more.

"You have the prettiest pussy Mallory, have I ever told you that? Its so bare and tiny and pink. And mine." I felt myself become impossibly wetter.

"Yes, yours." In a way it was, because in a way I was his. I wasn't sure what that way was yet but it didnt matter.

He began dragging his finger back and forth from my clit to my opening but never going fully in either direction, it felt amazing and made me want more. I reached down to grab his hand and move it where I wanted it and he grabbed my wrist.

"No." He let go of my wrist and I heard him taking off his clothes. "I just want to bury myself inside you so that you could never forget me. I want to fuck you so good you never want anyone else. "

I walked towards the bed and laid down on the edge , keeping my feet on the floor. I wanted him to take me right now. He walked towards me and put the head of his dick against my clit and rubbed. I could feel my wetness coating his dick with every stroke. I pulled my legs up bending my knees and resting my feet on the edge. I couldnt control the moans and whimpers that were escaping my mouth.

"I just want to fuck you so hard." He spoke before thrusting into me. I screamed out in pleasure as he filled me. He slid back and forth in a steady motion. He grabbed onto my knees and spread them apart opening me wider for him and changing the sensations. I was moaning uncontrollably. He was fucking me hard and I loved it. I loved when he lost control and did this. I could hear the growls coming from his mouth as he pushed deeper and deeper.

My walls began to tighten and I could feel myself coming close. I wanted it, I craved it. Tyler made orgasms the best thing in the entire world.

"Do not cum Mallory." He yelled at me and my eyes flew open. "You are mine. Tell me." He demanded.

"I'm yours."

"Again."

"I'm yours. I'm always yours." I wanted to cum so badly. He knew this and slowed down his pace, I was so close. "Its only you." I said and reached up to grab his hair.

"Mine." He said again before picking up and pace and rubbing my clit with his thumb. Holy fuck. That brought me right back to the edge, ready to fall.

"Cum for me Mallory, come on baby. I want to hear you." He bent down and began sucking on one of my nipples and pinching the other with his free hand. I couldn't hold it any longer. There were too many things being rubbed, pinched and fucked.

My climax hit hard and I screamed out his name. I could feel my walls milking his dick inside me as he kept pounding into me. He pulled his head up to watch my face as I lost it. I could feel my whole body vibrating with my orgasm. My vision blurred so I shut my eyes tight.

As I was coming down I felt him slow as he burst inside me. His moans kept my orgasm alive and I gripped onto him tightly. I didnt want him to leave. I didnt want him to go anywhere

I wanted to keep him here with me.

**Reviews are better than Tyler making you scream and saying you're his ;) No they totally aren't but I really love them.**


	22. Chapter 22 Tyler

**WOW. Can I just say that I absolutely love every single one of you who is taking the time to read this fic? Seriously. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. **

**I noticed that Possessive Tyler seems to be quite popular. He is insanely hot isnt he? Good thing we're in his head now. **

I wake up with her in my arms. My jealous rage from last night is gone and I'm glad. I hate being like that, she just makes me crazy.

She still has those roses. They're in a beautiful glass vase on her nightstand. I still dont know how she feels about them. Why she decided to keep them? I suppose she must have liked them if she put them in a vase, next to her bed. What do I know though? Fuck that I dont even know how she feels about me really.

I dont know if I care though. It doesnt change the way that I feel about her.

I hate that I got so mad at her last night but I cant help it.

She is mine. No one else can have her. I cant believe she wore that outfit out of this apartment and didnt even bother to tell me. How could she do that? She knows that I want her done at the club.

I dont want to share my girlfriend with anyone.

I suppose I'm being unreasonable though. I cant expect her to just quit and in that one day be completely done there forever. I knew she was a stripper. Plus, shes right at a normal job you give two weeks notice and then you're gone. Maybe I just need to pretend in my head that she had a normal job and that it will be over soon.

I need to breathe.

I dont mean to be an asshole about it all. I really dont. I just dont want to share her. I dont want her to get hurt. I hate that she ever had to go to that fucking club in the first place.

We've been together less than a month. This relationship is on fast foward. Does it matter though?

People would completely judge us if we told them that.

Yeah she quit her job for me. I basically live at her apartment. We're a really fucked up couple who never seems to catch a break.

But does it matter?

No. We know each other really well. We've seen each other in ups and downs already.

Mallory is the one person who has seen me in my lowest of lows. She has helped me more than anyone in my entire life has. That has to be worth something right?

I dont think you can judge a relationship by how long you've been in it. I think you have to judge a relationship off of how you feel about the other person. What you know about the other person. What you'd be willing to do for the other person. How long you can see yourself with the other person. I feel like the important things in a relationship are internal. Not just inside yourself but inside your own bubble of a relationship. The only opinions you should worry about should be each others. You dont need to justify your relationship for anyone else.

Who gives a fuck if someone thought I was crazy for loving a prostitute. Why should they judge? My mom judges completely and I know that. My dad does too. I just cant bring myself to care.

My only problem is that I care about her so fucking much, Its starting to seriously scare me. After last night I've come to terms with the fact that I've fallen in love with her.

I have definitely, absolutely fallen in love with that girl.

And I am alone. She doesnt feel the same. She may never feel the same.

Unrequited love. I've never felt this before. It fucking sucks.

I dont know how to tell her or if I'll even ever be able to tell her. I cant imagine it going well. Its almost all I think about now when I'm with her. How can I tell her how I feel?

I feel her start moving and I'm hoping shes awake. She isnt. She moves over and lays on her stomach.

Since I'm up I decide to go and get coffee for us. Theres a place on the same block as her apartment so I'll be back before she even realizes that I'm gone. I hate leaving her in bed alone though, like she was going to do to me yesterday.

I remembered what I said.

She doesnt know that though.

I remember. _Sweetheart, stay with me. I need you._

I dont think she understands how true those words are. I need her and I want her to stay with me. I dont want her to leave. If I told her I remembered saying that she probably would have been freaked out. I sounded fucking needy.

_Who are you kidding Tyler, you are so needy for her._

Our relationship is so messed up. I'm the girl. I'm the emotional attached one who can't get over things easily and who takes everything so damn personally. Shes the guy. She doesnt seem attached and isnt clingy. She does her own thing and doesnt ever ask for my imput on things.

I dont even know if thats how guys and girls act in relationships but thats how I fucking feel right now. I'm in such a bad position with this.

My experience with girls is slim and now I'm dealing with one that acts nothing like a girl usualy does.

I want to just tell her everything. Everything that I've been thinking and feeling. Why I act the way that I do. I'm not crazy, I swear. I just want whats best for her and I dont feel that anything to do with the club is best for her. She has to realize that. She has to know that she is better than the club.

I walk outside and the sun is bright but the air is cold. Fuck cold weather.

Its eight in the morning and theres a lot of people out. All going to their normal, regular jobs with their suits and briefcases. I get in line for coffee and zone back out again.

I need to go back to my apartment. I never spend any time there, ever. I go and get clothes or hang out while shes at work. I've slept there a few times in the past couple weeks but I'm mostly at Mallorys. I've basically paid a months rent for a storage facility for my things because I sure as hell havent actually stayed there.

I've been staying at her place so much. I feel like I live there. I feel like we skipped the middle stage and I've moved in. A lot of my things are here, clothing, toothbrush, shaver.

Its kind of weird. As scared of relationships and committment she is, she never mentions me leaving. I dont think she wants me to leave. I think she likes it when I stay at her place. I cant figure her out. As long as she never says anything about it and I will never bring it up. I dont want to create chaos where it doesnt need to be.

I'll go home tomorrow night and stay. Its friday and that means I can just be there for the weekend. It will give us a break from each other. From our constant togetherness. I dont want her to feel suffocated by me. Shes already been acting odd with all her trips to the club and shit. I dont want that to escalate.

I still wonder what shes been having to go back there for. I seriously hope shes not making extra money by fucking or sucking anyone. I dont even know what I would do if she was doing that.

She can't be though. She wouldnt do that to me. She knows how much it means to me that she quits and gets away from there.

I get our coffees and head back to the apartment.

I open the door as quietly as I can, the place is silent. She must still be sleeping. I place our cups down on the counter and head into the bedroom. Shes sound asleep sprawled face down across the bed. She fell asleep in only a shirt leaving me an amazing view of her curves. As much as I love her boobs, and I love them a lot, she has a fucking beautiful ass. I stand in the doorway just watching at her for a few minutes.

I can see her chest rise and fall with her breathing. I could just watch her forever. Shes so peaceful and content. I wish I could make her feel like this when shes awake. I feel like the only time shes this relaxed is when she sleeps and we have sex. Thats when she lets go and just feels. I love that.

Maybe thats why we always end up having sex. Its our own way of relaxing and showing each other what we want, how we feel. We just melt into each other and all of the problems we have to deal with go away.

I cant get over how milky and white her skin is, especially against her dark hair.

I just want to memorize her. I want to know every single part of her, every inch of her skin. I want it burned into my brain forever.

I'll never know if she'll decide to up and leave. If I'll never be able to see her again. If I'll ever be able to look at her like this again.

I need to make sure that I remember everything about her.

I walk over to the bed and sit at her feet.

Shes beautiful.

I love this girl. I love her so fucking much it scares me.

"Are you watching me sleep?" I hear her mumble into the pillow.

"Maybe." I'm caught. "I brought you some coffee, its in the kitchen."

"Mmm sleep." She pulled the covers over her head.

"Alright sleeping beauty." I got up and went back to the kitchen and grabbed my coffee. I'll decided to sit on the couch and wait for her to wake up. "I'll be in the living room."

I decided to call Aiden because I hadnt really talked to him since that night we went out.

"Hi Who is this?"

"Ha-ha."

"Are you the person whose shit is all over my apartment?"

"You're fucking hilarious."

"Yeah I know. Where have you been?"

"Mallorys."

"Should have guessed that, and hows Mallory?"

"Shes great. Hows..whoever you're fucking right now?"

"Stephanie is the current one. She is a pretty piece of ass but it was our third time together."

"Wow, you're first committed relationship."

"Yeah I'm stopping that shit before it gets any farther. I cant handle it anymore, I need something new."

"Theres the Aiden I know."

"Yeah yeah yeah. So, Do I need to get a new room mate? Are you moving in with your prositute lover yet?"

"She isnt a prostititue anymore."

"Oh? You converted her?"

"She quit. I had asked her to and she did almost immediately. I would love to think it was for me but I doubt it."

"It doesnt freak you out that she fucked all those other guys? She must be pretty fucking loose."

"Yeah it freaked me the fuck out. Thats why I'm so glad that she quit. And no, shes not. "

"Really?"

"I'm not discussing our sex life."

"Oh come on! I bet shes fucking kinky in bed."

"I'm not going to discuss this with you. It's private."

"Lame."

"Whatever. I'll be home tomorrow see you then."

"You're so fucking touchy. Later."

I dont really know what I expected to get out of that conversation. I think that I just wanted to hear that my life hasnt changed that drastically. I feel like since I met Mallory I've been in a completely diffferent world.

I dont even recognize the perosn I am now. The problem is that I dont wan tot change. I miss this happy side of me. I've been in such a dark place since Michael died that its like I was dead in my own body.

"I cant fall back asleep." Her voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I turned around to see Mallory standing in the doorway of the living room in only that shirt. Her eyes squinted and her hair everywhere, making me remember last night. Seeing her under me, her face twisted in pleasure, her center so wet and hot. I can feel my dick twitch in response to all my memories.

"I'm sorry sweetheart I didnt realize I'd wake you up."

"Are you checking me out right now?" I could hear the smile in her voice. I winked at her making her rub her face and laugh.

"You're coffee is in the kitchen." I said as I finished up my coffee.

She came back into the living room and sat beside me on the couch, with her legs across my lap.

"Thank you for getting me this."

"I'm sorry but are you serious right now?" Shes not wearing any fucking panties. What is she trying to do to me?

"What?" She asked but I could hear the amusement in her voice.

I took my hand that was on her knees and dragged it under her thighs and rubbed against her pussy.

"This."

"Oh I'm sorry am I distracting you?" She smiled at me. I could feel her pussy getting hotter as I continued to rub.

"Yes." As much as I'd love to fuck her right here, we shouldnt. We needed to talk about last night before we got back into that again. "Let's go put some clothes on you and go do something."

"Fine. What are we doing?"

"It's a Surprise. Go."

It didnt take us long to get ready and we were out walking the streets. I had her hand in mine and it felt good. It felt like we were actually a couple, like this could work and we didnt need to worry about anything.

"Where are we going?" She asked me as I began walking uptown.

"Central Park."

"That's like thirty blocks away."

"Yes. I want to show you something."

We stopped along the way and ate breakfast at a diner I'd never been to. It was good. It was nice to be able to spend time with her and not worry. We talked about random things and avoided last night.

I learned something new about her too, she refuses to eat the tops of muffins. Not exactly breaking news but something good to know.

We kept walking, still holding hangs and finally got to the edge of Central Park. I loved it here. It reminded me of when I was a kid. My parents still lived on the edge of it in a large pent house apartment. I hated that place, horrible memories there.

Whenever being with them got to be too much I'd just hide myself in the park. Its absolutely huge here, you can loose yourself just by going for a walk. No one ever came looking for me and I loved that.

There was one place that I would come most of the time. It was my safe haven. Only Michael had known to find me there.

I wanted to bring Mallory there.

"I never come here." She whispered, almost to herself, as we walked past the Plaza Hotel. I was used to the upper east side. I dispised it. Mallory seemed to be impressed with it all though as she looked around. She really must never come up here.

"We're almost there we just need to walk through the park a little bit."

"Alright."

We kept walking through the park, I kept stroking her hand with my thumb. I loved this. This was what I needed. I felt like every single person we walked by looked at us.

They were probably just looking at her though. She had her brown hair down and long, her green eyes were ringed in dark. Her clothing was understated but could you see how tiny and perfect her body was underneath. They would never see underneath though, only I would.

I felt like the men we walked by were envious. I felt like they all could see how fucking happy we were. We were laughing and smiling and leaning into each other. We looked united, we looked like a couple.

I could feel a slight tension in her though that I didnt like. It felt like as much as she wanted to give into our relationship there was still something blocking her. There was still a wall up. I need to break that wall down.

We walked past the Conservatory water and to my favorite place. There wasnt a lot of people here, maybe because its before lunch or maybe because of the chill in the air.

"This is it." I stopped at the stairs that led to it.

"Is that..Alice in Wonderland?"

"Yes." I pulled her with me up the few stairs and towards the statue. Its Alice sitting on mushrooms with all her famous friends along side her, Mad Hatter, Cheshire Cat, White Rabbit they're all there. I love it.

"Its beautiful." I let go of her hand and climbed up on top of it. "What are you doing?" She sounded worried.

"Sitting on a mushroom."

"You can do that?"

"Yes of course you can. Come on." She hesitated before following me up onto the statue.

"I used to come to the park to get away from my parents and my life. This was the place I'd come most of the time."

"Why?"

"I dont really know. I've never even seen Alice in Wonderland so it's not that emotional attachment. I guess I just liked to come here to think." I shrugged. I wasn't really sure why I came here, but I did. "Michael was the only other person who knew this was my favorite spot. I havent been back here since he died."

"Oh." She didnt know what to say and I didnt blame her.

"Sorry. It does have happy memories here. Thats why I wanted you to see it."

"I love it." She said and began to climb around more. I smiled and just watched her. I was happy to bring her somewhere that meant something to me.

I was happy to share with her parts of me that she didnt know. I wanted her to know all of me.

Maybe I could tell her how I felt?

"Mallory?"

"Yes?"

**Alright I'm doing a shoutout to rpattzlover13 because shes awesome. Shes writing a fic: The Cullen Games (you can find it in my favorites) that I'm fully obsessed with and theres only a few chapters so far. It's dirty and fun and I love it. **

**My wifey, Charlie, has made me some new edits that you can view in my profile on here. They're awesome.**

**Nabstew has made me a new banner and its epically fantastic. Check it out its { Banner 4 }**

**C0ld_desert on twitter..who is reading this fic right now ;) YAY..told me that she thinks Endtapes by The Joy Formidable is perfect for this fic & I completely agree. Go listen!**

**Please leave a review. I know I always ask but they really help me and motivate me to write more! You can leave one whether or not you have a FF account! Even if its just to say "cool chapter" or something you liked or if you want to write me a book about your thoughts DO IT. I LOVE IT. **


	23. Chapter 23 Mallory Tyler

**I am warning you now that this is NOT written like other chapters in the sense of POV's. I switch back and forth a few times but its definitely for the best. Some of you have told me that you read this like a movie and I love that! I think this chapter will read like a movie as well, let me know what you think!**

**MALLORY**

"Do you understand how I feel about you?" His eyes had been stuck on the mushroom he was sitting on before flashing to mine and back down again.

I freeze. Dont do this. Dont Tyler. Please. I can feel myself begin to panick. My stomach is getting tight my breath is becoming shorter. I watch him swallow hard before looking back at me.

"I know last night was..bad. I shouldn't have done that. I should have treated you better. I shouldnt have forced you into having sex with me. " Stop it. Stop apologizing for things that you shouldn't.

"You didnt force me to do anything." Please be dominating more often, its fucking hot.

"Yes, I did. I was horrible. I should have let you explain and listened before jumping to conclusions. I know that you wouldnt cheat on me. You wouldn't lie to me. We're past that. We're in a better place now. You quit your job and that means you're trying. I need to try too."

I cant even swallow, it feels like theres a lump in my throat. I feel sick. I'm a fucking slut. I'm a bitch. Seriously, I may throw up right now. Why is he saying that? He doesnt realize how much of a fucking liar I am. He doesnt know that I am cheating on him, I'm a horrible girlfriend. I'm a horrible friend. I'm just a horrible person. I scramble myself off the statue and run over into the bushes beside it.

"Mallory? Are you okay?" Hes concerned, I'm running away as he declares his feelings. I just cant give a fuck right now, I'm going to be sick and its all because my guilt is rising to the surface.

I kneel down on the ground behind some bushes and I can feel my stomach rolling. Its chilly outside and I'm on the ground in a cold sweat dry heaving.

I cant breathe. I cant move. He's probably wondering what the fuck? This is embarassing. I'm a guilty whore.

I throw up, a lot. I'm definitely having a panic attack. This can't be happening. I dont want to get up because my entire body feels sore. I feel like I couldnt move my legs even if I wanted to. My stomach keeps rolling as I continute to be sick.

I cant stop. Even when theres nothing left to throw up I start dry heaving. My stomach just wants to turn itself inside out.

I'm lying to him, every day, every minute and he's so fucking naive that he doesn't even realize it. He trusts me. I wanted him to trust me. No I still want him to. He wont ever after he knows what I'm doing to him. I'm abusing his trust in the worst way possible.

"Baby, I'm right here." I feel him behind me. Hes rubbing my back. Hes being so fucking nice. Everything about him is so fucking nice. I cant handle this. He doesnt understand why I'm sick, if he did he'd leave me here by myself. I'd almost like that more, then I wouldnt have to deal with how fucking nice he is. All of my guilt is here full force and its killing me. He pulls my hair back as I throw up more.

This is so embarassing.

I stop for a moment and pull myself off the ground enough to sit on my legs. I wont look at him. I look at the leaves in the bush beside me. Hes still rubbing my back, holding my hair, doing every single thing a boyfriend would for you, a best friend would for you.

Would you be okay if I went and grabbed you a water? I'll be gone for less than a minute."

I barely nod. I want him to leave, I should be punished for what I'm doing to him.

"I'll be right back." I feel him get up and I hear his shoes against the pavement. He's running. To get me water. To make me feel better.

I want to yell.. dont. Just go home. I'm not worth it. I'm using you. I've cheated on you. You don't even know me. I'm a horrible person who shouldnt be trusted with anything, let alone you.

We have a fabulous relationship. We really do, even with the ups and downs. He really is my best friend. I dont talk to anyone like I talk to him, I dont share things with others. When something irrevelant in my life happens that I'm excited about, hes always excited with me. He's also the only person I've had this close of a relationship with. I care about him more than I've cared about anyone..well, except. Hes my boyfriend. I've never been given such a good thing before and I'm destroying it like its the worst thing in the world. I'm taking all of the good and channeling it into bad. I'm ruining it all and theres nothing I can do about it.

This day has been so perfect. I had to know that would end, right? It couldnt stay like that.

I teased him this morning by not wearing any underwear, we walked holding hands, we went out to breakfast, he told me more about him. Then I fucked it all up. Right as he was going to tell me things I dont want to hear.

I dont want to know how he feels about me. I dont want to know that he cares. If I know that then it will make what I've been doing worse, it will make everything worse. He needs to let me find some way to tell him how much of a fuck up girlfriend I am before he goes telling me all his emotions. I'm so fucking scared right now.

I get up and run. I dont even know what I'm running away from? Away from him, away from my mistakes, just away.

I still feel sick and its making this harder but I just keep running. I've never even been here. I dont care, I'll figure it out. Its just a park, right?

Tyler will wonder where I went. He may think something bad happened to me.

I want to just numb myself but I cant. Why can't I?

Its so easy to do when I'm at the club. When I'm with Max I can just go to a different place.

I can't do that with Tyler.

Why?

**TYLER**

I jump up and look around. Where should I get her water? Theres a stand to the left thats close and one to my right. I think the one to my right looks farther away so I'll go left.

I run.

I feel so bad. I wonder why shes so sick? Is it because of the breakfast we had? I doubt it. That was a nice place that we went to.

She must just not be feeling well.

I was just getting around to telling her how I felt. I dont know how far I would have actually gotten but I guess now I'll have to wait. Maybe thats fate, maybe its just God's way of saying _dont tell her yet._

Its hard for me to come to this place anymore. It has such bad memories mixed with such good ones. I never know how to feel anymore when I'm here. I figured that bringing her here would be nice, it would help me open up and show her a side of me that I hadnt yet. I wanted her to know all of me.

I'm almost at the food stand so I slow down and start grabbing for my walet. My arm is grabbed. I pull away quickly because who the fuck does that?

I turn around and my question is answered.

"Tyler Hawkins, good to see you again." No. Not now.

"Neil I can't talk to you right now, maybe later." Or never because if we spend more than thirty seconds together theres a good chance that I'll kill you.

"Oh come on, no blowing me off." I tried to brush past him and he grabbed my arm.

"Dont touch me."

"Tyler come on. I just want to be friends again. Dont be like that. "

"We're never going to be friends, I thought I'd made that clear?"

"What? When I saw you with your hot ass piece of pussy at the diner?"

"Do not fucking talk about her, ever. "

"What? She is. Are you still with her or can I take a shot now?"

"Stay the fuck away from her."

"Sure, whatever." He mumbled something under his breath but I didnt know what it was. I'm sure I didnt want to know.

"I have something I need to do. I'll just talk to you later" I needed to get away from him. He wouldnt be talking to me later, or ever if I had a choice. I fucking dispise you. You destroyed my life.

"Well I'll accompany you."

"No. Get the fuck away from me."

"You're so hostile, can't we get over that?" Hes always so fucking smug, so calm and smug. I want to punch that look right off his face.

"No. Never. "

Fuck. How am I going to get rid of him. I cant deal with him, ever. I'm already fucking seeing red. I dont want him around me.

I need to calm down. I dont want to get into a fight with him in the middle of the fucking park. That wouldnt be good. I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a minute. My hands are in fists, I try to relax and get them out of that.

I walk over to the food stand twenty feet away and get a water. I turn around and Neil is still there. Why the fuck is he still there? I need to help Mallory not be dealing with him. I cant.

"Water? Was the something you needed to do quenching your thirst?"

"Seriously, get the hell out of here. I dont want to do something you'll regret." I turned away from him and started walking away. He will regret it if I punch him in the face. He will. I didnt want to walk towards Mallory because I didnt want him to find her. I needed to get back to her though. I heard him walking behind me.

"I'll regret? I dont regret anything, ever." His tone of voice was suggestive to the fact that he meant more than just about this conversation. He was referencing Michael.

I stopped in my tracks and flipped around, he had a smirk on his face. He was doing this shit on purpose, I just knew it. I moved so that I was inches away from his face.

"You better stay away from me. You have fucked up my life far beyond any repair and as much as you'd like to think you're innocent, I know you're not."

**MALLORY**

I must look like shit. Everyone staring at me. Maybe its because I look like I dont know where I'm going, because I dont. I'm lost.

I feel like I'm going to pass out if I stop moving. My body is just shutting down. My stomach feels empty, my eyes hurt, my throat is sore, my legs feel like jelly. I'm a fucking mess.

I definitely underestimated this park.

It's huge, absolutely huge. All the trees look the same, the paths wind around and around, people are everywhere. I could ask someone for directions I suppose. See if someone would help me.

Do I even know where I want to go? No.

I dont want help.

I ran away from Tyler and I will just have to go with that. I cant take it back. I cant say that I didnt mean to..I fucking ran away.

I dont know how he can even be around me, how he can even stand me.

I feel my age right now. My stupid fucking eighteen year old self. I feel it. I fucking hate it. I want to scream and punch and have a temper tantrum. I want to let it out and just pretend like all of this never happened.

No I dont.

I dont want to lose Tyler. I dont want him to hate me.

Shit.

I never want him to hate me, ever. I dont think I could handle that. My heart is hurting just thinking about the possibility of that happening. Too bad it probably will.

I need to sit down.

My eyes are heavy and barely holding up, its still light out but since its fall you never know how long it will stay like that. Plus the buildings and trees are blocking light, I'm going to be screwed pretty soon. I can barely navigate daytime Central park, nighttime would be a completely different story.

I'll just find a bench to sit on for a moment.

Just to collect myself and to figure out what to do. Yes, that works.

I start looking for an open bench. There arent any. What the fuck people? Why do you need to sit and look at the fucking trees? Get up. Move.

Old people..you can stay.

Child? Get your toys off the bench and go sit in the grass with your parents.

Fuck this park.

I finally see one about fifty feet away and I'm praying that no one takes it before I get there. I just need to rest a little. Forget for a moment exactly what I'm doing and what I've gotten myself into.

The last few steps I decide to run as to make sure this bench will be mine. I sit down and just melt into the hard metal. I close my eyes.

I can feel my heartrate slowing down.

I can feel my entire body sign with relief that I am not walking, standing or running anymore.

I'm trying to shut my brain off completely. I just want to stay here for a little bit and not move.

**TYLER**

He doesn't even say anything as I walk away from him. He knows that I'm right. He's just as guilty as me for my brothers death. I know that I put a lot of it on myself and people tell me not to. I cant help it. I was responsible. I should have done other things, but I didnt.

Still, he shouldnt have made me decide.

I fucking hate him for that. I wish he would have been the one to die instead of Michael. How bad is that? I wish someone dead. I should never wish that upon anyone, or any family. But I do.

I walk back to the place I left Mallory, my head is a mess. I'm hoping that Neil didnt follow my awkward route to get here. I dont want him to see her. I dont want him to touch her. I know he had an interest in her when we were at the diner. I don't want him to ever get the chance to even look at her again.

I look behind the bush and shes gone. This is weird? Where would she have gone? Maybe somewhere else? I mean being behind a bush is pretty odd anyways but I understand because she didnt want to get sick in front of an audience. I probably would have done the same thing. She must be sitting somewhere by the statue.

I walk around and towards the Alice in Wonderland Statue, I dont see her.

I dont see her anywhere.

What the hell? Now I'm freaking out. Where could she be? She knew I was coming back. She wouldnt have just run away from me, that wouldn't even make sense.

"MALLORY!" I start screaming her name, repeatedly. People are looking at me like I've gone insane. I think I'm going to if I cant find her. I left her feeling so sick on the ground and I come back and shes missing.

Where could she have gone?

Did someone talk to her?

Move her?

Take her?

God, I hope not.

No. Who would have taken a sick girl laying in the grass? That would just be unimaginable to do.

Except..Fuck. No. No. No. No.

There's only one person who could know where she is right now. Is it a coincidence that he would come and talk to me only moments after? No. It can't be.

Neil.

**MALLORY**

So sleepy.

I cant even hold my head up anymore.

I'm exhausted, emotionally and physically.

My face is wet. Its soaked actually. I hadnt even noticed that I've been crying.

I cant stop.

Where is Tyler?

Why did I run away?

I'm so stupid.

Stupid.

**TYLER**

"Where the fuck is she?"

"What?"

"Where the fuck is she? What did you do with her?" I'm standing so close to him, screaming. If he did anything to her I swear to God..

"What are you talking about?"

"Fuck you Neil. I know you had something to do with this, where the fuck is she?" His face changed to one of understanding. Then panic. I was fucking pissed off and I was not hiding it.

"Are we talking about your toy? I dont know where she is."

"If you're fucking with me right now, _I will kill you.I promise._"

"Yeah? " He moved closer to my face. "Such a fucking pussy."

I punched him. As hard as I fucking could.

It felt fucking amazing to feel my knuckles lock into his jaw bone. I swear I heard it break. I want it to break. I want him to feel pain.

He hits the ground, hard.

We're on one of the sidewalks that no one is on right now and I'm thankful. We're just off the beaten path enough that no one will see this.

My hand can already feel the side effects. It still wasn't healed from fighting at the club. My face had almost healed, which helped my appearance to others. I wanted to fuck up Neils face so badly he would never be the same.

The amount of hurt I wanted to inflict on him was absolutely insane.

"You mother fuck-"He tried to speak so I leaned down and punched him again. He grabbed his face and went back down against the pavement. I saw the blood pooling below him and I knew I had finally done damage.

" Do not go near her, talk about her or even think about her, ever. " I whispered angrily so that he could hear me. I wasn't fucking around with this, I would kill him.

He groaned in response and continued to hold his face.

I walked away and left him there.

He deserved it.

Now I needed to search the park to find her. Where would I even start? I had no idea where she would be?

My adrenaline was running to hard right now I could barely stay focused. I had so much energy and I was going to put it to good use. I needed to find her.

Please be okay. Please don't be hurt. Please be safe.

I can lose the girl I love. The one person in this world I love.

I started walking, looking everywhere and yelling her name.

I needed to find her.

**MALLORY**

I can hear people everywhere around me.

I dont care.

I want to go home but I cant bring myself to get up.

I want to find Tyler but he won't want me anymore.

I ran away from him.

I'm too young.

I lie.

I cheat.

I deal drugs.

I hope he doesnt hate me. Please dont hate me. I need him. I need him so fucking much.

My tears wont stop betraying me. I couldnt look strong and happy even if I wanted to, because I'm not. I'm sad, depressed and I hate myself. My tears keep flowing down my cheeks, onto the bench .

The bench is cold, I like it.

Its getting colder outside. I wish I had a jacket. I didnt plan this out. I only wore a long sleeve shirt, jeans and sneakers. Not exactly the best "lay on a bench in a park" outfit. Fuck.

I need someone to find me. I need to get out of here.

I need to tell Tyler the truth.

**TYLER**

Its completely dark outside.

I've been looking for her for three hours.

I'm beyond panicking.

Where the fuck is she?

Why cant I find her?

I love her. I need her.

Where is she?

I've been running around this park like a mad man searching for her.

Its too big. I cant cover all the space here.

I cant figure out where she is.

We should have brought our cell phones. Fuck.

I cant lose her, where is she.

Fuck someone please help me.

I need to find her.

I'm fucking nervous as shit that somethings happened but I dont want to go to the cops. I keep thinking that I'll find her. Just a few more feet, I'll find her.

They wont have the urgency I do in this situation.

Shes old enough that it wont be looked at as bad.

I dont have any evidence that she was taken.

I'll look like the boyfriend who got in a fight with her and she ran away. They'll make me the bad guy.

I need to find her on my own.

I've asked people if they've seen her. I've retraced our walk into the park. I cant find her.

I cant believe this. I've lost her.

Something bad had to have happened.

No. I cant believe that. Shes tough. She would defend herself, right?

No. Shes tiny.

If Neil had anything to do with this..I swear..

I'll just go down a few more paths and then I'll go to her apartment. If shes not there I'm calling the cops. I need to make sure shes safe. I need her.

I'm shaking. I'm nervous. My stomach is in knots.

The adrenaline from Neil has worn off, I wish it hadnt. It was keeping me going to fast and strong. I felt like no one could stop me. Then, when it wore off I felt incredibly tired.

"Mallory!" I continue to yell. No one ever answers me, people turn their heads and stare but give me no help.

I walk.

I walk more.

Shes not here.

It's dark.

Where is she?

Wait.

I start running as fast as I possibly can.

Theres a girl wearing a shirt the same blue color as hers when we left. Please be her. Please.

"Mallory?" Its definitely her. I'd know her anywhere. Shes laying a bench and curled into a ball. Shes facing the back of the bench so I cant see her face. Its her. I dont even need to see her face to know that.

I just know her.

"Sweetheart?" I fall down to my knees beside the bench and whisper. "Mallory, baby?"

"Tyler?" Her voice is hoarce and soft.

"Holy shit you scared the hell out of me. Are you okay, love?" I pull on her shoulder to get her to turn towards me. She does slowly and I see her face is covered in tears. You can see the makeup lines where the tears were.

What happened her?

"Thank you." She whispers again and I try to sit her up. I get her to move and I pull her onto my lap.

"How did you end up here?"

"I dont know, I'm lost." She sounded so fucking scared. Of course she did, shes been laying on a bench in the cold for probably hours.

"You're not lost anymore, Mallory. I found you. As long as you have me you'll never be lost again." I kissed her forehead. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I couldnt find you."

"Its not your fault." She was getting better at answering me, like I was bringing her out of the fog she was in.

"Yes, it was. I'm sorry. I can never say that enough. I shouldnt have left you alone."

"I ran away from you." I froze. What? " I was scared and I ran."

Thats the one thing I've been afarid of the entire time I've known her.

I never want her to run away from me.

I can feel my heartbeat speed up. I hope shes not thinking we should break up.

"Why?"

"Because I lied to you." She sounds like shes in so much pain.

"About what?" She paused and sucked in a deep breath before looking up into my eyes.

"I'm not twenty one." Oh. Not what I was expecting.

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen." Fuck. Shes fucking young. I didnt realize that. She doesnt look that young. Her eyes do though. Thats the first thing I noticed.

Wait. I knew she was that young, she did lie to me. That night we met I told her she looked that young and she laughed it off like it was nothing. That mask of hers was up and she played me. I knew it.

"Its okay, sweetheart."

"What? You dont hate me? You're not going to leave me? Aiden said you didnt like younger women." She sounded confused. She thought I would leave her? No. Especially not over something as insigificant as age. That wouldnt make sense.

I'm still freaked out, slightly. She is right, I dont date younger women. She is the exception to every single rule though. I couldnt be without her just because shes three years younger than I thought she was. Shes still the same person, I still love her.

I love her so fucking much.

"No, of course not. I dont like that you lied to me but you did it before we were anything special. You just thought I was a client, you were protecting yourself. I get that. I wish you would have told me after that but..whatever."

"Why are you being so nice?"

"I dont want to lose you." Because I love you.

**MALLORY**

Maybe there is some hope for us.

**...*comes out of hiding* What'd you think!**

**Please leave me a review: tell me something you liked, something you want more of, something you thought was interesting, a character you love, a character you hate..anything. **


	24. Chapter 24 Tyler Mallory

**Here's chapter 24! Woo! Whoever catches my references in this chapter gets 10 points. Leave it in the reviews if you catch them ;) **

**Charlie, there is one line in here especially dedicated to you. See if you can find it. **

**Not really edited as much as I'd like so sorry for any mistakes. **

**TYLER**

Its been a week since I brought Mallory to the spot in the park that was my private place.

A week since I showed her my own sanctuary.

A week since its now become a place of worry and stress.

Its been a week since she told me her real age.

A week since she thought I would leave her.

A week since she had no faith in me.

How could she do that? I wasn't impressed with her lying, it bothered me. I hated that she hadn't just told me the truth. Fucking Aiden heard about that the next day. What did he think he was doing telling her shit about me? He knew she was a prostitute when he told her to say that, did he think I'd never find out? Would it have mattered if she never lied? If she had told me that she was eighteen from the start would I have still pursued her? Probably not. I wouldn't have touched her.

Which I guess makes the anger go away because theres no way I would want to live my life without her. I can't. She's my other half.

I guess what bothers me the most isn't that she's actually eighteen, its that she really thought that'd be a deal breaker for me.

That bothers me.

I wish she didn't think that. I wish she had more faith in me…in us.

It's been a week since I punched Neil.

A week since he went down hard on the pavement and I watched him bleed.

I enjoyed that way too much. I wanted to see him in pain, see the hurt in his eyes. It was never enough, I would never be able to damage him as hard as he did me. He feels no remorse about his past. I want him to feel it, every single fucking day.

I will find a way to make him feel it, I will.

This week has been very interesting.

I spent the night will Mallory after her breakdown in the park. We didn't talk, we didn't fuck, we just laid in her bed and slept. I didn't understand it.

We weren't fucking each others brains out to get a message across.

I didn't want to fuck her right now though. I was still coming off the fact that she was so young. Part of me felt like I had taken something away from her, some innocence. Then I remembered that it had been taken a long time ago and it saddened me.

Still, We had no communication what so ever.

It was completely unlike us.

It freaked me out at first, that we weren't communicating in any way but at the same time I figured that meant that we were growing. We were expanding our relationship to something more. I hoped that's what we were doing. I guess fucking wasn't always the best way to solve things anyways. If laying down with each other and listening to her heartbeat was how we'd get over this bump then I was happy to oblige.

I left the next day and went home for a few days. We'd hang out, go to dinner or just hang out but I wouldn't stay over. I wanted to give her space. That's the excuse I was giving but I had ulterior motives. I wanted her to want me, I wanted her to see what I do for her. How I make her feel. I wanted her to know that I am apart of her and she doesn't even realize it because I'm always there. When I'm not there, I want things to be different.

Truthfully I want things to be worse when I'm not there. That makes me sound like an absolute asshole but its true. I want her to miss me. I want her to need me, really truly need me.

Mostly though, I just want her to finally fucking realize it and tell me. I need to hear something from her that isn't pushing me away. I need something from her.

I shouldn't be saying that, or thinking that. I keep going back and forth with how to handle Mallory. I don't know what to do with her. Its fucking frustrating because I just want there to be no issues, I want everything to be out in the open. I'm sick of hiding. I feel like I'm lying to her about my feelings and that's fucking stupid. I shouldn't have to do that.

But I do. And I will. For as long as she needs, I'll wait.

Because I love her and I would never want to push her into something she didn't want just because I couldn't stop myself.

I went back to her place on Tuesday to stay and I felt like everything went back to place. We almost immediately fucked and then had a whispered conversation in the dark. It wasn't what I wanted to talk about, she kept worrying about her age and asking me if it was alright. I had to reassure her over and over again that its fine and that I don't care. We had far bigger issues to deal with than the fact that shes a few years younger, I kept telling her that and she kept freaking out anyways.

The rest of the stuff we talked about was things like how much I had missed her when I didn't sleep beside her. She agreed, saying that she sleeps better when she's wrapped around me. I guess that was a baby step towards what I wanted, her to open up. I tried to get more out of her but she shut down on me.

I had gone to work for a few hours, helping Sal with some special holiday orders he had. I couldn't wait to get home though. I just wanted to be with her, as much as possible.

I walked into the apartment and she was wearing a long winter coat, high heels and grabbing her bag.

"Where are you going?"

"Tyler!" She sounded surprised to see me, but not in a good way. "I just need to go out and do a few things."

"Oh, do you want me to go with you?"

"No, that's alright. I'm just going to do some errands."

"In heels?"

"I-I-I just want to look..nice." That sounded like total bullshit.

"Yeah, okay."

"Can't I go out and look nice once in a while? Or do you always want me to look like shit when I go out?" She was pissed at me all of a sudden, I don't know what got into her.

"Mallory, sweetheart, you never ever look like shit. Ever. You're always beautiful."

"That's a lie Tyler Hawkins and you know it." She was more playful now and I was glad I had pulled her away from the anger. I didn't want her to be angry with me.

"It is not, you're my beautiful girlfriend and I-" _love you. _"Wouldn't lie about that." Nice catch, not.

"Well..thank you." She moved closer to the door before coming towards me and kissing me hard on the lips. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close. The kiss got more passionate and intense as our lips moved against each others, tongues poking out to taste. She pulled away before me. "I need to go, I'll be back in a few hours."

"Hours?"

"Yes, sorry. I, um, I have a lot to do."

"Alright, see you later." "Wait, will you be home for dinner?"

"Yes."

"Okay, good." She left without another word.

**MALLORY**

I'm heading to the club to see Max. Not to fuck, just to get my fucking money. He said that I could have it anytime after the last deal I'd done, I just hadn't gone back to get it yet. I was still pretty messed up from the day at Central park with Tyler.

Apparently though, I had raked in almost five thousand dollars from doing those two deals. Wow. That was huge money. Quick, fast and lots of money.

Part of my brain was telling me that I should just stay on as a dealer for Max. What could it hurt? Tyler didn't know. As long as I didn't fuck anyone I could just keep dealing and making all this fucking money. I Could afford so much more if I did that.

That part of my brain was immediately shut down by the rest of me, I couldn't do that. No matter how much money was thrown at me I couldn't keep dealing. I needed to stay away. I needed to keep myself safe.

I had to do it for myself. I had to do it for Tyler.

Is that really what I expected though?

My outfit told me that I thought otherwise. I was wearing club attire and shoes. I was ready for whatever was coming for me there and I hated that. I'm going in there like a fucking sitting duck, waiting for someone to decide what to do with me. I should have worn whatever I wanted to. I should have more control over my own damn life.

Right now, I feel like I Have no control over anything. I feel incredibly lost and vulnerable. I feel like Tyler has one thing he wants from me, which is what I should probably have. Max has another idea about what my life should entail and its nothing that I would want.

Then there's me, what do I want?

I have no idea.

I want what Tyler wants but I don't think its possible

I don't think I'm smart enough to do what he wants me to do. I don't think I can just go out and get another job. I don't have any experience anywhere and they aren't hiring anywhere.

Where does that get me?

No where.

I'm lost.

It's a catch 22.

But I've already quit.

I'm already done at the club. I was just doing a few more jobs because I felt like I had to, because I didn't want him to hurt Tyler. I never want him to hurt Tyler. That would just absolutely kill me.

He cant touch Tyler.

I don't want anyone to hurt him, ever. He's gone through enough, he doesn't need my shit too.

I felt horrible lying to him again today. I didn't mean to, I thought I"d leave before he go thome and he'd never even know that I left. It would have been perfect that way.

Ever since last week in the park I feel like I have this giant fucking backpack full of my guilt and lies. I feel it every single second of every single day. Every time I look at him I feel it get heavier. It sucks. I cant even function correctly.

I was oddly happy when he left to go home and sleep for a couple nights. I could clear my head and think about how I can approach the situation.

I need to figure out how to go in and come out with him still with me.

I can't see how it will work.

He's going to leave me, he will.

Theres maybe a 1% chance that he will stay. I need to focus on that 1%. That will be my saving grace, my blue skies in the clouds. I need that.

I just can't figure out how to tell him I quit, but I'm still fucking Max so basically I cheated on you. Oh and I deal drugs, like hardcore fucking drugs. I almost got molested by some man the last time I did it, but I ran away. Its totally okay though, I'm kind of done now, at least I think.

I don't even really know if I'm completely done with Max, I want to be. I completely want to be. I'd be happy if I never saw his fucking face again. He just may have a harder time letting me go. He wont want to, he'll want me for something else.

There's going to come a time when I'm going to have to just say, No. I'm going to have to take whatever repercussions will come with it. I'll have to find a way to get Tyler out of the mix so that he doesn't suffer for my stupidity.

I walk into the club and go towards the back, the only place I ever go now. I look at the girls as I'm walking through, we used to be friends. I guess we were only friends because we worked at this place. That sucks. Clara is walking some man towards the private rooms, she knows how to get it done.

"Max."

"Mallory! What a surprise, did you miss me?"

"Not so much, I'm here for my cash."

"Ah, you want to get paid?" He winked.

"Yes, you said if I stopped by I could get my money, I'm here."

"Take off your coat, stay a while."

"I'm good thank you."

"Come on, just have a little drink." He motioned for someone to pour us drinks, I didn't want one but I knew there was no turning back now. I had come here to get my money and I was going to get it. I saw down on the other side of the desk. A glass was set down in front of me and one infront of Max.

"So, how are thing's going with your toy?" He asked as he sipped his drink. I brought mine up to my lips and took a small one, my throat burning at it. Scotch.

"My toy?"

"Yes, that man that is so infatuated with you."

"We're over." I lied. I wanted him to stay clear of Tyler, I wanted him to think we were done so that he wouldn't have any leverage to use over me.

"Oh?" His face showed mock surprise. "He couldn't handle your..lifestyle?"

"Yeah." I didn't care what he needed to think to get Tyler off his mind, I just wanted him off.

"Does that mean that I get to have you back?"

"No. I quit."

"Yes, but since you don't have your boy to support you I figured that you'd want you're job back."

"No I'm going to find something else." He started laughing, at me. I cringed. It was the response I'm sure a lot of people would give me when I went out to find work. They'd instantly judge me for not having experience. I'd hope they wouldn't find out I worked here, that would be bad. I mean I know that I'm eighteen and what eighteen year old has experience? I don't even really have an education though, I dropped out and never got my diploma. I'm screwed.

"Something else? Like what?"

"I haven't decided yet. I have time." Especially since you're giving me that fucking money.

"Yes, I suppose." He drank his drink and looked away from me. I took a large sip of mine, I had been drinking a lot recently. "How about I make you a deal?"

Oh no. This can't be good.

"You do one more deal for me, just one more." I was already shaking my head no. I didn't want to, I was done. The last one hadn't gone well and I didn't want to do another.

"You do this last one and I'll pay you ten thousand." Fuck you, you fucking asshole. If I'm going to be quitting I need the money, who knows when I'll be able to find a job? Right?

No. Don't do it Mallory. You know its not for you. You came here on a mission and you're going to destroy it if you say yes.

But the money would be great to have, I could even put some into a savings, maybe even go to school at some point? School? What the fuck? Who am I right now?

No. I can't do this. It would be horrible to lie to Tyler again. No.

I refuse to do that to him. I cant. I cant do it to myself. I need to stay strong.

"Aiden stopped by last night." My eyes instantly lifted to connect with his, giving my recognition of his name away. "You know him, Tyler's roommate? He seems to have a thing for Clara." Fuck him. He knows Tylers name. He fucking knows his name. Fuck. I want to kill Aiden. I want to fucking kill him, but he had no idea what he was doing. He thought she was just a hooker I bet. He figured nothing he said was relevant to her. Max was speaking as if he was just telling a friend a funny story, but I knew there would be more to this.

"Apparently, Tyler has been staying with you a lot. Tyler Hawkins, right?" He paused. I can feel the blood rushing out of my body, he knows his full name. That's bad. Really bad. My heart is squeezing tight in my chest. "Aiden is a drunk talker." He explained as if it was just part of the story, like I had asked how he would know that. He knew it because he knows people who can look shit up. He's done it for clients before. Hell he did it on every single one of us girls. He has ways he can look up your entire history, know every single fucking thing about you.

"She says shes been over to their apartment a few times." I can feel my breathing become shallow and faster, my heart feels like a knife is pushing through it. I know where he's going with this. I know exactly where he's going. How dare he? How dare he blackmail me into this? Who does he think he is?

"Okay. So what?" I tried to act nonchalant, I tried. I don't think it worked, he could hear the nerves in my voice. My voice almost cracked at the end. I was going to cry, I was going to breakdown.

"Did you know he killed his brother? He drove drunk and killed him coming home from a party. He seems like quite an asshole if you ask me." He shook his head. "What type of man does that, Mallory?"

How dare he speak about Tyler like that? How dare he accuse him of things he has no idea about.

It took everything I fucking have to not jump over the table and claw his fucking eyes out. To take the knife I was positive that was in this desk and cut his fucking dick off so he could never fuck again. No, I wanted to stab him in the heart and make sure he never hurt anyone again. So many possibilities of how to hurt him were going through my mind.

I wanted to fucking kill Max right now.

I would have no remorse.

I would enjoy it.

For all the things he did to me, to all these girls.

For all the men and women he's killed. I know there are a lot.

I just wanted him gone.

He knew everything. He knew it and I don't know how. Aiden wouldn't have spilled that information, he was better than that.

"I know you say you're done seeing him but wouldn't you hate for something bad to happen to him?"

I didn't speak. I didn't trust myself to be honest. I didn't know what I'd say if I let myself talk. "Especially since it would be you're fault and all. Just because you wouldn't do one simple thing. One job."

I was glaring at him as forcefully as I could, trying to project all of my anger into my eyes. I wanted him to know how much I hated him. I wanted him to know that if I ever got the chance I would kill him. I wouldn't hesitate, he would be dead.

"The job is for tomorrow, three in the afternoon. Be here early, I'd like to talk before you leave." Talk? He wanted to fuck. I cant even fucking believe he was doing this to me. He wanted to fucking fuck again. He thought he was going to get it in me after all that fucking shit?

I wanted to say that he wouldn't. He never would, but he probably would. He'd get his way. I would protect Tyler now. As much as I didn't want to have anything to do with Max, I would protect Tyler.

I knew how Tyler felt when he'd freak the fuck out, I knew exactly how he felt. Because right now, in this moment I was seeing red. So much fucking red. I wanted to kill Max more than I'd wanted anything in the world. I wanted to protect Tyler from anything bad. I didn't want someone to hurt him, go near him, anything.

I was the reason he was in this mess. I was the reason he was on Max's hit list. I was the reason he would be so hurt when I told him what I'd been doing.

I was fucking everything up without even trying to anymore.

"I'll do it." My voice was hard. I made sure I didn't sound scared or nervous. I wanted him to be afraid of me now. I wanted him to wonder why I wasn't scared. He probably already knew though. He had found my weakness. He had found it and used it to his advantage.

And I let him.

**I would love to give a special thank you to Debbie in for always leaving me incredibly detailed reviews on her thoughts about the chapter, things shes worried about, the characters, my writing and her predictions for the future. You're reviews are ones that I look forward to after I post every chapter & I appreciate the time you take to write them.**

**Alright, what'd you think? Lay it on me. **

**What would you have done if you were in Mallory's position?**


	25. Chapter 25 Tyler Mallory

**Mallory has been receiving some serious hate and truthfully I feel bad. I feel like someone is hating my best friend or sister. I love her and I get that she's messed up. Please be patient with her, she's trying. She can't see another way around this. She can't see a way for Tyler to not get hurt unless she does what Max says. **

**This fic is full of angst. It's not full of rainbows and butterflies. It's not going to leave you with a warm fuzzy feeling after every chapter, sometimes yes but not always. I love angst fic's & I felt that these two characters were perfect for one. Things may get worse before they get better but I won't end this fic on a bad/sad/angry note, trust me on that. **

**Please stay with me in this & find out what happens to these two.**

**Stinepiigen; this chapter is dedicated to you. Thank you for promoting this fic as much as you can, always sending me the sweetest tweets, being a huge fan of my fic and just being awesome. I hope you enjoy what's for dessert.**

**Stinepiigen**

**TYLER**

I decide to make homemade macaroni and cheese tonight because it's the one thing that my mom used to make me and Michael when we were kids. It's my only comfort food. I haven't had it since I was about thirteen but for some reason I want it. I'm hoping that Mallory likes it too. It brings back good memories for me, which is rare from my childhood.

I don't know if I'll tell her the background on it, I may just leave it alone and let her eat and be content without all the heavy dramatics that go inside my head. I always feel like I'm telling her something about me, or my background. I don't want her to think that all I do is dwell on it, because I don't. I think about her most of the time.

She consumes my thoughts and my heart.

I hear her key jiggling in the lock as I'm pulling the macaroni and cheese out of the oven. She has her head down and her body language tells me something's wrong. When she looks up I'm shocked. She looks like shit.

I mean, shes always beautiful like I said but she looks absolutely horrible right now. Like she's been crying, screaming, stressed, anxious. All of the above. She wasn't wearing the same thing she had left in, I noticed she now had jeans, sneakers and a tshirt on. She was carrying her coat.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her shoulders as she leans into me. Her skin was ice cold, she hadn't been wearing her jacket? "You're freezing"

"I'm just having a bad day." Her eyes were dull and lifeless. I hated it.

"Is there something I can do?"

"No. Its okay." She pulls away from me and looks into the kitchen.

"Are you still up for dinner?"

"Yeah."

"I made macaroni and cheese, but its homemade so its not any of that easy stuff you make all the time." I saw her face light up a little bit.

"Does that mean it has the crunchy things on top?"

"No, I don't like them." A small smile played on her lips, I was happy that I made her happy. She needed to smile, I hated to see her frown.

"Good, me too."

We sit down and eat in silence. Its not the uncomfortable silence, the one where you feel like anything you do the other person is listening or watching. It was the silence you get around people you know, around people that you care about. People you love in my case. I was happy to be with her and she seemed more relaxed when she was around me.

"That was really good, Tyler. Thank you." The light was coming back into her eyes, slowly.

"Of course, you know I'll cook for you anytime you want." I meant it. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah I'm just..I'm stressed. I have a lot on my mind. I'm sorry I'm so spacey." She shrugged. I picked up our plates and put them in the sink. I went over to the freezer and pulled out ice cream I had picked up while she was gone. I had gone to the store to get a few things and decided we needed dessert. Maybe it would make her a little happier. and then grabbed the chocolate sauce.

"Would this make you feel better?" I sat it down in front of her.

"You got ice cream?" Her face lit up.

"Yes, do you like this kind?"

"Yes!" She was so excited that before I could even grab bowls she was already eating out of the carton. I was so glad I had picked that up.

"No, please, don't wait for me." I joked at her as she took a giant spoonful and put it in her mouth. She swallowed some of it and stuck her tongue out at me.

"I'm sorry I lied to you." She randomly blurted out as I stuck my spoon in the ice cream.

"Mallory, I've told you before that its fine. It doesn't matter to me. "

"I know, but still." She sounded so depressed. "I hate lying to you."

"I would hope so. I'm not the biggest fan of it either, but we're over that. Don't worry." I smiled and rubbed her hand that wasn't holding a spoon of ice cream.

"I care about you so much." I whispered, looking directly at her.

She threw her spoon down and threw herself at me, pushing her lips against mine and straddling me against the chair. It happened so fast I didn't have time to react.

When I realized what was happening I grabbed her waist and pulled her to me even more. I groaned into her mouth as she slid her tongue in mine, swirling and searching. I kept my hands on her waist pulling her closer while her hands went directly to my hair and began pulling.

Our lips were moving roughly against each others, like we were both kissing each other for the last time and needed to make the most of it. It wouldn't be the last time though, If I have it my way I will kiss her like this forever.

"I need you." She moaned into my mouth. Her words went straight to my dick which was already hard and pressed against her center.

I stood up, taking her with me and laid her down on the table. It wasn't very graceful and yet she moaned as her back slammed against the wood. She pulled her shirt off and went to unbutton her pants. I put my hand over hers, "Slow down."

I leaned over the table and onto her body and started kissing her lips. Once I needed to breathe I started to move my way down her body. I kissed her jaw, ears, neck, collarbone. When I got to her chest I paused, she was wearing a bright red silk bra. Holy shit. I started kissing around the swell of her boobs that were spilling out of the silk. I moved around and kissed down her stomach and to her jeans. When I lifted my lips from her she let out a breath of frustration.

"Let's get these off of you." I unbuttoned them and pulled them down her legs. The red was repeated on her panties, they were small and probably a thong. I swear she only wore thongs, it was fucking incredible.

I looked over at the ice cream and chocolate sauce on the table, thinking that I should move it because we we're paying attention and it would get all over us.

It would get all over us.

I didn't even think before I grabbed the chocolate sauce and poured some on her stomach without warning.

I wanted to lick it off her.

She squealed at the feeling not realizing what I had done. When she looked at me and my eyes were staring down at her flat stomach covered in chocolate she moaned. I looked up to meet her eyes hooded with want, I knew mine reflected the same thing. I leaned down slowly until I was an inch above her stomach. I could smell the chocolate on her, I wanted to taste it. I saw her watching me, waiting for me to taste her.

I flicked my tongue out and caught some of the chocolate. She arched her back off the table, begging me to keep going.

I went back down and started to lick and suck on her. I noticed that chocolate had made its way down to her hips and I moved my mouth there and began to lap it up. This was fucking delicious. I could never eat chocolate the same way again. Alone it tasted fantastic but on her sweet skin it was even better.

When I licked the last bit of chocolate off her I backed up. She immediately opened her eyes, questioning my actions.

"I'm not going anywhere, I just want to try something else. Is that okay?"

"Yes." She breathed.

I bent down and kissed around her bare pussy. I could smell her arousal and it made me harder. I could tell she wanted me, she kept moving her hips, trying to get more out of me. I wouldn't give it.

I leaned across the table and grabbed a spoon, I shoved it into the ice cream and got some. I held it over her stomach and let some drip down before putting it in my mouth.

I bent down keeping the ice cream on my tongue before swallowing it .My tongue was freezing now. I poked my tongue out from my lips and slid it along her pussy. She gasped and jolted on the table. She was soaking wet and the cold sensations must have hit her hard. I kept licking around until I felt my tongue warm up from her. I moved up her body and licked the ice cream that had dripped off and landed on her stomach. She squirmed at my touch. I backed up again and dug the spoon into the ice cream grabbing more this time. I hovered it above her pussy before dropping it right on top of her slit. She shivered and I moved my mouth down to start licking around her clit. The ice cream was slowly dripping down, cold and creamy. She was shaking and moaning at every flick of my tongue. The mixture of hot and cold, ice cream and her juices, it was fantastic.

I felt her start to get louder and I knew I was going to make her cum, I shoved two of my fingers inside of her while keeping my tongue rotating on her clit and began pumping. She screamed out my name along with some swears as she came on my fingers. I kept going, making her ride out the entire orgasm before pulling out my fingers and standing up straight.

I pulled my pants off , my dick was so hard and ready for her. I shoved into her while she was still catching her breath. She was so fucking tight and wet. I could feel the stickiness of the ice cream and cum but it just intensified the sensations.

I kept going deeper into her with each thrust, my legs hitting the edge of the table. She was writhing under me, moaning loudly and grabbing at the table with her hands.

I pounded into her harder and harder until I could feel myself on the edge. Her walls were clenching around me with each stroke into her, I knew she was close again.

"Come on, baby." I growled at her and started rotating my hips as I went deeper. I couldn't wait any longer and exploded inside of her. As I did it must have triggered her own orgasm because I could feel her convulsing again. I collapsed on top of her, my breathing heavy.

"Holy fuck."

"I fucking love ice cream." She whispered and then I heard her laugh. "How did you think of that?"

"I don't really know but the taste of you and ice cream..I'm going to want that again."

"Oh really?" She sat up and rubbed her hands over my chest.

"Yes." She took a spoonful of ice cream and put it in her mouth before leaning over and kissing me. The ice cream lingering in our mouths after she pulled away. It was fucking hot. She leaned her head against my chest as I stood in front of her. We were both on the post sex high and we were tired as fuck.

"Want to go lay down?"

"Please."I pulled up my pants and left my shirt and all her clothes on the floor. Picking her up I brought her down to her bedroom. I put her down so she could go get into some clothes and I took off my jeans, leaving myself in my boxers. I went to the bathroom to clean up because my dick was so fucking sticky from that ice cream, totally worth it though.

I would never be able to eat ice cream or chocolate without getting a hard on again.

Mallory came in the bathroom behind me, still naked, with clothe s in her hands.

"Put your clothes down." I told her as turned on the sink and grabbed a wash cloth. I put it under some hot water and rung it out. "Do you mind?" I asked holding out the cloth.

"No." I began rubbing the cloth against her skin, picking up all the ice cream and chocolate sauce that had been left over. Even though she was naked, it wasn't sexual at all. It was romantic in a way, I was taking care of her body. I was cleaning her, worshiping her in a way other than sex. I was kind of surprised she was letting me, she was still so hesitant to intimate things sometimes. I could usually get away with a lot now, she'd let me hold her hand and cuddle with her. There was only sometimes that my intimacy would get denied and I could never figure out why.

Usually it was when she was stressed or spacey, like tonight. That made me wonder why tonight was different. Why she hadn't been pushing me away?

I put the cloth under the water again and brought it back to her skin. She hummed and closed her eyes as I began rubbing over her breasts, shoulders, neck and down her arms. When I had covered every inch of her body I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her getting the excess water off.

She kissed me on the cheek before dropping her towel and changing into one of my white v necks and boyshorts. She looked so fucking sexy with her hair still messed up from the table and her cheeks blushed. Although I think the best part was that she was wearing my shirt. I loved it when she wore my clothes.

We both went over and got into bed, I put my arm around her and she leaned into me. She was different tonight. I wonder what had her in such a bad mood. I didn't really understand it. She was never this clingy to me. Not that she really was in the sense of the word, but for her, this was clingy.

I wasn't complaining, I liked it to tell you the truth.

**MALLORY**

The guilt was overwhelming. I don't know if I could handle it.

I would need to lie again. I would need to do another deal.

How come all this shit keeps happening to me?

Is there some fucking higher power making sure I can never have anything happy or good in my life? Are they giving me options that both suck so that I cant decide. So that I pick the wrong one? Is there even a right one?

No matter what I do someone is going to get hurt. If I don't do the deal though, theres a chance me and Tyler will get hurt. Maybe even killed. I can't risk that. I need to be the only one who can be hurt in this. I'm the only one who could handle it. I think.

No one would coming looking for me if I died anyways.

I have no family or friends really. No one to come looking for me. No one to miss me. Not even the girls at the club that I've known for years are my friends. They wouldn't ask questions anyways, they know better. They would know not to mess around with it because it would be deadly for them as well. That meant that I was a casualty that didn't matter.

Especially to Max.

Tyler would be the only one to care. He would be the only one to search for me, to try to help me.

He's the one who can't be hurt.

He had family. He had someone that would realize that he was missing, that would know something was wrong. As fucked up as his parents are they would still know when something wasn't right with their son. They would call him and he wouldn't answer.

They would want to meet for a horrid lunch and he wouldn't show.

They would know and they would try to figure it out.

I can't think like that though, Tyler getting hurt isn't an option. Its not going to happen. He's going to be safe and he always will be. I would rather die a hundred times than put him through any more pain.

Though my ind can't stop thinking that I know that Tyler's dad is a lawyer and he probably knows some powerful people. I wonder if they're as powerful as Max? Could they help me get out of this?

No. I couldn't even ask if I wanted to. If they wont help their own son what makes me think they're going to help the whore who's fucking him?

I cant even believe I'm saying that. I don't even recognize myself anymore. I really don't.

I also don't want to go back to the old me though. I'm content with the fact that there is now someone else in my life that I would put before me. I care about him, I really do. I woulndn't be doing all this fucking dealings and shit if it wasn't for him. I would still be dancing on the damn poll and fucking men in the back.

I know theres a chance I'll have to go back to that at some point but I don't want to.

Being with Tyler has made me feel so dirty when I do that. Not the good, sexy dirty either. The dirty, slutty, whore type. He makes me feel like I can do better than that, even if I actually have no idea what I can do that's better than that. As much as I want to believe hes right and that I'm smart enough and good enough for the life he thinks I can have, I don't think I am.

There's part of me that is yelling _what are you doing? You're always going to be a whore. Stick with what you know. Don't end up on the street. Why are you listening to some random man?_ But he's not some random man, he's my boyfriend.

He stands up for me and that is why I am going to stand up for him.

He cares about me and I care about him.

That's all there is.

That's all I need to focus on the next twenty four hours.

When I left Max I was a wreck. I couldn't focus on anything, I was almost numb from the conversation. I had a bag of clothes with me that I changed into and I left with my coat in hand. I ended up going to a small park near my house that I'd been to a few times. I didn't know why I went there. I guess its because I didn't want Tyler to see me like this. When everything sank in I started crying. Sobbing actually. I couldn't stop. I was shaking and freezing but I refused to put on my jacket. I enjoyed the sharp pain of the wind against my skin. I welcomed it. It felt like I was punishing myself for all my fucking stupidity. All my mistakes. I just sat there and let it all come out.

I was trying to think of a way out of it all but I couldn't. Tomorrow was inevitable.

Maybe though I could do something after? I mean, I didn't need the money. I could just do the deal tomorrow and never talk to Max again. Never go back there, never speak to anyone from there. Tyler and I could either move in with Aiden or something. I just needed to get through tomorrow.

I don't even know how long I was there for. I left when it was dark.

People probably stared, I didn't even think about that. I wasn't conscious enough of my own surroundings to even know there were people around me until I left. I hoped that I didn't look too bad. I hoped that Tyler wouldn't notice.

He did. He noticed immediately.

I brushed it off and luckily he didn't ask questions. He didn't even realize that I had changed outfits.

He was such a good fucking boyfriend and the guilt was just radiating from me. He cooked me dinner and the entire time all I could think about was making sure nothing bad happened to him. He was good to me, he did whatever he could for me. He was trying to make me smile.

As we sat there eating my thought process started changing. I shouldn't be a sulking mess around him, I should be happy. At least I have him. At least he cares about me.

I can do this. I can be happy with him. My idea from the park came flying back into my head. I can get through tomorrow and be done and never go back. Once tomorrow is done if I don't get the money I'll just fucking leave. I don't care anymore. I won't let this come between us. I can't let Max win. I care about Tyler too much for that.

My thoughts turned into words without my knowledge and I had told him I cared about him. I know I didn't tell him often and he wanted to hear it. I knew he did. He just didn't understand all the motivations behind it this time.

I couldn't stop myself from kissing him. I needed him. He gave into me instantly.

Now we're laying in bed. I'm curled against his side, my legs intertwined with his. I need to enjoy this. I need to make sure that I take in every single detail of this moment

Just in case.

I'm worried about tomorrow, I don't know what this job is. I want to make sure I can give Tyler an out. I need to make sure I can distance myself from him and we'll both be okay.

I don't think I can do that.

I don't even think its possible anymore.

When he had left this past weekend I had thought I would be able to do it. I really thought that okay, I can do this. I'm still in a place where I could leave if I needed to. I was wrong though. I couldn't. I wouldn't admit it to myself but looking back now I had missed him like crazy. I had wanted him and craved him every single fucking minute that he wasn't with me.

"Thank you." I whispered at him as we laid in the dark.

"For what? Dinner? Or having you for dessert?" He chuckled.

"Everything." I meant it.

**Leave a review & I'll send Tyler over to you with some ice cream.**


	26. Chapter 26 Mallory

PLEASE read this A/N if you don't mind, I talk about a lot of cool things you may want to know.

First off, I love all my readers. You're all amazing for all the recommending you've been doing to your friends and all the beautiful reviews you've left me! Wow. I'm always excited to hear what you all think!

**I also want to thank **_**Spunk Ransom**_** for doing a post about this fic and recommending it to people! : ) Go to my ff page to get a link to their post!**

Cool Name who reviewed chapter 12 with some songs, I love them! There was only one that I hadn't heard of and I went and listen to it immediately. Thanks for sending those to me though! Definitely do it again if you come across any! I want to put them in the final It's All On You Soundtrack.

Michelle, who recommended the lyrics to Little Bit by Lykke Li and I found them to be so perfect! I fell in love with them and ended up making a couple edits for IAOY with them! Thank you, I'm going to be adding that song to the final soundtrack as well.

Anyone else, do you have a song that reminds you of this story, Mallory, Tyler, their situations? Or just one that you love to watch while you read? Let me know please! I took out the soundtrack chapter so that I could put a new and improved one in later on!

If anyone is looking to translate this story please private message me I'm honored that you want to translate it I just have a few requests before you do! Right now it is in Spanish, German and will be in French soon!

Well now that you all probably skipped that to read the fic anyways here you are, it's pretty intense.

**MALLORY**

I open my eyes to the sun pouring into my bedroom. I'm covered in blankets and I can feel Tyler laying beside me, our legs touching. I just want to spend as much time with him today as I can. I need to make sure this day lasts. I can feel the panic start to rise in my chest.

I don't want three pm to come. I don't want to go.

I start taking deep breaths to calm myself down, its not working.

I roll over and throw my arm over him, pulling myself as close as I can get.

I knew he was sleeping, I could feel his breathing deep, his soft snoring.

"I care about you so much." I whispered into his bare chest, my lips barely grazing him. Even if he was awake he wouldn't be able to hear what I was saying, I was quiet. " I always thought I'd be able to walk away, to leave you whenever I needed to."

"I don't think I can anymore." I kissed his chest. "And I really hate myself for that. I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm really starting to fucking hate myself for all the lying I've done to you. No, I really do hate myself. You don't deserve this, you deserve better."

I rested my head of his chest and just consumed myself in my thoughts. "I wish I could tell you all of this without being such a fucking pussy about it but, I can't." I said to myself more than him, still keeping my voice at a level that only I could hear. It felt good to say it out loud even if he couldn't hear me or respond. It was the first time I had really voiced my opinions and thoughts out loud..ever. I don't do that. I don't like to have others know what goes on in my head.

This felt oddly freeing. Maybe I could just come clean?

No. It was too dangerous and risky. I can't.

I close my mouth and my eyes and just lay there.

I decide that I need to live in the moment. I basically need to pep talk myself through this day and just get it over with. I cant keep thinking that I need to let Tyler go.

No one is going to get hurt, everything is going to be perfectly fine. I will just figure out a way for this all to work out, I'll go do the deal and then leave. I'll maybe get the money that Max owed me but if not that's okay too. I need to not be focused on the money.

I need to be focused on the fact that I need to get out of this. I need to keep myself away from situations like it because I need to be safe. I need to not be an idiot about this shit. I need to just get the fuck away from anything to do with Max.

I need to be happy again.

I know that Tyler makes me happy.

I want to make him happy.

I look up at his sleeping face and go over every line and curve with my eyes. He has a perfect jawline that I just want to kiss and suck on. So I do. I start kissing from his chin up to his ears. At his ears I start nibbling on them every so slightly.

I want him to wake up to me. This seems like the best way.

I moved myself so that I was straddling him, right in his lap. I did it so carefully that my weight barely registered on him, he was still asleep. I leaned down and kissed him directly on the lips before taking his bottom lip into my mouth and sucking softly.

I heard his breathing change so I change back to kissing softly, lightly. I feel him come out of sleep but instead of pushing me away I felt his arms come up around me and grab on to my hips. I backed my face away a few inches to look at him and I saw that his eyes were open and still sleepy.

"What are you doing?" He whispered.

"Waking you up."

"Ah, please wake me up like this more often." He said and I bent down and kissed him harder than before. Our lips were pushing together with open mouth kisses. It was passionate and teasing as we kissed, my hands were up on his chest, his were on my hips.

"You're amazing." He whispered against my lips. "You're so damn beautiful."

"Thank you." I mumbled back, unsure of what exactly I was supposed to say. Confessing my thoughts to a sleeping Tyler was completely different than when he was awake. I didn't know how I felt about it when he would tell me what he thought about me, about us. It fucking freaked me out to be honest. I knew there was things we should talk about but I thought we should just leave them unsaid, at least for now. Until I can get a better grasp on what exactly we have together.

He started trailing kisses down my neck as I turned away to breathe.

"Can we just lay in bed today?" He looked up at me.

"Yes, please." He went back to kissing me immediately.

"Good. I just want to kiss you all over." I half moaned a response back to him in agreement.

"If I tell you something will you promise to not freak out?" He mumbled against my skin.

"Yes." I answered without hesitation. I think I was on a high from the kissing he was doing because when I thought about his question I started to freak out. I wanted to know, even if I was kind of scared about what he would say. What would he want to say? He needed me to promise not to freak out? Why would he think that I was going to freak out?

"Promise?" He pulled away from my neck and I put my arms on either side of his head, hovering inches away from his face. Now I'm starting to freak the fuck out, he's so into this. He really thinks I'm going to freak out.

"Yes, I promise." I whispered, I was scared now. I had just been thinking and well, saying, a lot of thoughts about how I feel about him. He hadn't heard them though, he was sleeping. What could he want to say to me?

"I'm serious." I know that he was.

"So am I." _Curiosity fucking killed the cat. _

"You don't have a good track record for this though."

"For what?"

"Listening when I talk, not running away when I talk. We basically have a horrible problem where whenever we want to talk, something bad will happen." It was true, most of the time it was my fault. I would leave.

My mind instantly went to the fact that at three I would be leaving once again.

No, I cant think like that now.

"I-I know. I just, I never know what to do."

"Well I'm telling you to stay right here with me." He pushed down on my hips with his hands, securing me into place on him. "Please."

"Okay." I said more hesitantly this time. I didn't know what he wanted to say, did he already know about what I've been doing? Would he yell at me? Would he not care?

"I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to talk to you, I want to tell you things. I want to show you in a way that isn't sex how I feel about you."

"Okay." I couldn't think of another word to say.

"You know I care about you." It wasn't a question. I nodded.

"Good." He paused and moved us so that he had his back against the headboard and I was still sitting in his lap.

"Since the day that I met you I've been almost, you could say..obsessed with you." He paused watching my reaction. Obsessed? Lots of me at the club we're obsessed with me. I tried not to give him any signs of my thoughts, I wanted to know where he was going with this. " I know that sounds so fucked up but its true. You mesmerized me. Those eyes of yours..they pulled me in and I couldn't resist you. As much as I wish we hadn't met the way we did, I'm okay with it now. I hate to think that you only hanging out with me for the money but I suppose without that first meeting we wouldn't be here. Without Aiden's stupid ideas and ways of trying to make me feel better, I wouldn't have met you. Did you know that you are the first idea he's ever had that actually worked?"

"It didn't really work at first." I mumbled, it didn't. He denied me, which I know understand was because of Michael but still. At the time I was insulted and hurt. It sucked.

"That is very true, I'm still sorry for that. I shouldn't have treated you like that."

"Don't" I put my finger over his mouth, stopping him from continuing. I was shaking, I think I knew what he was going to say. Half of me was screaming to stop him and the other half was begging him to continue. I don't know which half I wanted to side with.

"When you left I fucking hated everyone even more than I had hours before. That weekend is usually my depressed, drink myself into oblivion time of the year, not that I don't do that anyways but whatever. You however, took me out of that somehow. It wasn't my brother that I was thinking of, it was you. You brightened up my world the second you came into it and I don't even think you know what you did for me, and still do actually. I always felt like I was just about to fall under, just about to lose myself forever. Now that I have you I- I just." He stopped and looked above my head and up at the ceiling.

"Stay." He whispered at me bringing his eyes back to mine. My heartbeat sped. He was going to say something big. I think I knew what it was and I didn't know what to do. I could feel myself tense and I tried to stop it but I couldn't it was my bodies reaction to things like this, intense things, scary things, emotional things. He tightened his grip on my hips. I went to open my mouth, I don't even know what I would say but before I could speak he had lifted one of his hands and put a finger over my mouth. "Don't."

_Mimicking what I had just done to make him stop freaking out over nothing._

_Freaking out over nothing_.

Is that what he was trying to get me to do? Was this nothing? I don't know, I don't even know what he was going to say. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad and he was trying to help me get through it. Help me to not freak out because it was nothing to freak out about. Maybe he would tell me he liked my hair. My eyes we're awesome. That he wanted to keep fucking? I don't even know what he was going to say and I'm tweaking the fuck out. I tried to breathe, to keep myself together. I kept watching him, eyes locked together.

He looked down at my stomach before lifting his eyes back to mine.

"I've fallen in love with you, Mallory."

The air has been sucked out of me.

I couldn't breathe.

I looked away, anywhere but at him.

I knew that was coming, I knew it. I knew he would say that. My body knew it too that's why I tensed up.

I had to know he was going to say that.

What the fuck else would he have said?

What do I say?

I can't say I love you back, I don't even know if I love him? Do I?

No.

I care about him but I cant love him, not yet. Maybe never. I cant be what he wants me to be. I'm a horrible person. No.

He can't do this to me.

"Please, calm down sweetheart" his fingers began rubbing circles on my hips. His eyes we're trying to tell me to calm down, that he _loved me_ and nothing mattered. He looked nervous and scared and happy all at the same time. His words snapped me out of my trance and I looked away from his eyes.

I looked every single place I could that wasn't him.

The headboard.

The lamp.

The pillow.

The sheets.

My hands.

My hair.

The wall.

_He loves me. _

_What?i_

My breathing was shallow and fast, I could feel my heart beating. I felt like it was going to explode out of my chest, it was all I could hear. I was trying to stay focused on his hands rubbing circles. I needed to hold myself together. I know I did. There was still a voice in the back of my head yelling at me, telling me to get the fuck away from him. _Run. Get out of here. Get him out. Leave. _I don't know if I could move though, I couldn't feel my body. I felt numb.

I felt the wave of guilt rush back in full force. It hit me so much harder than before.

Now I had been lying to a man who loved me.

Who cared about me, more than I had thought.

Not that it mattered, either way I was a fucking whore.

I heard him take a deep breath and I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I just kept looking at the ceiling, wall, window, anything but him.

"I didn't tell you so that you'd freak out, I didn't tell you so you'd leave. I told you because I need you to know how I feel about you. I need you to know that I care so fucking much about you and I don't want to see you get hurt. That's why I wanted you to quit the club and that's why I'm always so concerned. I don't ask you millions of questions and stay here for the sex. Its fucking amazing, don't get me wrong but its not the reason. You. You are the reason I want to be here. You're the reason that I feel alive again. You're the reason that I can wake up every morning. You're the reason I'm not consumed by the darkness. I love _you."_

Breathe.

Breathe Mallory.

He sounds nervous.

He sounds in love.

Breathe.

In.

Out.

I cant do this.

Holy shit.

He loves me?

_Love._

_He loves me._

_Tyler loves me._

I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not freaking out as much as I would have expected but maybe its because I've expected it. I knew he was going to try and say something like that at some point. I'm pretty sure he wanted to when we were at Central Park. He didn't though and I'm glad.

We needed this to be just us, no one else should be able to see this moment. I wanted it to just be him.

Why though?

Did I really want him to see me freak out like I am?

No.

I swallow hard and its so difficult. My throat is dry, my stomach is doing flips. My heart is still trying to beat its way out of my chest. I swear he can hear it. I'm sure half of fucking New York can hear it.

"You don't have to say anything. I didn't tell you so you'd say it back, I promise." He was promising back to me? At least he was giving me an out right? At least he was trying to help? "I just needed you to know."

Did he help though? No.

Now it was awkward. Right? He loved me. I have said nothing back since and we're sitting here in my bed, with barely any clothes on staring at each other and the floor all at the same damn time. He continued to rub circles against my skin. I could now see that the little things he had done were because he loved me.

"How long?" I didn't mean to say it outloud but I did.

"What?"

"How long have you.." I couldn't say the words. I wanted to know though, how long had he felt like this? Had the girl he loved been cheating on him and fucking dealing drugs behind his back or had he just fallen for me like yesterday?

Fucking idiot, he wouldn't have fallen yesterday. What am I even saying? I don't know.

I don't know what's going on anymore.

My heart wont stop. My breathing won't go back to normal.

I can still feel how tense my body is even with his comforting.

"I'm not positive but a while. I've always felt strongly about you. You've always meant something to me. Something more than anyone else I've ever met."

I didn't respond. I know he wanted more out of me. I know he was looking for something to come out of my mouth even if he said he wasn't. I would want to hear something else if I was him. I couldn't get anything to come out though. What was I going to say?

_Cool._

_Thanks._

_That's nice._

_You're an idiot. I'm a horrible person._

Or should I run?

It may seem cowardly that I always go straight to that but I have no other way to handle situations, its how I was brought up. My mom would do fucked up shit and instead of standing up to her or the asshole she brought home I would leave. I couldn't be used for drug money if I wasn't there.

Ironic life I have huh? My fucking mom used to use me to get drugs and now I've been fucking selling them. I'm a fucking idiot.

I really do hate myself.

I didn't know what to do, still.

I always feel like such a fucking idiot.

I feel sick.

The guilt won't leave.

It's getting worse with every fucking word that comes out of his mouth because he's so damn thoughtful. He cares about me and I'm fucking everything up.

I want to run.

I'm scared.

I jump off of him and run into the bathroom, throwing up in the toilet without warning.

I hear him come in behind me and I realize that I want him there. He's the one who basically just caused my complete melt down but I want him here.

I'm so fucked up.

"Its okay baby. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you so straight forward like that." He's rubbing my back and holding my hair. He's doing everything you'd want someone to. I should have seen that he loved me. I should have fucking known.

He shouldn't love me though.

I lean back against the bathroom wall close my eyes. I can't believe this is happening to me right now. My head is now pounding along with all my other fucking ailments.

"Here's some water, I won't lose you this time." He was trying to make light of the situation we had in the park and what we're doing now. I wanted to laugh and give him some indication that I wasn't a fucking cold hearted bitch but apparently I was. I didn't do anything. I just held my hand out and took the water, taking a large sip.

"How are you feeling?" He pushed my hair back from my forehead again and grabbed the cup to fill it up again.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Do I really need to tell you the answer to that?"

"No." I knew why. I was freaking about because of that why. He stood up and pulled me with him. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, trying to clean myself up a little bit. He walked into the bedroom while I did that, probably trying to give me space. I didn't allow myself to think while I was in there, I didn't want to freak out again. I didn't want to throw up again. I wanted to be able to have a normal conversation with him, maybe?

I walked back out into the bedroom to find him laying down on the bed with his arms behind his head.

"You did a lot better with that than I expected." He said as he looked at the ceiling.

"I'm still 'doing' it so you probably shouldn't say that."

"You aren't hitting me, you didn't faint, you didn't run out of the apartment, you didn't yell at me. I'm going to call this a pretty successful conversation for us."

"You can't."

"Yes, I can-" I cut him off.

"No, you can't feel that way about me."

"Why not?"

"I'm not the person you're supposed to feel that way about. You're better than me, Tyler."

"Stop with this shit Mallory. Stop. I won't listen to it anymore. You can't tell me how to feel about you."

"I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to make sure you don't hate yourself in a few years when you realize what a fucking horrible person I am and you've left. I don't want you to waste your life on me." You already have, you just don't realize it yet.

"Stop with that. Come here." I walk over to the bed and he pats the place beside him, wanting me to lay down. I do.

I don't know what else to do? I said I'd make the best of this day, I have to leave at three and its nine right now. I could just leave now and pretend that I'm scared, but I am scared.

I'm scared of what he said.

I'm scared that he'll leave me.

I'm an oxymoron of all sorts right now.

I cant get my thoughts straight.

I don't know what to think.

I don't know what to do.

I'm lost.

When I lay down he leans over and traces his hand down from my shoulder to my hips and back up. I look at him and I know I have fear in my eyes.

"Pretend I never said anything, pretend it didn't even happen. We never had that conversation. If you want, do that. If it will make you get rid of that look on your face like I'm here to hurt you, to use you then please just think of that. I don't want to make you feel like that. Just like I know you'd never want to hurt or use me."

I hated those words, I hated that he had thought those things. I had been using him and I had lied. I have hurt him, if he only knew.

I couldn't use my words to tell him though, so I leaned over and kiss him.

He kissed me back and we both turned to lay on our sides, I pulled myself against him as he grabbed my ass with his hands. We were both grabbing at each other, pulling, feeling the need to be closer.

He pushed me onto my back and pulls my shirt over my head. I can feel his hardness though his boxers. I know he wants me, I want him just as much. He presses himself against me as he lowers himself down to kiss me one again. Our chests are bare, the feeling of skin on skin is intense. I wrap my legs around him and pull my pussy closer to him, I need friction. He pulls back and takes his boxers off before turning back to me with lust filling his eyes. I watch him pull my panties off and lay so he's aligned with my entrance. I can feel the heat coming off of him and the wetness coating the head of his dick. I move my hips up and down slightly, rubbing him along me. He moans keep eye contact.

I want him inside me, I want to feel him, I want him to take over my thoughts and emotions. Sex is the way that I can do that with Tyler and not freak out, not want to run away. When we're connected like this I know I can handle it, I know that it's the way that I deal with myself.

He must not be able to take it any longer either because as I rub him past my entrance again he pushes inside slowly. I moan at the feeling of him stretching me, filling me. He pushes all the way in before pulling back out, again and again.

I put my hands behind his neck and try to pull him down to me, I want to kiss him. He thrusts a couple more times before giving in. Our lips mash together and his tongue pokes out to play with mine.

He's going slow and steady, its sensual. Our lips and tongue are moving together at the same pace, the faster we kiss the harder he thrusts. It's like a game. I slide my tongue against his and twist around and he does the same with his hips, twisting his dick around inside of me. Its incredible.

I feel his hips hit my inner thighs as he goes deeper inside me, hitting every single spot.

I feel my climax coming quickly as he rotates his hips more, causing the friction against my clit along with everything inside me. It feels insanely good, like I can feel him all around me. His mouth on mine, his chest against me, his hands beside my head, my hands all over him. I can't hold off and I let go, moaning and gripping his shoulders as I ride it out. He waits until I'm coming down from the high before letting himself go inside me, burying his head into my shoulder as he whispers he loves me. I don't think he wanted me to hear it, but I did.

I don't know what to do.

Sex is usually our way to figure things out.

It's usually what we do to help each other though situations.

I'm not saying I wanted to fuck to see if it would help me, but I thought that it would.

Now I'm just more confused than before on what to do.

I don't want to hurt him, ever.

That was amazing, and it loved it but I don't love him.

I care about him, a lot.

There's a difference.

Love is stronger, a feeling you can't mistake with anything else. Its something that you feel throughout your entire body, its something that you'd know no matter what.

We lay there, our breathing heavy and matching. My mind begins to race though the events of the past hour.

He loves me.

I'm scared.

I'm panicking.

I want to leave.

I don't care that we just fucked, or whatever that was.

The old me is coming back full force and I don't want it to.

I like being with him.

But I don't know what to do with love.

Love has never treated me well.

Love doesn't turn out the way you want it to.

Love scars you.

Love is pain.

**Hoping that I did justice to what you all wanted to happen with this. It's exactly how I wanted it to happen. Mallory freaked out but maybe not as much as she would have originally, her thinking is changing as she spends more time with Tyler and as Max threatens him. She obviously doesn't know what to do with Tyler's thoughts though. What do you think of all of this? Do you think Tyler handled it well? Do you think he should've done it differently? Do you think Mallory should have handled it differently?**

**THOUGHTS PLEASE :D **

**Thanks for loving me even though I seem to have so many thoughts that my A/N is about as long as a one shot fic. **


	27. Chapter 27 Mallory Tyler

**A/N: Please don't hate me everyone. I'm sorry I haven't updated this fic in a while but it was for good reason. I started my EB fic Don't You Remember (check it out please) and I couldn't get back in Tyllory mode. I didn't want to write a chapter that wouldn't be doing this justice so I wanted until I could get back. I'm here now! I hope you enjoy this chapter, if you are forgetting what is happening just go back and read..its my fault it took so long to update. **

**To all those who have been super supportive of this fic and my new one as well, I love you.**

**Mallory**

He cant love me.

He can't.

Im horrible.

I'm bad.

I'm wrong for him.

I'm lying to him, still.

My mind can't even grasp this.

I still cant comprehend that its even possible. I'm not someone you love, I never have been. I'm someone you fuck.

No.

I cant even say that anymore without thinking how insane I sound.

I just feel so fucking guilty all the fucking time and today has been the worst.

He's being so fucking nice and I'm being a huge bitch. Not to his face, just inside my head. I 've lied, cheated, and lied some more.

Why is this happening?

I guess I'm just in denial.

I know that he loves me, I've known for a while now I think. I don't think I'm used to that feeling though, that emotion is so foreign. I still want to run. I want to high tail it out of here and stay away from him and his pretty face, sexy body and amazing mind. He shouldn't want to be with me, he shouldn't want to take care of me. None of that.

He does know how to handle me though, he knew I'd want to run.

That bugs the fucking shit out of me. He knew that I would freak out when he told me that, why did he have to tell me then? Especially now. I mean out of all the times that you could tell someone something that big you pick the one day that they are having the biggest emotional breakdown inside. He doesn't know that though, which is good.

He thinks that I'm stressed about finding a new job, working, getting to know new people. All that stuff. I am but thats not it. Im lying to him still, I hate myself. I cant even believe that I'm doing all this to him, to someone that loves me.

I don't love him.

I cant love him.

I don't love anyone.

I care about him, a lot.

Obvously.

I wouldn't be going through all this fucking shit if it wasn't for how much I care about him. If he was just some random client that Max wanted to use against me I would have just let Max have his way and do whatever he wanted.

Tyler isn't just some client of mine though. He never has been. That's what makes this so fucking complicated.

I want to just walk up to him and tell him the truth, tell him I'm a whore and get it over with.

I cant though.

I want him. I need him. I cant lose him.

I can't lose the one thing that means more to me than anything has in my entire life.

That's what he's become isn't it? He's my one prized possession in a way. The one thing I care about more than even myself. That's the one thing I never wanted to have in my life. I never wanted to be the girl who was able to be hurt.

I knew that if you had attachments in my business that would be the death of you, sometimes literally. I knew that. I still got involved with Tyler though. I'm such an idiot. How could I do that to him? How could I bring him into this?

He was on the line in this situation and I had let it happen, apparently I always wanted to fuck up my life somehow. I had given everyone one thing that they could use against me.

All these years I'd been safe. I never had anything worth fighting for, not even myself.

Now I have Tyler and my entire world could come crashing down if tonight doesn't go as planned.

No, think positive. Tonight will be fine.

"Tyler?" I yell as I walk towards the doorway to get my coat. He had been in the shower while I got ready, luckily. He didn't see the outfit I put on.

"Yeah I'm in here." I hear his voice coming from my bedroom. I walk down the hall and spot him pulling on his jeans. The second our eyes meet I feel a pain in my chest, _just tell him the truth._

"Are you leaving?" He asked, noticing my coat and bag. I noticed the flowers behind him, dead. I didn't want to move the, I wanted everything to stay the same. I also just loved the, I should just find a way to keep them forever. It was from him and I didn't want to lose them, like I've been so scared to lose him.

"Yes. I have a-a- job interview downtown." _Lies. Blatant Lies. _

"Really?" His face lit up at my words. _I feel like I'm being stabbed in the heart._

"Yes, I'm sorry it kind of ruins our day, I had completely forgotten about it before. I'll be back soon, though." I hate lying to him. It makes the pain inside worse, but I can't let him suspect anything.

"Where is it?" He is so fucking excited right now, I cant handle it. _More lies._

"Um, some store, I cant remember the name." I'm acting weird and I know it but I'm not good at thinking on the spot right now. No that's not it, I'm not good at lying to him. I want to tell him the truth, but I don't. I put my bag down and I walk towards him. I need him to know I care about him but how in the hell am I supposed to say that without sounding completely lame and stupid. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him hard on the lips. _Please understand, I care about you. I hate lying to you._ In my head, that's me saying sorry. I know it's a pathetic excuse of a sorry but it's all I have right now. I'm trying to push my thoughts to him, make him understand that I do care, even if I can't ever say it to him when he's conscious. He kisses me back, of course he does he loves me.

When I pull away my heart hurts once again. I need it to stop, I need to turn myself off, go into numb mode. I can't handle being _me_ throughout this.

I leave without looking back, without thinking about what exactly I'm doing.

This will be it.

I'm done after this.

No more.

Max can go fuck himself for all I care.

He will not touch Tyler, he will leave me alone, it will all be over.

O_0_O

The walk to the back of the club is my last, I will not do this again.

I keep telling myself that, I need to make sure that I have the strength to say no if he asks me again.

Because no, I will not be doing this again. I walk into the office after waiting for the body guard to open the door. Fuck them, its not like he'd be doing anything I hadn't seen before.

"I'm here Max, what's the deal tonight?" He's sitting at his desk doing lines of coke off some girl I haven't seen before. I'm not surprised in the least.

"Well Hello Mallory, how are you doing this evening?" He isn't even mad that I'm here, watching him do lines off this girl. I wonder if he set this up? He had done it to be when I first started working here, I'd thought it would be good to get in with the boss. I guess it was at the time but he was pissed that I wouldn't get high with him. I didn't need that shit, I had other ways I could get through my nights and days. After that he always found other girls he could use.

"I'm great." _Fucking fantastic, lets get this over with. ___He waved the girl out of the room. She gave me a dirty look at she shut the door, like I had interrupted something relevant.

"Oh come on, I'd like to see some excitement in you!" His voice bothered me so much. I never minded it when I worked here but now all I could hear in my head were his words threatening Tyler.

"You're blackmailing me into doing this, you want me to be excited about that?"

"I will miss that feisty side of you. Are you sure you want to quit?" He got up and walked towards me, I could see the fire in his eyes. I did not want to fuck him, no. I couldn't do that tonight. Especially since Tyler had just told me he loved me for goodness sake.

"Max, I already quit. I'm done."

"I've still got you, Mallory. I can't let you go just yet." He ran his hand down my face, I wanted to smack it away but I knew better. Hitting him would mean him hitting me.

I don't want that.

"Are you dressed correctly?" He made me open my coat and show him my outfit. I had on a shirt and jeans, I didn't know if Tyler would see me and I didn't want to risk anything. I had my change of clothes in my bag.

Fuck.

I left my bag in the apartment. Really fucking convenient to do tonight.

"Go change in the back." He demanded and I walked out back and changed into some heels, a tube top and short shorts. Its fucking winter and I'm dressed for the beach.

"This is what you wanted, right?" I said sarcastically. I wanted him to pick up on my tone.

"Perfect." I said nothing and put my coat on over it. I didn't want him to know how much I fucking hated wearing this. Fuck him. He wouldn't budge on something like this, I knew that. It was just a small detail that I would have to go with. He handed me a small box, about the size of a book. I wondered what was inside it. I always was too curious for my own good.

"Here's the address, they want you to be there for three forty five. Don't be late." He told me as he handed me a piece of paper, motioning for me to leave. _Gladly, asshole._

This address he gave me seemed familiar, why did it seem familiar? I stared at the paper for a moment. I think I've had a client who lived here before, yeah that's it. Hopefully I wouldn't be seeing them. I left the club and walked quickly, it was cold and as much as I didn't want to do this deal, I wanted to get inside and be warm. I wanted to give whatever what in this box to them and be done with it all.

**Tyler**

That kiss felt weird. It didn't feel like her usual self, maybe its because she is still freaking out about what I said to her this morning. I really should have planned that out better I suppose, but I didn't. I just couldn't wait any longer. I needed her to know. I needed her to realize how much I need her and love her and can't be without her.

I probably shouldn't have done that though.

She did take it better than I had originally expected, I suppose that's nice? No. I still shouldn't have. She seemed so shaken up. Maybe I could surprise her or something later today. Make something special for dinner or take her out instead? I could go get a little something and tell her I'm having her for dessert, I loved doing that. I just wanted her, in any way I could have her.

I needed to do something special. I also needed her to know, no matter what, that I didn't think she needed to say something back. I could see the look in her eyes as she left, she's scared. She probably thinks that now that I've said something that she's doing to need to say something back and that's not the case. She doesn't need to say anything back, nothing at all. I would be happy to stay like we are right now, forever, as long as she'd stay with me.

I hated watching her walk out the door.

I wanted to go with her but I think it would be weird if your boyfriend showed up on your interview for a job. Yes, definitely weird.

_HI, I'm her boyfriend. Don't worry I wont be coming to work with her..often._

I walk back into the bedroom to grab my wallet, I'll get something for her. She still has the roses in the vase, even though they've long since died.

Its bad how much I love that she refuses to throw them away.

That's what I like to think at least.

I don't want to think that she just really could give a shit about them and is too lazy to throw them in the garbage.

No, that's not it.

Walking out I kick something with my foot, her bag.

Lace falls out of it, what the fuck?

**Mallory**

I walked up to the apartment and I wanted to run.

I wanted to run away as fast as I fucking could.

Run for dear life.

No.

I can't.

I can't afford to do that anymore.

My life isn't important in this case, Tylers is.

I needed to suck it the fuck up and just get in and get out.

My heart is pounding, so fucking loud. I can hear it in my ears as if it's the bass in a song.

My stomach has turned inside out, I feel sick.

I can't even fucking believe Max would do this to me.

This has to be a trick. There has to be something more to this.

I must have done something wrong, done a deal wrong, danced incorrectly for someone prior. Something. He wouldn't do this to me. He had to know what happened the last time I was here.

The last time I was with Nicholas.

Fucking asshole.

Douche Bag.

I have to do another deal with him.

Are you fucking kidding me.

The last time I saw him I told him that he had a pencil dick and to go find his usuals to get his dick wet.

I basically led him on without even realizing it.

What the fucking fuck.

I was back in my slutty fucking whore outfits too. I should have said no to it this time. Max wouldn't have allowed it though. I knew that.

Fuck. What am I supposed to do? Pretend like nothing happened? Pretend like he didn't send me back to the one deal that had ended so fucking badly. Yes, I had gotten the money for him but I also had almost been basically raped. That would have been seriously bad. I couldn't have not told Tyler about something like that. That would have just..I cant even think.

Im standing outside this fucking apartment building trying to build up the courage now. I need to just do this. I need to get it over with. I need to be done with all this bull shit.

Give him the box, take the money and run.

At this point I would rather give him the box and get the money whoring myself out to someone else. I don't want Nicholas to touch me. No. Never.

That's horrible.

Im already thinking about how I'd rather whore myself out to someone than fuck someone else, when I have a boyfriend who loves me back at home.

The problem is that in my head its completely justified because I am doing it for him. I am doing it to keep him safe. In order to keep him safe I need to just do what I am told and get it over with as quickly as possible.

I hate that its almost four and its already getting dark, stupid sun. I wanted it to be light out, I felt safer in the light.

_Get some balls Mallory, you can do this._

I've never felt so sick in my entire life.

My entire body is begging me to leave, run away, self preservation at its best I guess.

"You can do this." I whisper to myself. I'll just tell him that I'm sorry for last time, that it was a mistake and that I didn't mean to lead him on. I wont have a drink. I wont take my coat off. I'll be fine.

I go and hit the buzzer, the familiarity freaks me out. I hate this. I fucking hate this. I notice how hard my hand is shaking as I hit the button.

Immediate buzz into the building.

He really must know whos out here or he just doenst give a fuck.

I take a deep breath and try to steady myself as I open the door and start slowly walking up the stairs.

This is it. I cant do this. Yes, I can. I'm going to be fine.

When I get to the last flight of stairs I freeze. My eyes are even beginning to feel the effects of my body wanting to run, they're watering, heavy and not wanting to help me right now. I just need to focus, stay on track. I can do this. I squeeze the box in my hand and look at it, stupid fucking box. I can do this.

Think of Tyler. You're saving Tyler.

You can do this.

I walk up the door, raising my shaky hand to knock.

"Tyler, give me strength." I whisper so quietly, its just for myself. He can't give me strength when he doesn't know where I am or what I'm doing right now.

The door opens quickly, as he if was waiting for me at the door.

"Come in, beautiful." He remembers me, fuck. I look at him directly in the eyes, I don't want him to think I'm intimidated or scared. I'm not. I'm confident that I can do this and get out of here fast. "I'm so glad Max decided to take up my offer of sending you back for one last deal. I just couldn't resist your company."

"Oh." What was I supposed to say? "I have your box here, let's do this?" I wanted to get it over with, now.

"Wait a minute, I have company and they'd love to meet you. I've talked about you so much since you left that they just couldn't resist a peek themselves. Would you like a drink?" He was acting as if our conversation before I left last time had never happened. Like we had flirted all night and then we decided to go our separate ways. That's not how it happened though, at all. I fucking stormed out of here after he tried to get with me. Fuck him.

No, act cool Mallory. I can do this. Stay calm and everything will turn out okay, don't let your temper get in the way.

He walked forward into what I knew was going to be the kitchen, who was I going to meet. This was weird. As I turned the corner I was met with eyes I never expected to see.

What was he doing here?

"Why hello my dirty mouthed angel" I glared at him, how dare he. How fucking dare he do this to me. Nicholas. Max. What the fuck

"What the fuck are you doing here, Neil?"

" I didn't know you knew my brother, Nicholas?"

**Tyler**

My first thought isn't that shes cheating on me, that she wanted to surprise me or any of that shit. It's that shes still working even though she told me she quit. I hate that its my first thought, I hate it. I feel like it means I don't trust her. I can't see her lying to me, she wouldn't do that. She's always been so honest. Except now I cant help but see this for exactly what it is.

Her bag has clothes she wore to the club.

These aren't clothes you'd wear anywhere else.

Why would she have clothes she wore there?

She hasn't been back there for a while.

Why would they be in the bag that she was using to leave?

To go somewhere?

To go to her interview?

What kind of interview was it?

Was she interviewing at another fucking club? I hoped not.

No.

She quit.

She wouldn't lie to me.

Right?

Or is that why she was acting so weird when she left?

My temper was rising as I thought of all the options. It was too coincidental of this all to happen, her tight kiss, her clothes spilling out of her bag.

My heart was racing in my chest, what was she doing?

Fuck this, I'm going to find out.

I don't think she'd lie to be but I can't seem to get my head away from the fact that something is wrong. This isn't right.

Even if shes not at the club anymore, where was she?

She wouldn't go back there, would she? No.

I can't let myself believe that she would.

I just need to see her.

Make sure.

I'll find her.

I'll go to the club first, not because I think she'll be there but because then I'll ask her friends at the club where she might be. They might know, right?

Because she wont be there. She wont be at the club, she wont be dancing or fucking anyone.

Shes mine.

Grabbing my wallet I headed out into the cold, right towards Onyx.

**A/N: I absolutely need to know what you think of this chapter.**

**Please, I beg you, let me know what you're thinking. Leave me you're comments, concerns, thoughts for the future, anything. Send it my way. **

**Tylers heading to the club.**

**Mallory is at Nicholas' apartment ..with Neil…**

**I know you all have to have something to say about this.**

**Can't wait to hear it.**


	28. Chapter 28 Tyler Mallory

**A/N: I see you're all slightly freaking out as to what will happen with Mallory at Nicholas' apartment with Neil and Tyler headed to the club, will he meet Max? Oh boy. **

**Please, do me a favor and check out two of my favorite FF's ****Promise**** & ****Stripped****. They're written by CharlieBelle and you can find them in my favorites, I love them. Charlie happens to be one of the most hardcore fans of IAOY and I adore her for that. As she says my fics are her "personal brand of heroin".**

***CHAPTERS WILL BE SHORTER FROM NOW ON. There's a purpose to it, I'm not doing it for torture, trust me. **

**I am warning you, this isn't pretty. If you don't want to see drama/angst happening..I'm warning you now. **

**TYLER**

I got here and immediately went around to all the girls. They all probably thought that I was absolutely insane. Oddly enough they all told me what they knew, she had been in a few times since she quit and always went right to the back. She wasn't up front dancing or out back fucking. Apparently she had been meeting with Max, the boss. They told me she always left after a little while but they didn't know details.

One fucking girl told me that she thought he was fucking her. How dare she even say that to me? Mallory would _never_ do that to me. I bet you she was just jealous of Mallory of some shit, girls were petty like that. I ignored her comments and just went towards the back. Some body guard met me there and told me I wasn't allowed to talk to the boss. Fuck that.

I made a scene. Okay, not really. I may have said that the girl who told me Mallory was fucking him had done some shit to me that pissed me off. No company likes unhappy customers. I hated to do that to her but at the same time I couldn't believe she'd lie. The body guard walked me right to Max. I needed to talk to this Max fellow. I needed to know what he knew about Mallory and why she kept randomly disappearing to go to job interviews that I wasn't sure existed anymore. I hoped she wasn't lying to me but something told me she might be visiting here and I was worried. I didn't want her to fall back into her old patterns. I'm sure that girl wouldn't get in trouble, I'd tell him before I left that I had made it up, that she didn't do shit. I just needed to get answers and I was about to do whatever it fucking took to get them.

He will know where she is.

"You're Max?" He wasn't bad looking, I wouldn't doubt that he had his share of women around here. He looked kind of dangerous though, I wasn't scared. I just hoped he'd never touched Mallory while she worked here, please tell me he didn't.

"You're Tyler, correct?" He knew my name, huh. That was very weird. How would he know my name? Maybe it was from the night I attacked one of Mallory's clients. That didn't go over well here, I knew that.

"Yes."

"Sit down, have a drink." He motioned for me to sit down at the chairs in front of me. I did. He handed me some golden colored liquid in a short glass, whiskey. Well, at least he had good taste in alcohol. "What can I do for your Mr. Hawkins?"

He knew my last name? That was odd. How the fuck would he know that? I'm slightly freaked out now. Whatever, I needed to focus.

"I'm looking for some information regarding Mallory's employment here." I figured I might as well sound as business like as I possibly could. I thought that it might earn me some respect, not just going right for the ass hole move of yelling at him and demanding to know why my girlfriend has been here.

"Why?"

"Because I have heard she's been coming to see you and I want to know why."

"Who have you heard that from?" He was asking as many questions as I was. I don't know if I am allowed to care though, since he knows things I need to know.

"Some of her friends."

"I see. Now are you the same man who came into this club and assaulted a customer?" He remembered me. How the fuck did he remember me? There must be cameras in here, he must have looked at them. Probably. I can't lie.

"Yes."

"I see. What is your relationship to Mallory?" He asked, sitting at the chair opposite of me. There was something in his eyes that told me he already knew, but I spoke anyways.

"I'm her boyfriend."

"Oh?" He questioned, taking a large sip of his whiskey. "I was under the impression that you two had broken up?"

He was under the impression? What the fuck?

"And who might you have heard that from?"

"Mallory." _What?_ That meant not only had she been here, she had been talking to him. Not only talking to him though, she had been talking about _us._ This couldn't be true, he was lying. She probably had said that when she was still here, working. She probably just said it so that she could quit without looking like she was doing it for me, it had to be something silly like that. Or maybe so that customers wouldn't freak out she told them she was single, that would be something he could over hear.

"I'm sure you heard her incorrectly, when was the last time you spoke to her?"

"Let me think.." _A while ago, right? _ "Not even an hour ago."

I think the air had been sucked out of me, I couldn't breathe. She had been here. She had been here not even an hour ago. That can't be true, I wont let myself believe it.

"What was she doing here?"

"You have a lot of questions don't you? Though, I suppose I have had a lot for you as well."

"I am just trying to put some pieces together, I'm sure you can understand." I wanted him to like me, to talk to me. I needed to know what was going on, what the fuck was happening with the girl I loved.

Was she even the same person that I thought she was?

**MALLORY**

I'm fucking screwed.

Max sent me to Nicholas house knowing that Neil would be here too. I just know it. There is no way in fucking hell he didn't know it.

Fucking pig. I cant even believe he would do that to me. Is that why I was off the hook for fucking him tonight, because he figured he'd be fucking me over my sending me here?

Or maybe I would still have to fuck? I shivered at the thought. No, they wouldn't.

"So we still don't get your name, mystery girl?"

"No, I'm good. I'm just here for the deal." Who's voice was that? It couldn't be mine. I sounded calm and collected, the complete and total opposite of how I actually felt inside.

"Just here for the deal? Well I'm afraid we may have some conditions you'll need to fulfill before you can leave us with that money." Nicholas came from behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist. I moved to push him off and he held tighter. I stayed where I was.

They wouldn't hurt me,that would be wrong. They wanted something. What did they want?

I had a feeling I wasn't here because I was smart, I was here for my body. I was here for revenge.

"Nick, no need to get into those details yet. How is you're lovely boyfriend Tyler doing?" Neil spoke, his voice was smooth and careful. _Tyler._ Of course. Of course he would want to hurt Tyler by using me. I looked at him and noticed that it looked like he had been in a fight I wondered when that would have happened and wished I could meet who hit him. I know for a fact whatever happened Neil deserved it. He deserved every single bad thing that came his way because of what he did to Tyler.

"What happened to your face Neil, did you walk into something?" I was still fighting to get out of Nicholas' reach but I couldn't help but jab at Neil, especially when he decided to bring up Tyler. You don't fucking do that.

"Such a sarcastic mouth on you. I cant wait till you suck me off with it." My heart is pounding. _No, no, no, no. This can't be happening._ This is the point in time where I would be saying, fuck no. Telling him that his dick can't go anywhere near me or my mouth. Telling him I'm sure he has a pinky dick or that I could get off faster fucking a cue tip. The problem is that I'm not in the position to be that girl. I'm alone. I'm with two large, strong men. I'm being kept in the kitchen with the two of them and I can't fight them both off. This is definitely not the time for my mouth.

I need to think of a plan to get out of here and do it fast. I can't stay long.

I don't know what they have planned but I also don't want to find out.

"I don't think Max would like that very much, I'm just here to make a deal." It comes out before I think about it but it works.

"So you do want to suck my dick, you just don't think Max would like it? I truly don't think he'd mind. You are a whore, aren't you?" He started walking towards me, eyes starting directly into mine. I couldn't look away, I didn't want to seem weak.

"Here's the stuff, could I have the money?" I put the box down on the counter, as a peace offering . He stopped in his tracks, not anticipating my words. I was playing it safe, trying to get them to forget about me and think about what was in the box. I was scared. I would never be able to hold my tongue in situations, except when it came to protecting myself. Right now, I was protecting myself. I didn't want this shit to go bad, I didn't even want to know what they were thinking.

"Why don't you take off your coat, baby? Get Comfortable." I jumped as Nicholas spoke, his hands reached up by my neck to take off my coat. I hugged my arms around me, trying to keep it on. I was wearing my fucking slutty things again. He would take it the wrong way again. Maybe it was planned like that though. Maybe Max knew all this was going to happen.

It was possible, I wouldn't doubt it.

This all seemed like a fucking set up.

"No, I'm good. Really, I just want to get the money and get back, I'm doing another job tonight." I lied. Please, believe me.

"No you aren't." Nicholas said and tucked his fingers underneath my coat, pulling it. I didn't fight it because I knew by the tone of his voice it wouldn't help me if I did. It would only make all of this worse.

**TYLER**

"She's doing what?" I screamed at him. I yelled as loud as I fucking could. He couldn't be telling me the truth, it had to be lies.

"Look, Tyler, I'm trying to help you. She came to me and told me that she wanted to make more money. She said that she didn't want anyone to know, I assume that is because of you. I told her that we didn't have anything else she could do, she was already doing it all." He paused, shaking his head with sympathy. He felt bad for me, he fucking pitied me right now.

"She said that she knew we dealt drugs here as well, which we do but I would never push one of them into doing that. I know that they are dancing and money fucking for a reason. I know they're damaged girls, I just try to be here when I can."

"She wouldn't do that." Im still yelling, its uncontrollable.

"Tyler, I'm just telling you what happened. I told her that we did but that I usually have someone else go on the deals. She insisted that I let her go on them instead of work in the club. I didn't want to deny her, you can understand that, right? Not being able to deny her?"

This couldn't be true, no. She couldn't do that to me.

It all made sense though didn't it? I didn't know her that well, I never knew where she'd been going. She told me she quit, but she could have just meant dancing. She could have just not told me that she took another job. She had come back here before, saying she needed to take care of something. Saying that a two week notice was done everywhere else, why not at her job.

I believed her.

I believed her lies.

Lies.

I'm such a fucking idiot.

"So she's been going on deals for you?"

"Yes, I'm sorry." _Sorry? What the fuck?_

"How many?" I demanded.

"Only three so far, she's on her third right now." Three. She's been on three. My heart is beating fast, my adrenaline is pumping.

"Where?" I need to know.

"Where?" Yes, answer me.

"Where."

"I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you that, its classified business you know." He finishes his whiskey, putting the glass on the table. So fucking nonchalant, asshole tell me.

"Is that all she's been doing?"

"Tyler, I need to be honest with you." He paused, I braced myself for anything. "That's not all she's been doing for me."

"What else?"

"She may have also suggested we go back to how we used to be when she worked here full time and all."

"What does that mean?"

"It means we're still fucking." He's as blunt as he possibly can be. I don't know whether to thank him or not. Its not the same tone he was using before, this one is smug and cocky. He loves that he's fucking her. He loves that he got to tell me face to face.

I swear to God I couldn't control myself.

I punched him in the fucking face.

**MALLORY**

I'm such a fucking idiot.

One more and I'm done.

Such lies I told myself.

Who the fuck did I think I was?

I'm not some drug dealer.

I'm not bad ass.

I'm not tough.

I'm not able to fend of men who are more than twice my size and weight.

I'm a fucking eighteen year old girl who just used her whoring skills to not get killed or whatever they are thinking.

I can feel the tears streaming down my face, my stomach is in knots. I swear I'm going to be sick but I can't see a damn thing. It's fucking dark in here. I don't even know where in the apartment I am. I know my clothes were throw in here with me but I can't find them. I'm in a fucking closet.

_We'll be back when you remember how to fuck._

Those were the last words I heard before being shoved in here.

I hate myself more than I ever have.

Ever.

Not only have I cheated on Tyler with Max but now Neil and Nicholas.

I swear I didn't want to touch them. I just didn't fight it like I should have. I played the role that I felt would keep me alive and not hurt. I didn't want to get hurt. I really thought they just wanted to fuck me, so they could say that they had. So that they could hurt Tyler. Part of me figured that if I went along with it they'd let me go, they'd let me leave and I could go back home. If I could do that I'd go tell Tyler every single fucking thing.

I would, there is no hesitation now.

I would tell him every bad thing I've done, including tonight.

I hoped he wouldn't blame me for tonight, though I did walk myself into it.

I chose to come here, to do the deal. I should have ran away the second I knew where I was going.

It would make him hate Neil more than ever but it could never be called rape. I let them do what they wanted because I'm exactly what Neil said I am, a whore.

I'm a prostitute and I have been for years.

I can't get it out of my system if my life fucking depended on it.

I fucked both of them. I did it to save my life, I did it to get them away from me. I did it because it was the only option I could think of at the time.

As much as I want to regret it, there was no other way to handle this situation.

I'm stuck, again.

And now I'm bawling my eyes out in the darkest closet I could ever imagine, trying to find my top. I already have my bottoms on and my shoes in my hands. I try the door and its locked. It gives me the worst feeling ever.

_God, please help me. Save me. I need to get out of here._

_Tyler, find me. I need you to find me._

I keep repeating that in my head, hoping it will come true. I need to get out of here. I need to run away as fast as I fucking can.

I'm holding my knees to my chest, rocking back and forth. All I can hear is my harsh breathing. All I can feel is pain in my chest and tears rolling down my face.

I need to get out of here.

**A/N: I didn't want to write Mallory's last POV by telling you every detail. I don't think anyone really wants to know all of them anyways. For clarification for anyone who may be confused, she let them use her/have sex with her. It wasn't forced. She let them. Personally I see like forceful sex but she had no other option. I mean what would you do in her situation? She knows what she did is wrong. She thought it would help her get out of there faster, it didn't. The last thing they said to her was because they knew she was doing it on purpose. They could tell she wasn't into it like she would have been had she still been working at the club. They're trying to keep her there longer. Are they waiting for Tyler? Max? Will you ever find out or will she escape?**

**If any of that doesn't make sense then feel free to contact me on here, tumblr or twitter and we can chat. I'm hoping to update again soon so you all aren't cliffied for too long.**

**I'd really love to know what you're thinking. I was scared while writing this chapter, it's all going the way I wanted it to go but I hope you all don't hate me. **

***I will not end this fic on a bad note, remember that.**


	29. Chapter 29 Mallory Tyler

**A/N Very interesting feedback from you all for the past chapter. We're not out of it all yet..we're just getting started. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**I have this pipe dream that this fic will get to 500 reviews by the time I end it. Last posting date on this fic will be January 14th. (can't talk about it yet, makes me super sad.) So please leave one when you're done reading, or while you're reading or before you read if you'd like to make me the happiest person ever. **

**MALLORY**

Deep breaths.

In.

Out.

Still shaking.

I can't stop.

I need to get out of here.

How can I get out of here.

They aren't going to just let me go.

I can tell.

They want me here.

They want to use me, fuck me, abuse me. I know it.

I ignored their words before they threw me in here, trying to not listen to the thigns they'd say. I didn't want to get riled up over tnohing. I didn't want to make this a bigger deal than it already fucking was. I needed a clear head. I needed to think about what the hell situation Im in right now. This I bad.

They aren't clients.

They have basically kidnapped me in their own way. A reversed fucked up way. A way that would make any cop not believe me, because I walked my own ass here. Fuck.

I can't believe I'm such a fucking idiot. I also let them do what they wanted. How could I be so naive to think that they'd let me go. Of course they wouldn't let me go. Nick just wants to get his dick wet, like I had told him last time I was here and Neil is on a power trip up the fucking ass with me because of Tyler.

Tyler.

If he finds out what Neil has done he's going to try to kill him. I just know it. I don't want him to get in trouble though, I couldn't lose him. I wouldn't be able to function without him. I can't. I can barely breathe right now because of it. He's not here, and I wish he was. He could help me out of this mess I'm in. I should have just told him from the beginning that I needed help,that I was lost and young and confused. That's what I am, isn't it.

My mom fucked me up beyond belief and being at the club hasn't helped me either.

The only two people in my life that have ever actually cared have been Tyler and my dad.

Dad, send me Tyler, please. I need him to come and save me, please come and save me. I need you so bad.

I've always needed him, since the day I met him.

That realization is hitting me like a ton of bricks right now. My heart burns at the thought.

I need him.

He's always been the one that has kept me grounded and stable.

I take another deep breath.

I need to think of a way out of this.

The second I get out of here I need to go talk to Tyler. I have to tell him all of the things that I've been hiding. He has to forgive me. He loves me. He loves me.

I keep replaying his words in my head, he loves me.

I can't focus on anything right now. I wish I could see what's around me, I can feel around and tell there's shoes, clothing and jackets. Maybe I'm just in a side closet.

They're going to come back soon. I'm going to need to think of something. I don't want this to go any further. I don't want Tyler to wonder where I am and try to find me. I need to get out of this fucking mess I'm in.

What if I just asked them if I could leave? Tell them I'll give them money or drugs or whatever, just let me leave. I could always go to the cops afterwards? No. I couldn't that wont work. Plus Neil is too crazy. I can't deal with him. He would never let me go no matter what. Could I get to Nick though?

Nick.

Hmm.

Maybe.

Even though hes involved in this he doesn't have the malicious motivations that Neil does, at least I don't think so. I could work with that, right? I could try to get Nick to let me go? Maybe trick him into it? Use my skills like they wanted me to earlier? Toy with his emotions, make him think with his dick instead of his brain?

I just need to get him alone.

**TYLER**

"Is that all you got?"

"No." I punched him again, harder this time. "You fucking asshole, you fucked her?" I felt his jaw snap under my hand, I had definitely done some damage. I hit him again. He was letting me. I didn't get why. I saw his hand move barely but I didn't care, there was no way he could hit me. He was leaning on his desk for support.

I didn't even realize he had moved and I felt something punch my face. It wasn't him, it was his body guard, who was now holding me back by my arms. I'm screwed now. No more hitting for me. I was probably going to get the shit kicked out of me now.

"Enough of that." He rubbed his jaw as he spoke, I fucking hurt him. Good. He was fucking Mallory. I wanted him dead. She had been fucking cheating on me this whole damn time and with this asshole out of all people. Her fucking pimp or some shit. What is that?

I still can't believe she'd do that to me.

Why?

Maybe he was lying? Maybe she wasn't fucking him?

If she was, why couldn't she have just told me? We could have broken this up a long fucking time ago if she just told me she was going to cheat. Although, when you're going to cheat you usually don't fucking announce it do you?

Fuck this, my brain is like mush right now. There's too much information being pushed in and its doesnt go with what I had originally thought.

Apparently, I was lied to. I was cheated on. This fucking man in front of me had his fucking dick in her. What the fuck. I'm seeing all red. I can't stop.

I try to pull away from the man holding me, it doesn't work. He's too strong.

Max walks towards me, still rubbing at his jaw. His expression was smug again, I wanted to smack it off him.

**MALLORY**

"I'll go get her." I could barely hear his voice from inside the closet but I knew that it was Nick.

Yes. My nerves were still rising, I was still shaking, there was no stopping that.

Please let me be able to go back to how I used to be with men at the club, I need that side of me again.

If he didn't fall for my plan I was being taken back to that fucking room again. I didn't want to go back there, I didn't want to be anywhere near either of them but if I had to pick one it would be Nick.

Neil wanted revenge, I wanted out.

I hear Nick's footsteps get closer.

This could work.

Maybe, please.

Please, let it work.

I heard the door knob jiggle, I couldn't see anything. He was standing right outside the doors though, I could feel him there. The nerves in my stomach started piling up. I could feel my heart in my throat. If this doesn't work I could get in some serious trouble.

There is a good chance I could be killed, I would have no doubt in my mind that Max would give them the okay on that.

"Get up." The light outside the door was dim, my eyes adjusted and I saw him standing above me. His face was hard.

"Nick?" I asked, quietly and as innocently as I could.

"What?" His voice was harsh yet again.

"Can I tell you something?" Please say yes.

"What?" Still not sounding interested, I don't care.

"I want you." I lowered my voice, trying to make myself sound sexier now.

"Excuse me?"

"I want you, just you. I don't want Neil."

"You want me?" I shook my head, yes. "Not Neil?"

"Not him. I just want you. Can we get away from him?" His face wavered, I could tell he wasn't sure about doing that. I needed to hit a trigger point. "He's making you share me, right?"

"Yes. You didn't want me though, you said so last time you were here." I knew it. I knew he just wanted to fuck me, I could do this.

"I was scared, that's all. Now that I've had you, I want more."

"Oh really?" He was intrigued, I had caught his attention.

"Yes."

"Well I think we could arrange something, I mean you were technically mine before you were his anyways. He sort of crashed this party."

"I hate it, I just want you all to myself. " I licked my lips. "I just want to fuck you and suck you until you can't handle anymore." The fact that I was on the ground still helped me here. I pushed myself onto my knees as I spoke, giving him a visual of what I wanted.

The old me was back.

I hated it but it was here.

I didn't mean any of the words that were coming out of my mouth, it was an act. I just wanted to be safe and make sure that Tyler was as well. The sickening feeling in my stomach wouldn't go away.

His eyes looked hooded, I only needed to push him a little further. I reached my hand out and dragged it down his stomach, "Take me, Nicholas." I whispered using my breathy sex voice. I hated that voice because it always seemed so fake to me. I used to use it at the club all the time to get clients to want a private room or pay more for extras. I never needed it with Tyler. _Please don't hate me Tyler, I'm trying to get out of this the only way I can think of right now. _

"Come on." He grabbed my hand and pulled me off the ground. We started walking towards the kitchen, taking a right just before we got there and into a bedroom. Now I knew where I was. I was right off the kitchen, which meant the door was right there as well. I could do this. I was still shaking, I hoped Nick couldn't tell.

I just needed to get him to want me, keep him wanting me and keep Neil away.

He walks me towards the bed and stops. Probably trying to see if I try to escape or something. "Can you shut the door? I don't want Neil to walk in on us." I say it suggestively as though we're going to be in here for a while and we need our privacy. If this goes how I want it to I wont need to do much before getting out of here, fast.

"Of course. I don't want him to ruin anything we're going to do." He winked, walking over and locking the door. It made a small clicking sound, I'd need to cover that sound with something to get out of here.

I had him right where I wanted him.

I could do this.

I just needed to play this right and I could get out of here. As long as when I did I avoided Neil Iw oudl be fine. I wondered how he planned on keeping Neil away from m me, he obviously wasn't too big on the sharing thing.

"What are you going to tell him if he comes over here?" I asked as I walked closer to him. I wanted to know what his plan was, make sure he was really on board before I started.

"That you're mine right now." He said and kissed me, I was stiff at first. I didn't want to kiss him, ever.

I had to though, I needed to get out of here. I kissed back, hating every single second of it all.

"Let's go to the bed." I moved him over there and threw him down, climbing on top. I wanted to be in control. I kissed him again until I felt his arousal poking me, I hated this. His hands were all over my back and ass, he wanted to keep me there. "I just want to tie you up and fuck you so hard. " I whispered against his mouth as we kissed, he moaned.

Good.

"Can I do that to you? Can I tie you up and ride you?" Dirty talk seemed to work on him. I hated this. I fucking hated it. He opened his eyes as I backed up slightly, waiting for his answer.

"Only if I can tie you up after." He thrust himself upward, pushing into me. I wanted to jump off him and run away but I didn't. I couldn't He really thought I was into this, I always knew how to talk dirty to a man to make him want more.

"Please." I moaned into his mouth one of those fake porn moans. He bought it.

I hate this.

Tyler, forgive me.

I don't want to be doing this.

I need to get out.

This could work.

I can do this.

**TYLER**

"She's a great fuck, I'm sure you know that. Always so damn tight and wet." I want him dead, right now. Immediately. Fucker talking about Mallory like that. "We always did have a special relationship, she was my favorite."

He said it as though she was gone. A distant memory. I didn't like that. Where was she? Yes, I'm fucking frustrated that she lied to me, I can't even wrap my head around it still. I want to fucking shake her and ask her why she would do that to me. I want to ask her why she would lie, why she would cheat.

I just didn't understand how she could lie to me when I had told her I loved her. I fucking loved her.

You don't do that to someone that loves you.

Or someone you love.

But she never told me she loves me, she probably doesn't.

I'm nothing to her.

That doesn't mean I'm going to let her get hurt though. That's wrong. Max doesn't seem trustworthy and I need to know where he sent her. What he's done with her. He's acting like shes gone forever, that doesn't make sense. Nothing makes fucking sense.

I'm still fucking lost.

I may be fucking pissed as hell at her but I still love her, I do.

My adrenaline is taking over and forcing me to protect. Its pushing away the hate that's growing in my chest for her, the hate I never thought would come.

The problem is that I can't just leave this whole thing and hope she comes to find me. I need to find her.

Now.

"Where is she?"

"Let's go. Bring him." The man pulled me along as Max walked out the back door and to a black car. He threw me in the back seat and Max was already seated. What the fuck?

"Where are we going?"

"To see your girlfriend." He said it like I was stupid, like I should have known that.

This seemed wrong. The ride was silent, I still wanted to kick his ass and I'm sure he wanted to do the same to mine. We resisted though.

I couldn't focus on anything the entire ride.

I need to get Mallory out of wherever she is. What if shes there on purpose? What if she wants to be there? No. She'll want to come with me, she has to. She still must feel something for me even though she lied.

How can it be that the one person I care about is the one person who is crushing me, killing me from the inside out?

"Here we are." I didn't even realize we had stopped. He gestured to the apartment building outside of his window. "Shes in there."

**A/N: So Mallory is plotting her own way out and Tyler is just arriving outside. Uh oh! What will happen next? Any ideas?**


	30. Chapter 30 Max Mallory Tyler

**A/N: So a lot of you are worried about Tyler walking in on Mallory…hmm…**

**Max has a little appearance POV just so you all know what he was thinking as he dropped Tyler off at Nick and Neil's. **

**Thank you for the amazing response to the last chapter, I hope I continue to do this story justice for you all. I know that a lot of you have become as attached to these two as I am and I thank you for that.**

**MAX**

What an idiot. He believed every single word that I told him. I didn't even have to try very hard, every word I spoke he accepted into that dumb mind of his. He thinks Mallory wanted to do the deals, he thinks she wanted to fuck me. She didn't want any of that, I know that. She hasn't been all in it here since she met him. It fucking bothers me. She was always my daily fuck. She's great at it too, no emotional attachment either. She knew what I wanted and she'd give it to me as much as I wanted it.

Now I was going to lose her? Fuck no.

I mean when she came in asking to quit I knew it was because of this asshole. Men get jealous of the prostitutes here with other men but none of them have ever barged into a private room to fight. That was a first, and a last.

Which is why I need to get rid of her. And him.

She will be done with soon enough, Neil told me he'd make sure of it. He said it would be his pleasure. Better for me, someone else doing the dirty work.

She'll be gone for good. I wont have to deal with her bullshit, worry about her going to some other club or telling my secrets. None of that. Girls can't just work here and leave. That's not how shit happens.

Dropping Tyler off at Nick's apartment just added to the plan. I hadn't thought of it until he wouldn't stop asking where she was. I was supposed to show up anyways, they'd be ready. They'd know how to take care of him.

**MALLORY**

"You're so fucking hard." I moaned as he started thrusting against my clothing. I was back to my club mode. I had no hesitation in my words or actions, it was just like before.

"Are you wet for me?"

"Oh yes!" I know I was playing it up a little too much but I wanted him to really think I was into it. I didn't want to fuck him though, I wanted to be able to get out of this before then.

"Let me feel how wet you are." He reached down and touched me, I let him. The hesitation I had felt before was gone, I was finally thinking correctly. Well, correctly for the situation. He kept feeling around but before he could get more into it I put my plan into action.

"Ah ah, no more touching." I grabbed his hands and pulled them up and above his head. He let me, not fighting at all. I needed something to tie his hands with and I had nothing. I looked around and saw a tie laying on the chair a few feet away. That wouldn't really hold him for long but it would work long enough for me to get out, right? I had to try.

"Don't move." My voice was low, he whimpered. He fucking whimpered. I definitely owned him right now. I hopped off him and grabbed the tie, going back and tying his hands to the headboard. I made sure it was as tight as I could get it.

"Is that tight, Nicholas?" I asked as he grunted. He was fucking vocal.

"Yes." Putty in my hands. I got back on him and started kissing and touching. I wanted to get him as aroused as I could before making my get away. "Just like you'll be."

"Oh yes I will be." I grabbed another tie and wrapped it around his eyes. Now he wont be able to see me leave either. Perfect. "I need you to just focus on the feeling, can you do that?"

**TYLER**

Why would he just drop me off here?

As I got out of the car he mumbled something about the third floor and the first door on the right and only saying _good luck _as they drove away_._ What the fuck is that supposed to mean anyways? Good luck?

I didn't like it.

It didn't sound right. How was I supposed to get into this place anyways? I wasn't about to fucking buzz someone's room to get in. What the fuck would I say? _Let me in, I need to pick up my girlfriend. She lied to me, cheated on me, but I still want her._

I stood on the stairs outside, debating with myself for a moment. I looked into the building through the glass door and saw someone coming towards me. Yes. They were leaving. I wouldn't need to buzz anyone, I could just walk right in unannounced.

"Thanks." I mumbled and pushed past them as they walked through the door, they wouldn't know any different. I walked up the stairs, slightly rushing. I didn't know what I was getting myself into but I dint think dragging it out would make it better. Except when I got to the door I panicked slightly. She was in here supposedly. Could I trust Max? Would he lead me in the wrong direction? I didn't know.

The problem was that I had no other options. He left me here and I didn't think going back to the club to find out more information was an option at this point. I had burned that bridge.

I put my hand on the door knob, I didn't want to knock. Please be open.

I twist it carefully, slowly, it opens.

This is a nice apartment, definitely a mans. That doesn't make me happy. If Mallory is here then she's not with a girl, I would bet on it. I start slowly walking down the hallway, its dark and quiet. I can faintly hear voices in somewhere but I can't distinguish what they are, its too muffled. I look around and notice that this entire apartment has very few lights on. The walls are painted darker and the lgiths are dimmed. That actually works to my benefit, not as much worry about someone seeing me.

I'm getting a weird vibe being in here, like something Is wrong. I need something to defend myself with, a knife or something. I can see the kitchen isn't too far ahead and I walk faster towards it. I'll grab whatever I can find, heavy, sharp, whatever.

When I reach the doorway to the kitchen I freeze. I can hear the voices clearer now and it sounds like a girl and a guy. They are definitely hooking up or something to that extent from the moans and sounds of furtitunr bumping against the wall. Please don't be Mallory, please. I can't handle it. Where could she be?

I start opening the drawers around the kitchen, very carefully making sure to not make a lot of noise.

Towels.

Spices.

Silverware, no knives.

Scissors, not sharp enough.

Gun.

Who keeps a fucking gun in their kitchen?

Where the fuck am I?

"Max?" I hear a voice, a familiar voice. "We've been waiting for you." It's getting closer to me, I wonder who it is. I know that voice. I grab the gun out of the drawer and close it carefully. I hide myself behind a cabinet as the footsteps become louder, closer and closer. I don't know who this person is but I need to be prepared.

Why does that voice sound so familiar?

The person walked past me, not noticing me in the shadows. I held the gun up, just in case. I didn't want to be taken off guard.

"Max?" The person spoke again.

The air escaped my lungs.

Neil.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Mallory is supposed to be in the same place as Neil.

Fuck.

No.

This can't be happening.

She can't be here.

No.

What a fucking asshole.

She couldn't be here.

He's been working with Max?

Is that it?

Max sent me here to have me think that Mallory was here so that I would be bringing myself to Neil. So that he could do what he wanted with me. It was perfect, wasn't it?

"You fucking asshole." I spoke, quite loudly, pointing the gun directly at him. I didn't trust him one fucking bit. I wouldn't hesitate to shoot either, he should know that.

He whipped around, not realizing that I'd be there, the look of shock registering on his face before he could conceal it with the smug look he usually has.

"What are you doing here, Hawkins?"

"Max sent me." The look on his face at my words was priceless. He was so confused. I loved that I kept catching him off guard. Max had sent me here knowing that Neil would be here, he must have known something that I didn't.

**MALLORY**

I moved my way down his body so that my feet were on the floor at the end of the bed. I had finally got to a position where I could make a run for it, now I just needed to follow through.

"I'm going to suck you till you cum in my mouth. I can't wait to taste you." I murmured at him as he laid there.

"Oh God."

I lifted all of my body off the mattress and him, "Let me just take off my clothes, alright sweetie?" I heard him hum in acknowledgment.

This was my chance.

I walked over to the door, slowly, quietly.

He hadn't moved.

"I'm taking off my top." I moaned, I turned the knob as I spoke wanting him to hear my voice and not the door opening. Now my heart was pounding. Please don't hear me, please don't. I need this to work. I need to get out of here. "Now my bottoms, can you picture it?"

I slipped out the door and closed it just enough that he wouldn't hear me walking away.

**TYLER**

"You're lying."

"No I'm not. He even brought me here, told me that I should come take care of you so he wouldn't have to." Where did that come from? I had completely just made that up on the spot. Funny thing is that I have a feeling he had sent me here because he had sealed my fate already. Sending me up here to Neil, who knows what would have happened had I not found this gun.

"I dont believe you. I guess that doesn't matter though, you're too late." Too late for what?

"For what?"

"Your girl, shes why you're here right?"

"What?"

"Trust me, she got her _fill_ of Nick and I earlier." He made sure to put the emphasis on fill.

Red.

Before my brain could catch up I had thrown myself at him, hitting him in the head with the butt of the gun. He went down on the floor with a loud thud. I'm sure that would have sufficed to keep him out but I couldn't help it, I got down on the floor and began punching him. In the face, jaw, stomach, anywhere I could. I wanted him to feel the pain.

He fucked Mallory.

What the hell?

How is this happening.

This can't be real.

And Nick? I didn't even know he was still around.

What the fuck.

I want to kill Neil, I want to. I know I could. It would be easy.

Quick and easy.

I hear something behind me and I freeze. Turning my head around I see someone standing in the doorway, looking at me.

"Mallory?" I whispered, she looked scared. Her clothes were all messed up, her hair was in a knot and her eyes were wild. She reminded me of the girl I had seen that first time I went to the club. Shes okay.

Thank God.

I'm so conflicted looking at her. I love her, I love this girl. She lied though, a lot. Or was Max lying? I don't know anymore. I feel so lost.

"Tyler? What are you doing here?" She hugged her arms to herself. I was so fucking happy to see her. I hadn't messed this entire thing up, she was here. She was wearing so very little for clothes that my mind wanted to wander, wonder what she was up to. I wouldn't let it though. I needed to get us both out of here before I could make any conclusions.

"I'm here to get you." Her eyes softened at my words, I didn't know what to do. Part of me was saying, _yes baby I'm here for you. _ The other was saying, _ you fucked lied to me._

"Me?"

"Yes, let's go. Before Neil wakes up." He hopefully would be out for a while. I got up, holding the gun still. I didn't want to let go of it, I wanted to keep it just in case.

"We need to hurry." She whispered grabbing my hand and pulling me along, almost running down the hall and out the door. I stuffed the gun in the back of my waistband as we moved. We ran down the stairs and I could hear someone in the apartment we had just left. They were making a lot of noise and yelling for Neil. Oh no.

It was Nick.

She must have been with him.

What was she doing?

Why did she leave with me?

Had she been fucking him?

I hear him scream her name as she practically throws herself into the road to hail a cab. I tried to stop her, keep her safe but I didn't know what to do. I wasn't a help to anyone or anything right now. She was leading, being the strong one. I was lost in my thoughts and the situation.

As we drove away I saw her keep looking back at the apartment. I tried to wrap my arms around her and keep her head facing forward but she kept looking. Did she want to see if Nick was coming after us? I didn't think he would. He knew better than to do that. I still had the gun.

Now we needed to talk.

I didn't know whether to be frustrated and mad with her, yell and scream. Or if I should be kissing her and hugging her, telling her I love her and I'm glad shes safe.

I settled on one arm around her but keeping my distance all the same.

I didn't know what to do.

I don't think she does either.

She must know that I know something or I wouldn't have been able to find her.

We need to talk.

About a lot of things.

Did she really lie to me?

Did she fuck Max?

I know she did Neil and Nick but was it intentional?

I hoped I knew the answers to these questions, I hoped she would never do these things to me.

I love her and she has the power to hurt me more than anyone ever could.

I never thought I'd be in a position where I could break even further. Where the tine pieces I already was could get smaller, sharper.

_Please don't hurt me Mallory, I don't think my heart can take it._

**A/N: For those of you who might be confused: The door to the apartment was unlocked because they were expecting Max.**

**What did you think of this? **

**Tyler and Mallory have escaped. They have not talked. **

**Please leave me a review and let me know what you think, some of you have some awesome ideas! I love hearing what you're thinking! Thank you so much!**


	31. Chapter 31 Max Tyler Mallory

**A/N : I have a feeling this isn't going to go as you all expected. We get to see into Max head once more & then Tyler & Mallory finally get to talk..or yell? **

**If you want the full effect of this chapter go to youtube and look up Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift. Listen to that. It's absolutely perfect for this chapter. **

**This fic is not only the longest Tyllory fic on FFnet but also has the most reviews, thank you all so much! **

**MAX**

"Excuse me?" He better be kidding.

"They got away."

"How?" I dropped him off at the door, I knew he'd go inside.

"That bitch tricked Nick and Tyler had a gun."

"You two just let some whore and her boyfriend get away that easily?" I was pissed off. "How completely incompetent could you be to not do what I asked?"

"He had a gun."

"You don't have one?"

"He um- he had mine." Idiots.

"You were supposed to get rid of them."

"We will get th-"

"No. You're done." I hung up, quickly dialing again.

"Sir?"

"They failed. Take them out."

"We're on it." Now this is how things we're supposed to be done.

What to do with Mallory and her toy?

**TYLER**

The entire ride to her apartment I stayed calm. I wouldn't let myself think, I wouldn't let myself do anything. When we got out and started walking up the steps, my thoughts began to consume me. I knew when we got to her apartment we would talk. I thought that I could handle it all, deal with the things that Max had told me. I wanted to sort through them, make sure that I didn't have details wrong. I wanted to ask her casually what the fuck actually happened.

I didn't though. I couldn't get out of this hole that I was in.

I couldn't.

"Tyler, I'm sorry." Her voice was cracking, she was breaking down right in front of me. The problem was that it didn't make me feel bad, the second she said she was sorry something inside me snapped. Something changed the calm me into the raging fucking asshole that I wanted to be, what I craved to show her. I wanted her to know that she had fucked around behind the wrong persons back. I fucking love her and she did this to me? What is this bull shit?

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Red, so much fucking red.

"What?" She was stunned, she had the right to be. I had been so calm just moments ago and now I was screaming at her. I knew what happened behind my back though, didn't I?

"You're sorry? You could have just been killed. Do you not realize that? Did that escape your mind? Do you think they were just going to let you leave? I doubt it. You were fucking in there with Neil. Neil! Out of all people in this world."

"I know. I was getting out though, I was. I had a plan and I was going through with it. It was all working, then I saw you in the kitchen..." She was explaining and using her hands, I could see them shaking. She was scared, what was she scared of? Me?

"Yes, you walked into the kitchen where Max was supposed to be." I wasn't going to sugar coat this for her, she needed to know how much shit she had gotten herself into. Her face told me everything. She had no idea he was going there and it scared the fucking shit out of her. "Yeah, that's right… Max. He was going to be coming up there instead of me. Neil was ready for him. Who knows what they would have done."

"Max was coming?" She was still stuck on that. She looked down, anywhere but at me.

"He fucking set you up. Don't you see it?" My blood pressure was rising, my heart beat racing. We were screaming at each other, not even bothering to actually just talk.

She just stared at the floor, her mind was probably racing at the possibilities of what could have happened.

I couldn't handle it any longer, I needed to know the bigger things involved in this. The lies and cheating that she has supposedly done to me. She had fucked people behind my back? She had gone on more deals than just this one?

"You fucked Neil didn't you? And Nick? Am I right?" It came out of my mouth before I could word it differently. I walked away and towards the kitchen. I needed to get away from her, I was still seeing so much red.

"What? Who the fuck told you that?" I could hear her coming after me, the girl that was so confused was now angry.

"Neil did. At least he had the guts to tell me you were cheating." I paused, I was shaking with anger. "You definitely didn't."

"Fuck you, Tyler. You think I cheated on you with them by choice? You think its happened more than once?"

"Has it?"

"No!"

"Just one time?" I didn't believe her. I don't know why but something told me that I shouldn't.

"Yes, just one time. I fucking hated it. " I laughed sarcastically as she spoke. "Yeah because I could totally fight off two guys. I'm completely strong enough to do that." The sarcasm dripped from her voice, I couldn't seem to care though.

"Another mans dick was inside you Mallory. One that wasn't mine, after you said you were done with all that shit. You know, I expected that from you when we first met. I thought something like this would happen, I really did. Now I just feel like the fucking idiot boyfriend who trusted his stripper girlfriend too much."

"That's what you think this is? You think I'm just some whore who wanted you for sex but when I wanted more I left and got it from somewhere else too? You think I just can't keep my legs closed or something?"

"Because you can't! You let them fucking touch you!" My voice boomed in the apartment, she flinched slightly trying to hide it.

**MALLORY**

"Tyler! Can you hear yourself right now? Can you hear how absolutely absurd you fucking sound?" I walked right up to him, I wasn't scared. Is he fucking kidding me right now? I'm to blame for being raped? That's basically what it was. Even though I let them do it, I didn't want it.

"No, because I don't sound absurd." He sounded insulted that I would even think he had this all wrong, which in a lot of places he did.

"You arrogant fucking asshole. You think I wanted them to fuck me? That I wanted to cheat on you? That I just wanted to get away from you so bad that I would go hang out with them?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"I have been trying to but you wont listen. You don't do anything but yell at me like I'm the fucking problem."

"You are the problem." I'm the problem in the relationship?

"Fuck off. I was used and tricked, that's not be being the problem."

"Oh so now you're going to play the victim?"

"Im sorry, what? _Play the victim?"_

"Max told me all about you. How you begged him to give you a job that wasn't fucking so you could still make money, how you fucked him, how you lied to me this entire time."

I was speechless.

What is happening?

He knows.

Oh fuck he knows.

He knows I've done more deals, he knows that I've fucked Max.

He's already pissed about me fucking Neil and Nick, things I didn't have control over at all and now hes getting all pissed about Max.

This isn't good.

He thinks that I wanted to do the deals? Wanted to fuck Max?

"You lied to me, Mallory. So many times you just straight up lied to my face. "

"I didn't-"

"You did. Didn't you?" He ran his hands though his hair but not in the sexy way he would sometimes, it was in a frustrated angry way. A way that scared me. "Tell me Mallory, did you do other deals?"

"Yes but -" My answer was timid and scared. I hated this, I hated that he was taking everything so out of context. He believed Max, out of all people?

"How many? Was it two others?" He cut me off. He had definitely talked to Max. I was screwed.

"Yes but-"

"No but's. I'm not done." I had never seen this side of him with me before. He knew how to handle me in uncomfortable situations like this morning when he told me he loved me but this was different. This was him just being a complete animal. He had no respect for me or anything at this point. He was going to speak his mind and believe what he wanted to believe, even if it was wrong. Or partly wrong.

"So you did what three deals? Behind my back of course."

"Yes."

"And you fucked him, right?"

"Tyler, stop."

"You fucked him?"

"It wasn't my fault he-"

"Don't." His voice was deadly. He had never been this angry with me, there was nothing that I could do. What could I say, every time I tried to talk I got cut off or yelled at. I had no where to go, I felt like I had been backed into a corner. He stalked away from me and towards my bedroom, I followed.

"What are you doing?" I asked nervously, I wanted him to stay. I wanted to talk to him more and figure out what had gone wrong, how had he known where to find me? Did he just go and talk to Max or was there more?

I watch him pace around the room, looking around at our clothing intermingled on the floor and the bed is a mess from this morning.

"I fucking told you I love you and this is what you do to me?" His voice hurts me. I feel the anger burn away and the pain blossom in my chest. The tears I've been holding back are begging to be released. I watch him as he grabs the vase of flowers I've left in my room since he gave them to me , wrapping his fingers around. What is he going to do? I can't read him right now.

It all happens so fast as he throws them on the floor. The glass vase breaking into a million tiny pieces, just like I am right now. The flowers scatter and crush, its poetic really, how they are being destroyed just like we are. Or I am. I don't think he's feeling much of anything right now. He has emotionless eyes.

I freeze in my spot in the door, I'm scared to move. I don't want him to hurt me and I don't want him to leave. Maybe if I just stay still he wont do anything at all. He'll just wait till he calms down and then we can talk, right?

I stare at he flowers on the ground, red and pink mushed together, the tears begin to flow down my face. All of this is hitting me, everything that is going on. I finally let go. I wrap my arm around myself and throw the other one into my hair, tugging as hard as I can.

I look up and see him start to move around the room. He grabs a his sweatshirt, jeans, shirts and a duffle bag. _No. This isn't happening. No. We fight all the time and we always make up. _

"Tyler! " I screamed at him as he threw his clothes into a duffle.

He refuses to listen to me or speak to me, he just continues to pack. "Stop! Don't do this!"

I walked over to him and stood behind him. "Please!" The tears were streaming down my face, I could barely see through them as they clouded my eyes.

"Don't leave me, don't do this!" I begged him. My voice was coated in tears and full of emotion.

I hated that he wouldn't answer me, that he couldn't even look me in the eyes and talk. He just kept going around the room packing his things. I followed behind him, hoping he'd change his mind and stay. I had so much more I had to say, he hadn't heard my part of the story, only Max. That's not fair, he should totally hear my side of it as well, right?

"You can't leave me, you can't." I moved to the doorway and waited for him to come to me. Now he would have to talk to me in order to get out. I tried to wipe the tears away from my face but every single time I would, more would come pouring down.

"Get out of the way, Mallory." He finally spoke, his voice hard.

"No. I'm not letting you go, you can't do this to me." Salty tears poured down my cheeks, covering my face and falling to the ground.

"You chose this. You did this. I'm not going to let you run away this time." He paused. I hoped, prayed, wished, anything I could think of that he was going to say he'd stay. _Please God, let him stay with me. _ "I'm taking lesson from you now, I'm the one running away from you."

_No no no no no no no no._

I felt myself spiraling down, further and further into darkness.

He was running away from me?

No.

He can't.

I had to keep him here. I had to. He was everything to me.

_I loved him._

My breathing stopped.

_I loved him._

"I love you." It came out as a broken whisper, my voice was cracking. He looked at me, his eyes black. "I love you, you can't leave me. I love you and you love me." I was trying to reason it out in my head at the same time that I spoke.

"You love me?" Still the hard voice from before.

"Yes, I love you." I took a deep breath. "I think I always have."

"It's too late." He pushed past me as I went into what I can only think of to call shock. I stood against the door frame, holding myself up by gripping it with my fingers.

_It's too late._

I fucked it all up.

He's leaving me.

Everything has gone to shit.

I've ruined it all.

The one good thing I wanted to keep…

I can feel my heart burning, pulsing, deteriorating.

I'm losing everything.

I always destroy the good things that come to me.

I get myself together enough to move towards the living room. I see him picking up a few things and throwing them into his bag. He turns to look at me as he slides his phone into his back pocket, throwing the duffle over his arm. This is it. He's leaving.

My heart hurts so fucking badly I just want to scream. I want to tell him I feel like he just ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I want to run to him and tell him to fix me. He's the only one who can.

He wouldn't care.

My Tyler is gone.

Replaced with this cold, angry man.

"Get out." I barely speak as my tears continue to fall. I have to lean against a chair to keep myself upright. My entire body feels like it might just collapse against itself.

"Gladly." He slams the door as he leaves, shaking things in the kitchen.

He's gone.

He left me.

I'm alone.

I've lost him.

The feeling I had of collapsing before is nothing compared to right now. I crumple against the chair and hit the floor hard. I let my entire body just go limp as my crying and screaming echoes in my apartment. I have never felt this type of pain before. Its worse than physical pain. There is no band-aid you can put on your heart, nothing you can do to make it a quick recovery.

He's gone.

He left me.

I'm alone.

I've lost him.

_But Tyler, I love you._

**A/N: Please review. **

**I cried throughout this chapter, it was rough and intense to write. I would love to know what it was like to read, I'm hoping you guys got the same emotions as me. **


	32. Chapter 32 Tyler Mallory

**We're getting to the end everyone. I'm having a hard time dealing with it, not going to lie. **

**I feel so entirely close to Tyler and Mallory that it kills me to see them like this but it must be done. **

**Check out my Twific, Don't You Remember, if you have time. Theres 7 chapters up Also check out the fanfic rec site Charlie & I started on tumblr: readfanfic (dot) tumblr (dot) com**

**TYLER**

I walk outside her apartment and take the corner into the alley.

Repeatedly I pound my fist into the wall.

The bricks aren't giving way to my skin and bones, my skin and bones are giving way to the bricks. They are crushing me.

I feel pain shooting up my arm with every punch but I can't stop.

Its addicting.

I punch with left, right, left, left. Both.

I can feel the blood pumping through my system, telling me to keep going.

I hear her words in my mind, I hear the things Max told me.

I get angrier.

She fucking screwed me over.

I hate her.

I can't stand her.

I want her away from me.

She loves me.

She fucking loves me.

How perfect is that?

I felt the adrenaline slow down throughout my body.

The pain growing worse and my hands stopped moving.

My eyes are full of water, full of tears.

They began to fall down my face.

The pain in my arms is nothing compared to the pain in my chest.

I was fucking crying over this girl.

I'm lost.

How could I be doing this now?

I look down at my hands.

I'm bloody.

I'm a mess.

I'm broken, again.

**MALLORY**

My head hurts.

My face is wet from tears.

My eyes are sore and raw from crying.

My nose is going numb.

My body feels like it was just hit by a truck.

My brain is angry with me for not speaking up and saying what I needed to.

My heart is broken.

I don't know what to do. I'm not sure how long I have been laying on the floor. I've been staring at absolutely nothing, I have no recollection of what my eyes have been looking at because I've been so consumed with what's inside me.

I feel so numb. This is an entirely different numb than the one I was so used to from the club. This numb only turns me off to feeling anything but pain. Heart break. Loss. Emptiness.

I wish I could just crawl into a ball and forget the world around me. I want to forget everything that has happened since I met Aiden.

I should have never told him that I would go on the job with him, ever. I should have just left it all alone, done something in the club that night instead.

Then I never would have met Tyler, I never would have had the opportunity to talk to him, to get to know him, to fuck him and to love him. He wouldn't have fallen for me, he wouldn't have brought me flowers to the club , he wouldn't have encouraged that I quit, he wouldn't have done anything for me.

None of this would have happened.

Max wouldn't have threatened me, I wouldn't have been basically kidnapped, I wouldn't have to deal with Nick or Neil ever again.

I would have been happy.

Or would I?

It scares me to think that I'm wrong.

I wouldn't have been happy.

As much as I think that I was happy before I'm not sure that I actually was. Maybe I just thought that I was happy when in reality I was waiting for something better to come along, something that would change me for good.

If that's the case then I think that Tyler Is that one, that thing I was waiting for.

And I've lost him.

I've never felt so alone in my entire life.

My breathing is coming out is short bursts of air, like I've just run and worn myself out.

I haven't moved though.

Its like my body is just shutting itself down, keeping me from hurting myself further.

I remember what it felt like to lose my dad, it felt like a piece of me was missing. Gone. It felt like I wasn't loved anymore, like I meant nothing to the world. I was so young. I remember thinking that no one would ever be able to make me feel the same way he did.

I was right, no one has.

Tyler buried himself deeper than my dad ever could. It was an entirely different level of love. I will always love my dad but Tyler had a hold on me. I don't know how he did it. Now there doesn't feel like there's a piece of me is gone, it feels like all of me is gone. I feel like I'll never be loved again and no one cares about me. I'll never feel the same way about anyone again.

Now I'm in such physical and emotional pain I can't even get myself off the floor.

Love hurts.

Love is pain.

What do I do though?

Tyler wont listen to me. He wouldn't even let me speak when he was here. I could feel my brain shut off the memory so I couldn't think further it no that. I didn't want to, it had only happened minutes or hours ago. Which one, I didn't know. For all I knew it could have been days that I'd been laying here.

He didn't want to listen, but I needed to talk.

He had to know my side of the story, he had to.

Even if, as much as it hurts me to even think this, he never wants to see me again, I need him to know what actually happened.

How Max used me, blackmailed me, put me in a position where I was to be killed.

I will always be thankful for Tyler for getting me out of that mess.

Yet, Max got what he wanted, Tyler away from me. I hate that.

I need to talk to him, tell him what really happened.

Tell him that I miss him terribly and I love him.

I really do love him.

I hope he believes me, I really do.

I'll just call him, he'll pick up, we'll talk.

I roll my head to the side and lookat the door. My mind immediately brings up the memory of him leaving out of it.

_"Get out." I barely speak as my tears continue to fall. I have to lean against a chair to keep myself upright. My entire body feels like it might just collapse against itself._

_"Gladly." He slams the door as he leaves, shaking things in the kitchen._

My heart drops in my chest, the pain growing stronger. I need to talk to him, now.

**TYLER**

"What the fuck happened to you?"

"Nothing, fuck off." I walked into the kitchen and started reaching around trying to find something to help with my hands, they were bleeding a lot.

"No dude your bleeding everywhere, stop touching shit." I fucking know I am dumbass, that's why I'm trying to get something for it.

"Get the fuck away from me , okay? " I wasn't in the mood for his bull shit, I just wanted to be alone.

"Did something happen with your dad?"

"No." Don't say it, Aiden.

"Did something trigger your memories?"

"No." Don't do it, just stop talking now.

"Is it Mallory?" I whipped my head around and looked at him, making sure my eyes were as cold and lifeless as I felt as I spoke.

"Don't you ever speak her name to me again, do you hear me?"

**A/N I know it's a short chapter & you're probably thinking WHAT! But no worries my dear Tyllory lover, I am posting 2 more chapter very soon! **

**I would still very much appreciate a review on this though, what'd you think of Tyler's pov? Mallorys? What do you think she should do? What would you do if you were her/him?**


	33. Chapter 33 Mallory

******A/N; Ring ring, I'm calling you to let you know I've updated again.**

**Please leave a message after the chapter ;)**

**MALLORY**

I took a deep breath, it took me atleast a half an hour to get off the floor and find my bag. I quickly dragged it into the bathroom where I'm sitting on the floor. I feel sick to my stomach with pain. I don't want to be anywhere in my apartment that would make me think about him. This is the only place that we didn't fight before he left so in my head its okay for now.

My fingers shake so much that I can barely dial his number.

It rings once.

My hands are shaking so bad I cant hold the phone to my ear.

Rings again.

I'm close to throwing up, please pick up Tyler.

Rings again.

Again.

Again.

Why isn't he answering?

This is bad.

He wont pick up my calls?

He didn't ignore it, that's good right?

"_Hey its Tyler, I'm not here right now. Leave a message."_

_BEEP_

"_Call me, please." _

It's all I can think of to say. My voice cracks as I say _please._ The second I hang up, I'm already crying. I pull my legs up to my chest and squeeze them to me, why did I mess everything up?

_2 DAY LATER_

"_Hey its Tyler, I'm not here right now. Leave a message." _

_BEEP_

"_Tyler? Please, call me back. " _

_5 days later_

"_Hey its Tyler, I'm not here right now. Leave a message."_

_BEEP_

"_Its me again. I need to talk to you. Can you please, please just call me?"_

_6 DAYS LATER_

"_Hey its Tyler, I'm not here right now. Leave a message."_

_BEEP_

"_I guess you don't want to talk to me. I understand. I'll just talk to your answering machine then. The words you said to me are burned into my brain. I wont call anymore. I just want you to know I meant every word that I said. I always will. Goodbye, Tyler."_

I threw my phone across the room. Its been almost a week and he wont even remotely respond to me. The calls don't get ignored, they just ring and ring until they hit voicemail where I leave messages that make no sense and he probably deletes before hearing. Its as if he's completely taken me out of his life. Like I never existed.

How did it come to this?

Oh, because I fucked up beyond belief.

He has to hate me, there's no other conclusion.

I haven't been able to do anything all week.

I haven't left my apartment. I haven't been eating much of anything other than a few crackers and a can of soup. I barely could keep those down. I don't sleep very much because when I do I dream and when I dream I have nightmares. I can barely sit in my living room without having a complete panic attack so I stay in the bathroom. I sit in the tub or against the wall.

I stare at the lines in the tiles, the curve of the fixtures, anything to keep myself remotely occupied.

The pain in me is just as strong as before.

I hate this.

What else can I do though?

I can't let that message be the last thing I say to him. I can't. There is so much more that he needs to hear from me. I need him to know my side.

What other way would I have to get a hold of him, though?

I don't dare go to his apartment, I think that could hurt me more than help.

He would probably call the cops on me or do some shit like that. Have Aiden escort me out. Something.

I can't do that.

I need something, though.

I need to be able to tell him how I feel without letting him be able to delete it.

No texts, no emails.

Something more permanent.

A letter?

Would that be lame? Probably.

Would it work? Maybe.

I walk over to the kitchen and find a random piece of paper and a pen.

I might as well try it, see where my writing takes me.

This could be my chance to get him to hear me out and maybe even talk to me again.

I need him.

I'm not afraid to admit that anymore. Though, I've come to terms with the fact that there's a chance I wont get him. I may never get him back.

It doesn't matter though, I have to try. Anything I can do to try and get him back I will do because no one has ever made me feel this way . I can't give up. I don't even know who I am anymore, some girl who is chasing after a boy. What is that? I never thought I'd be the one to do that.

Its like when he left something changed, something triggered within me, I can't explain It but its there.

Now I just need to figure out a way to write my thoughts down and hope he doesn't rip it into confetti.

**A/N: BEEP! **


	34. Chapter 34 Mallory

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the feedback you've been giving me, its amazing and I appreciate it so much! I am trying to go through and respond if I am able to do so. **

**I'm sure you'll all be happy to know this fic will not be ending today, I can't seem to get it all together in order to do so. I've decided that I will still finish it soon but I will be posting an outtake or two and it will completely finish on Feb. 14. I think that works nicely for my wish to have it end on a "14****th****" (you probably think I'm so weird.) **

**Without further adieu here's Mallory's letter.**

_Tyler,_

_Please don't throw this away._

_I'm really hoping that you'll actually read this and hear me out. Please. I never thought I'd be the one who would be writing down thoughts to send to you but.. here I am. Is the only way I could think of getting a hold of you since phone calls aren't working. I promised I wouldn't leave a message again and I'm keeping that promise. I just..I want to tell you what I'm thinking, what I was thinking and explain myself. Or atleast try to. I'm just going to lay it all out there because in reality I have nothing left to lose. You were all I had and you're gone. _

_First of all, I am so sorry. I know that probably means absolutely nothing to you right now and I get that but I am very sorry. I always was and I always will be. I hate myself. I really do. I know you probably don't believe that either but I have never hated anything more than I hate myself right now. I hurt you and violated your trust. I destroyed what we had. I can never forgive myself for doing that._

_You never gave me a chance to explain myself, to let me tell you why I did the things I did. I know you probably don't want a recap of what occurred but I just need to say a few things. I never wanted to do those jobs. I quit when I said I quit. Max kept calling me and asking me to do more. Well, no, not ask, tell. He would tell me I had to do more. I had to do a job for him or whatever. I had said no, I really did. I tried to get out of it but it wouldn't work. _

_Thinking back now, I should have just come clean with you about it then but I couldn't. I'm stubborn and I thought you'd leave me. Or worse, get hurt. I couldn't live with either of those so I just told myself that I'd handle it, that I'd do whatever I could to get out of it all. I wanted out._

_Ironically you ended up leaving me and getting hurt. At least, I think you're hurt. I know that I am. _

_Tyler, the most important thing you need to know is that I would never intentionally cheat on you, ever. Max had blackmailed me into having sex with him, to doing anything with him. He used me as much as he could. He told me if I didn't do what he said he would hurt you, kill you. I couldn't have that. I would not let him touch you. Never. I wasn't going to allow him to do anything to you because of me. I should have realized at that point that I love you. Part of me knew it but it wasn't strong enough to fight against the side of me that was afraid. _

_Love isn't something that I've had the best experience with, or even experience at all. I was scared and my way of coping with that was just to keep my heart at a safe distance. _

_I only wish I could have told you sooner, in a different way. All these I could have, I should have, you've probably thrown this away by now. _

_I know you're probably thinking why did I just tell you? Why didn't I just come to you and say help? _

_I want to answer those questions with an amazing response, one that would make you talk to me again, love me again._

_I can't._

_I didn't tell you or anyone else because I thought I could handle it. I thought that if I just did what he said, like I had for years, that everything would go away. I could not ever risk you getting hurt in the process. You really were my main concern, I'm not lying. I could give a shit if I was hurt, killed, whatever. I wasn't about to let you pay for my mistakes. _

_I had wanted to tell you all this in person but this will have to do. I refuse to let myself read back through it because I know I'll just crumple it up and throw it away, never sending it to you. _

_I really do miss you and I really want to talk to you but its up to you now. I've already made my decision. You're it for me. It took me so long to realize that you were but I suppose its better late than never, right? _

_I hope you read this and will at least think about talking to me again. _

_It's all on you now. _

_I love you, Mallory_

**A/N: Its scatter brained and written from her heart. What do you think of Mallory's letter?**


	35. Chapter 35 Tyler

**A/N: I know you've all been anxiously awaiting this chapter to see what Tyler has to say about everything he did with Mallory and the letter she sent him. Sorry it took me a little longer than I thought to get this out.**

**Tyllory lovers, thank you for all your support with every single chapter, I love you all.**

**TYLER**

I haven't talked to her in a week.

I can't.

I won't allow myself.

Its dangerous.

I don't even allow myself to feel.

I can't. Not after what happened last time I saw her.

Every single fucking time I think about that day, those last minutes in her apartment, my heart just..burns. It feels like someone is punching me repeatedly in the stomach and sucking the air from my lungs.

I always end up punching things, throwing things or slamming doors. Anything to get out the anger and worthless feeling I have inside out of me. It never works.

I'm still angry about what she did. It bothers me to no end.

Part of me definitely hates her. Part of me definitely loves her.

I can't tell you which side is winning.

I'm sitting on the couch in my apartment, where I've spend most of my time since I last saw her and I feel the memories coming. One of the many I get throughout the day. I don't know what triggers them, they just happen. This one is becoming the worst. My brain has her words permanently burned into my brain.

_"Tyler! " She screamed at me as I threw my clothes into a duffle. _

_I ignore her. It's so fucking hard. "Stop! Don't do this!"_

_I feel her standing behind me. "Please!" I am trying to hard to hold back the tears threatening my eyes. No. She lied, she cheated on you, she's not who she says she is. Don't let her see your weakness. Don't._

_"Don't leave me, don't do this!" I could hear how scared she was, she was begging me to stay. I had to leave. Don't be a fucking pussy Tyler. Leave. Get out of here. You can't let her use you again. _

I feel the tears streaming down my face. I was such an asshole. I treated her like shit. I don't even know who I was when I was there. I've never seen her like this, so vulnerable. She's always the one to put up the front, to do what I'm doing right now. I always hate when she does it. Maybe I've learned from her. Maybe that's where I'm getting it from.

_"You can't leave me, you can't." She's going to try to block me, keep me here. I feel my guard go up instinctively. Mallory, it won't work. _

_This isn't like every other fight we've had. Or misunderstanding we've gone through. _

_This is her lying to me as if I'm nothing to her. Cheating on me as if I wouldn't care. What is that? How could that even be possible? I fucking told her I love her. Love her. I don't just fucking throw that around like its nothing. That meant something, it still does. _

_"Get out of the way, Mallory." I put so much effort into making my voice come off as hard as possible. Let me leave, Mallory. Don't fight this. It's over. We're done. Don't make this more difficult than it already is._

_"No. I'm not letting you go, you can't do this to me." Her face is wet with tears that keep flowing down her face. They aren't stopping. Her eyes are so frightened. I'm breaking her. She's never going to forget this. She's been hurt in the past but even when she talks about that her eyes don't have the sadness they do now. _

_I'm leaving the one girl I love because I can't do this. I can't get hurt again. I wont allow it. _

_I've been used before and it never ends well. I need to break this off before it can get any worse. _

_I need to. _

_I silence the voice in my head telling me to forgive her. Telling me that I need to just hug her and soothe her worries. Tell her that I'm not going anywhere and that I want to be with her no matter what. No. That side of me is weak and exactly the reason that I'm in this mess._

_She has always been my weakness but that is over with. _

_She can't break me down anymore._

_She can't control me like she has since I met her._

_The ties are cut. _

_It's done. _

_"You chose this. You did this. I'm not going to let you run away this time." I paused, letting that sink with her. She always was the one to leave me. She always let me freak out and wonder what I did wrong, how I could fix it. Not anymore. "I'm taking lesson from you now, I'm the one running away from you."_

_"I love you." I barely heard it but I knew what she said. My breathing stopped momentarily. Oh how much I wanted to hear those words from her. Now they mean nothing. Not in this context. "I love you, you can't leave me. I love you and you love me." Is that how she thinks this works? Because she loves me I'm supposed to fucking forget all the shit she's done. That's not logical. That's fucked up._

_"You love me?" Still the hard voice from before._

_"Yes, I love you. I think I always have." No. Stop. Don't say shit like that. You can't. You don't mean it. Its fake because you want me to stay. _

_But it's not. I can see it in her eyes that its not. It kills me because its not a lie. She's telling me the truth, she loves me. She finally fucking gets the courage and its too late. _

_I can't stay._

_I can't do this. I need to get out of here and think. _

_"It's too late." I walked past her and left her in the doorway. I rummage around the living room, finding my things and shoving them into my bag. I can feel myself start to cry but I shove the feeling away. No. This is what I should do. This is what anyone in my situation would do. She fucked up. Theres only so much one person can take and I've had enough. I can't have someone keep fucking with me at every point in my life. _

_"Get out." She's barely holding herself up as she leans on the chair. She looks frail. I've done it. I broke her. What I thought would give me satisfaction is now making me sick. It doesn't matter though, she fucked me over. Literally._

_But it's typical Mallory. Needing to be strong and dominant even in a time like this, a time when I know shes hurt. She's damaged beyond belief. Yet, she still needs to fight, still have the last word._

_I take a deep breath. _

_Not this time. _

_"Gladly." I slam the door, as hard as I possibly can._

_I feel so lost. I'm pissed the fuck off. I hate her for what she's done. I do._

_I love her. I know that. _

_I just.._

_I can't forgive her._

_It's like everything in our relationship has been a lie._

_I don't know what else she's lied about._

_I don't know what else has gone on._

_I feel so in the dark about everything._

_I'm not only questioning us, but me. _

Standing outside her apartment punching the wall, over and over. That's where I broke. I wanted to go back inside, tell her I love her. I couldn't.

Now, It's been a week.

I've received phone calls.

She hasn't stopped by, luckily.

She hasn't tried to contact Aiden, but I'm not sure why she would.

Truthfully part of me is still surprised that she's still trying to talk to me at all. I treated her horribly, I know that. I don't know if I regret it though. Lies, deceit. Not easily forgotten.

When she calls and I see her name across the screen I feel split in two.

One part wants to throw the phone into the wall and break it into pieces, change my number, just be rid of her completely.

The other side of me wants her to keep calling, I want to know that she still wants me, that she's sorry.

I know I love her. I didn't stop loving her. My mind just can't reconcile with my heart in this situation. I feel used and played and naïve. I feel like the biggest idiot in the world.

I have four new voicemails. I know they're from her. I don't dare listen to them. I don't even want to go into my voicemail to delete them though because that doesn't feel right either. With my fucking self control I'd probably end up listening to them anyways, and I don't want to do that.

I just sit and stare at my phone screen. 4. Will she call again? Maybe in a few days? I don't know. The last call I got from her was two days ago.

I jump when I hear the door to the apartment open. Aiden walks in the apartment and throws some mail down on the counter in the kitchen. I hadn't moved from my spot on the couch all day. I had been so off at work this past week that Sal gave me some time off. I think he figured I'd cut a finger off or put something weird in the sauce if I stayed. Whatever.

Aiden and me hadn't been getting along this past week. It wasn't him, it was me. He was feeling the brunt of my frustration. He was the one that I would go off on when I would ignore one of Mallory's calls. He was the one I would yell at when I would see another voicemail pop up on my screen. I've been a total asshole this entire week and I know it.

I just cant change it.

I cant get myself out of this funk.

I can't shake the fact that I love Mallory and she screwed me.

I cant forget what shes done no matter how hard I try.

I hate that.

Aiden has tried to talk to me about it, tried to help me get through it. I ignore him. I wont talk about it. He doesn't know what happened. He thinks I just left her I guess. He must assume there is more since I am acting so harshly.

"You got a letter." He says very nonchalantly.

"Let me guess, Charles sent it?" He preferred to mail me things instead of call or actually meet up. I didn't care, I hated having to deal with him in any shape or form.

"No."

"He didn't?"

"Nope." He seems slightly nervous.

"Then who?"

"Mallory."

"Throw it away." Its my immediate reaction. I don't want something from her. I can't.

She wrote me a letter. My mind is trying to grasp that and it can't.

Why would she do that? It doesn't seem like something that she would do. She's not the letter writer. Then again I don't know if shes ever chased a guy or tried talking to him as much as she has with me this week. And I am ignoring her.

Trying to stay strong.

"Why?"

"I don't want to read it." That's partially true.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"Who the fuck cares what you want anymore, you've been an asshole all week. You've been worse than you were before you met her. If you wont read this letter then I will. Maybe she explains what the fuck happened since you won't talk to me about it. Then we can move on and be done with all this bull shit." Before I could stop him I saw him rip it open and unfold it. It looked like it was written on paper that had been ripped and crumpled.

My hands tightened into fists.

I wanted to kill him for looking at it, what could she have written in there?

I see his eyes scan it, back and forth over the paper. What does it say!

Its driving me insane.

I need to see it.

No.

I don't.

I can't.

I don't want to lose the control I have right now.

I can't lose it.

But what could she need to tell me so badly that she would write it in a letter?

"Wow." He whispered to himself. What the fuck! He looked up at me and back down at the letter, "You're an idiot." He placed it on the counter again and walked away.

He was doing it on purpose. He was tempting me, trying to get me to take the bait. Saying _wow ___and leaving it on the counter. Open. Waiting for me to come and read it. Telling me I'm an idiot like there's something in there that's going to make me change my mind about ignoring her. Who did he think he was?

I walked towards the counter and grabbed the letter. I refuse to look at it. I can feel the texture of it in my hands, crumpled, old and once wet. _She was probably crying as she wrote it._

I threw it in the trash.

I can't do it.

No.

It will hurt too much.

I need to sever the ties, right? That's what people do when they want to feel better, when they want to forget.

I opened the fridge and looked inside.

What am I even doing? Putting on an act for myself? I want to read it.. I don't want to read it.

So fucking conflicted, I'm sick of it.

"Fuck it." I mumble to myself, quickly snatching the letter from the trash. My eyes scan it and it has definitely seen some tears, you can see the marks where they landed, where she wiped them away. Her handwriting looks rushed and messy.

_Tyler,_

_Please don't throw this away._

**A/N: Tylers side of things can flip flop quite easily. His emotions are everywhere, his thoughts are fighting against each other. Can you relate? Have you ever had something happen where part of you wants one thing and part of you wants another? **


	36. Chapter 36 Mallory

**A/N: Please vote in the poll on my ffnet profile page for what outtake/extra you would like to see.**

**Mallory**

We accept the love we think we deserve.

I don't think that I deserve any.

That's probably why I'm in the situation that I am.

I never felt that I was worth of love, to be love or love anyone else. I thought that I had lost that privilege a long time ago.

I think I even lost who I once was, the second I lost my dad.

Then Tyler came along and changed everything.

Brought that old side of me back even if its just for a few seconds at a time.

He brought that out, made me feel less pain, made me feel better.

I ruined that though.

I can't just have him and be happy and realize what I have.

I had to wait and lie and fuck every possible thing up before I could actually realize how much he means to me.

All hope of mine is gone.

Yet there's a part of me that refuses to give up, I can't.

He's the first person to mean something to me and I can't let him go. Not this easy. He's going to have to do more than move out of my apartment and take all his things, yell at me, scream at me and then ignore me.

I sound like an insane person, everything I've just said should be telling me all that I need to know, he doesn't want me. He moved out. He left. He took everything. There's only one thing that he forgot and its one of his white v neck shirts. I've been wearing it for the past couple of days. I found it under the bed, probably kicked under there while we were fucking.

No, we didn't fuck. We made love.

God, who am I?

I don't even know what I'm talking about.

This one fucking person has changed me so drastically in such a short period of time that I don't even know what I'm doing with myself.

When he left though, it shocked me.

It was as if someone was shaking me, yelling at me.

Saying that I can't keep living in my bubble, I can't keep pushing people away and trying to protect myself because I'm not doing any of that. I'm hurting others in the process of hurting myself.

It's not benefiting anyone, helping anything. Only hurting.

I've always only hurt.

I need to just go with it now, take the happiness I once had and chase it, go for it.

It might be my only chance to do so.

Telling me that I need to make him mine. I need to find a way to keep him. Forever.

Its harder than it looks.

Its morning and I'm waking up in my bed alone, again.

I sent out the letter five days ago.

Signed my heart away.

Left it to him.

Leaving him to decide our fate, my fate.

I've never mailed anything to anyone but I assume it doesn't take five days to go ten blocks.

That means he either didn't read it, or he doesn't care.

Maybe he just threw it away the instant that he received it.

My handwriting was so shaky that day that I'm sure he thought it was just someone creepy trying to contact him.

So there goes that idea, out the window with the rest of our relationship.

My heart keeps telling me to go and see him, just go and do it. What could it hurt? My brain however is yelling at me to stay put.

Do something else.

What else Is there though?

There's only one option that I can think of.

Going to see him.

Somehow. Somewhere.

His house?

On the street?

His word?

If I do that, I'm definitely going to have to talk to him. There will be no other option. I'll have to just say what I'm thinking and hope he doesn't ignore me then too. Or yell at me. Or any other bad scenario that my brain keeps creating.

Should I do this?

Yes.

Why not?

Right?

Sure.

No.

This is bad.

This can't work.

I need him though, I do.

I miss him.

I at least need to see him one more time, right?

See him, touch him, feel him, taste him.

No. Stop it.

If I go its because I'm going to get him back, or at least try to. None of this creeping around shit. I slide out of bed and walk around the flowers and vase that are still a mess on the floor. Its painful to see but I can't bring myself to clean it up.

I walk into the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. My hair is a mess, I haven't brushed it in days. My eyes are puffy and black because of my makeup. I look extremely pale and sick. I don't give a fuck. I throw on whatever I can find and I head out the door.

I can't look back now, there's no time for that.

O_-_-_O

I think I've been standing outside the restaurant for a half an hour. I am nervous, I don't know what to say to him. I guess I just need to say whatever comes to mind, whatever I want to know. Whatever will make him listen to me? I need to just do it, just go in and get it over with. Soon. People are starting to think I'm crazy just standing here staring at the windows. I positioned myself so that he wouldn't be able to see me if he was looking out, I didn't want that to happen. I wanted to have somewhat of an upper hand.

I can do this.

As I repeat that over and over in my head someone walks by me and hits my shoulder. They weren't doing it on purpose, its New York it happens, yet all I can think of is that its my sign. Its someone telling me that I need to just do this, get up the courage and go.

What do I have to lose? I've already lost everything.

I opened the door and my hands were shaking, violently. I couldn't hold anything right now, I probably looked like a fucking drug addict coming off a high. I wouldn't doubt it. That's probably why people had been looking at me so weirdly.

My eyes quickly scanned the restaurant, waiting to see the familiar mess of brown hair. I was nervous and ended up having to scan the room four times before finally seeing him at the counter, helping some people. I don't think he had seen me yet. Good.

I walked forward, composing myself with every step. Focus, its just Tyler.

The people in front of the counter walked away leaving me only feet away from him. With nothing but a counter top between us. It was daunting, scary even. This was the first time I had seen him since he left me. Since he stormed away, shattering every part of me.

I put my hands up on the counter, gripping the edges to keep myself stable.

"What can I get for you?" He spoke, without looking up. I say nothing. I scan his face and I'm taken back by seeing him now. I expected him to look happier or something? I don't know? I guess I thought that because he wasn't with me and he seemed to be okay with that, that he would look _better._ He doesn't. He looks horrible. He's in shambles. He has somewhat of a beard growing in and his hands are shaky. His hair is crazy but not in the sexy way it was before, now its more of a sad and depressed way.

"What are you doing here?" My eyes quickly go back to his and I almost have to recoil. He seems angry and shocked at my presence.

"Uh-" Complete loss of all thought.

"You can't be here." Yes, I can. I feel my strength trying to push its way back.

"It's a restaurant, yes I can."

"Fine, what do you want to order?" He's being short with me and I know he just wants me to leave, I can tell. I came here for something though and I'm not leaving until I get it.

"I need to talk to you." I order. My voice sounds strong and meaningful. Finally.

"That's not what I meant."

"Tyler."

"Is there an issue, Tyler?" A man who I can only assume is his boss came over and stood beside him, looking at me with a smile. He probably thought that Tyler was just being an asshole to any random customer.

I wasn't about to correct him.

_No, I am not random._

Tyler glares at me, his eyes are cold and angry.

"No we're good." He looks at his boss and smiles, its so fake.

"Alright, have to keep the customers happy!" The man smiles at me again and pats Tyler on the back before walking back into the kitchen.

"Just leave Mallory, please."

"I just want to talk to you." I say it casually, I don't want to beg.

"No." He goes back to doing something behind the counter. I follow him as he moves around. He's avoiding eye contact now.

"Did you get my letter?"

"Yes." He got it. He didn't react to it. At all. He didn't try to contact me in any way shape or form. What the fuck? Did he think that I was lying and all that was bull shit? Wait, he got it but did he read it.

"Did you read it?"

"We're not talking right now." So hes not saying that he read it or not?

"Did you read it?"

"Yes." And he still didn't try to contact me. This is bad. Worse than I expected. Fuck me.

"So you still feel the same way?" He knows that I mean the same way as when he left me in my apartment. Even if he didn't all he'd have to do was look into my eyes and he would be able to tell.

"I don't fucking know." His fingers twist into his hair, pulling hard. "I wasn't ready to see you today, at all. Can you not see that?"

"I figured that it was my only way."

"I'm sorry, Mallory." He didn't sound sorry, he sounded like he pitied me. Like he thought I was worth nothing. Like he couldn't believe that I thought I still had a chance with him. I didn't say another word, I just walked out. I didn't think that there was anything left to say. What could I do to make him love me, to make him care about me?

The street was busy with people, it was just around noon. I enjoyed it because I could lose myself in the crowd. I was walking down the street, towards my apartment, avoiding thinking. I tried to be numb, to forget all the bullshit.

The love I have for him isn't gone, its in my heart.

My heart is just broken in pieces. It feels stomped on, kicked, punched, squeezed. He really can't hurt me any further, I feel like I've past that mark a long time ago.

I keep closing my eyes, hoping to keep the tears at bay before I get to my apartment. I don't want to be the girl walking down the streets crying. I'm not that girl, I never have been. No.

"Mallory!" I hear my name being called but because of the zone I've put myself into it sounds muffled, far away. Maybe it is? "Mallory! Mallory!"

Its Tyler's voice, I know it is.

Is it real or not, though? I don't know. My sub conscious could just be messing with me at this point.

"Mallory stop!" I stop in my tracks. That voice is closer than I thought. I flip around and see him pushing through people, trying to get to me. I don't know if he saw me or if he just knew I had gone this way but he was determined to get through.

"I'm sorry I'm being such an asshole, I had planned to be calm and nice and civil the next time that I saw you. I didn't want to be like this."

"Then why is it like this?" I threw my hands up. I was frustrated. The fucking mood swings on him were killing me. I'm sure I did the same thing to him but that's when we were so fucking complicated. Before either of us knew the full extent of our situation. I feel like then we had the right to be crazy and volatile in our relationship. Now it just makes no sense. We're both out in the open right?

Whatever.

"I don't fucking know. I'm lost. Since I read your letter I've been trying to figure out what to do. Because I seriously don't know." He ran his hands though his hair, closing his eyes.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't want to lose you." He breathed out as his hands fell to his sides. His eyes opened and connected with mine instantly. "I'm pissed off and yet I miss you like fucking crazy. I don't want to lose you, I can't."

"I don't want to lose you either, but like I told you in my letter its all on you now. I can't do anything more. I mean I suppose I just did by coming to see you at work and all but-"

"Its on me." It was more of a statement to himself than me but I responded anyways. I wanted to make sure that he knew that I meant it. That it was up to him what happened with us taking it any further. I obviously wanted this and I was going to stick around no matter what to do what we needed to do.

"Yes."

"Can we uh- can we talk about this more in a little bit?" Now he was nervous and I didn't get why? " I didn't really tell my boss that I was leaving, I just kind of ran after you immediately."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I should have expected that you would just run away." I hated hearing him say that. All his words from my apartment were instantly brought back to me. I had to close my eyes and squeeze them shut for a moment, trying to get rid of the memories.

"Mallory?"

"Yeah, sorry about that." I pulled myself out and back into reality.

"Can I come and see you after work?" This was why he was nervous. He was asking to come to my apartment, to come back, to come see me.

"Yes." I answered, too quickly. I didn't hesitate because I knew that I wanted him there.

"Alright, good. Then I'll see you there in two hours?" I shook my head and I felt a small smile play across my lips. It was the first time since he left that I had felt relatively happy. I didn't know how our little talk would go or what he would say but I figured that I should just go with it.

Telling myself once again, I had nothing to lose.

I had already lost him.

Now I just had to get him back.

**A/N: I never know when I can update so I'll just say: Soon my Tyllory lovers, soon.**


	37. Chapter 37 Mallory Tyler

**A/N: Tyllory lovers, I don't think you expected this. Warning: Bad things are about to happen, tissues may be needed. If you want to avoid the bad read the first little part of Mallory's and skip to the bottom. Enjoy.**

**Mallory**

Fuck.

He's going to be here in a few hours and the place looks like he never left. The things that he threw around when he was looking for his stuff are all still in the exact same place as it was before.

The vase and flowers are crushed on my bedroom floor.

Some of my clothes are scatted around where his once mingled.

The living room looks horrid, like someone went around pulling and pushing things. Probably some of that's from me but still.

This is awkward. I need to clean and re arrange. I can't have him coming in and thinking that I have been so hung up on him since he left that I can't even clean .

It still hurts looking at everything, that feeling hasn't gone away. It's the reason why all of it is still in its place. I didn't want to touch it or move it. I think part of me thought that if I did I was acknowledging that it was all real. That he really did leave me.

I think I'm past that now though, at least I hope that I am.

I throw away the flowers and carefully pick up the glass.

I start going around and picking up clothes and things that I've left.

I'll just clean my entire apartment.

Its quite therapeutic, its keeping me from thinking about what might happen.

I'm in the kitchen cleaning when I hear a knock at the door. Tyler? What time is it? I don't know what time he gets out of work but I don't think that I've been cleaning that long. It's probably only been twenty minutes. He had told me two, right? Yeah he did. I wonder if he got off work early in order to come and see me? I wonder if he would do that for me or if were even at that point again? I don't know where we are. I just want to go back to how we were before all this fucked up shit.

I take a deep breath as I head for the door.

I am slightly nervous.

I need the motivation and guts I had earlier.

Come on, Mallory.

I mean he did that he didn't want to lose me. That has to mean something, right? He read my letter and he doesn't want to lose me. So he knows what I had to say, he knows my side of things. I guess now we just need to talk about what we want to do with ourselves now. I don't think that we're in a position to just forget about it all and move forward. We obviously need to figure out where we're going with everything, what we're doing, what's next?

I open the door and immediately try slamming it shut once again.

Fuck.

This can't be happening.

Not now.

The door won't shut though, its stuck.

He had slid his foot into the doorway, holding it open.

I quickly shove myself against the door, my hands pushing so hard they're turning white, my legs bent and ready to hold myself up, my toes digging into the carpet.

I keep pushing and I feel him lean against the doorway and stay very still, as if this is nothing to him.

I push with all my weight against it, please don't come in. No.

I probably don't even weigh a hundred pounds right now though, I haven't really eaten in almost two weeks. That's not helping me. I'm a liability to myself at this point.

My phone is in my bedroom, kitchen is too far away.

I can feel my options crumbling before my eyes.

I'm alone.

He pushes against the door lightly, obviously not using all his strength.

"Open it." His voice is low and deep.

"No." I try to sound forceful and it only comes out as a high pitched whisper.

"Mallory, now." I start to shake. A panic attack is definitely coming.

"Get out."

I feel him let up slightly and I think that maybe he might leave? I still keep my weight against the door, just in case. I start looking around me for things that I could use to get him away from me, out of here.

I can't find anything.

Nothing to hit him with, nothing to hold the door closed, nothing.

I'm screwed.

This is bad.

Very bad.

No. No. No.

I dig my bare feet into the carpet, harder, trying to push against the door.

"If you do not open this door in three seconds I am going to knock it down. Do you hear me?" My breathing is getting so loud, I can hear my heart thumping in my chest. Blood is rushing to my head. I don't know what to do with myself. I need to calm down, I need to stop panicking. Stop it.

"Three." What do I do? Open it? No. Of course not.

"Two." I'm screwed.

"One." The door is shoved violently and I fly away from it, hitting the floor with my shoulders first. The sound is muffled in my ears. All I can hear is my heartbeat and my heavy breathing.

Max is in my apartment.

"You're such a dumb bitch, did you really think that you could keep me out?" I said nothing, I tried to push myself up off the floor but my right shoulder was throbbing. I had landed directly on it. "I could have come in any time I wanted but I figured I should let you recover from- oh well, you know."

"Get out of my house." My voice is strong, I stand as tall as I can. He still towers over me.

"No, I'm good." He turns around and shuts the door, locking it.

"Get out!"

"You're forgetting that you're mine. No one else's. You can't just run away from me. You can't leave me. No one can take what's mine. "

"I'm nobody's girl."

"Well, I disagree. "

"I don't give a fuck what you think. Get out." I said it calmly this time, yet with a forcefulness that I hope he hears.

"You fucking slut. Did you really think that you could just run away from Nick and Neil and I'd leave you alone?"

I say nothing. I'm focusing on keeping myself composed. I need him to get out. Hes angry. He'll kill me. I know he will.

"They obviously didn't take care of you like I asked or I wouldn't be here right now." He moved towards me and I backed up. He moved again, very quickly, wrapping his hands around my arms, gripping tightly. I didn't have time to react or try to get away. Now I was only inches away from him, in a vice grip.

Stuck.

Maybe I should try to play him back? Blackmail? It could work?

I don't know what other options I have.

"What did you do to them, Max? Get them killed? Like you do everyone that doesn't listen to your every fucking word." I leaned in close and carefully pronounced every word.

"Yes, I did. They're fucking dead." He smiles. " Like you will be soon. Then I wont have to deal with any of your bullshit or worry about you as a liability to the club."

All of the air was sucked out of me. He was going to kill me, I knew it. "Too bad you're precious little boy friend isn't here to help you."

_Tyler. _ Ah! He was going to be coming in less than two hours.

I hope Max is gone by then.

I hope this is all over by then.

I can't let him get hurt.

The whole point of me lying was so that he wouldn't get hurt.

Ever.

No.

I wont let Max hurt him.

All of the fear inside me was evaporating.

I didn't need it.

Its over anyways.

What the fuck do I have to lose?

I don't really actually _have_ Tyler anymore.

So, in reality I have nothing.

No one.

"I don't fucking need him, we're done. You should know that, you've been staking me out for a while now haven't you?" If I'm going to die, I might as well fucking go out strong. I tell myself, trying to contain my emotions. Be strong. He always makes sure he knows everything about someone before he kills them. I used to see the files on his desk of the people doing their daily routines. Then bam, he comes and you're dead.

"Oh, you know me well my sweet. I'll miss that pussy of yours."

"Don't fucking talk to me. Just get it over with. Kill me." I said, catching him off guard. Its all part of my plan. He expected me to fight. The second his face registered confusion, even though it was only a split second, I twisted myself out of his grasp and ran towards the door. I tried to unlock it as quick as I could and open it.

I failed.

He grabbed one of my shoulders and threw me, I stopped when I hit the cabinet. My head crashed into the corner of it and I felt the cut. Blood started to flow down the side of my face. I let myself fall to the ground, not having the will to stand and feeling very dizzy.

"I told you, you aren't leaving." He demanded. Picking me up off the floor and hitting me across the face with his hand. I screamed.

It hurt like a son of a bitch.

I needed a new plan. Fighting back wouldn't be an option.

He outweighed me, he knew how to fight, he didn't just knock his fucking head into a sharp piece of wood.

I numbed myself.

A tactic I never realized I would have to use outside of the club.

I didn't know what else to do.

_I love you, Tyler._

_O-_-_-O_

"Mallory?" Is someone calling for me? It sounds like I'm underwater, everything is muffled.

My head is throbbing. Where am I? I think I'm in my apartment? I don't know. Fuck. Everything hurts.

No, my head is pounding. It wont stop. I feel dizzy, but I'm laying down. Its okay.

_He grabs my arms and shakes me, yelling at me. _

My ribs hurt.

Every time I breathe I feel them. My entire chest is sore.

I take deeper breath and I instantly regret it. Pain shoots through me. I don't know if I make a sound. I can't hear.

_He kicks me, over and over. My legs, my arms, my stomach._

My right arm hurts.

My left arm hurts.

My legs are sore.

Every part of me feels beaten.

Why?

My eyes are closed, I think? Or is it really dark?

I don't know.

_He thinks about fucking me. He actually mentions it, outloud. Then he realizes I'm so out of it that he lost his chance. Says he should have done that first. No one wants a bloody, beaten girl._

I don't care.

I just want to sleep.

Close my eyes, sleep.

Shut off the pain.

_He leaves, promising he'll be back to finish me off. Tells me to stay where I am, like I could move?_

"Mallory!" I hear my name being called again. Am I imagining that? I can't tell. Maybe its just me yelling my own name? "Mallory!"

"Where are you!" Stop screaming. Stop yelling. Stop. Too much. Sleep.

_He leaves me on my bedroom floor, at least I think that's where I am. My eyes won't open very much. _

I need sleep.

Dark.

My eyes feel so heavy. Maybe they are closed?

_I should call for help. Wheres my phone? Damnit, my phones missing, I don't know where I put it. _

I hear my name being called over and over again. I hear things slamming and banging. The sounds are bouncing around my head, I can't tell where they are coming from. Or what they are. They just..are.

I want them to stop.

They're annoying.

They're interrupting my sleep.

Stupid noises.

I feel myself coming out of the fog, slowly.

The sounds are getting clearer every time. _Bang._ Sounds like a door. Where is that door I wonder?

I hear thumping. Footsteps? I don't know.

_I pull myself towards a door, I'm hoping its my closet. I just want to hide. _

"Mallory, where the fuck are you?" Voices. No, just one. The voice sounds panicked.

"Mallory!" I can hear it better now. It's a man.

"Say something!" He screams. He sounds angry. "Make a fucking noise!"

I can't make any noise.

Nothing.

I don't even know if I could open my mouth.

Are my eyes open?

I don't know.

My breathing is shallow. I don't want the pain in my chest again. No pain. No.

Is that footsteps I hear?

I don't know.

It's getting closer, whatever it is, or whoever? Could it be the man that was yelling?

"What the fuck?" I hear the man.

Then theres a creaking sound, like a door opening, and light pours onto my eyes.

They were closed.

Which means I was either in the dark or someone just turned on a light?

"Oh my god." His voice is a whisper now.

I know that voice.

Tyler.

TYLER

"Oh god, baby?" What the fuck just happened? I told her I'd come over to see her in two hours. Two fucking hours.

What could happen in that short of a time period?

I walked up to her door and noticed that it looked like it had been kicked in. It was shut and all but I tried the knob and it opened. She never left her door unlocked. She was smarter than that.

Then I look around and see her things are all fucked up. There's books, papers, furniture all moved around. Out of place. I don't think its from when I left, I thought of that. This seems more, chaotic?

It's not right.

Something is just off.

I yelled for her and she said nothing. She had to be here though, she searched me out. She came to see me at work. She had to want to see me, she wouldn't ditch me.

No. Something's not right.

I walk around the apartment searching everywhere I can think of. Under tables, behind couches, everywhere. I feel like someone was in here.

I am getting more anxious by the second. I feel my pulse racing. My heart is starting to hurt.

I feel like she's been hurt or something.

I hate that feeling.

Its just too eerie in here.

Too quiet.

Who the fuck would do this?

It hits me like a fucking train.

_Max._

Fuck!

I didn't think of him.

Ever since I left her I haven't even thought about him. He could have been coming to see her ever since I left.

He could have fucking hurt her.

Done shit to her.

Fuck.

I never thought of that.

How did I never think of that?

I'm such a fucking idiot.

I was too wrapped up in my own fucking head that I didn't even think about the fact that I had kidnapped her. From two fucking douche bags.

Oh no.

_Nick and Neil._

What if they were here instead of Max?

However fucking stressed and nervous I was before, it has been amplified by a hundred. I'm tearing through things looking for her. I don't stop screaming her name. I'm beyond scared, I'm angry and the adrenaline is pumping through me.

I tore through her entire fucking apartment before I went to her bedroom. It was the last place I decided to look and I don't even fucking know why. I should have checked there first.

Something told me to look in the closet, I don't know what it was but it just told me to do it.

There she was.

Laying there, crumpled mess.

Bruised.

Fucking bruised.

She did not have those on her the last time I saw her, two hours ago.

Which means that they just happened.

I'm going to fucking kill someone.

She wasn't even moving. It wasn't until I said something that I could see her eyes move behind her eye lids. She had a huge gash in the side of her head, dried blood on the carpet beside her.

I wanted to simultaneously kill whoever did this and cure her immediately.

I wanted to help her, I wanted her to feel better.

"Mallory? Can you hear me?"

"Mmm" She hummed and tilted her head towards me.

"Can you open your eyes?" I see her try, they flutter open and shut once again. I feel tears start to pour down my face.

I love this girl so fucking much it hurts and I've just found her so bloody and broken I can't even stand myself.

How could I let this happen?

I reach under her slowly and wrap my arms around her, she whimpers and groans. I know I've probably hurt her but I need to get her out of the closet. Picking her up I bring her over to her bed and lay her down.

"I need to bring you to the hospital." I need to. She's so frail.

"No." She shakes her head and then a pained look crosses her face. It must have hurt.

"Yes, please. Let me."

"No, you can leave." She wanted me to leave? No. She just thought I wanted to leave.

I grab a wet cloth from her bathroom and clean her head the best that I can. I don't dare touch parts of her because of the bruising. I don't want to hurt her any more. I end up getting on the bed with her, laying down parallel with her body, careful not to touch her. I stare at her for a few minutes, taking in her body. It makes me sick.

I hate to admit that I can't stop crying but its killing me to see her like this. I know I need to bring her to the hospital but she wont let me.

"What happened? Can you tell me?"

"Max." She can barely get it out, I feel so bad for asking but I don't know what else to do.

I hear someone. Fuck. Is he back? I fly off the bed and stand in front of her.

My hands ball into fists.

No one will hurt her.

I'm going to make sure of it.

MALLORY

"Ah, I see we have company." I hear Max. No.

I open my eyes and see Max in the doorway of my room, Tyler hovering by my side with his back to me. He's protecting me.

Its too late.

Tyler get out. Please.

Leave.

No.

I don't have enough strength to yell or scream or anything.

"You did this!" Tyler screams and I watch as he throws himself at Max. My eyes close, I can't handle to keep them open too long. I hear thuds and slaps, knocking and fabric brushing together. Sounds of fighting. Sounds of violence. I hear grunting and swears being said under their breath.

I'm screaming inside. I want to throw myself between them.

I want to sacrifice myself for Tyler.

I don't want him to fight for me like this.

Max wont hesitate to kill him.

I open my eyes and see them standing now, Tyler is in a headlock still trying to fight his way though. I look at his face and I'm surprised. He doesn't look scared or hurt. He looks like hes calculating something, figuring it all out.

I look at Max and I'm surprised. He doesn't look confident. He looks scared. He didn't expect Tyler to fight back, I just know it. My eyes start to drift and I force them to stay open a little longer. It's the only way I feel like I'm helping. It makes no sense really but what am I supposed to do?

Tyler twists out of his reach, turns around and punches him directly in the face. He's good at that. Max falls back against the wall. My eyes close.

More sounds.

Punching.

Hitting.

Grunts.

Bodies hitting wood.

Bodies hitting the hollow of the wall.

All of a sudden the sounds get more distant.

I force my eyes open again and they're gone.

I hear them, they must have moved to the living room.

I'm pissed because I can't see them anymore.

I try to move my arms. I get the right one a few inches off the bed before it drops back down. I'm exhausted.

I need to see them. I try to push myself off the bed, using my arms.

I hear more fighting, yelling.

"You fucking asshole, what did you do to her?"

My legs hit the floor and they feel like jelly. My torso is still laying flat.

I can do this.

I have to do this.

I have to help.

"Is that all you've got? Come on don't be pussy!"

I take a deep breath and push my palms into the bedding, pushing myself up. It hurts so badly I feel myself instantly start to cry. No.

Do this, Mallory. Come on.

Slowly, I stand up.

I start shuffling myself towards the door, slowly but surely. I can do this.

I'll save Tyler.

TYLER

I see her in the doorway, hes headed straight for her. He hit me hard, things are blurry.

Why is she here? She needed to stay in the bed room.

I see his gun on his belt.

I need that.

I can kill him.

Save her.

I shake my head and pull myself up using the couch as a crutch. He's too preoccupied heading towards her, doesn't even notice me moving again. I'm only three steps away from him, from the gun.

She knows what I'm doing. She must. He gets closer to her, I get closer to him. Always a step apart. When he's close enough to touch her she lifts her hand, as if to hit him. I know that she has no power left. He knows it too.

He lets her punch him, its pathetic. Its as if he thinks that will appease her. Fuck off.

I take the chance to grab the gun, he swings around.

MALLORY

I hear the shot but I don't know who did it.

I'm on the ground, eyes closed.

My punch to Max was as strong as a two year old.

It had nothing behind it.

I'm weak.

Please let Tyler be alive.

Please don't let Max kill him.

Or me.

Please.

I open my eyes once again and theres a body lying still. Blood on the floor. Gun on the ground.

Tyler is on the ground.

Its not Tyler that got shot though.

It's Max.

Tyler shot Max.

Max is dead.

My brain is on overdrive trying to comprehend what happened.

I have no idea.

I'm lost.

Why is Tyler on the ground?

My eyes close, I feel my body shutting down.

Not in a bad way, just in a overwhelmed way.

I welcome the darkness, it overcomes me.

"Sweetheart?" I hear a voice, Tylers voice. How long have I been out?

"I got you." He whispers into my hair. His arms come around me and I feel him pick me up. Its painful but I don't complain. His body is warm against mine. I'm a shivering, shaking mess. "It's okay sweetheart, I'm here. I've got you. No ones going to hurt you anymore."

"He's gone." I try to speak, it barely comes out.

His words hit me hard. Max hurt me but in a physical way, one that I can recover from easily. He had hurt me in an emotional way, breaking my heart. He was the one I was worried that would hurt me, he was really the only one who could.

I break down. I can't hold it in any longer. Everything that has just happened is rushing back to me. I hate it all. Tears are rushing down my face, my eyes are still closed. I can't move.

He puts me down on the bed and I feel the warmth leave, cold rushing towards me.

"Are you going to leave me?" My voice sounds cracked and panicked. What if hes done saving me and now he'll leave?

"No, I wont leave you." My entire body relaxes at his words. He must have felt it because he kisses the side of my face. " I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry." I mumble, hoping he can hear me.

"Don't be sorry, its okay now. Its all taken care of. You're going to be okay."

"I love you sweetheart. " His voice is soft in my ear. "I love you so fucking much. "

"I love you too."

**A/N: Mallory & Tyler are safe. Max is gone, for good. **

**Pretty please with lemons on top review.**

***Italic sentences when Mallory is in the closet are flashbacks to what happened with Max**


	38. Chapter 38 Mallory Tyler

**A/N; Tyllory lovers, I don't know what I'd do without you. **

**Charlie, Cori, Nadi, Naby, Melmo, Stinepiigen, OhShushRobsten, Queenie, Mysty, Hockey, wtfisinnerbeauty , sparkybitchface, Kristewlove, SpunkRansom and my favorite RK site; StrictlyRobsten . You have all helped me insanely with this fic and I appreciate it more than you know. **

**Mallory**

"No!" I screamed. Why was I screaming? Everything hurt so fucking badly. My entire body felt like a truck had run it over. It felt like knives we're stabbing my chest. I wasn't even sure I could feel my legs. I couldn't see, but maybe my eyes weren't open.

Max.

That's the last thing I remember.

Him throwing me against a wall.

"Get away from me!" Again, I hear my voice but I'm not sure why.

Tyler? Where was he? I hope Max didn't hurt him.

Please, no.

I feel someone wrap their hands around my arms and start to move me. Someone is trying to touch me.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed again. "Let go!" They let go.

I was trying to move away from them but my body wouldn't cooperate. I tried to kick my legs but it felt like they were being pulled down.

"Baby, its okay they're going to help you." I heard an angel voice. It was soft and sweet and right next to me. I wanted to open my eyes and look to see the angel. I couldn't. It sounds so familiar but I can't place it.

The only thing my brain is registering is panic.

I could hear myself screaming at everything and nothing. I wasn't even making coherent sentences, I was just screaming. I'm scared out of my fucking mind. I don't know where Max is, I don't know how Tyler is doing. I don't know anything.

"Tyler! No!" My voice is raspy and harsh. It hurts my throat but I can't stop. I need to know where he is, if he is okay. What if Max got to him?

"Where is he? Don't touch him!" My voice cracks as I yell.

"I'm right here sweetheart, I'm right here." The angel is Tyler, that was his voice. Its right in my ear, soft and soothing. I feel his breath against my cheek, his hand grabs onto mine as they flail around.

My eyes flash open and I see florescent lights. They burn my eyes. I close them quickly.

Where the fuck am I?

I don't like this.

Why is Tyler here?

I hear movement.

"Can I just have a few minutes before you do that?"

"Mr. Hawkins, with all due respect we really should get her-"

"Please, just two minutes."

"Alright, two."

Take her? Are they talking about me? Where are they taking me? Who are they? I don't like this. Tyler shouldn't let them take me. No. I won't go. Not without him.

Where's Max?

"Calm down, baby. You're going to be okay they're trying to help you." His voice is right in my ear. His warm body is closer to mine, I can feel it.

"Where am I?" I whisper back, keeping my eyes closed.

"The hospital." No, I don't like it here. Its bad here. Max always told us not to come here. They can figure out what I am, they can turn me into the police. I don't do that anymore though and Tyler wants me here, right?

So I should be okay?

Oh no!

Max told me not to leave the apartment. He told me to stay there. I was supposed to stay there. He would come and kill me. I had prepared myself for that. Tyler wasn't supposed to be involved. He would be safe.

**Tyler**

"No! I'm not supposed to be here." She panicked, her eyes open and flicker around at everything but me.

"Why not?" I questioned her, I wanted to comfort her but I didn't know what was bothering her.

"He told me not to leave, he told me. He'll come after us, he'll kill you."

"Max?"

"Yes! You have to bring me back, please, now! Bring me back!" She didn't remember. The doctors had prepared me for this on the way here. They had said there were a bunch of things that could occur because of the injuries she seemed to sustain and the emotional trauma she experienced.

"He's gone, love. He's not coming back."

"No, you're wrong. He's not gone. I promise. He's coming back!" I had never seen such fear in her eyes. I didn't know how to sugar coat my next words, so I didn't.

"Mallory, he's dead. I killed Max." I'm trying to say this calmly and its not working. I want to just shake her and tell her. I want her to know its done. I haven't even let myself come to terms with it all.

"No, hes coming to get you." She responded without even letting me finish. Confusion flashed in her eyes. She must be thinking about what I said.

"I killed him. I shot him. I promise you, he's gone. He can't hurt you anymore."

"He's gone?" Her eyes finally land on mine..

"He's not coming back." I paused. She really had no idea what had happened. "You don't remember any of it?"

"What? No." Her eyes were wide and frantic. I hated this.

"What do you remember?"

"He knocked the door down, I fell. He hit me, threw me around. I couldn't fight back, Tyler. I'm sorry, I couldn't. He was too strong." Tears filled her eyes and spilled over onto her cheeks. "I hit my head on my cabinet."

She stopped and stared at the ceiling, I could see her eyes searching. She was trying to piece together what had happened.

"I don't remember what happened after that but I do remember his voice telling me to stay there. Or something? I didn't want you to come, I didn't want you to get hurt."

"I'm okay. You saved me."

"What?" Those piercing green eyes that I love so much were coming back to me. The lost feeling was still there but I could see the green flowing back.

"You saved me, Mallory." I rubbed my thumb against her cheek and she leaned into my hand.

"Mr. Hawkins?" I hear the doctor from the door.

"Just please, one more minute?"

"Yes, fine." He seems slightly agitated with me. Whatever.

"What is happening?" I don't have enough time to tell her everything I need to. The doctors want to take her in for tests. I feel bad sending her with them without telling her what is happening. It makes me feel like I'm abandoning her in her time of need or something.

I was prepared for this though. They told me there was a chance that she'd forget everything that happened. They said it would be her body and mind's way of dealing with the situation. It was her own way of keeping herself safe.

I couldn't go out and explain all of that to her without her being even more confused so I decided to just shorten it as much as I could. "They're very nice doctors and nurses, they think you have a concussion and they want to take you in for tests. They just want to make sure everything is okay."

I looked her right in the eyes as I spoke, putting my hands on either side of her face. "Don't fight them, please. Do this for me."

"Okay." She hesitated but agreed. _Thank you._ I know it was because she trusts me, not them. " You're staying though, right?"

"I'm not going to leave you."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise. If they allow me to go with you I will, if not I will be right here for you when you get back."

"Hello Sweetie!" A nurse walked right beside her bed and started checking her vitals and all the other shit that beeped. I had no idea what it was. The only thing I had cared about was the heart monitor.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. _ The constant noise kept me sane. I knew she was okay. I knew it had all been worth it.

"Hello." Mallory's voice was skeptical as she eyed the nurse and then looked back at me. I don't know if she had ever been to a hospital, probably not. I couldn't see her affording it. Though even if she could I can't picture her feeling the need.

"We're going to do some tests, see how everything is doing, alright?" The nurse was perky and happy.

"Sure." I was trying to convey with my eyes that this was okay, she needed this. I needed to make sure that everything was one hundred percent inside that little body of hers.

As they pulled her out of the room I started shaking. I was finally letting myself think about what had just happened. This was all real.

At least she's safe now.

**Mallory**

I hated the hospital so much. I didn't like how it smelled, I hated medicine. I didn't mind the doctors because I rarely saw them but I didn't like how many times the nurses came in. It bothered me. Get out. I just wanted to scream at them. The only thing getting me through all of this was Tyler. He has been sleeping next to me all week. He hasn't left my side. He wont let them talk him out of staying either, which is very comforting. They will want him to leave when they want to take blood or change my sheets or something minimal and he won't. He refuses.

How did I not know I loved him before?

I miss him. I look over at him laying on a cot that he has beside my bed.

"Tyler?" I whispered.

"Yes?" he whispered back but didn't open his eyes. I didn't know what time it was but it was dark outside. Now I felt bad for waking him up.

"Did I wake you up?"

"No." He kept his eyes closed. I definitely had.

"Go back to sleep, I didn't mean to. "

"Its okay." He paused. "I needed to get out of my dream. "

"What was your dream about?"

"Finding you. You really scared me that day." He mumbled it into his pillow, probably so I couldn't hear. He didn't like talking about all of it very much but I know he did it for my benefit. He wanted me to know everything that had happened even though I could only remember brief details. When he talked though, it would bring some of them back.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, its not your fault." He was so sincere. It was my fault though, it all was.

"Yes it is."

"Mallory, stop. It's not."

"But Max-"

"No, stop. If I wouldn't have been there who knows what would have happened."

"I would be dead right now." He flinched at my words and I felt bad. I wasn't afraid to say them though, I had accepted it then.

"I fucking hate even thinking about that."

"I know I'm sorry, its just true."

"When you dropped to the floor and I shot him, that was the scariest fucking point of my entire life. I wasn't even thinking and I had grabbed the gun and shot and it all just went so fast. I see you lying there and you don't even know how worried I was. I thought the bullet went through him and into you."

His hands tangled through his hair, making it stand up even more. His voice was strained and tears sprung up into his eyes. " For a split second I was convinced I had shot you too."

"What?" He thought that? My heart hurt just thinking about it, I hated that he had thought that for even a second. "I saw you on the floor too though, I thought you had been shot."

"You thought I got shot?"

"Yes, I didn't know what happened."

"No I killed him pretty damn quickly. He didn't have the time to think about stopping me." He closed his eyes for a few moments before opening them again. " I was on the floor because I had just killed a man and thought I had hurt you and that millisecond destroyed me. I thought I lost everything, again."

I wanted to crawl forward on the bed and kiss him and hug him but they fucking had me hooked up to shit and in stupid braces for my ankle and wrist. I moved my hands forward, trying to signal him to come to me.

"Tyler, you didn't lose everything. I'm here. I love you." He looked up at me and a few tears fell from his eyes, I hated seeing him like this. I also hated being restricted.

"Thank you." He mumbled and sat leaned his body into me as he hugged me tight.

_**One Month Later**_

**Tyler**

She was in the hospital for three weeks recovering.

Sal gave me time off work.

I never left her side.

I hated those weeks.

Watching her lay there, broken and hurt.

They said she broke a rib, sprained her ankle and wrist very badly. They said its close enough to a break that it needs at least braces. She had a concussion, it wasn't too severe. Her memory loss was due to stress. She had very intense bruising all over. Though, they said it could have been worse.

They said that like I didn't know. Like I wasn't aware of what Max was capable of.

I didn't even want to imagine worse.

Apparently the only reason they wanted to keep her was to keep an eye on her. It wasn't just physical hurt but emotional as well and her body just couldn't function. Her body couldn't handle all that it had been though and sleeping helped. Her memory loss ended up being a good thing. I wouldn't have wanted her to wake up in the hospital that day and remember everything. She had panicked enough.

Hearing her scream and panic as she woke up to being in the hospital was heartbreaking. I felt like I was hurting her but all I was trying to do was help. I had no other options. Then seeing how badly he had hurt her. It killed me.

I didn't want her to be in pain.

The thought of that bothered me.

I stayed with her as much as I could. Unless they needed to take her somewhere guests weren't allowed I never left her side. She had asked me to and I wasn't about to go back on my word.

I slept on a makeshift bed beside her.

She'd wake up and then fall back asleep. A never ending process of more sleeping hours than awake ones.

I keep having nightmares about that day. I hate them. They terrorize my sleep and she always wants to know about them. I don't want to tell her but I always end up doing it anyways. I can't lie to her.

She kept worrying about me, especially as the memories came back to her. She would ask me every day little bits and pieces of what actually occurred. I would tell her, careful to not send her back into panic mode. I could see the recognition in her eyes as I spoke, it was coming back to her. Slowly but surely. By the end of the second week she had remembered it all.

That's when she started questioning me more and more about myself.

My injuries weren't as extreme.

Easily taken care of.

I had been in fights before, it was nothing to me. Bumps, bruises, a few scrapes.

Even if Max had gotten in a few good hits before I killed him.

I don't regret it.

The police questioned me for hours, putting all the pieces of the incident together.

At first I thought I was going to jail.

I mean, I killed someone. When you kill someone, you go to jail. Though this seemed to be a different scary because I was defending myself and Mallory.

None of that mattered though once my father found out and showed up.

Where he came from I don't know. I didn't even know how he knew what had happened, I guess the news of Max dying traveled fast. Max had a reputation in this city that surpassed the range I had thought.

Still, I didn't want him there, I told him that many times.

I wanted him out. Oh course though, Charles wouldn't leave.

After talking to him briefly about what happened and having him say that he would 'take care of it' I just let him do what he wanted. There was no way that I could convince him otherwise.

I knew he had other motives though.

He was there for himself more than he was for me. He didn't want the news to get out that this powerful lawyers son had killed a man and was in jail. That wasn't good for business. What client wanted to know that a lawyer couldn't even get his own son out of a fucking self-defense motivated murder trial. So he would work hard for me even if he thought I did it without a motivation. He was putting aside his hate for me so that I wouldn't go to jail. He didn't want them to fuck with me or whatever. They didn't though. They had been trying to find a way to catch Max doing anything illegal for years. They knew he was bad and that he had been trapping women, dealing drugs or whatever the fuck else they just couldn't catch him.

I'm pretty sure Charles used that against them, saying that I had helped them get rid of a criminal and that they should be grateful. He's powerful enough that they seemed to believe it. I also think he might have blackmailed them but I can't be sure.

We're on slightly better terms now, after that whole ordeal. I mean, we don't talk everyday or anything but I have more respect for him now. If I had gone to jail I couldn't have been with Mallory. I need to be with her.

We've been living in my apartment for the past week. Aiden didn't mind at all that we'd be coming to live with him. When she got out of the hospital I could see the fear in her eyes for going back to hers. I couldn't do that to her. The last time she had been there she had almost died, and she had thought I died. It killed me when she said that to me. She told me that when she tried to distract Max away from me things began to get blurry. She told me that she didn't know who the gunshot had hit at first. She even thought it could be her, but she saw me lying on the ground and for a moment in time she thought it had been me. That killed me. The look in her eyes as she said it told me everything I needed to know, she didn't want to lose me. I never wanted to lose her.

"Sweetheart, how are you feeling?" I ask, walking into my room. She's curled up in the blankets where she's been since I brought her here.

"I'm feeling better." I hand her a coffee as she sits up in bed.

"Would you want me to bring you some breakfast?" Sitting down beside her on the bed, she leans into me.

"Yes please."

"Alright what would you like?" I put my coffee down on the nightstand and she does the same.

"You." She smiled as she spoke. I traced my fingers down her face and she closed her eyes.

"You already have me." I whispered. "I'm looking to make your tummy happy."

Instead of answering me she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me toward her, our lips brushing together. I pulled away before she could deepen it.

"You know we're not supposed to do any of that until you're better." Instead of answering me she pouted and pulled me in again, pushing her lips against mine.

"Who cares." She mumbles as she swipes her tongue across my lips eliciting a moan from me. "Please?"

I couldn't help but give into her. I would do anything for her and she knew that.

I move myself onto the bed and lightly lay between her legs. I am so careful with her because I don't want to hurt her. Her injuries could still be tender or on the mend and I don't want to cause her any pain. She's only in one of my white shirts and a thong. Its too tempting. She must have known this.

Her arms lock me into place as her legs tighten around my torso. I kiss her again, already intoxicated by her mouth. I want more. I always do. This is usually where I've been stopping her, making her lie down while I get up and do something, anything to get my mind off of her. This time though, I can't get away. I don't want to. I've missed her, I've missed this.

I kiss her lips, taking over the top one and sucking lightly. I slide my hands up her legs and into the curve of her waist. Pulling my hands back down her body I do this motion again but this time I take her shirt with my hands on their way up and pull it off, leaving her only in her yellow thong. Its pale and lacey and makes me want to lick her.

"Yellow looks beautiful on you." I whisper in her ear as I drag my finger across the top of them, right above her pussy.

Instead of a response all I hear is her breathing become heavier.

My lips move to hers and my tongue slips inside her mouth, lightly teasing and flicking. I feel her hands pull my hair and her mouth press harder against mine. Trailing my fingers around the lace I bring them down to her pussy and start rubbing back and forth, up and down. She pushes against my hand, trying to get me to give her more. I slide one finger behind the yellow fabric and into her. A moan escapes her lips and I smother it with my mouth.

"Fuck me, Tyler." She bites her lip and squirms around beneath me. "Please."

I keep my movements slow, as much as I want to be rough with her I can't right now. She's still fragile whether she realizes it or not. I lift myself up and pull off the yellow thong and drop it on the bed, my shirt, pants and boxers follow.

I pause as I'm ready to lay back down on top of her and stare at her body. She's still so tiny and soft. Her skin is so pale its almost translucent. The bruising has disappeared making the incident seem years away. I bring my body down on top of hers, the feeling of her skin against mine is wonderful. My dick is hard and pressed against her wetness, but not inside. I kiss her again, swiping my tongue across her bottom lip and sucking on it. She wraps her legs around my hips, pulling herself closer to me, rubbing herself against me. Its making the urge to slide inside her even stronger.

I push my hips down into her, grinding against her before pulling away and positioning myself at her entrance. My eyes find hers as I push inside. She's tighter than ever, its been so long since we've been like this. Moving down to put my elbows on either side of her head I kiss her forehead and nose before going back to her lips. I start moving in and out slow and steady. Her mouth falls open further with every thrust.

"More." She mumbles.

"No, we're going slow baby. I don't want to hurt you. Take it all in, focus on the feeling." Her eyes close at my words and I see and feel her body relax. She's giving into the feelings, letting go.

Leaning down I lick and suck on her nipples as I continuously slide in and out of her. Her noises get louder as I continue. I love making her lose control. I suck harder and nibble, she gasps. I feel her body tense up . She's close. She feels so fucking amazing wrapped around my dick. I take one hand and massage one nipple as I flick the other with my tongue and I feel her come apart. My name falls from her lips along with fuck's and moans. I never stop pushing inside of her. I know that I'm close, I want to come with her. Before she can come down from her orgasm, I find my release, tipping her over the edge again.

I wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me. I haven't pulled out of her and I don't want to yet, I enjoy the connection. It's the closest we've felt in a while. Not being able to be like this with her was really hard. It's the one thing we've always had that we never fought about, we were always compatible and we just fit.

"I love you, Tyler." Her arms tighten around me as she speaks.

"I love you too."

**A/N As far as I know, one more chapter and an outtake. **

**Please check out the Twilight Truly Anonymous One Shot fanfic contest! Ficcontest(dot)info …I have a fic in the competition, it's a collab with Charlie! I can't tell you which one because its anon but definitely check it out there are some amazing fics in there!**


	39. Chapter 39 Tyler Mallory

**A/N: This is how I've always seen this fic ending, I hope you love it as much as me.**

**ONE WEEK LATER**

**Tyler**

"Hey Tyler?" I hear Aiden coming towards the kitchen. I'm making sandwiches for me and Mallory for lunch. We never go out anymore.

She isn't in the right condition to do anything, at least I don't think so.

It might just be that I'm very protective of her. I feel like she's still so fragile and I don't want something to break her.

There have been times that she tells me she wants to go out for a walk but it never gets very far. By the time we get all ready to go she's tired or has a flashback and can't handle it. I always end up holding her as she goes back to bed.

Out of everything that we've had to deal with though, the flashbacks are the worst.

They are what is killing me. They are so unpredictable I never know what will trigger them. Sometimes if she's around a doorway she'll start screaming. If a door closes loudly then she's on the floor crying. If I am laying with her in bed and she wakes up, sometimes she'll just curl into a ball and cry. She says she doesn't know how to fix it. She feels horrible. I hate that because its not her fault. I always tell her its not her fault. She can't help what's happening to her. Its memories in her mind that she can't avoid.

I really wish the memories didn't have to come back. I wish she wouldn't have asked me questions and I could have just kept her brain blocked. Knowing all of what occurred is making this entire situation worse. She keeps thinking of ways she could have prevented it, or done something differently. Its not time for that though, its over and done with. There's no going back. So the only option that I can think of is to be careful with her.

I never leave her for very long. I've been back at work this week but I only do 4 hour shifts at a time, Sal has helped a lot with that. He knows that after that amount of time I'm not even focusing on anything but getting back to her anyways. I call her once every hour and text her every ten minutes. It might seem over kill to some people but I don't think it is for us. We've been to hell and back, I'm not going there again. I have to keep in contact with her no matter what. I make sure that Aiden will be around for part of the time that I am gone and that he keeps an eye on her. I have our neighbor doing the same.

I am so fucking scared for her and I hate it. I know she hates being alone but at the same time knows that we need some way to make money to have a place to live. I can't support her by sitting on the bed next to her, no matter how much that's what I want to do.

"Yeah what's up?"I ask as I grab two bottles of water out of the fridge.

"I uh, I have some, I have two girls coming over tonight."

"Working more than one now?"

"Apparently they like to bring friends, I'm not complaining." Aiden is still confused on me and Mallory's relationship. He can't figure out how either of us can put up with each other for such a long period of time. He also doesn't understand how the sex doesn't get boring. I always just answer him with _it doesn't, I swear. _He still doesn't believe me.

"You want us out."

"What?" His mock surprise gives him away.

"You want us out, that's why you're telling me this right now." I'm not stupid, he wants to fuck and he doesn't want his roommate here with his girlfriend.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry man, I hate to do that to you."

"Its alright, I get it. I'll just uh- bring her somewhere." I couldn't think of where. She was obviously still not fully recovered from Max and I wasn't about to bring her anywhere that would remind her of him or the club or any of that.

"No, I'm sorry. I can reschedule or do something." He sounded sincere, like he would really do that for us. Thing is, he didn't need to. I know that we needed to move that next step forward. I know that I need to push her and make her do things she might not want to if it's for her own good. I need to be supportive and help her through this in any way that I can possibly think of.

"Don't. It's okay. We need to figure something out anyways. I can't keep her locked in here forever." I took a deep breath, trying to collect my thoughts. "I'm trying to protect her from things I can't. I don't want to be the controlling boyfriend and suffocate her away from me. I want to keep her."

"I will never understand how you can stay with one girl. Suffocating and controlling is bad though, I always hate when girls get like that."

"How could a girl get like that with you, you're never with her for more than 12 hours."

"Trust me, it can happen. Just don't fuck it up with Mal, she's good for you."

"I don't want to lose her."

"Its funny, you both piss each other off so much and yet I see the way you look at her, the way she looks at you, it's like watching porn or something. You guys eye fuck on a regular basis and without even touching I feel like I should look away."

"You just compared looking at us to porn?"

"What?"

"I don't even know what to do with you." I walked away from him, grabbing the sandwiches and drinks. It's Aiden. There is no other explanations for the things that come out of his mouth and the things he does.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I walked into our room. I placed the food on my dresser as I saw her face. Bad. She must have had a flashback while I was in the kitchen, I've only been gone a few minutes.

"Alright." Her voice cracked.

"What's wrong?" She's been crying, I can tell.

**Mallory**

"I didn't think you'd ever forgive me." I mumbled. All of a sudden I'm incredibly depressed and I can't get out of it. I fucking hate these triggers. I never know what they are or when they will happen but all of a sudden I will just snap. I can't stand it.

I wish I could just figure out how to stop them.

I get the obvious ones like doors and walls, sharp corners but it's the ones that make no sense that are freaking me out. I'll see a book on a desk and I'm immediately in tears. What the fuck? I hate it.

The funny thing about this flashback is that it hasn't happened to me yet.

This one was me before Max came to find me. When Tyler still hated me. When he wouldn't talk to me or return my phone calls. When we were broken up and fighting. When I was alone in my apartment, I hadn't cleaned it from Tyler's departure and I would sleep in the bathroom. Thinking about having to pee triggered it. What the fuck is that? I'm so messed up.

So now I'm crying on my bed, waiting for Tyler to come back with lunch while having to pee but being scared to go into the bathroom. Scared to go to the damn bathroom. Who am I? Plus, I hate crying, I hate being that girl. I hate being helpless. I hate how I can't be the person I want to be for Tyler.

I want to be the girl he deserves, not the one he has to babysit.

I see his eyes look me over, take in my emotional state. He knows I've been crying. I can see in his eyes that he feels like its his fault, like he should be able to fix me.

I don't want him to sugar coat this conversation though, I fucking hate when he does that. I know he does it for my benefit and that I'm in a bad place right now but I don't want him to treat me differently than he would before. "Don't lie to me either, you were furious."

I'm trying to stay strong and not cry anymore, I can have a conversation with him without crying.

"I know." He paused. "I didn't think I would forgive you either. When you left me at the restaurant I couldn't stop thinking about you though. I knew right then and there that I'd forgive you. "

'Really?"

"Yeah."

"But you ignored me, all my phone calls and messages. You didn't even respond to my letter."

"I couldn't. I didn't know how I felt about, well, anything. I was lost and I couldn't trust myself to talk to you because I knew the moment that I did I would come back to you. Immediately. Without question. I couldn't let myself do that when I had just found out all the lying you had done."

"I know, I fucked up."

"Mal-"

"Don't."

"Okay, fine. You did, I mean, I hate to say that but you did. I was right there, I would do anything for you and you know that. I had just fucking told you I loved you." I could see the pain in his eyes. I knew he didn't want to talk about this but I needed to. I needed to know these things. We had avoided talking about it a couple times. I couldn't do that anymore.

"When you told me that, I was so scared. So fucking scared you have no idea. I know you knew I was because you held me there. I didn't know what to do. " I sat up in bed and faced him. " I wanted to run but not away from you. Just, I couldn't deal with it. I wish I could have told you then that I loved you, instead of when I did."

"Yeah, me too." His eyes avoided mine at the mention of when I had told him that I loved him. "I hated you in that moment, so much. I was only seeing red and I couldn't get off it no matter how much I tried telling myself to just listen to you. I felt like you had just killed me right then and there. You told me you loved me as I packed to leave. "

"It didn't hit me until that moment."

"I know but I needed it to hit you before that. There was too much that day, too much."

"I know, I should have told you about Max. I should have told you about all that stuff. " I know I should have and I will always admit that now. Now that I can look back and see that we both could have died. I'm fucking stupid.

Hindsight is twenty twenty.

"You should have told me you were in danger." He looked at me when he spoke and it made me want to cry again. I hadn't told him I was in danger and I knew why.

"I didn't give a fuck." I stated without emotion. "Once you were packing to leave and I realized there was nothing I could do, I gave up."

"You really scared me."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, its not your fault. I don't want to fight with you, or whatever this is we're doing. I hate it. I don't like reminiscing about the past when we should be looking towards the future."

"But it is my fault." It was, why couldn't he see that?

"Mallory, stop. It's not. It's a lot of fucked up things that occurred all at once. Its done and over with."

"Tyler, so many bad things have happened to you because of me, don't you see that?"

"Of course I see that but its not all I see." "I see all the good you've brought me. You made me feel alive again. I was basically the walking dead when you first met me. Don't you remember? I couldn't even focus on you for more than a few minutes without drifting inside my own thoughts. I couldn't kiss you without fucking it up because of a picture on my nightstand."

Those hands of his ran through his hair repeatedly. " I was such a fucking little bitch. Why did you even stay? Do you remember that?"

"Of course I remember." How could I forget? That was the night my entire world shifted as well. I could feel my emotions mingling inside me. I'm frustrated and angry with myself because of how much I messed up. I'm thinking of silly memories of meeting Tyler and how my life has changed since him. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster and I can't get off. He's too nice to me. He thinks I've helped him and that's not true. He was always a good person, a kind soul. He always was meant for more. I'm not.

"You opened my eyes up to a life I didn't know could still exist for me, you have to realize that. The night I went to see you at the club, I was so fucking ecstatic that I had found you. You have no idea. I didn't care what you wanted from me, I would have given it to you. I mean I paid two hundred and fifty dollars to talk to you. I had no idea it would turn into anything more. "

"I just can't forgive myself for lying to you like I did." If I can't forgive myself, how can he?

"Well, you should because I have forgiven you." He's forgiven me? For everything? No, that's not possible. "You still look skeptical but I'm completely sincere. I have forgiven you for everything that occurred. Please, trust me on that."

My emotions are going haywire. I'm everything combined into one. Angry. Frustrated. Confused. Reminiscent. Thankful. Sorry. In love.

"No, you haven't." Do I believe him?

"Yes. I have." He's forgiven me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I never thought he would forgive me or that we would be able to move past this. I don't know why but I thought he'd have a hard time letting it all go. Maybe I'm the one who is having the hard time though. I need to learn to let go and move forward, just like he said. I'm stuck in the past, I'm stuck in my mistakes.

If I cant move forward with myself then there's no way I can with him.

I leaned up and kissed him hard on the lips, bringing my arms around his neck to keep him close to me. I wouldn't let go of him and kept the kiss going as it grew deeper and our tongues twisted together. I pulled away first and rested my forehead against his.

"Let's just get out of here." He whispered and I froze.

"What?" The thought of leaving the safety of the apartment seemed nice sometimes but most of the time scared me.

"Let's leave. Get out of Manhattan and go somewhere." What is he saying?

"Like a vacation?"

"No, lets move." Move. Move away.

"Are you serious?" I don't know how I feel about this, I'm not opposed but I never thought about it either. Does he want a decision from me right now?

"Yes, I have never been more serious in my entire life."

"Just leave the city?"

"Yes."

"What about your job?"

"I'll get a new one."

"Your parents?"

"Its not like I see them a lot now anyways. These past weeks have been an exception."

"Yes but you've been a lot closer to them, you want to leave right when things seem to be getting better?"

"Mallory, sweetheart they're better. We're both pretty fucked up, this place doesn't help. We need to get away." His fingers traced the side of my face, making my eyes flutter shut.

**Tyler**

"So we're going to move?" She asks as she takes a deep breath and opens her eyes. Yes, she will move with me. Right? That's what she means?

I don't see why we shouldn't. It's perfect. I should have done this the moment she got out of the hospital. Please, let her think this is a good idea. I need to convince her.

"Yes, I think that it's the best thing that we could do." I bring my hands up into my hair and pull. I'm nervous. I need her to come with me. "Only if you want to go with me though."

She looked at me and I tried to read her thoughts in her expression but she was giving nothing away.

"Look, I'm not going without you. I refuse to do anything without you from now on. If you want to stay in the city then we will stay. We'll figure something out. If you want to leave then lets go." Its true. If she doesn't want to leave, then we wont. I will stay with her and figure all of this out. If she wants to leave though, which I hope she does, then I want to just get out of here. I want to start fresh.

"Why do you want to leave?"

"I feel like the city is suffocating us. We haven't had a chance to grow or be anything but what we were. I think if we leave we can get past all this bull shit. I can get away from my nightmares, you from the club and flashbacks. We can move forward. We can have the normal relationship without the drama of the city, we can watch the cooking channel all day and night. I don't care, I just want to be with you."

"You won't leave me?"

"Never." I looked directly into her green eyes as I spoke. They had lost the tears that hung in them when I came into the room, now they were full and bright. She looked scared and excited. It seemed like it was hours before she responded, though It was probably only a minute.

"Okay, lets do it then."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, of course. Let's get out of here."

"You'll really run away with me?" I can barely contain myself. She's going to leave with me. This is actually happening.

"If I'm going to run away now, it will only be with you."

"Oh, I love you." I cup my hands around her face.

"I love you too." She barely has time to respond before I press my lips to hers.

**A/N ; Reviews are better than moving away with Tyler. Okay, maybe not..**

For those of you who loved what I did with the end; yay! I'm so happy you loved it.

For those of you who do not like how I ended this; I'm sorry but I love it. I ended this the way I felt best and what I would have wanted to read.

I really wanted to make a list to say thank you to each and every one of you who has read this fic, reviewed it or sent me love in another place. The problem was that every time I tried to make a list of all of you I would feel like I was missing someone and I just couldn't bring myself to post it and forget someone. So instead of that I will say; Thank you. From the bottom of my heart I thank you for taking the time to read this story and I hope that you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Thank you for sticking with me through my awkward update schedule (that I didn't really have). Thank you for forgiving my plot holes and craziness. I love each and every one of you.

Goodbye for now my Tyllory lovers. I will be back in this IAOY Tyllory world sooner than you think with a sequel that will be out in a couple months called **Souls Misunderstood.**

**Souls Misunderstood; ****Its been five years since Mallory & Tyler moved away from New York City. They both have new jobs, Tyler has gone back to school. He has opened up to his parents and finally formed a relationship with them. One trip back to New York City to see them couldn't be a bad thing, right?**

It's All On You fanfic written by; BellaClary  
><em>And their eyes were on a double string and their hands lay softly on the street now<em>_  
><em>_And I do believe that honestly that I know this is where I want to be right now__  
><em>_There are pictures in her eyes, they're a thread up for the skies__  
><em>_So I wait__  
><em>_Now with our souls misunderstood__  
><em>_And our minds they saw a map of a way__  
><em>_For how long.__  
><em>_For how long, how long must you take.__  
><em>_I was set for that mistake but you moved.__  
><em>_And when there was nothing then that I couldn't take__  
><em>_Its all on you, darlin'__  
><em>_You took me when my eyes were turned__  
><em>_Its all on you, baby__  
><em>_You turned your back when I tried to learn__  
><em>_Still I cannot lift my eyes__  
><em>_If your hands are turning mine__  
><em>_But you dared not__  
><em>_What you said our souls could contain__  
><em>_They could contain__  
><em>_But now I'm gone__  
><em>_With a broken twisted soul in mind__  
><em>_But for how long?__  
><em>_Cause I've wasted this train of youth all on you, all on you__  
><em>_Its all on you_


	40. Chapter 40 Outtake Tyler Mallory

**A/N: Here's the last chapter that will be posted in IAOY. It's an outtake lemon that I had actually thought of doing but then changed my mind. The chapter it would have been in ended up going a completely different way. This lemon then was lost inside my head until Melmo2632 from Strictly Robsten and Corinnakt reminded me of it! Thank you girls, love you! Also thank you to Njsilla.**

**This outtake continues on from where Chapter 23 left off, you don't need to read that chapter before this but you can if you want.**

**Soundtrack for this outtake: Born to Die; Lana Del Ray & Silvia; Miike Snow**

**TYLER**

"I don't care how old you are." I say to her as I pull her into my lap. "Okay, that's not completely true but at least you're legal. I can handle that."

"I didn't mean to lie to you. I didn't. I swear." She sounded so scared right now, I hated it. I wanted to just squeeze her against me and tell her I love her. Tell her that everything is going to be okay.

I shift her so that she is straddling me on the bench. She has her hands twisted together against my chest; her back is arched so that she can lay her forehead against my shoulder. I just want to be able to see her face, read her eyes, but I don't want to upset her either. I wrap my arms around her waist, keeping her close to me.

"Baby, will you please look at me." I don't understand why she left.

I mean yes, she lied to me.

Yes, I hate that.

Yes, I wish she would have told me before but she didn't.

I just need her to realize that I don't care. She's mine and I love her.

"I just, don't hate me. Please don't hate me." She whispered into my neck.

"Mallory," I whisper into her ear. I hear her take a deep breath before lifting her head slowly to face me.

Tears are welled up in her eyes and I know that she's only seconds away from crying. I don't want her to cry, I want her to be happy. We were doing so well right before she ran away. I really felt like I was getting somewhere with all of this.

"I don't hate you. Trust me." I unwrap my arms from her waist and cup her face with my hands. "A few years between us isn't going to scare me away."

I see a tear fall down her face and without thinking I lean forward and kiss it off. The saltiness coats my lips. I continue to kiss around her cheeks, nose and forehead. When I reach her lips I move my hands into her hair, pulling her face closer to mine.

I crush my lips to hers feeling their warmth. I cover her mouth with mine.

"Come with me." I grab her hand and guide her down the path and towards a wooded area.

"Where are we going?" There aren't that many people in the park now that it's dark. The lights are making it a shadowy place. I don't care though because I want her and I'm going to get her any way I can.

"Shhhh, just come with me." I need her right now.

As I move into the grass and off the path I hear her breathing hitches. She's figured out what we're doing and she's not fighting me. I don't stop walking when we get inside a grouping of trees. I am trying to move as far into the darkness as I can so that the chances of someone finding us are smaller. I can hear people talking and cars' driving through the park but it's all muffled.

We're about twenty feet into the trees when I stop and push her back against one. It's so dark that I can barely see her, except the soft glow of her skin in the moon light. She gasps as I press my body against her, tipping her face upward to look into her eyes. Her green eyes are shiny emeralds from crying but the sadness that flooded her eyes only minutes ago has vanished only to be replaced with desire.

"You are mine." I growl before pushing my lips against hers, licking and nipping until she allows my tongue inside. She keeps up with me, moving her lips with mine and sliding her tongue into my mouth.

I push her harder against the tree, putting my hands on either side of her head to keep her trapped. I feel her hands scratching down my chest, her nails digging in. Digging my hands into the bark of the tree I push my hard dick against her stomach. She moans and I kiss her harder, pushing my tongue against hers.

Her hands travel up my chest and around my neck, pulling at my hair. Tracing my hands down the side of her body I palm her ass with both hands and lift her up, pushing my hardness against her center eliciting another moan to fall from her lips.

She wraps her legs around my hips, grinding herself against me. I try to muffle her moans with my mouth as I continue to kiss her. If we weren't hidden right now people would be getting quite the show.

I hear a branch snap and I immediately pull away from her, my eyes fly open and I search the shadows around us. All I can hear is her heavy breathing and my heartbeat pounding.

"What?" She whispers breathlessly, my body still pressing her into the tree.

"I thought I heard something."

"We're in the middle of the park, did you forget that?" Her voice is taunting and playful. I silence her by running my tongue along her bottom lip.

Slowly I lower her down to place her feet on the ground, she looked at me with confusion on her face until I started unbuttoning her pants.

"I want these off." I demand as I pull them down her legs, taking her panties with them. I kneeled on the ground, her pussy at eye level with me. I look up at her and see her wide eyes; they scatter from me to the shadows. Neither of us has forgotten that we're in the middle of the park, easily found by anyone curious enough.

"You have to be quiet." I whisper before leaning my head down only inches away from her skin and softly blow on her knee, making my way up towards her pussy. She shivers when I get close.

I stop and start again, on the other side. More shivers. Moving my hands from her pants to her ankles I drag them up slowly, while continuing to blow hot air all over her hips.

"What do you want?" I ask as I kiss her hip bone, my hands ghosting over her thighs. "Do you want me to lick you?"

I hear her whimper as I continue to blow around her skin. "Do you want me to run my tongue up and down your pussy until you want to scream?"

"Yes." She breathes out.

"Good. I want to hear you, I want people to hear how I make you feel, hear you scream my name. I want everyone in the park to know you're mine." I spoke as I trailed my fingers towards the heat between her legs. She opened them as much as she could but her pants restricted her to go any further.

Taking one of my fingers I dragged it from her belly button down to her pussy and into her wetness.

"Did I do this to you?" I hear her gasp and lean further into the tree to try and spread her legs more. "Are you this wet for me?"

"Yes, only you." I trace the finger back and forth against her in a steady motion. I feel her begin to press against me, trying to get more friction.

"You want more?" I ask her, as my fingers continue moving against her.

"Harder, please." She begs me as her legs try to bend her pussy down towards my fingers. I add another finger and continue sliding back and forth, her wetness coating my fingers. I want to slide inside of her but the thought of teasing her is too addicting. I want her to beg for my fingers, I want her to beg for release.

Adding another finger I keep sliding back and forth, she's getting wetter with every move. I feel twitching against my fingers, wanting more and more. I want to feel her come apart on me. Her hands go right into my hair, pulling me towards her.

"More, I need more." She moans. "Please, Tyler." At the sound of my name I push inside of her, giving her what she wants, giving her more. I start pumping my fingers in and out of her, curling the tips to hit that spot that makes her scream for me.

I move my face towards her pussy and I hear her moan, her legs giving way to my mouth as I drag my tongue across her clit. She jolts at the sensations my tongue is creating as I flick and suck her. I lift her left leg up with my free hand and place it on my shoulder, giving me better access to her.

Moving my fingers around I stretch and pull, loosening her up for my dick. My tongue does circles around her clit before I drag my teeth across it and nip lightly. She groans as I repeat the process, making it rougher each time. My teeth are biting lightly, then hard. Alternating between soft, sensual, rough and animalistic. Her sounds get louder as I continue, I move quicker and harder the louder she gets.

I know people can hear us now, she's not holding back. She's moaning and screaming my name, yelling _don't stop, faster, harder_ along with a slew of swears.

As I feel her beginning to tense up I don't stop my fingers from their relentless movements inside of her or my tongue from quickly flicking back and forth against her clit. Her hands are trapped inside my hair, tugging harder with every minute that goes by. Her leg on my shoulder tenses up and squeezes against me.

My curled fingers start rubbing against her spot and I feel her legs start to shake. I moved my free hand to her ass to help hold her up against the tree. Pushing my fingers harder inside her I flattened my tongue against her and slide it back and forth. The shaking in her legs got stronger and I heard her scream _fuck_ as she let go against my fingers. The throbbing and pulsing her pussy was doing against my fingers was making me even harder than I was before. I kept my mouth against her, licking all of her arousal up.

As she came down from her high she went limp against me, her leg falling off my shoulder. I caught her, pulling her up to stand with me while keeping my arms around her. My ears listened to the world around us as we stood in our own little bubble by the tree. I kissed her forehead as her breathing slowly went back to normal. I could have sworn I heard people talking about us, saying they could hear someone having 'a good time' in the woods. Part of me hated that they could hear us like this, the other part loved that others could hear what I could do to her. The latter was winning by a landslide right now.

I felt her groan as she adjusted herself against me and felt my dick pressing against her. "I'm not done with you yet, sweetheart."

I pusher her back against the tree again; placing my hands on her waist. I couldn't take it anymore; I had to be inside her. The only thing I want right now is to feel her wrapped around my dick. Abruptly I got down on my knees again, pulling her pants off her ankles. Standing up again I started to unbutton and push mine off as well. I felt her shaky hands at my shirt, trying to pull it off. I helped her and pulled it over my head and threw it onto the ground. When I looked up at her she had her shirt off and was unhooking her bra.

As I saw it fall to the ground I wrapped my arms around her and pressed our lips together. I felt her hot tongue poke out and stroke my bottom lip. The cool night air was closing in around us as our warm bodies melted against each other. Her soft skin was hot against mine. My dick was pressed hard on her stomach as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer. I could feel the heat from her pussy on my legs as she shoved her hips against me. It was as though she was begging me to take her. I moved my face to her chest and kissed above her pink nipples. Using my tongue I traced up her chest and along her collarbone.

"Tyler, please. Fuck me. I need to feel you." She whispered in my ear as I ghosted kisses along her neck.

"As you wish." I growl at her as I grab her ass and lift her up, positioning her above my dick. I feel her shiver as a breeze grazes over our skin.

**MALLORY**

I wrap my hands into his hair as he slides himself into me, stretching me, filling me. I'm already insanely wet from his fingers and mouth throwing me over the edge.

"Oh my god!" I moan as he lifts me up, pulling out almost all the way, before slamming back into me. His dick feels so hot inside me, like its warming me from the inside out. He groans into my neck as he lifts me again and again. I feel his hands squeeze my ass with every thrust.

"Tyler, harder. Fuck me." I demand. He obeys without question, pushing me against the tree. His eyes are black in the little light that we have, his muscles tense as he pulls out and pounds back in. I hear growling sounds falling from his lips as he focusing on fucking me as hard as he can.

"Fuck me!" I scream as his fingers dig into my hips, giving him more leverage. My back is scraping against the tree bark behind me, enhancing the sensations in my body. The pain of the scratches is making the pleasure of his dick so much sweeter.

"You like that, baby?" His voice is rough and low. "You like how I fuck you? You're mine."

He moves his face down to my chest and takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking on me. His hot mouth against my cold skin is incredible. I feel his teeth bite me and I moan. I love how his body feels pressed against mine, how he molds to me. He switches to the other nipple and I shiver at the sensation. I have been getting so caught up in the moment that when I hear a car honk it almost scares me.

We're in Central Park.

Fucking.

Against a tree.

"Come on baby, I want you to come on my dick." He whispered against my chest. He pulls his head back and watches me as I slowly start to slide my hand down my stomach towards my pussy. I watch his teeth bite his red bottom lip. "That's right baby, touch yourself."

When my hand reaches my wetness I begin to slide my fingers around, pinching and flicking my clit. My hips start to buck against him as my fingers move. I feel myself getting closer, my eye sight blurring and my body begins tingling.

"So close." I whisper. I pull my hand away from my clit and tangle it in his hair. He moves closer to me, his body now causing the friction I crave. Our bodies slam against each other as I fall apart in his arms, wrapped as tight as I can get myself around him.

For the second time tonight my body comes apart. My eye sight vanishes, I can only see black. My body feels dizzy and everything tingles. I feel weightless and heavy at the same time. I feel like I'm exploding into a million pieces.

Tyler's body shakes against me as I feel the hot wetness of his come inside me. His head is buried in my neck as husky growls escape his lips.

We're sweaty and panting against each other as another cool breeze brushes against out skin. I feel like I'm burning up, like my body temperature is getting hotter instead of cooler. He pulls back to look at me and I see his flushed cheeks and dark eyes.

"You mean so much to me, I don't even think you realize how much." His voice was soft and gentle. His hand came up and stroked my cheek as he lifted me off him, putting my feet on the ground.

**A/N: Reviews are better than Tyler taking you against a tree in the park. **

**Yeah, probably not. Review anyways please : ) **

**I really hope you guys enjoyed this; I had a lot of fun writing it.**

**Tyllory forever.**

**xoxoxBellaClary**


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